— chapter twenty four —
EASIER SAID THAN DONE

—

IT SEEMED ALMOST impossible to be around Remus now. All she did was blush and hide her face and suddenly she didn't feel like Remelda anymore. Not the cold girl who was feared by many because of her name, not the girl who rolled her eyes at everything and didn't have emotions. She felt like someone entirely new and she didn't like it at all. Because before, even when she had these feelings and hadn't come to terms with it, she was still that Remelda. Still the Remelda who was confused by Disney movies and hated Herbology, who had conversations with Remus about everything. But now she was a new girl around him because of emotions – these damn emotions.

         Because since this revelation or whatever, she had begun to realize as to why she fell her him. The way he explained the concept of Sleepy Beauty to her because Nadia had already planned on them watching it the upcoming weekend, or how he gave her this small smile when she began to rant about Herbology. Honestly, why had she taken the class again that year? She was complete rubbish at it and didn't exactly like it, so why? Oh, right, the Death Eaters always need skilled heroes – and more intel on St. Mungo's. You'll do perfectly there.

         Thank you so much, parents.

         Even with them gone from her life (since January!), they were still messing with her. Making her life hell. She would escape them next year – no more Herbology for her. But she stopped rambling and rushing out her words when she saw Remus' smile as she went crazy, suddenly blushing and apologizing. And when did Remelda do that? When did Remelda Black apologize? Never. She never did and there she was apologizing and hiding behind her hair. Who was she?

         And she tried very hard for it to be unseen. Remus was friends with her brother – her brother – so it wasn't like they could even be together or anything. But she still blushed and she still went silent and looked at him with these eyes that sparkled and even though she didn't know it, he returned those eyes. And while Sirius Black was not the smartest man in the world, he knew those eyes. Sparkling eyes.

         While Sirius was not smart, he knew something about that twinkle. That glint and the smile that followed. He had seen in it James when he saw Lily, when he leaned over the Gryffindor table and bit into his apple after giving a dirtier suggestion to Lily, who would roll her eyes and maybe scoff. Liked to think he saw it in Nadia too. She always did seem to smile when she looked his way, and that was a wonderful sight. Because that sight was something more, and Sirius wanted it to be returned because he really knew himself and knew that he always had the same lovesick expression when he looked at Nadia Greene. She was too beautiful not to, really.

         With that being said, Sirius Black knew something about that look. Had seen in it his mate for months. Well, after he began talking to Remelda, that blush and defensive nature about the topic. No, Sirius, shut up. I do not – it's not. I'm not saying Remelda isn't nice. But no. Just – no, no, no.

         So when he saw it returned in Remelda's eyes, Sirius had a silent cheer. (Silent...more like he squealed like a little girl and told James and the two of them held hands and jumped around in a circle.) And if there was another thing about him, it was that Sirius Black was not a quiet man. Couldn't keep anything to himself, really. So, the following Friday alone in the Room of Requirement with Remelda (the others hadn't arrived), he struck.

         "What's going on between you and Remus?" he asked nonchalantly, placing his hand into the bowl of popcorn and taking some out.

         Remelda froze for a moment at the question before returning to normal, fluffing out her pillow and sitting down in the chair next to them couch on which Sirius sat. "Nothing. We're just friends."

         "Just friends. Well, if I hadn't heard that statement before I might've believed you, but I have. I see the way you look at him," Sirius continued.

         "Like what? A human being?" Remelda sarcastically questioned, wishing for Remus – no, not Remus, anyone – to save her.

         Sirius shook his head, "No, no. Your eyes light up. Quite funny, actually, 'cause he doesn't seem to ever notice."

         "Look, Sirius, I really don't feel like having this chat. Especially with my brother of all people," Remelda replied, hoping that would end the conversation.     

         "Would you like me to get Nadia? Or Lily? Maybe you'll talk to them," he suggested.

         "And have them report everything back to you? Not a chance, Sirius, I'm not an idiot."

         "Never said you were," Sirius shrugged, "But I know you like him, can't hide that from me. I know you better than anyone; I'm your brother."

         "So? And, for your information, I don't like Remus. We're just friends, nothing else," Remelda took a sip of the drink she had on the coffee table before.

         Sirius sighed, "But 'just friends' don't look at each like that. Think Nadia and I are just friends? No, because she looks at me another way and I the same."

         "Oh, don't get all Shakespeare on me. This isn't a holiday ball or anything, it's also not dinner time. So speak like a normal person – like you do with everyone else," she rolled her eyes.

         "I do not – I don't," Sirius tried to dispute, but stopped when he realized his attempts were futile. "Okay, maybe I have a different voice, but I thought it would help you see the truth!"

         "What truth? That I fancy Remus? Because that isn't truth," it was. It was the truth time and time again because refusing it was a lie. She liked Remus and it terrified her and she most certainly wasn't going to have this conversation with her brother.

         "Yes, you do! I can see it, so why do you lie like that?"

         "Like what? You're speaking nonsense, Sirius, so just stop making a fool of yourself," Remelda tried again, growing desperate for the conversation to end. She already knew what to do; nothing. Do absolutely nothing because after Remus graduates from Hogwarts they'll surely only see each other a few times and these pesky feelings will just diminish. Right? Right. That's the plan anyways.

         Sirius opened his mouth to speak again when the door opened and in the room popped Remus and the rest of everyone else who were there for movie night. "Nadia!" Sirius cheered, a smile overwhelming his face as he gave her a peck when she came closer.

         "Love," she greeted him before addressing everyone else, "Now, who's ready for Sleeping Beauty?"

         Lily raised her and James' hands, who just let it happen knowing fighting her wouldn't make a difference. Remus sat down on the other end of the couch than Sirius, closer to Remelda. He sent her a small smile, which she returned.

         "Excited?" he asked her.

         "A little, but I don't think it'll make a difference. I hardly understand a thing that happens in these movies or why. I mean, they're ridiculous," Remelda honestly said.

         "That's because you're focusing on the logic of everything. To truly see the magic, logic needed to be thrown out the window."

         "Easier said than done, Lupin," she said back, "And look at you, saying that. You're one of the most logical people I know."

         "I'm also someone who grew up with these movies, and has been friends with Nadia since last year," Remus said, "Magic comes in many different forms, Remelda, and you can see it if you're willing to watch."

         "So philosophical," she commented on that, "Almost like a professor."

         He sent her a smile as if he was telling her a secret, that little glint in his eyes, "I try." And he turned back to the TV with the movie beginning to play.

         She continued to look at him for a moment more with a small smile before also turning to the screen. Merlin, Remelda was properly fucked. Maybe he did like her, but it couldn't happen. James was sitting next to him and swatting his arm every five seconds and Lily rolled her eyes and Sirius was there, a reminder that these were his friends – her brother was his friend.

         Remus was going to leave the next year and she was going to still be at Hogwarts. Remus was friends with her brother and she couldn't be with someone who was friends with Sirius prior to being a relationship with her. It wouldn't work. What happened if their relationship failed? Remus would either be sent away from the friend group or she would have to continue seeing him at events Sirius had all his friends at.

         They wouldn't work. Remelda saw that, so why was Sirius trying to push it? Didn't he see? Didn't he understand? Then again, Sirius Black never claimed to be a smart man, but he did know something about that glint in the eyes. Sadly, he didn't know about the one Remelda had; the one of longing but knowing she could never have. Their relationship wouldn't work.

         She continued to repeat that to herself through the entirety of the movie.