— chapter two —
NOTHING TO ME

—

    THE LEAVING FOR Hogwarts was a cordial one. The Black family said nothing at the platform, only nodding their heads as Walburga installed more knowledge into her children's minds. Remelda let her eyes wonder during the lecture, finding its way to Sirius and the Potter family.

    She hated it. She hated her brother for leaving, the Potters' for taking him in, and everyone associated with them. They took her brother away, but she didn't care anymore. She couldn't care anymore. He made his choice and he had to live with it, but so did they. He might've made the choice, but he wasn't the only one having to live with it.

    Remelda felt the pain of his situation more than he did, probably. She felt the pain of being ignored by the one who protected her, she felt the pain he used to feel from their parents. Constantly, she was put in the position of having her back whipped or the Cruciatus Curse being plagued upon her. She felt that now, all because of him. She had to deal with comforting Regulus now, telling him lies until he figured it out on his own that Sirius wasn't coming back for them. He found another life away from them, and the two younger siblings had to learn to cope with that decision.

    He looked happy, she noted. The mother of the family was holding Sirius tight ("That's called a hug, Remy," the younger version of Sirius cheered) and he was smiling. James nudged him, her brother rolled his eyes, said something that caused them all to burst into laughter.

    "Remelda!" Walburga barked, causing her daughter to look at her, "Have you heard anything I've said?"

    "No, mother, I'm sorry," Remelda answered with politeness, "I was...distracted."

    "I can see," her mother sneered, "As I was telling Regulus, you must get in with the right crew. Now, I know that you aren't the people person, my dear, but you must get out of your shell and talk to Demetri – that is critical. You are to marry him, so you must become friends with his friends."

    Remelda nodded, resisting the urge to shrink up her nose in disgust, "Yes, mother."

    "Good," her mother turned her head up, "Now, you must be off. Go on."

    And there wasn't any more to be said. Remelda and Regulus walked off, boarding the train before nodding to each other and turning their different ways. While Regulus found himself at the front of the train, a place where only the most respected children of Slytherin families sat, Remelda went further back. It used to be that Sirius sat in the middle of the train, so the three siblings were split up perfectly amongst the train. But now, she tried not to think about that.

    Finding the cart with her best friend, Remelda opened up the door and sat down, sighing as she did. Alfie, her best friend, smiled at her.

    "Rough summer?" he asked, chuckling slightly. He was different from the others, Remelda knew. He wasn't uptight, he didn't try and force his views on the world into conversation, he listened.

    "You don't know the half of it," Remelda agreed. "My mother wants me to start talking to Demetri this year, or else."

    "Ah, he's your fiancé, right?" Alfie tried to recall, causing the Black girl to nod. "Well, good luck. You know he's probably off scaring the first years right now, trying to find out who's going to in Slytherin and 'better' than others."

    Remelda nodded, "Probably. Merlin, do I despise him. But, there's not really anything I can do."

    And that was the cold, hard truth. Remelda couldn't do anything in her life. She couldn't decide for herself who she wanted to marry, she couldn't decide if she wanted to be a Death Eater when she grew up, and she definitely couldn't decide what she wanted to do for her life. She always wanted to be a Healer. Remelda wanted to heal people, help them, not kill them. Maybe that was a foolish dream, something she never told anyone, but it was definitely a wish of hers.

    Remelda remembered the year before when she had to meet with Professor Slughorn to discuss her career of choice, something everyone had to do. She knew the answers of her housemates; powerful. No, they wouldn't say what they actually wanted, or what their parents were forcing them to do, they lied. She knew the lie was to work in the Ministry. That was the standard answer.

    She knew that she had to say that as well. At Christmas, her mother looked at her and told her that. She would work in the Ministry while committing herself to the Dark Lord, she would become whatever he wanted her to be. And she nodded then, knowing that was what would happen. She couldn't change that, not ever.

    But when that day approached, and her Potions teacher gave her a smile, asking in a jolly tone what she wanted to be, she had to tell him the truth. She told him she wanted to be a Healer, feeding her foolish wish, and asking him to never tell her parents. They didn't need to know, that would only lead to more pain for her.

