— chapter twenty one —
ONCE UPON A FULL MOON

—

            GRIPPING THE QUILL tightly, the girl bit her lip out of frustration with eyebrows furrowed and eyes glaring. It shouldn't be that hard, it wasn't that hard, but for some reason as she looked from the textbook, her notes, and her work...she couldn't find the answer. Fuck, she really hated Herbology and its fucking nonsense for what heals what and what harms another. Yeah, maybe, it was important, but that didn't mean she wanted to learn it. So she was stuck gripping the quill until it was threatened to almost break and her brown eyes glaring at the parchment as if it were a prisoner and her a guard and staring would get it to release its answers.

         She was given no luck with that, forcing her head up as she looked at the agitated boy in front of her with a scar along his nose as he itched his arm and looked around until his eyes met the clock. Remelda frowned, wanting to ask what was wrong but her eyes just went back to her own schoolwork. There was no way she would be able to find the answer herself, at least not as quickly as she wanted, so she looked up again at Remus and decided not to ask him what was wrong. It's not like he expected her to be a good person anyways, right?

         "Hey, Remus," his eyes snapped to her and away from the clock, "You mind helping with this? Because I absolutely cannot find where in hell you find which plant heals 'shallow wounds' or what they define as shallow wounds. Believe me, I've looked everywhere in my notes and the textbook but I can't for the life of me fi–"

         "Shut the hell up, Remelda," Remus snapped at her before she could finish her ramble.

         This caused the girl to sit up straighter with tenser muscles as she raised an eyebrow at him slightly. She had never heard him raise him snap, not like that. Not when unprovoked. Of course, it was the second time she had seen him like that. Cold eyes staring at her as he let that tone be directed towards her at the second table in the library. Though, unlike last time, she saw those cold eyes soften into guilt as Remus registered what he had said.

         "Shit," he swore, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

         "Of course you did, why else would you say that?" Remelda couldn't keep the coolness out of her tone.

         "No, no, no...shit, I'm so sorry, Remelda. I'll, I'll talk to you tomorrow or something, I just – I didn't mean for it to come out like that," Remus rambled, standing up and taking his book, rushing out of the library.

         Remelda, there, was left with her mouth agape as she tried to think of a reason as to why he would act that way. Yes, she could wait until the next day and let him explain, but she wasn't going to do that. Determined, she slammed her books shut, ignoring the dirty looks of her peers and the glare of the librarian as she walked out of the place with her head high. She was going to get her answers right then.

         As she reached the Gryffindor tower, she was stopped by her brother. "Remelda?" Sirius asked, eyes wide, "W-What are you doing here?"

         She frowned, hearing his stutter, "I have to speak to Remus. Now."

         "I don't think that's a good idea," he tried to smile, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "He's in a very bad mood and won't be able to speak to anyone for the rest of the night."

         "Well why not? I don't care if he's 'in a bad mood' I'm going to talk to him," Remelda said, not backing down.

         "You see, Mel, tonight's the fu – tonight's not a good night."

         "What were you going to say?" Remelda raised an eyebrow at her brother.

         "I haven't the slightest clue what you mean," he tried to feign innocent, but the look of 'I just screwed up' in his eyes gave him away.

         "About tonight. It's a fu...well, it must be a full moon, right?" Remelda took a step back from him, "I must've forgotten."

         "What? No, no. I, uh, I mean. How-how do you know it's a full moon tonight?" Sirius asked, alarmed.

         "I took Astronomy class last year, and I have Divination now," Remelda answered, "Right, I did my homework last week. Always say I dream of being mauled by a werewolf. The professor asked me once if I had a fear, of course I denied it. I don't see why this is such a big deal, though."

         Sirius didn't say anything, but at the same time he did. That's when it all began to click to her. The scar on Remus' nose, on his arms, how he was looking at the clock as if running out of time. She tried to think back to last time he snapped, when was it? Was it around another full moon? And the way her brother looked at her...it all made sense.

         "No," she muttered to herself before looking up, "He isn't – he can't. He's...he's a werewolf, isn't he?"

         "Remelda –"

         "No! How is, how is allowed to go here? Where does he go? Does Dumbledore know? Shit, of course he does. How long have you known?" Remelda questioned.

         "Remelda, I can't..." Sirius was at a loss for words, he couldn't say anything. "Remelda, you can't say anything. To anyone, understand?"

         "I can't listen to this," she shook her head, "I just, goodbye, Sirius."

         "Remelda, you can't say anything," Sirius looked at her before adding, "Please."

