A/N: Consistent verb tense? We don't know her.

"Good mornin', shithead!"

Katsuki screeches as his mother throws open his bedroom curtains, the blinding light of the sun stinging his eyes as he ducks beneath the blankets in an attempt to escape. Mitsuki is practically cackling at his expense, barely dodging the pillow being hurled in her direction as the hungover omega laments his broken slumber with a groan.

"It's fuckin' three o'clock in the afternoon, ya lazy shit—get up. What, did Izuku wreck you that bad that you need an entire day to recuperate?"

"Don't say gross shit like that, you hag!" The younger blonde hisses as he sits upright in bed, hair a disheveled mess and face as red as a baboon's ass as he's overcome by embarrassment—a decision that he regrets almost immediately when an incoming migraine slams into him like a freight train. He falls back against the pillows as the room begins to spin, groaning in agony as his stomach continues to churn. His mouth tastes like barbecue sauce, fire, and bad decisions.

Mitsuki chuckles again, tossing a bottle of Tylenol at him from her spot against the doorframe. Katsuki can't help but think that she's enjoying this a little too much for comfort. "I'm making lunch and then I'm headed out for work. Wash your ass and then come downstairs to eat with me." She insists.

Katsuki grunts in affirmation and the door closes behind Mitsuki as she leaves him to his own devices. He considers going back to sleep again but he knows all too well that Mitsuki will only come back to nag him if he does, so he takes two of the Tylenol and swallows them dry before dragging himself into the adjoining bathroom where he chases the pills with cool water from the sink faucet.

He can hear his phone vibrating against his nightstand in the distance and mutely wonders who it is. He figures that it is most likely Eijirou but he also remembers giving his number out to a hefty handful of his old classmates last night. He's a bit fuzzy on which ones. So much of last night is a blur.

He vaguely remembers dancing to Cardi B with Mina. He also vaguely remembers being held down and force-fed beer by Denki and Eijirou. Most of his memories are of Izuku's brilliant smile.

So annoying.

"God, you look a hot fuckin' mess." He says to himself as he scrutinizes himself in the mirror. He hasn't partied that hard since the graduation party his parents threw for him after high school graduation.

"Holy shit, is that a hickey?!" 

It is. Right at the base of his neck.

He wonders minutely if he got it from Izuku but no—he doesn't remember making out with the shitty nerd or even being close enough for him to just suck a fuckin' bruise onto his neck without Katsuki noticing.

He sighs. He doesn't have the energy for this.

#

The hot water does wonders for Katsuki,  invigorating him and helping him feel...a whole lot less like a walking garbage can. His stomach growls as he trots into the kitchen and smells the delicious lunch that his mother is making; he's rather excited about it.

Until he sees Izuku sitting at the kitchen table.

He's not even wearing a shirt, covered in white paint from fluffy head to toe as he waits his turn to be served. There's a damp towel resting around his neck as he drinks from a tall glass of lemonade—courtesy of Mitsuki, of course. Katsuki is helpless to do little more than watch it drip from the corners of his mouth and down his neck and...down his toned, muscled, chiseled torso—

The blonde feels his mouth go dry.

He hurriedly fixes himself as green eyes flicker towards him and Deku leans back in his chair, legs splayed out before him. "Oh. Wassup Kacchan?" He greets, clearly feigning boredom. Katsuki swallows around the lump in his throat, brows scrunched together in distaste as he sits as far away from Izuku as he can.

"Deku. Why are you in my house?"

"Rude, little fucker. I'm painting the house and doing lawn work for your mom."

"Doesn't explain why your massive ass is sitting at my kitchen table instead of, I dunno, actually painting the house and doing yard work?"

"Cause fuck you, that's why."

"You gettin' paid for this?"

"No, you cretin."

"Cause she's paying you with food."

The room is flooded with a rather telling silence but it is short-lived as Deku—the bastard—flings an ice cube at Katsuki's head. "Hey!"

"Shut up and eat, dipass."

Katsuki's skin feels hot and he wonders if he may still be asleep because only in the most fucked up of nightmares would he be getting turned on by a shitty nerd like Deku telling him what to do. He stabs at the spicy noodles in his bowl a lot more aggressively than he intended to, artfully flipping the alpha off in the process.

"Alright, I'm gonna head out before I'm late. Katsuki, you're gonna help him finish the yard work so that he can finish painting the house tonight. I don't want him to spend several days on this if he doesn't have to." Mitsuki demands and Katsuki's face sours in objection but they're both aware that he's going to do as he's told regardless of how much he bitches about it in the process.

