Sleeping wasn't a thing that night as the thought of finally seeing Viki replayed in my mind. It wasn't as bright as I wanted it to be and I'm not as happy as I should have been.

Is it because she doesn't remember me? Or is it because she has a girlfriend? Why did it have to end up this way?! I should have been the one to get hit... Viki doesn't deserve this.

My body remained in the fetal position for the longest time, tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep. I had work in the morning and I didn't want another face-in-the-pizza incident. However... I won't be able to sleep at all at this rate!

So, I tumbled out of bed and made my way to Viki- I mean, Monika's room. The summer night was silent except for the occasional cricket chirp and lone car. It's always cooler at night, like the desert. My hands traced along the wall to prevent myself from tripping over my own feet. When I reached her door, I witnessed a trail of light leaking from her cracked door. I would have knocked, but she was preoccupied with something that I couldn't look away from.

She was sitting on the bed with her phone in her hands. Something wasn't right, the way she sat with her back against the wall was startling. Its like she was about to reach for something, but was hesitant to touch it.

"I already know this..." her words were almost silent, "I know I'm too masculine. You have to try better than that to bully me."

Even though she appeared unaffected, there were tears rolling down her face.

"Why... why are you calling me trans? I'm a girl, I just like to work out. I'm not a body builder... don't call me that," she must have been reacting to hate comments on some social media account.

I hope it's not Facebook or Tumblr. Especially Facebook, I hate the perverted trolls that bullied my sorella.

"How many times will you call me trans? 'Slut, attention whore.' 'I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.'  'Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.'  Now you're just calling me a lesbian... which is sorta true. Heh, their insults are weak today..." Monika was so distressed, I could tell.

I wanted to toss her phone across the room and give her a big hug... but we just met. I don't want to scare her off so quickly. Plus, not everyone likes to be tackled by all this Italian sexiness. On the other hand, she really needs a hug and external support. This doesn't look like the first time this has happened.

Her face fell when her eyes settled on something. Her hands shook, he lip quivered, her breathing differed. Luckily, she read it aloud and I could analyze it.

"You look like a masculine barbie doll: meaty and fake. There's no way you can stay in shape with that breast size! I bet men hate you for trying to imitate them, you look trans! No one even likes you or your shitty page. Go die in the dark where you belong!" Monika's words wavered as the tears flowed at a steady pace. Her left hand was pressed on her right wrist, twisting and tugging on my white bandana.

I couldn't just stand there anymore, seeing her like that was hurting me! With a swift motion, I tossed her phone across the bed and engulfed her in a long awaited warm embrace. She just sat there, staring off into space. I could only imagine what other insults she had been receiving.

"Monika, why didn't you tell anyone about this?" I whispered into her ear.

She remained still.

"It's none of your business," her voice was colder than I remember.

"Yes, it is! As my house guest, I have a right to know what's going on with you!"

Nice save, Feliciana, nice save.

"Feliciana... please. I just want to be alone," there was something in her tone that I couldn't describe. Something that shouldn't be there.

I wanted to hold her like this until morning arrived, I wanted to kiss her tears away and tell her how I feel, I just want her to realize who I am. But for now... I have to respect her space.

Yeah, like that's going to happen.

"I know what it's like to be alone and I know that you really just want someone to be there with you! You may be tough on the outside, but I know that you're crying on the inside! Please, Monika, at least let me hold you a little longer," the words gushed out like a faucet.

My body expected to be pushed away... but it only felt tighter. Her comforting arms placed themselves around me as warm tears rolled down my shoulder. I managed to lean over and turn off the lamp, making the room succumb to the overwhelming darkness.

"Feliciana?" She spoke though quiet sobs, "We only met earlier today, why are you so nice to me?"

Without hesitation, I answered, "I can't bare to see such a pretty bella cry. It pains me too!"

There in the dark of night, she revealed her softer side to me. Monika lifted her head so I could wipe her tears away. For what seemed all of eternity, my hands caressed her pudgy cheeks. She's still so cute like she was back then... so soft and gentle. It took real strength to keep myself from kissing her. My heart was beyond racing, thumping out of my chest was more like it.

"It's going to be alright, Monika. I can help deal with those trolls. I've done it before with my sorella, I can be pretty scary when I want to be," I offered with a smile.

She giggled and grinned, taking me to an unwanted placed called nostalgia. Now I wanted to cry. When she let me go, I felt empty once again.

"Danke..." A softer expression returned to her.

Anything, for you...

"That's what friends are for!" The shade covered for my naive tears while a pained smile accompanied my lips.

* * *

The next morning, I awoke to something squishy. My pillow was also more firm than usual. It must have been early morning since the first glitters of sunlight started to sprinkle through the transparent curtains. My warm slumber called to me, I'm getting up later today.

