— chapter twenty six —
KISS THE GIRL

—

REMELDA WAS SCREWED. For more reasons than one, she knew that saying yes to Remus was a mistake and it could not end well. The first had to be her roommates letting Nancy into her dorm room as she was supposed to be deciding what to wear for the party. The snotty girl crossed her arms and stood near the door, looking at Remelda as she looked through all the clothes of her closet.

"So, I heard you're going with that Gryffindor to Slughorn's party," she spat out. Remelda couldn't help but roll her eyes at Nancy's pettiness of it all.

She took a good look at the black dress in her closet. One more plain which would be better for a party like this, but then again she had no jewelry that would look spectacular with it. She moved it to the left and looked at the next one. "Yes, Nancy, I am. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes, in fact, I do," Nancy took a step away from the door, "You used to be on top of the world, and now you're just nothing. I can't believe you'd stoop so low. It's a little sad to watch, really."

Remelda rolled her eyes, looking at the next emerald dress. It was a nice dress her mother had picked out for her about a year ago and insisted from bring to Hogwarts just in case, and though she hated her mother, she loved the dress. It was beautiful and she always did look good in green. "If I were at the top of the world, I would have Demetri at my side, correct? And then where would you be?" she questioned before pulling the dress off the rack and showing it to the girl, "And what do you think of this?"

Nancy scoffed, "I'm not here to help you pick out dresses, Remelda, I'm here to help you get on the right path again. And Demetri would've noticed me eventually."

The Black girl hummed, "Doubtful. But sure, if that helps you sleep at night. And I think I'll stick with this dress. It's quite nice."

"I just – I don't understand how you could join them? People who are actually willing to give magic to those it doesn't belong to?" Nancy questioned, a malice in her tone at the thought of someone she deemed impure to have magic.

"Well, magic is a wonderful thing, yes. And if someone is born with the gift of magic, then why should we ban them from practicing it? You do know what happens when someone bottles up their magic, right?" Remelda went to her dresser to look for the nice silver necklace with the roses around it.

"I don't see where you're going with this."

Remelda turned to Nancy with a soft look, "It causes death. They blow up, and in the process kill. Muggles and wizards alike. I don't want death, and I don't think you want it either. So there, that's a logical reason to not want to join the Death Eaters that you'll accept."

Nancy looked at her, a little trace of defeat hidden on her face before she masked it again, "Why do always talk to me? I badger you and yet you always answer with such kindness."

"I see myself in you," Remelda admitted, "You come back to me every time so that you can gloat but I think you're just scared to admit you have these thoughts. These thoughts where you're not bound to someone because of your parents or your house and you're free. That was me, even at the beginning of the year. But I had someone who helped free me, but you don't. And you're so scared so you'll only admit it to someone who won't say a word to you. Me. Because no one would believe me, right? No one here, anyways. So you say everything you want and try and convince yourself these thoughts will go away but they never will. And because you don't have a sibling willing to help you, I will. That's why I always answer your questions and go along with your games. I want to help you."

Nancy took a step back, shocked and almost disgusted. "You're wrong. I don't want your help – I don't...I don't want anything from you."

Remelda nodded, "Alright, but you always know where to find me if you do need me."

―

She met Remus in the corridor leading to Slughorn's office where he held all his parties. He smiled dazedly when he saw her and she gave a small blush. It felt like something from a teen movie, Nadia would say if she saw them.

"Wow," he breathed out, causing her to blush even more. She couldn't help it. And this was reason number two; he made her blush and feel these weird things in her stomach when she thought of him or when she saw him. It was terrible and she desperately needed it to stop. "You look amazing, Remelda."

"Thank you, Remus. You look handsome as well," a practiced compliment her mother made her learn. These were for the annual parties held between the purebloods and she was always expected to be on her best behavior, she felt for a moment sucked into that world again until Remus offered her hand and she accepted. She wasn't there, this wasn't a party she learned of her arranged marriage, this was a fun get together with Remus. She was alright.

"Shall we?" she nodded at his question and the two walked into the party, which was already starting to begin. She spotted Nadia with her brother, the two dancing as Nadia laughed. She also noticed how Nadia stepped on his toe and he didn't even wince. He was used to that by now, some girls had two left feet at those parties – some boys too.