Izuku plays up his dumbass 'heartthrob' smile like he tends to do when he's trying to be charming. "Mitsuki, I told you that I didn't mind. I'm halfway done already." He reiterates but she continues to insist anyway and Deku ultimately relents, accepting the kiss pressed against his temple as Mitsuki makes her way out. Katsuki feels a little...put off by it.

And by put off, he means hella salty because why did Deku get a kiss and he didn't?

Granted, he'd normally blow up at her for displaying such affections in front of his friends eight years ago but he's old enough to admit that he's jealous. He's not gonna get shown up by Izuku in his own house.

The alpha just sits there, staring at him like he's got three heads on his shoulders until Katsuki looks back up at him again.

"The fuck are you looking at, nerd?"

"Says the guy with a college degree."

"It's not my fault you chose to be stupid!"

"I dunno, my life seems to have turned out just fine. Glad you've got a nice sheet of paper that says you're smart though."

Since when did Deku get so fucking cocky? It's so jarring that Katsuki minutely finds himself wanting that scrawny, nerdy little punk to come back and take this Izuku's place but in the same breath, he loathes to find that it is incredibly attractive.

Admittedly, Katsuki has been giving him a hard time but to be honest, Deku hasn't actually been all that bad since his return to Texas. He's been teasing Katsuki but it's been relatively playful—not at all spiteful like he assumed it would be. He's been really helpful around the house and he doesn't even flinch whenever Katsuki's explosive attitude begins to rear its head.

The only one of them that seems to be holding on to the past is Katsuki—and he's kinda being a pain in the ass about it. Ugh, he can't believe he's even thinking it but maybe he can be...nicer? To Deku?

"That isn't a jab at you, though. We're all actually really proud of you. Not a lot of us made it to college after graduation and those of us that did...well, it didn't take long for them to drop out after."  Midoriya adds, a thoughtful expression settled upon his face. "If I'm not mistaken, Shinsou, Momo, Inasa and yourself are the only ones who managed to graduate, but you're the only one who managed to get their Master's degree." His eyes flicker back at Katsuki and, for the first time since they've seen each other, he offers the omega a genuine smile—not that smarmy little smirk that he's always sporting.

"Kinda makes you more of our hometown hero than I am, doesn't it?"

Katsuki didn't know how to respond. He  was fully expecting to get some sort of snide comment wedged in there but even as he sits there in silence, it never comes. He had been prepared to tell Izuku to fuck off and shut his mouth but now he didn't actually have anything...relevant to say? It registers that Izuku is giving him a compliment and he can only keep his gaze down at the table to avoid embarrassing himself.

"You...gave me a compliment."

"Mm? I mean, yeah. I've kind of been giving you compliments this entire time. Is there something wrong with that."

Yes.

Deku was supposed to be an ugly and  resentful asshole—not some hot, sexy cinnamon roll bastard. Why did he have to grow up and not hold a grudge? Why does he want to be so friendly? It'd be so much easier for them to just keep hating each other.

"Yes. I mean...no? It's just that I was expecting for you to insult me whenever you got the chance to after all this time..."

Izuku seemed genuinely surprised by such an accusation, eyes wide and mouth gaping as his brows kiss his hairline.

"What? Why would I do something like that? I've never been that type of guy."

"You've also never been the type to curse and drink and flirt and be a stupid cocky jock but here you are."

There's a pause and Izuku looks like he can't figure out what it is that he wants to say but after a moment his expression dissolves and a laugh bubbles up from his chest in a way that sends tingles up Katsuki's spine.

"Wait a second. Is this about how much of a prick you were in high school? Come the fuck on, Kacchan. Who holds a grudge for that long?"

Katsuki. Katsuki did.

"Besides, I already knew that you were going through your fair share of bullshit. It shocked everyone after you presented as an omega. I can only imagine that it hit you the hardest. You had dreams and you lost them because of something that you had no control over. You were always shit at feelings so you didn't know how to talk about them. And you didn't trust your friends anymore because you felt like we all looked down on you. Especially me."

There's a knowing look in Izuku's eyes and Katsuki kind of wants to punch him in the face for calling him out like that but he allows him to continue nonetheless.

"Then I presented as an alpha and you began to dodge me altogether. Ended up developing a nasty alpha complex that completely warped your perception of what alphas were really like. Even so, Kirishima was somehow able to get on level ground with you and you've trusted him more than any of us. Can't lie and say that I wasn't even a little bit jealous but I digress."