         "I won't," Remelda shook her head, "I just need time, though. Bye, Sirius."

         She gave him one last glance, seeing the pleading look on his face before turning away from him completely, walking away. She couldn't. Everything she was taught, the only words she heard were so cruel against werewolves. She didn't know what to think. Remus didn't seem like a cruel man, he was always so kind, but he was...he was a werewolf. He turned into a beast once a month. If one was to ask her mother, she would call Remus a monster.

         He was a monster. He was a werewolf. His kind were killers. They were all...they were all killers, weren't they? But Sirius stood by him. Sirius, her brother who couldn't kill a fucking spider was friends with Remus. He wouldn't befriend a killer, right? But he was a werewolf. Werewolves were killers, everyone knew that. Everyone was taught that. So Remelda didn't know what to think anymore, she had just found out that Remus fucking Lupin, this guy that made her feel this way she had never felt before, was a werewolf. She didn't like the revelation either. Fuck.

         Then she was there; the Slytherin basement. From the clock in the library, where she was maybe thirty minutes ago, it was probably ten around the time she got to the common room. Walking in, she noticed that there were three people still in the common room, seeing as the infamous Night Circle had disbanded. But there he still was, with Nancy and Severus by his side; Demetri.

         Seeing her there, Severus stood up immediately and left the common room while Nancy stayed with Demetri, placing a hand on his thigh as if claiming ownership over him. Remelda almost laughed at how petty the girl was.

         "Remelda," Demetri addressed her, the first word he had spoken to her since the news of her parents disowning her. His eyes flashed to the girl beside him, giving a smile, "Nancy, would you be so kind to give me a moment alone with Remelda?"

         Nancy looked at her before going back to him, "Fine." And she left the room as well.

         "You haven't been in the common room lately," he said, standing up from his place on the couch.

         "I've never really stayed in the common room," she resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "You just never noticed."

         "After Christmas you did."

         "Well I didn't really have any other place to hide out, did I? My brother's dead and there was no reason to stay in the library so long," Remelda said, eyes flashing with sadness at the mention of Regulus. She hadn't heard from him since their last meeting, which was for the best, but she still missed him dearly.

         "I see you've recovered from Regulus' death quite quickly," Demetri commented, "I thought you would be sadder."

         Well, if he actually was dead, she would be drowning in grief. But Regulus was very much alive, though Demetri didn't need to know that. No one did. "I don't see any point in mourning the dead, let them have peace," she said.

         "I don't understand that logic."

         "Well, you see, in Mexico they have this holiday call Day of Dead where they celebrate dead relatives instead of mourning them. It's said that mourning only causes the spirit to be unable to move on to the other side peacefully, therefore they don't mourn they celebrate," Remelda explained, "Which is what I'm doing; I'm honoring Regulus' memory by freeing myself. I'm celebrating, you could say."

         Demetri shook his head, changing the subject, "It's not too late. Your parents will accept you again if you just apologize."

         "I don't think you've met my parents," Remelda decided on saying, "They've already burned my face off from the family tree. They'll never forgive me, and it's not like I really want them too either."

         "I don't see why you're doing this, who was corrupted you, Remelda? Who was filled you with all these lies?"

         "My parents. You. Every damn person here in this house, Demetri," Remelda answered, "I know you don't want that answer. You want a Gryffindor boy I've fallen for or something else, but that's not the truth. I know what it's like now to have the freedom to choose what I wanted, not have something forced down my throat."

         "But blood purity, Remelda!"

         "But nothing, Demetri. Magic is a gift that should be shared with everyone. It's a gift that others should be allowed to experience, not just us," Remelda stressed, "And have you seen muggle inventions? It's almost like magic itself; their own, beautiful magic! If only you could see what I see."

         "I don't, and I'll never allow myself to be poisoned like you have," Demetri finalized.

         "Then I pity you," Remelda said, "I pity you because what I've experienced is amazing and I wish that you and everyone else here could see that. Could understand that. But since you won't allow yourself that, I pity you."

         "Don't pity me for being right."

         "No, I pity you for being wrong and not seeing that," Remelda finished, "Because I was like that once; I was once wrong. I pity my younger self for that and now I pity you."

         Remelda sighed, looking at him before saying her final words to him: "Have a nice life, Demetri. I hope one day you see the light, too."

         And her words could never be more sincere.

before any of you get on remelda for being like 'all werewolves are killers' please be reminded of who she grew up with and what the rest of the wizarding world thought of werewolves, thanks. im only trying to be more realistic with that okay.