James was with Lily as the two were currently eating instead of dancing. Others from Slytherin and the other houses were seen there as well, but Remelda paid them no mind. She only turned back to Remus, "Wanna dance?"

"You like dancing?" he asked, but accepted her of nonetheless and the two moved to where everyone else was.

"A little. I had to learn for the huge parties people who throw and we were forced to attend. But I guess I also enjoy it too, with the right person," she almost winked at the end but decided against it since they were in public and this was with Remus – someone she could absolutely not fall for.

"Ah, I see. Well, I must say, you are a wonderful dancer," he gave her a smile and twirled her.

She chuckled at him, muttering a thanks and enjoyed the moment. It was nice, there with Remus as they talked while dancing and enjoying each other's presence. Then a comfortable silence fell between them as Remelda continued to hum along with the nice music provided there. She looked over and saw that Lily had dragged James to dance and she gave a quiet laugh.

"What?" Remus asked her when he heard the ever-so-light laughter she let out.

"Look," she gave a subtle nod to the pair, "He looks absolutely miserable."

"James? Oh no, he loves dancing. More than Lily, actually. He just finds it entertaining to pretend to hate everything Lily likes. I don't know why, but I don't question it," he lowered his voice, "I think it's because he thinks it's hot when she's angry or annoyed at him."

She wrinkled up her nose in disgust and Remus couldn't help but think that it was too adorable. "Ew, I most certainly did not need to know that."

Remus laughed so hard he threw his head back, causing some people to look at them for a moment. He didn't mind but Remelda grew slightly uncomfortable, she hated when people just looked at her. Still, she didn't say a word about it. "I just thought you might want to know that."

"Well, I really didn't," Remelda shook her head, "Next time you don't have to go into that. You can leave it at the I don't know."

"Next time? So you're saying that this can happen again? Or will?" Remus raised an eyebrow and Remelda sucked in a breath.

"Yeah, there might," she weakly said, trying to tell herself to resist.

Third reason why all of this was a mistake; Remus was great guy and she couldn't help but fall for him. It was terrible and she hated it but loved it at the same time. And as she looked at him, felt his hands on her, she felt herself just falling for him more and more and she let go. No. She couldn't.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. This – I'm sorry," Remelda stood away from him, leaving the party in a rush only for Remus to follow her.

Once she had rushed down the corridor and they were far away from the party, Remus called out to her. "What happened? I thought we were having a good time back there. Did I – did I do something wrong?"

She froze, shaking her head and turning around to him cautiously, "No. We were but I can't. You didn't do anything wrong, it's just me."

"You don't like me, do you?" Remus asked, "Merlin, I'm such an idiot! Sirius said that I had a chance with you so I took it and now I look like a fool, don't I?"

"No, no. I do. I do fancy you," Remelda admitted, realizing that was the first time she said that out loud, "But I. We. It can't happen, we won't work."

"Why do you say that? You don't know that, we could work," Remus tried to persuade her.

"How do you know that?" she asked him, "I want to believe that everything will work out, but nothing does. In my life, there's always a downside to everything and nothing ever works out how I want it to and I don't want you to be another thing that I just mess up. You don't deserve that."

"You won't. You don't have to doubt this either, just have hope that everything will work out. Please. For me. Don't deny yourself happiness, Remelda," Remus was close to her, so close that if she reached out her hand slightly she would touch him.

Remelda looked at him, looked at the scar on his nose and the look in his eyes and was captivated. She tried to think again about what was stopping her and suddenly it didn't matter. Because Remus was right in that moment, she had to stop preventing herself from being happy. If she were truly free like she told Nancy before, she wouldn't be denying him. And she wanted to be free, for all her words to be true to that girl.

So she let out a breath and looked at Remus, "Okay. I fancy you, Remus, what happens now?"

He smiled at her, that blinding smile that made her heart melt and leaned in closer, causing her to suck in another breath. Without another second passing, he kissed her. Softly, as if she were made of class and she let go, cupping his face and bringing him closer. It was perfect and more magical than anything she had ever seen or felt before.

And when he let go and looked at her, she knew there wasn't an ounce of regret inside her.