He stood, like he was in his own goddamn house and not Katsuki's, and took both of their dishes to the sink. Katsuki hadn't even realized that he was watching him until Izuku met his gaze again with a smirk.

"My point is that I never hated you, Katsuki. If anything, I looked up to you even more than I looked up to All Might. Getting close to him didn't really seem like a reality for me but you—our strong and amazing Kacchan? You were right there within my reach. And since you couldn't follow your dream to be a Pro, I made it my mission to do it for you. I was never looking down on you. I just wanted you to see me."

Katsuki blinked. "You mean that?"

"Fuck would I lie for?"

He wants to yell at him about his boorish-ness but he can't—not after all that he's just said. Instead he just clears his throat and mumbles a "T-Thanks, I guess." Izuku smiles as he makes his way down the hall and to the back door.

"Anytime. Now, you gonna help me paint or are you just gonna sit in here and watch me from the window like the little princess you are?"

And just like that, the moment has passed.

Katsuki rolls his eyes.

"You don't have to bait me, asshole, just tell me you want some company."

But he complies despite himself.

#

Katsuki had never been so exhausted in his entire life. He would have to have a serious talk with his father about investing in a riding mower; their yard was much too big for the one that they have now and he does not have the upper body strength that it requires to push the raggedy thing around. The stifling heat wasn't making it any easier for him, either. You'd think that he'd be just fine in higher temperatures after spending eight long years in California (which was basically Hell if you squinted hard enough) but performing physical labor in that heavy Texas heat was a different beast altogether.

He's never had to do lawn work before. Call him a spoiled child.

"You look like you're about to drop dead." Izuku tells him from his ladder as he climbs down. Katsuki just glares at him from his position hunched over the lawnmower in an attempt to catch his breath.

"Fuck you." He pants out.

Izuku looks around with scrutinizing eyes, kneeling down to feel at the grass with his hand before standing again with a thoughtful hum. "Not bad. Could be better, but it'll suffice."

"Fuck you." Katsuki reiterated, shoving the lawnmower away from himself and plopping down into the freshly cut grass. Deku just shakes his head at him, albeit with a smile. "You know that you wouldn't be so tired if you'd have just taken your time, right? You don't have to rush everything; it's not a race."

"And spend a hundred years on a simple job like you're doing?"

"It would've taken me ten minutes to cut the lawn. Your tiny little twink butt has been out here struggling for three hours."

Katsuki wheezed at being called a twink and he'd get up and put his foot in Izuku's ass if they didn't burn like the wrath of one million suns.

"Fuck you, bitch, I'm not a fuckin' twink! And instead of fuckin' judging me, you could be finishing up your shitty paint job!"

His arm swung out to punch Izuku's exposed shin as the alpha laughed at his expense but he didn't even respond to it aside from the snorting giggles that bubbled out of him.

"Sorry, did I hit a nerve? Besides, I ran out of paint. We've gotta go get more."

"You always use the word we. I don't want to go do anything; I feel gross."

Izuku sighed like a parent dealing with a spoiled child. He should be use to dealing with Katsuki's bratty attitude by now but his patience wears just a little bit thinner every time he has to confront it.

"Kacchan. Get in the fuckin' car."

"What happens if I say no?"

"Sass me and find out."

He'll more likely then not be dragged and shoved in against his will.

"What happens if I say 'fuck you, shitty Deku'?"

"You get an hour in the time out corner."

"Both of those sound gross."

"You've got ten seconds. Ten."

"Nine."

"Eight."

"Bitch, seven."

His laugh twists into a high pitched squeak when he's hoisted up and tossed over Izuku's shoulder and hauled over to his car.

"Goddammit, Deku, put me down!" He's still laughing, he can't stop.

"You had your chance to use your own legs, you little smartass." But Izuku's laughing too and it feels pretty good to not be at each other's throats for once.

#

The ride over to the hardware store was spent blasting loud hip hop music as Deku bounced around in his seat and recited the lyrics. Katsuki didn't even try to hide how hilarious he thought it was to watch his childhood friend karaoke to gangster rap. Never in a million years would he have taken him to be the type to listen to Jay-Z or Nas, but he certainly was getting an eye full of it now.

"You know, I met Jay-Z at one of my matches a few years back. He's a pretty fun guy to hang out with. I think his wife is actually from Texas, too."

"So you just casually hang out with celebrities now? And literally everyone knows that Beyoncé is from Texas. She's Beyoncé."

