Power Over Me - Dermot Kennedy

Warning: Self Harm

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Jungkook feels the life slowly chipping away inside his heart.

The laughter and conversations echo around him in a blur. It's like he's there and not there at the same time.

It feels like he's living, but he's dead on the inside.

All his attention is consumed entirely by Jimin. Everything he does or says captures Jungkook's uttermost attention. He's sitting with Yoongi on the love seat, and the chemistry between the two is so obvious to even a blind person. It's been Three hours already that Jimin has been here and Jungkook has fought every urge to talk to him, even with the smaller sent him a small smile when he first arrived. To numb the pain, he drank around four shots of vodka and still feel sober to his displeasure. Everyone around him is slightly intoxicated, except for Jimin of course. Yoongi is more on the tipsy level, but he still remains with a respect attitude towards Jimin

And there's something that Jungkook noticed that makes him want to drown the whole bottle of vodka instead.

Yoongi makes Jimin laugh.

A lot.

And as much as Jungkook is grateful for that, he still feels a little upset.

Maybe a lot actually.

Upset at the fact that he wasn't beside Jimin to make him smile, or laugh or to hear how his day is going.

Or just to be around his presence in general.

He's so close yet so far, and Jungkook is fighting with every fiber in his body to remain steady.

Fuck, he has the urge to cut right now.

"Wanna make him notice?" Lisa suddenly whispers against his ear, snapping Jungkook back to reality and turn to face her lopsided smile.

Shit he forgot Lisa was even here in the first place.

"What do you mean?" He asks, raising an eyebrow with his heart skipping a beat slightly.

He wasn't being too obvious now was he?

Surely Jimin would've noticed, he notices stares when he feels it.

Lisa smirks widely and leans forward, pressing her lips against his.

For a moment Jungkook's mind falls blank and the world around him began to spin rapidly.

No...

No no no no.

Listen as much as Jungkook is upset with Jimin, this is not the way.

He knows he will hurt Jimin like this, seeing him prefer the comfort and love of other people other than his and that's not true.

I didn't use him!

He's going to think I only used him. for my own benefits.

Because it's what I 'do'.

He's going to think so bad about me, only proving on how he's a fuck boy that move on so easily.

I don't want to hurt him.

I want Jimin to be happy, even if it's not with me.

So Jungkook pulls back instantly, sending a hard glare to a smirking Lisa. At that moment he realized how selfish he has been. He was so consumed by his jealousy and sadness that he pushed Jimin away.

He ignored him when the other would approach him.

He avoided him whenever he saw him.

He stopped visiting him ever since he got together with Yoongi.

He..... Showed that he didn't care, like how he does to everyone else.

And that's the thing, Jimin isn't like everyone else.

Their friendship was one of a kind, and Jungkook pushed the best thing that has happened in his life away. All because he's now dating someone else.

That's so stupid!

This is Jimin's first relationship! What if he needed to ask Jungkook for advise about just anything but because the other would ignore him, he had to deal with it on his own.

He pushed his soulmate away...

Jungkook snaps his head around the room to see Jimin is gone and Yoongi is giving him a lethal glare.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!? You know how much he cares about you! Is it that easy to replace him? Huh? Of course it would be easy for you, but not for him! Not Jimin!" Yoongi snaps, rising to his feet instantly, causing Hoseok to stand up and hold him back.

Jungkook couldn't speak, he was in so much shock to how angry Yoongi looks at this moment.

He..... Cares about his and Jimin's friendship? But why? How could he let anyone else care more about Jimin than himself?

It doesn't make any sense.

But Jungkook didn't let Yoongi's words get the upper hand.

Jungkook rises to his feet, his face red now in anger, "You don't know nothing about me and Jimin!"

Yoongi suddenly laughs drily, "He talks about you every single fucking day Jungkook! He never stopped caring about you! You stopped caring about him the moment he dated me! Now what type of friend does that? Right, the one who can have anyone replace him with a snap of his fingers because you're just that special to those vultures at school. While you were pinpointing who to replace Jimin with, he had to suffer as they practically ate him up day by day! Where were you? Not fucking around."

"I didn't replace him!" Jungkook yells, taking a step forward but this time Taehyung held him back.

The smaller boy grits his teeth pushes Hoseok back so he wouldn't touch him, "Yes you did! Because he sure as hell didn't replace you! Be with whoever the fuck you want to be with, for all he cares, but don't let him go! That's all he cares about, that you still remain there for him in his life! That you are still present! He doesn't want to fucking lose you, but as if you give two shits about him."

Jungkook's hands balled to a fist and was about to lunge at him but Taehyung held his shoulders back, "Shhh Kookie, look at me, look at me."

All Jungkook sees is red with that knife pain in his heart that's twisting fiercely, making it hard for him to breath alone. His face is suddenly averted to Taehyung when the other forced him to look at him with his hand.

"Now it's not about him," Taehyung says, keeping eye contact as he rubs the other's arm to calm him down, "Find Jimin, now. You guys need to talk."

Jungkook didn't want to leave at first. All his anger and rage is directly towards Yoongi and he wanted nothing more but to beat him up so badly, but he knows Taehyung is right. He needs to find Jimin.

He.... He needs to talk to him.