My hand formed around the squishy object once more. I finally opened my eyes to realize what I was laying on... along with what I was squeezing.

Monika... she has D cups. Holy crapola! They're perfect! I was settling on B cups, now I have glorious mountains to rest my head upon. They. Are. So. Squishy! Mmm, she smells like cake. Strawberry cake~

However, I was so caught up in my perverted session that my sensors didn't detect her movements.

"What are jou doing? Its like..." she leaned over to check the alarm clock, "Five in zhe morning."

I pulled myself from squishy heaven to try to come up with an excuse. Although, nothing comes to mind. I don't think I can save myself this time.

"Uh... it's not-a what it looks-a like..." What a lame excuse that was. My cheeks are flaring red with embarrassment.

I expected her to throw me out of the room, but she didn't. Monika only chuckled at my actions and tussled my messy auburn hair. My body was halfway on top of her since I was too lazy to sit up.

"You're not-a mad at me?" I moved my hands away from her chest.

She shook her head, "Sakura told me that jou can be touchy. Plus, mien sister does zhis to me all zhe time..."

Her accent slips when she's sleepy! It's so cute! Ve~ I just wanna snuggle her.

"Monika~" I whined, "Can I stay-a and sleep with-a you? You're comfy." My body wanted to venture into her wondrous mountains once again.

I gave her my never-failing Italian charm and stared into her eyes. A few seconds later and I left her blushing. Her eyes wandered the room to avoid my trancing ones.

"Okay, okay! Jou can stay if jou want. Just... sleep back-to-back," she proceeded to turn over.

"But you're comfy~! Please? Come back. Per favore, bella? Sei così carino e morbido~" I whined/requested.

She moaned, "English."

"Please, beautiful? You're so cute and soft~" I repeated with more feeling.

I thought she ignored me, we still only met a day ago. Monika might have been creeped out from my closeness. Should I have waited longer to be close to her? But I've waited long enough! Ah, Viki isn't here at the moment. She's somewhere, lost in Monika's thoughts. I just have to joggle her memory--

She rolled over with a flushed face, "Are all Italians zhis persuasive?"

"Only the cute ones like-a me!" I winked before succumbing to her warmth.

When I returned to my cavern, I swear that she smiled. I heard her smile. We may have just met, but no one can resist my charm! I'm glad that she's not crying anymore. Even if it's for this moment, I wanted her to forget the hurtful things she encountered last night. She's so much more than the labels that people give her, I know that she's more than that. She just hasn't realized it yet.

"Don't jou have work today?" She sighed.

"I'll say I overslept," I mumbled.

"Do jou always come into work late?"

"Not always... mostly though."

"How do you still work there then? You would have been fired by now."

"My sorella's boss is in love with her and she adores me. Plus, I'm great with customers."

"Where do you work?"

"At a pizzaria, it's pretty fun working there. Luckily, I still get to take a seista on my break~" I smiled at her as she shifted her weight, "What do you do for work?"

"I'm a Fitness instructor, but I mostly teach Aerobics. I do yoga classes on my off days."

"Ve~ No wonder you're so fit! I'm too lazy to do all that."

"You should come to one of my yoga classes, I'm more calm during them," her voice trailed off as she succumbed back into her tinder slumber.

A soft giggle escaped me as she revealed that peaceful face that I fell in love with. Monika's eyelids fluttered closed like they did in the snow. One expression. Just one time-stopping expression brought forth the unwanted nostalgia. With all my willpower, I laid back down. The only thing my body wanted to do was kiss her, hold her, make her mine.

I've waited so long for this moment, she's right here beside me. But Monika... if she doesn't remember who she was or the feelings she had... then what have I been wasting my life for?

*   *   *

"Your shift started an hour ago, where the fuck have you been!?" A feisty voice rang from the kitchen.

"Buongiorno, Lovina~" I chimed to my sister, "I see that you're in a good mood."

"Don't give me that smiley shit, where have you been!? We've been fucking swamped with customers! Let alone the fact that you're so damn popular around here," she kept her hands on her hips as I clocked in. We moved our conversation to the back room so I could change.

"I slept in a little later than usual, I was so tired!" I exaggerated. I couldn't tell her about Monika, Lovina already has a grudge against Viki for leaving me.

"I swear that you're fucking nocturnal. Now get your little Italian ass over here and help me make the dough!" Her was on a roll today.

"Aye aye, captain!" I followed.

The bustling sound of hungry customers, the roaring of the pizza ovens, the clanking of dirty dishes, and the small chit-chat of orders being taken. These were the sounds that I came to love. It's fun doing what you love, especially with my sorella.