"I know it's hard to process, Kacchan, but I am a celebrity now." Izuku says as he pulls into an empty parking spot. Katsuki won't admit that he actually does forget that Deku is a celebrity, even with the hundreds of billboards posted around California that he was forced to look at on his morning and evening commutes. He's never even actually watched one of his matches before, mostly out of spite.

"Don't let that ego inflate your big ass head any more than it already is." He retaliates, shoving the door open before Deku could open it for him like he knew he would and dragging himself inside because, honestly, he needed a fucking nap.

"Welcome to Polly's Paints—hey, it's Kat!"

Ochako came bounding around the corner to hug him when he straight-arm's her rather roughly. "I smell like fifty gallons of ass right now—don't hug me." Her face scrunches at him and she pulls her arms back to her side when she realizes that he is drenched in sweat.

"Hellooo, I'm here too. What am I, chopped liver?"

Izuku actually looks a bit offended at being left out of her greeting but she fans away at him dismissively. "Come on, Deku. You got all of my love when you came home. Let Katsuki have some attention, too."

Izuku just sucks his teeth at her and lumbers over to a shelf with familiarity, looking through buckets of paint with a pout on his face.

"You didn't get my text this morning?" Ochako asked Katsuki. "I haven't even checked my phone today; I've been helping the nerd since my mom dragged my ass out of bed." He said, taking his phone from his pocket to see that it was practically overloading with notifactions. The first was from Ochako this morning but the rest were all from the self proclaimed Bakusquad on his Snapchat.

No wait. Not just them.

From Kyouka, Rikido, and Tsu too.

And Fumikage?

"What the fuck happened last night for these losers to be blowing my damn notifactions up?" He asks no one in particular, brows pinched together in a cocktail of confusion and curiosity. Ochako's snorting laughter tears his gaze away from his phone screen.

"You mean you don't remember the absolute tease of a show that you put on last night?"

The look on Katsuki's face must have really been something because Ochako damn near collapsed in her laughter as heat radiated to the tips of his ears.

"No the fuck I did not—"

"You did! Mina even got a lap dance!"

Katsuki feels his heart skip a beat as he quickly taps on the first notification with shaking hands and for a moment, all that he sees is a black screen. The cacophony of cheers and wolf whistles does not bode well as Rihanna's Pour It Up plays at a near deafening tone.

Cue Katsuki twirling his ass around like he's some sort of stripper.

His stomach turns as he's overwhelmed by embarrassment.

"This—This is all over fucking Snapchat on literally everyone's story! What the fuck?!"

Ochako is on the floor with her laughing fit now and costumers begin eyeing her like they may suspect that she's on some sort of drug until they hear Izuku laughing just as loudly as he peeks his head from around the corner.

"Is that the video from last night?"

"Yes! He only saw it just now!"

Katsuki's horror continues to grow as he watches his drunk self straddle Mina in a lawn chair and grind against her before turning around and bouncing in her lap. Ochako and Eijiro don't fail to instigate in the background.

'His waist is so tiny; no wonder he's so good at this!'

'Gyatdayum, I didn't know he could dance like that!'

'Throw that ass in a circle!'

The blonde quickly closes out of the app and hides his face in his hands once he sees Mina put loose bills in the waistband of his drunk-self's jeans. He seriously considers throwing his phone or deleting his social media altogether but it wouldn't make a difference because EVERYONE has already seen it.

"You do it better than a lot of professional strippers—teach me how to do that. Mines just kind of flops whenever I try." Ochako giggles after she manages to calm her breathing, playfully smacking him against his bicep. Blushing, he shoves away at her halfheartedly.

He's never going to live this down.

"It's not my fault that your ass is flat."

"Hey!"

Tenya pokes his head from around the corner at this, pausing in whatever task he's engaged in to defend his wife. "My wife has a very voluptuous and curvy figure, thank you! Her backside assets are fine just the way they are!"

"Nobody asked you, Glasses!"

His phone dings with another notification and Katsuki clicks the lock button in order to illuminate the screen.

Facebook:
Izuku Midoriya sent you a friend request!

Bourbon eyes flicker up from the screen to meet Izuku's smug face. "Accept it." The alpha says.

"Why? What did you do?"

"Accept it and you'll find out."

Skeptical, Katsuki hits the accept button and instantly receives another notification.

Facebook:
Izuku tagged you in a post!

"You fucking didn't. Please...for fuck's sake...tell me that you did not."

