A/N: I added this song cause I think its whole vibe fits this chapter pretty well and I love it:)

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing in the fresh but still rather warm night air. Now that all sound and people around me were gone I felt how my head was pounding. But I put my attention away from the headache I had, it felt more like a sensation that was more and more disappearing while my focus left reality. 

Opening my eyes again after a few seconds I looked up at the dark night sky. There were no clouds but the lights around didn't allow me to see the stars very clearly. It felt almost hypnotizing, just looking up at the infinite nothing, the little light spots appearing to get more and more visible with every minute I stared at them.

Most of the time I didn't even notice the melodies or background noises that were constantly running around in my head anymore but at totally quiet moments like these they instantly took up more space in my thoughts. Trying to make out if it was a song by someone else or something my mind had made up I payed closer attention to the music that was stuck in my head.

Just for this moment everything seemed to be alright. Nothing wrong and no worries, something about stars made me so calm. They just kept shining on and on until one day their life would be over. No need to think about the next day. But of course for me there was. I could only hide for so long until I had to eventually figure out where I was going wrong. But right now I didn't want to figure out anything, even thought my mind wouldn't completely let go of it.

My thoughts wandered to back when Jonny had explained to me how stars died. I had never even thought about the fact that there had to be something more behind it. But Jonny of course was very intelligent and had explained it to me with all his knowledge. A single tear rolled down my eyes, thinking about our early days as a band sometimes made me really nostalgic. How had all this even happened? Now we were playing in front of thousands of people and many called us "biggest band on the planet" even though that wasn't true of course. There had been an one to a million chance that that bunch of awfully dressed college students we had been would actually make it. But somehow it had happened.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

That's where things had really started to get interesting. Almost ironic how I was laying here now, following those words I had written so long ago. Funnily enough, back when I had written Yellow I hadn't even been looking at the stars. But Jonny had just told me something about the stars...

There had always been something special about him, hadn't it? Something about the bond between me and him had always been a bit different. It's not like I wasn't as good friends with the others as well, especially Phil who had been with me from the very beginning. 

But still there was something different about it, the way we behaved when we were together...

Why was I even thinking about Jonny again? It had only been a few hours since everyone had left, leaving behind an overwhelming loneliness. Jay was probably happy to not have me around being annoying all day. 

Closing my eyes again I tried to stop thinking. It brought back the intense pain in my head again. 

It was already past 1am but I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway so I decided to follow the random ideas in my crazy mind.

A few minutes later I found myself in front of the enormous darkness of the sea, getting closer and and moving away again with every little roaring wave. I took in the smell of salt in the air and the sensation of the tiny crumbles of cold sand moving away underneath my soles to adapt to the form of my feet. 

Slowly approaching the wet part of the sand I let the ocean water sweep around my naked feet. Once I had reached the point where the water was covering me to my hips I squatted down and dipped my head into it. Somehow the cold water seemed to clear everything inside it, stopping the unbearable pounding of my headache and all my doubts about the future. 

After one or two really long minutes my lungs desperately called for air again so I was forced to lift my head out of the easing water again. My whole body was shivering as I slowly walked out of the shallow sea but it was worth it. For some reason this always made me feel better when I was having a restless night. I just wanted to have an answer to all my questions already but until then I needed nothing more desperately as at least some distraction.