Faded- Alan Walker

_____________

"Can we....... Just remain as friends?"

Jimin's mind flew blank to that. His heart stopped beating and his pulses ran cold. This was definitely something he was not expecting.

At all.

It was yesterday since he kissed Jungkook, and today he was going to tell Yoongi about it but the other already had plans to talk to him. So that's why they're here, in this familiar music room, breaking up.

Ouch.... it actually hurt more than Jimin expected it too.

"What?" Jimin whispers, feeling his hands shaking with a slight anxiety.

Stay calm.

Stay calm.

Yoongi sighs and turns to him from the seat on the piano, "I don't want to make you feel upset, but..... I think it'll be better for the both of us if we remain just as friends."

Does he know?!

Did someone catch him??

Jimin pouts slightly, feeling his eyes start stinging, "Why?"

It's not like he wasn't going to do the same thing either way because he knows adultery is just a plain no in a relationship, but.... It hurts a lot.

He doesn't want to break up with Yoongi...

The other has been a spine to his back since he got here, and they have developed a strong friendship apart from a relationship as well.

He just.... Grew attached to Yoongi, and he didn't expect for this break up to feel this heavy on his chest.

Don't get Jimin wrong, he knows he did something unforgiveable and he doesn't deserve Yoongi, but.... That guilt is what's eating him alive.

Yoongi grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers together, "Because we aren't meant to be together. You belong to someone else and so do I."

For a moment Jimin lets the words sink in, feeling a strong hallow start to swallow him up from the inside.

He has to be honest.

So Jimin gulps and grips his hand, "I..... If we are going to end this..... I need you to know-"

"Please don't," Yoongi cuts him off, a pain gleam in his eyes, "Whatever you've done.... Don't tell me.... I want you in my life, and the less I know the better, okay?"

Jimin frowns and softly caresses his knuckles, feeling himself the need to burst out crying at this very moment, "I'm sorry."

To his surprise Yoongi grabs him and engulfs him in a tight hug. Jimin wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly for feeling so guilty on the inside, but Yoongi being the angel he is, whispered comforting words against his ears.

"You don't need me anymore," Yoongi whispers and pulls away, a forced smile on his lips, "Be strong, okay? I'll be here right for you, always."

Jimin numbly nods, letting the other male guide them both out of the music room and down the hallway. However, Jimin feels himself growing a sense of panic. He feels like everyone is watching him, seeing how unfaithful he is.

Do they know?

They couldn't right?

They're still looking?

Why can't I breathe?

Jimin can't be in this building anymore. He needs to be alone.

Everyone is watching

Run.

And so he ran.

He left Yoongi behind and ran down the hallway while fighting back his tears, a sense of anger and guilt kept flooding his body and he just wants to break everything in his path.

Or break down himself.

So he barges right out the front doors and continues to run. Jimin ran with his lungs burning inside his chest and until his legs ached. Harsh words kept circulating in his head and he feels like he's barely even running anymore.

He's trying to escape.

Escape what exactly? The truth? The inner desires he always tried to hide from the world? The demons that are chasing after him, shouting to how much of an awful person he is.

He is an awful person.

And no one will ever take that thought out of his head.

He knows he is.

His body suddenly collapsed to the ground after tripping over his feet. Jimin cries out with his body rocking in sobs as he lays on the cemented ground, motionless.

It hurts.

His chest.

His lungs.

His heart...

Everything just hurts.

"Jimin!"

Jimin bites down his bottom lip to hold back his sobs as a familiar tall figure runs up in front of him with round glasses.

"N-Namjoon?" Jimin hiccups as the other scoops him up, "W-What.... I-I c-can't-"

"Shh it's okay," Namjoon coes, carrying Jimin to his car, "I'm take you to my place okay? Your arm is bleeding."

Jimin didn't even realize that upon impact to the ground, he made first impact with the ground and it scraped his entire forearm, ripping through the sleeve of his button up shirt. So he didn't even argue over the teen idle, he let the other settle him in his beautiful car and drive him away from the familiar bridge.

It's been a while since Jimin has gotten triggers of a panic attack, especially ever since he has met Jungkook. Today was just one of those days it wanted to make an appearance, sadly.

