— chapter five —
A BAD NIGHT

—

   "I HATE YOU."

    Those were the first three words to fall out of her lips when Remus Lupin sat down next to her again. Thankfully, they were far enough in the library that no one could see that and gossip about how she, Remelda Walburga Black, was sitting with a fucking Gryffindor boy. She knew that if her house got a whiff of this they would cast her out and send a letter to their parents explaining everything, only for her own mother to find out that he sat down next to her even though she didn't like him one bit.

    Remus chuckled though, like this was a joke to him. No, it wasn't a joke to her. With a back painted in scars from her own mother and the memories of feeling unimaginable pain forced upon her because of her own mistakes and the ones of her brothers, it wasn't a joke to her. In fact, it was the opposite. Merlin knows what her mother would do if she found out.

    "Then why aren't you storming out of the library?" he chuckled, "I'd imagine that you couldn't stand to sit next to me if you hate me as much as you say."

    She glared at him, the same infamous Black glare that sent shivers down spines and plagued fear into the minds of those who saw it. She could see Remus falter a little at it, and she smirked. "Aren't you the one who sat down next to me? Even though the library is quite large and there are plenty of other seats. I guess I could find another..."

    "But you know that I'll just follow you to the next one," he smiled cheekily. Remelda rolled her eyes in retaliation.

    "Yes, because you want to prove to me that Sirius is a great person and should be given my forgiveness," Remelda fired, "Well, Lupin, it's not going to happen."

    "Come on," he looked at her, "He has, and he justs wants to make amends with his siblings now. Can't you give him a chance?"

    "No," the word came from her mouth quickly after he asked her. She had no intention on forgiving Sirius for what he had done to her, the pain he conflicted on her.

    She remembered that once he told her, promised her, that he would always be there to protect her. He looked her sternly in the eyes and said that they (the parents) would never lay a finger on her, she would never spend a night tending to her own wounds like she had once done with Sirius.

    What a liar.

    And she had the audacity to believe him. With large doe eyes filled with innocence, she was naive enough to believe his words. Not now. Not again. Remelda had learned from her mistakes, and she wouldn't make them again.

    Remus sighed and look down, "Come on, please. You know that he wanted to ta-"

    "No, don't make an excuse for him. I won't hear it," Remelda cut him off, "Sirius had every chance to talk to Regulus and I. I understood during summer, not sending any letters - I understand that. But nothing else. Our parents aren't here - not at Hogwarts. He could've spoken to us, but he didn't. He didn't even look at me when I tried to speak to him, he just passed me by."

    She took a breath, calming herself, "You don't know what that's like. To have your own sibling take every promise he made and throw them out the window. Saying shit like he was always going to be there only to ignore you when school came 'round again. And now - and now he wants to be siblings again, like nothing happen.

    "Well, something did happen, Lupin, and I can't ignore that. He broke me, and I had to put myself back together. I won't make that same mistake again," Remelda finished, close to tears. She turned away from Remus, afraid that he would see how emotional she was.

    He didn't say anything, just looked at the broken girl in front of him. Sirius really did a number on her, and he couldn't just fix it with an apology and the flash of a smile. So, instead, he changed the course of the conversation. "Why are you here?"

    "What?" she asked him, confused. She hadn't the slightest clue as to what he meant by that, and she couldn't help but feel offended by it.

    "Why are you in the library?" he clarified, "I mean, before it was because of homework, but you haven't brought any today. So, why are you here?"

    The answer was simple; to escape Demetri. To escape Slytherin house. She didn't want him gloating about his latest kid he bullied into submission. She didn't want to hear other girls telling her how lucky she was to be marrying Demetri once school ended. She didn't want anything to do with the house. Even if she was much like the house traits, she hated it. She wished that she was braver, smarter, or kinder to be placed in another house, but the Sorting Hat told her that she belonged in Slytherin, nowhere else.