    "Well, we could run away together," Alfie laughed, "Go to America, become Mr. and Mrs. Whatever and pretend to be muggles."

    Remelda laughed, fully laughed at that, "Yeah right. We don't have any money, your plan is a fail, Alf."

    He shrugged, "Well, did it cheer you up at least? You know that's what I'm here for."

    "It did," she nodded, "But I still can't stop thinking about the future – if I even have one."

    "Don't think like that, Mel," he shook his head, "You know what? I'm going to get some of those jelly beans from the trolley. Be back soon, my love."

    He sent her an air kiss, one that she returned. While she couldn't be her true self with him, she could be enough like who she actually was. And that's why she liked him enough to keep him around, her only friend besides her brother.

    Remelda took out her journal then. She loved her journal, a place where she could write everything she wanted to, something that no one else could read because of the enchantments she placed on it. As she was about to open it, the train cart opened again.

    She smiled, "That was fast. The trolley must have been close, yeah?"

    "Sorry, not your friend here," a voice spoke. Remelda looked up only to see four people she most definitely didn't like. And the one who stole her brother was speaking to her.

    "Get out," she spoke coldly, not daring to even spare a look at her brother as she spoke.

    "Aw, that's no way to speak," James smiled on, "Come on, Pads here just wants to talk to you."

    "Well I don't have anything to say to any of you, so get out," she spoke through gritted teeth, not wanting to actually lose her cool with them.

    "Look, Remy –"

    "Don't call me that," she glared at her brother, "You don't have the right to call me that anymore."

    He threw her a pained look, "Remelda, I just want to talk. Please, can I talk to you?"

    "No, you can't talk to me, Sirius," she said in a cool tone, "You could've years ago, but you didn't. So now, you can't. Just get out, I don't want to be seen with such trash like you."

    "Trash?" James exclaimed, "Mates, did she just call us trash? I'll have you know, missy, we are not trash."

    Remelda smiled wickedly at him, "Why? Because you're the Marauders? That doesn't matter, after you graduate, that name won't matter."

    The Potter boy rolled his eyes, about to respond before Sirius threw him a look. "Remelda, please, I just want to fix my mistakes. Can you allow me to do that?" Sirius pleaded.

    "No," she stared at him, "You can't. You made your choice, and now you have to leave with it. Don't speak to me or Regulus ever again – don't even come near us – unless you want to be hexed."

    "That doesn't scare me, Remelda," Sirius tried to joke, but one look from her shut him up.

    "How about this," she smirked, "You're no longer a part of the family. Isn't that what you wanted? To not be a Black? Well, congratulations, you've succeeded. And now you're just the scum under our shoes. So, here you have it, the truth. I no longer love you, I don't want anything to do with you. You aren't my brother anymore, I don't have an older sibling. You have no claim to Regulus and I, so just leave us alone."

    Sirius gulped, sadness pooling inside him as he looked at her. She had changed so much from that doe-eyed, innocent looking girl that was his sister. She had changed, that innocent look changing to stone, that sparkle that he used to love no longer there. It was as if she was a void of everything now, and he couldn't help but feel like it was all his fault. So, all he did was nod, gathering his friends and leaving.

    And it was then that Alfie returned with the jelly beans, looking confused as he sat down. "What were they doing here?"

    "They were trying to talk to me," Remelda answered, grabbing a jelly bean, "I didn't let them." She scrunched up her nose at the taste of blood, "This is disgusting."

    "That's the point," Alfie chuckled, "And good, you shouldn't talk to them."

    "Why do you say that?" Remelda looked at him, "I thought you were less prejudice than the others."

    "I am," he nodded, "What are you trying to do? Don't tell me that you still care for him."

    "I don't," she shook her head, "Sirius no longer means anything to me. He's just a bad memory."

    She turned down, opening her journal before writing in it, missing the smirk on Alfie's face as he recalled everything she had just said, loving it. He had a plan for them, a better plan, and this was just the starting of it.