Slowly he's calming down with the air breezing his face from the lowered window and the distraction of Namjoon's car. The whispers in the deepest parts of his mind kept trying to claw their way to him, but he only glances at the taller; who's staring intently at the road with a pondering expression behind his glasses.

Jimin needs a distraction, or he might just get another episode.

"Why are you helping me?" Jimin asks lowly, moving his eyes to shyly stare at the road ahead.

Namjoon doesn't say anything at first, only arrived to the familiar looking mansion before turning to Jimin, "Let's just say, I know how it feels to be broken," He says and takes out his phone, "I'm ask Jungkook to come here after class."

Jimin's heart dropped and he shakes his head, "No! He'll be so worried-"

"As he should be," Namjoon finishes and piles out the car, "Trust me, you need him. You didn't run out of the school for no reason. You're lucky I even spotted you since you ran right past me, you could've had a full blown panic attack on that bridge and there would've been no one there to help you."

Jimin frowns to his words, letting them sink in and realize how right he actually was. Who knows what could've happened to him. He would've be alone.... With his demons. Hearing them grow louder with every passing second. For a moment Jimin was actually grateful that Namjoon saw him before anything more could happen, but part of him wished he never showed up.

So Jimin follows Namjoon out of the car. The two entered the silence of his house and Jimin reluctantly follows him into the enormous kitchen.

"Do you drink tea?"

Nervously Jimin nods and he sits on the barstool, watching as Namjoon heats up the tea pot while preparing two mugs filled with honey.

Namjoon turns to Jimin, leaning across the counter with a perplexed look in his eyes, "So, what's the matter? Why did you run?"

Jimin didn't want to talk about it, he felt too disgusted with himself and guilty. He knows by now that Namjoon wouldn't judge him, but that still make him feel any less like shit.

He just... Can't forgive himself.

Yoongi had every right to break up with him, shit he couldn't even kiss his own boyfriend and a whole month has passed.

He deserves someone better.

"Me and Yoongi broke up," Jimin whispers lowly, deepening his frown, "And.. It's my fault."

Saying the words outloud feels like he's being stabbed on the chest.

Why am I such a screw up?

Namjoon hums lowly, "I see," he whispers, "But don't let it get to you. Break ups are hard, obviously, but at least he'll be there for you now, right?"

The words sinked in Jimin's head, making him feel a little less the need to kill himself. He didn't lose Yoongi, the other is still there, but they're just not dating. Jimin needs to get a grip, especially since this break up will do them both more justice than cause harm.

But Jimin still feels hurt.

Is this how a breakup is suppose to be like? Painful? The feeling of complete loneliess and that hard acknowledgement that you deserve no one in life?

I'm alone.

Feel like you don't matter anymore.

To anyone.

Not even to the God he grew up praising too.

He's not forgiven, especially to the endless piles of sins that's patched up to him.

Jungkook began to crawl through his mind and his chest only fell heavy. After he kissed him last night, Jungkook didn't even do anything, he just said they have to go to bed and turned his back to him.

Does he not care anymore?

Maybe he mixed up his feeling-

No.

He loves Jungkook.

That much he knows, and that's why he was going to break up with Yoongi so the other wouldn't have to suffer.

But Jimin being inexperienced with breakups didn't expect for it to cause a strong troll on him, to feel alone.

Does Jungkook not love him?

Did he make a mistake?

Is he..... Really meant to... Never find happiness?

The words continued to circulate Jimin's head, his heart slightly skipping beats and his throat clogging up as Namjoon turns around when the teapot began to whistle. He pours the teas on each mug but Jimin can't even focus on the water being poured out. The room felt hot now and his chest clenched up tight, almost as if someone is pressing it down hard.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Namjoon turns around, freezing once he noticed Jimin's state. The smaller sends him a shakily smile and takes the mug but suddenly Jimin freezes, the tea cup shakes in his hand and it slips his fingers. He's choking, feeling as if someone is gripping his entire throat.

Alone.

Heathen.

Sinner.

Sinner.