    "I just like it here," that wasn't an exact lie. Remelda did enjoy her time in the library. Well, she enjoyed most trips to the library. Lately, she had been seeing Remus, and that did put a damper on the experience.

    Remus just nodded at that information, even though it was clear that there was a deeper meaning. Remelda was glad he didn't push it anymore, she couldn't handle that. She couldn't handle anything anymore, not anything that included Gryffindor house or Remus Lupin. Not anything that included her (ex)brother.

    Remelda stood up, pushing in her chair and racing out of the library, not wanting to be anywhere near Remus or anyone in Gryffindor house at all. She kept running through the corridors until her small body ran into a bigger body.

    "Merlin, Melda, what's gotten into you?" she heard the deep voice of Alfie. Alfie. Her hero.

    "Nothing," she shook her head, taking his head and being lifted up off the ground. "I just - needed to get away."

    "From Demetri," she nodded, lying technically, and all he did was chuckle, "Come on, let's talk. I feel like it's been forever since we last spoke."

    It was true. Remelda had gotten so caught up in schoolwork, her (ex)brother trying to be siblings again, and Regulus being himself to think about Alfie. No matter how bad that sounded, it was the truth. She had just gotten too busy for friendships. Oh, and she forgot about the whole 'trying to become closer to Demetri' thing. Whoops, guess she better actually try some time.

    They continued to walk, neither saying anything until she broke the silence. "I just need to get away from everything," she spoke, "I feel like my head's going to explode with the amount of problems I'm having this year."

    "With school?" he raised an eyebrow. Remelda was quite good at school, always getting exceptional grades. She wasn't the smartest in the class, but she was smarter than the majority.

    Remelda shook her head, "With life. I've been trying to take more to Demetri, trying to find if there is any actual humanity in him, or if he's just an idiot I'm being married off to."

    Alfie nodded, "While, you said that he needed to get away from everything, how about we just run away together?"

    She let out a good laugh. That was hilarious. She hadn't laugh so hard in what felt like years (and probably was.) Her eyes turned to Alfie, who wasn't laughing at all. Immediately, the giggles stopped coming from her mouth.

    "Wait, you're joking, right? We couldn't possibly run away together, we would be found immediately," Remelda told him, but he shook his head.

    "No, we wouldn't. Come on, Melda, think about it. No more worrying about the future. No more drama, just us. We could go to Rome, or Greece, San Francisco - anywhere. You can't tell me that you've never thought about it before."

    She couldn't. She had dreamt of running away, beginning a new life without her parents or the pressure and torture they forced upon her. She thought about calling herself Hope, in that she would have it and never be found by anyone she once knew. She always thought she would find her Prince Charming whilst beginning her new life, and she would have children (one or two) running around and she would grow old and wrinkly with her husband by her side. There was no doubting anything about that. And they would never know about the life she once lived. They would never knew about Remelda Walburga Black because she would be Hope Andromeda White - the opposite of who she was at that moment.

    But there was one important thing that was never apart of her plan, and that was Alfie. She always dreamt of starting her life off with her brothers when she was much younger, or just Regulus in the more recent years. Alfie was never heard of in her plans, he would just be another name forgotten in her past life. So this...his plan didn't work for her. She wanted to run away, without him - not with him.

    "I can't," she uttered, "I can't, Alfie. I can't leave Regulus, he doesn't have anyone else left. I can't just leave him, I'm sorry."

    Alfie fumed at that but didn't snap. He had learned to control his anger after the many comments Demetri and the others made about his family - about him. About how Remelda could never like him, she wasn't in his league. She would always go for someone like Demetri first. So he bit his tongue and looked at her sharply, "Think about, alright?"

    It was threatening, but Remelda didn't feel harmed by Alfie. She only nodded and watched him storm off, allowing her to sigh and think about everything. She wanted to think about it, she did, but she couldn't. She could never imagine a future with Alfie, they weren't meant to be lovers, they were meant to be friends. Even if he believed otherwise.