He taps it and has to resist the urge to throw his phone at the alpha's head as 'Pour It Up' starts to play all over again. Izuku almost drops a bucket of paint onto his foot in his struggle to contain his laughter.

"You absolute fucker."

"Welcome home!"

Tenya ends up having to come collect his wife from the floor as she nearly passes out from a lack of oxygen due to excessive laughter.

#

Katsuki sat on the porch with a glass of lemonade, refusing to help Izuku paint the rest of the house after posting that stupid video onto his Facebook page for the world to see. The alpha tells him that he doesn't actually need his help anyway, so Katsuki ultimately decides on splashing the ice cold remainder of his drink onto his naked chest just to watch him shriek and nearly come tumbling down the ladder.

His phone won't stop dinging with those damn Facebook notifications and after a half an hour of trying to ignore them in favor of playing 8ball, he decides to atleast turn the notifications for the stupid post off.

When Facebook opens, he's greeted by the video and a tab that tells him that it's been viewed 25k times, shared 18k times, and collected a total of 38k comments. Curious, he hits the refresh tab and starts at the very first handful of comments...

Which all happen to be his friends.

Hanta: Whew chile

Denki: SLAY QUEEN

Mei: Baby got baaaack!

Eijirou: You're lucky that this is worth the laugh cause Kat is gonna kill us all when he sees this. 😂

Kyouka: Why's he so good at everything? How tf is this fair?

Fumikage: 10/10

Tsuyu: ^ word.

Ochako: THIQQ

Tenya: Not fond of the music but you receive an A+ for performance.

Mashirao: Nice, Bakugou

Momo: I can't even two step without looking like a limp noodle.

Shouto: Wow.

Mina: Wait, this happened?! Omg, I'm mad asf that I don't even remember the best thing to ever happen to me!

Eijirou: MINA I'M YOUR MAN 🥺

Mina: @Eijirou oh yeah, right.

It doesn't take long for the thread of familiar faces to fade into obscurity. Izuku's fanbase seems to be rather interested in watching Katsuki make a fool of himself.

Misha: Cutie wit a booty

Nina: Is this a romance I see? 👀

Kyouka: Welp, the fans are here. Time for everybody clear out.

Tsuyu: Our notifs are gonna implode.

Zoe: @Nina Izu is straight. Clearly.

Izuku Midoriya: I never said that.

Nina: IS THIS ROMANCE I SEE 👀

Minoru: Ladies, just so y'all know, I'm Izuku's main man. Also single. Love long walks on the beach.

Mei: This post is for Izuku's friends, not his thirsty ass fan club. Begone.

Fran: @Mei fuck you

Fran: @Nina stop making everything gay! You always try to ship real people!

Mei: What are you, twelve? You're not even old enough to be on Facebook!Don't make me take my belt off!

Fran: @Child Protective Services

Shouto: y'all need Jesus.

Mashirao: Izuku, your fans are wild.

Izuku: What? I thought it was funny.

Which quickly escalates to random weirdos...admiring...Katsuki's assets a little too openly for his comfort.

Kyle: That's the best ass I've ever seen.

Katsuki: Would you fuckers quit arguing already?

Chelsea: Rude, bitch.

Denki: YEET

Troy: I bet you look pretty on your knees @Katsuki

Fumikage: The night is dark and full of horrors.

Hanta: And every day we stray further away from the light.

Ricky: @Katsuki come fw a real Alpha. I'll eat you out real nice.

Izuku: Yo, Dicky. Gobble a Rhinoceros cock.

Shouto: When are you going to make this account private, already? This is becoming increasingly bothersome.

Judy: Izu, where are you 😍

Misha: You're a real cutie. Give us the deets! Are you Deku's bf??? @Katsuki

Eijirou: Katsuki and Izuku aren't dating.

Hanta: *yet

Eijirou: It's rude to pry in people's private lives, especially when you don't know them.

Chelsea: @Eijirou who asked you, you NOBODY

Mina: @Chelsea watch your whore mouth.

Momo: She's not worth it, Mina, just leave it.

Jacob: DM me Katsuki, I want a lap dance too bby 😍💦

Kyle: Ima beat off to this religiously

Shouto: I'm bout to turn off my phone

Lucy: Where's your video, Izu? Show us what your mama gave you!

Tsuyu: this post is so dead

And all at once Katsuki receives a shit ton of DM requests.

All of which are disgusting, but no one's saying anything ugly to him so he can't say he's gonna complain about it.

He'll just have to keep this in mind so that he can pay Izuku back in kind later on.