He starts to feel numb and this intense weakness circulating his body and then his knees buckling up despite the fact he's only sitting down. He tries to get his breath together but he can't.... Breathe.

He can't breathe.

Everything is suddenly spinning.

"Jimin?"

And his body gave out. He was close to impacting to the floor from the bar stool but strong arms caught him and picked him up. The air isn't accessing his chest as a wide range of memories and harsh words circulate his head in a rapid speed.

Sinner.

Sinner.

God won't forgive you.

Worthless.

Cheater.

Unfaithful.

Yoongi hates you.

Jungkook is disgusted with you.

Sinner.

Heathen.

Suddenly his body is met with a hard surface and sees Namjoon's face in front of him.

Namjoon.

"N-Namjoon," Jimin gasps, eyes wide and his hand shaking, "I...... I c-can't..... I."

"Shhh it's okay Jimin," The other says calmly but it sounds so far away, "Don't curl up, look at me, breathe."

Jimin tries to mimicking his breathing but he can't...... He can't do it.

Why isn't he breathing?

W-Why can't he see Namjoon?!

Jimin raises his shaking hand and starts crying, seeing blood on them.

"I can't feel my hand," Jimin gasps, and bangs his hand against the floor, "B-Blood. So much b-blood."

Namjoon kept his body down to the floor, leaning over him, "Look at me Jimin, don't look anywhere else. Only me."

Jimin tries but his focus is growing blurred, his skin sweating with black spots circulating his vision. He bangs his hands against the floor once again, trying to urge a feeling but he feels nothing.

Why can't he feel anything.

And he wails.

Instinctively his body tries to curl up but Namjoon firmly holds him to sprawl on the floor, "If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream, but don't curl up. You have to breath Jimin."

"J-Jungkook," Jimin chokes out, bring a hand to clutch his chest. It almost feels like a vaccum is inhaling out all of the air out of his lungs, leaving him desperately trying to grasp for it.

He feels weak.

"Jungkook will be here soon," Namjoon assures, checking Jimin's pulses and frowns deeply, "Your pulses are racing, focus on your breathing and look at me. Don't stop focusing on me."

Jimin suddenly wobbles his lips and cries out, his throat burning by how it feels like it's clutching up tight.

His conscious kept drifting in and out.

Jimin feels like he's dying.

______________

Jungkook throws himself out of his car the moment he got to Namjoon's house, his body shaking in anticipation. He got a text five minutes ago that Namjoon needs him here, now. So Jungkook raced out of the school while being in the midst of class and arrived here in a spam of 3 minutes by how fast he was speeding down the streets.

His legs sprints through the door, feeling a heavy pain on his chest the minute he hears voice in the kitchen.

And then a painful scream.

He recognizes that scream.

Jungkook feels his legs weakening the moment he arrives to the kitchen, seeing Jimin on the floor; sweating and viciously trying to breath while Namjoon tries to aid him.

"Jimin," Jungkook whispers and instantly rushes to his side, tears pooling his eyes as he glances at Namjoon, "What happened?"

"Anxiety attack," Namjoon answers, two fingers pressed against Jimin's wrists, "He's thinking about something, it's triggering it. You need to get him to think about here, the present."

Jungkook's nods firmly and he forces a smile and gently holds Jimin's shaking hand, making the smaller look at him with alarmed eyes.

"J-Jungkook?"

Jungkook forces back a whimper and slowly nods, "Yes angel, I'm right here. Listen baby, whatever you're seeing right now... It's not real. You are the only person in control of your mind, okay?" Jungkook says lightly, brushing his sweaty hair away from his eyes.

Jimin frowns and more tears pooling his eyes, "It hurts..... I'm covered in blood. I-I can smell it."

Jungkook heaves out his breathes and was about to hug him but Namjoon holds him back, "Don't, he'll feel suffocated, he needs to inhale air," He says and gets up, grabbing a celery from his fridge and gives it to Jungkook.

The younger looks at it with a raised eyebrow, "And what the hell do you want me to do with this? Shove it down his throat?"