So with one last glare to Yoongi, he rushes out of the living room. Jungkook doesn't know why, but he feels this strong anticipation as he looks around the large house for the tiny man. He didn't hear the front door close, so Jimin has to be somewhere in this house.

Somewhere.

Anywhere.

A wide range of memories and emotions flooded Jungkook's body, giving himself more motivation to look for his angel. To restore what was bent.

To restore what they had.

To keep Jimin in his life.

A weight falls on his chest as he moves through the hallways and up the stairs, but Jimin is no where to be found.

In the midst of walking down the second floor hallway, he hears a small whimper behind a door.

Jungkook didn't even knock as he burst through the door, losing all sense of his blood levels in his body to the sight before his eyes.

No....

No no...

Jimin snaps his head up to him, a small pocket knife in hand.

And blood on his sliced wrist.

"Leave me alone Jungkook! Get out!" Jimin screams, slicing another line against his skin that was once smooth and not marked with scars.

No.... Not Jimin...

No, no...... He thought Jimin wouldn't....

Fuck, he's cutting right in front of him and Jungkook feels like he's being stabbed repeatedly on the chest.

Jungkook instantly grabs the blade from Jimin's hands and throws it somewhere in the room, not before grabbing Jimin and tightly holds him against his chest.

But Jimin fought against him.

"No! Don't fucking touch me!" Jimin yells, pounding his small fist against his chest, "You left me! You abandoned me! You knew how much you meant to me and you just stopped being there for me! How could you do that to me! Do you not want me to be happy? Is that it! You were my best friend! You're suppose to be there for me!!!"

Jungkook bites down his bottom lip to hold back a sob as Jimin continues to cry against his chest, his hits growing even more fierce against his chest.

"Why aren't you there anymore? I was there! I tried talking to you and you pushed me away! Do you not care about me anymore, huh? Just tell me already!" Jimin screams and looks up at him, "Tell me I don't mean anything to you anymore. Please tell me so I can end this suffering already, please."

A tear streamed down Jungkook's eyes as he pulls back and holds Jimin's cheeks, "I can't tell you that angel.... You mean everything to me."

Jimin frails his arms with his lips falling to a scowl, "T-Then what the fuck! Why.... Why aren't you there.... Why can't I see you anymore Jungkook! Why did you.... Stop caring about me?"

Jungkook slumps his shoulders and caresses his thumb against Jimin's cheek, "Because you are happy without me Jimin. You don't need me anymore. Yoongi makes you happy and I can't just come in between you two. I want to be the one to make you happy. I want to be the reason for your smile or laugh. The best way to not feel hurt is by pushing you away."

Jimin slowly shakes his head and sniffs, "Jungkook listen to me; You saved me... Did you forget that? Because I sure didn't. You didn't only just save me that night at the river, but in many ways than one... I got to the point where I would look forward to my day just to see you! Don't you see? I need you Jungkook! Every second of every day.... I fucking need you... It just felt like you didn't need me," The tears behind Jimin's eyes kept swimming down his cheeks as he places a tender hand against Jungkook's chest, where is heart is, "I don't care who you start to date or mess around with, that's your decision, but.... Please... Don't leave my side. If you do then... Just say it now.... I-I can't control my demons anymore, I need to know the truth."

Why didn't Jungkook open up about how he felt before if he knew Jimin is completely understanding?

Perhaps because Jungkook doesn't even know how he feels either. 

He doesn't understand his own head, so how can he possibly explain his own actions to Jimin?

The taller's heart clenched and he brings Jimin to his arms once again, crying against his shoulder, clutching onto him for dear life, "Don't leave me please.... Please! I can't take this pain anymore. I'm tired of this... I'm so tired of feeling this emptiness inside me! Please.... Stay.... S-Stay with me.... I need you."

By now Jungkook is begging. The only one that is able to heal his wounded heart, cure his loneliness and stitch his life together is Jimin.

It's always been Jimin.

And it seems it's the same way with Jimin as well.

Hands caresses Jungkook's cheeks, making him rise his head to look into the teary eyes of the shorter boy, "I never left lovely."

Jungkook's breath suddenly hitches and he caresses Jimin's face with one hand while the other slithers around his waist, "Promise me you are still with me.... Promise me that you're still my angel, please."

Jimin stares into his eyes, letting them drift down to his lips before moving them back up to his eyes, "I promise that you are still my lovely and I'm still your angel."

A faint smile forms Jungkook's lips and he nuzzled their foreheads together, breathing in this moment; forgetting about the small party downstairs and focusing on their own little world.

Where they molded the broken pieces of their hearts.

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A/N:

Hey guys, just a little heads up, I know their relationship is looking quite.... Unhealthy at the moment with this much emotional and mental dependency on each other, and let me remind you that they're still teenagers in this story and have been broken due to their own battles.

They're two broken and insecure souls coming together, developing feelings that they don't even know themselves what it means. Jimin never been close to anyone in an emotional level, and Jungkook never had anyone who's seen so much of his vulnerability - and they're still trying to figure themselves out. They're still learning about intimacy and the lines between friendship and relationship.

Give them time to learn and explore.

Don't judge too harshly, it takes time to learn and understand feelings. 

Also don't chose sides, just continue reading and we'll see what happens!

I PURPLE YOU GUYS <333