To this Jimin breathes out a faint chuckle but then starts to wheeze and cough aggressively. Namjoon's eyes widen and he instantly puts him in recovery position. Jimin's body shakes feverishly as he continues to cough and then breathes heavily. Namjoon puts him back to his back, glaring at Jungkook, "He needs to smell something! Celery has a strong scent dumbass, now break it and make him smell it!"

Jungkook instantly breaks the celery in half and fans it lightly to Jimin's nose. For a moment Jimin continues to breathe heavily but he tries to gather his breath more calmly, his hand gripping tighter to Jungkook's hand.

"That's it angel," Jungkook whisper, "Breathe. You're not there.... You're with me," He continues to say, weakly smiling to Jimin's chest moving more calmly, "And Namjoon hyung is here too, at his house. We're together, okay? You're okay."

Jimin continues to mimick Jungkook's breathing and slowly began to calm down.

And then he suddenly snapped.

Jimin aggressively began to sob and grip his hair tightly. Namjoon rushes in front of Jimin and holds his arm to keep him steady. Jungkook watches with horror eyes and a broken heart as Jimin cries hard, gripping his hand tightly.

"It's okay," Namjoon coes, "Don't curl up, okay? We are here Jimin."

Jimin sobs heavily, making Jungkook hold his hand tightly and rub his arm gently, "I'm here angel," Jungkook whimpers, "Just breathe."

Jimin focuses his eyes to Jungkook, taking in his delicate eyes and worried stare. His Jungkookie is worried. He doesn't want him to worry at all. Jimin's mind suddenly began beam with clarity, finding something blooming through the lurking demons prying inside his head.

He found light.

Jungkook has always been there for him, no matter what. Jimin isn't alone because regardless of what the world may throw at him, Jungkook remains right beside him, holding him up right, like how he has been doing since the day they met.

Jungkook is here.

With a small smile forming Jungkook's lips he observes how Jimin began to calm down once again, relaxing on the ground with a peaceful look filling his eyes. Namjoon slowly gets up and gets a bowl of cold water with ice and bringing it back and places it beside Jimin in preparation.

Jimin and Jungkook didn't lose eye contact not once. The comfort and chemistry between the two only grows at a rapid speed, sending a straight electric shock to Jungkook's heart. Jungkook gently rubs Jimin's hand, speaking with his eyes on how much Jimin means to him.

And just like that, Jungkook won this battle against Jimin's demons, saving the boy and bringing him to the light.

His tiny angel.

"Jungkook," Jimin whispers, edging him closer with his hand.

Jungkook twitches a smile, "Jimin," Jungkook whispers and brings Jimin's hand to his cheek and presses a tender kiss against his skin, "My angel, I'm right here."

And that was enough to make Jimin's heart thump hard against his chest.

This time not from anxiety.

Namjoon needed to check Jimin's hand, so the two untangles their hands while Namjoon checks Jimin's pulses, seeing it slowly go back to normal and then he gently places Jimin's hand in the icy water.

"Fuck!" Jimin screams from the sudden impact and sits up, but then starts to whirl slightly to the sudden dizziness spreading his body.

Jungkook instantly rushes behind him, letting Jimin lay his back on his chest, right between his legs, while he kept his hands still in the water.

Namjoon fights a smirk, "That's a reaction," He snickers and guided Jimin's hands away before patting them down with a towel, "Your body reacted, meaning your senses are in active. How are you feeling?"

Jungkook gulps as Jimin leans his head back against his shoulder, breathing heavily with closed eyes, "Weak, but better."

Namjoon slowly nods and glances at Jungkook, "Take him to your room, he needs to relax. I'm go back to school but I'll be back," Namjoon says while getting to his feet. Jungkook nods and gently leans to Jimin's ear.

"I'm going to carry you okay?" Jungkook says, making Jimin give him a stiff nod and leans slightly forward as Jungkook slides away from him but then scoops him up in his arms.

His tiny baby.

Who he loves more than anything in this life.

More than his own life.

________________________________________

A/N:

Lovelies!! I'm so sorry that I haven't update in years! School has been affecting me lately, but I'm slowly managing somehow. Thank you so much for supporting this book and giving it so so much love!!!

I PURPLE YOU GUYS <33