When some of our other employees changed shifts, my favorite task called me. Waiting tables. Some people rather not do it, but I love it! I love meeting the people and getting tips. Let alone the fact that our work attire looks like a maid outfit.

Sorella was right, I am pretty popular around here. Half of the customers ask for me to be their waitress and the other half comes to see me. I think I won over their hearts with my Italian charm. I must remember to find that off switch...

"Welcome to Carmen's Authentic Pizza! What'll it be today? Ooh! Have you heard of our specials?" I recited with a smile to one of my favorite customers.

As the day went on, tables were cleared and dishes were sent out. Sorella managed to cut down her swearing spree for the younger customers attending the lobby. Carmen came out to check on the customers that have been waiting for a while to apologize and entertain. She was gorgeous as usual with her silky brown hair tied up in a bun, her tomato red lipstick, and her forest green eyes. She even wore the maid-like attire out on the floor. Carmen was good at winning over customers with her Spanish accent, she was an attractive woman after all.

* * *

"I'm home~!" I called out to whoever might be here.

However, I didn't hear anyone call back.

"Sakura? Monika? I brought home some pizza~ Will I have to eat it all by myself?" I called once again, taking off my shoes.

Still, nothing.

"Okay then, more for me," I set the pizza box down on the kitchen table and took a deep breath.

Then, I noticed that Monika's shoes were at the door, meaning that she was here. Due to my urgent curiosity, I had to find out where she was. Calling out proved to be usless, so the only option was to look for her. I was foolish to not get her number when we first met. I checked her room, my room, Sakura's room, the bathroom-- wait.

There on the sink was my bandana, hanging off the edge. I lifted the small white cloth to inspect for clues. Hand-stitched, mid-condition, signs of wear. Only the obvious was visible. Although, why is there a red line? Right where it should be tied around her wrist...

Oh, Monika... This has been happening for a long time, hasn't it? You must have felt so alone to result to this. You're such a beautiful person... why can't you see that?

Unsettled footsteps shuffled behind me. My body whipped around to see her standing there with the blade of a razor in her hand. Her expression was one that I dreaded to see. Hopelessness. Self-pity. Contempt.

"Monika..." The words wouldn't obey my trembling lips.

"Feliciana, please. Stay out of this," her voice was freezing. It felt like shards of glass impaled my fragile heart.

My grip tightened around my old bandana. I couldn't let her do this, Viki is still somewhere inside of her. Yes, I only met Monika yesterday. But I'm not letting anyone else go through something like this.

"No, I can't let this happen to anyone else. Monika, I can help you--"

"This isn't your problem, so stay out of my business! Only I can solve this..." She erupted. "All they say are words, anyway. They're just meaningless things that don't leave a mark."

"But words hurt the most. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will destroy your self-esteem and fuck you up. Monika," I took a step toward her, "You need to let people in to help you."

She couldn't keep my gaze. Even though she was right in front of me, the distance she kept was endless. It was like a huge chasm opened between us. Dark, cold, lost. Her icy blue eyes were filled with hatred and loneliness. Things that I felt sorry for.

I can't lose her now! Please God, don't take her away from me. Don't take her away from me again. I can't wait another thirteen years to get her back.

"Feliciana... I'm not worth your efforts to save."

"Don't say that!" It was my turn to yell. "Monika, you're so beautiful! Your body is gorgeous and no one should tell you otherwise. You are so much more than what other people say. Those people don't know you like I do..."

"How can you say that? You don't know anything about me!" She was starting to get aggressive. I don't remember her being so frightening.

I know everything about you. Why can't you see that?

"I can see things that other people can't. I know that you are a kind, strong, and independent woman who can take care of herself. I know that you have people who love you dearly and would be devastated to see this side of you," every word that fell from my lips wavered like a riptide.

I managed to lead her into the bathroom, carefully taking the blade from her hand and discarding it. My grip tightened on her tense shoulders as she refused to look in the mirror.

"Monika," I gathered her attention, "Tell me what you see in the mirror."

She was hesitant to look as if a monster were in front of her. When she finally stared at her reflection, tears proceeded to pace down her face. Monika's timid side rose from the depths of herself and controlled her actions. Her body shook, her face fell, she couldn't keep her gaze.

"I see... someone who I don't want to be..." She whispered.

"Why? This is you, Monika. You can't be anyone else but yourself," I shared her fleeting warmth.

"Because I'm... I'm too masculine to be a girl. I don't know who I am anymore, but, I don't know who that person is in the mirror anymore," her head rested in her hands as she wept. "People can't see... I can't see who I am anymore. My sister doesn't act like she used to, my girlfriend won't speak to me, and my friends won't answer their phones! I never knew my parents and I feel so empty... like a part of me is missing. I don't know who I am anymore. How am I supposed to keep pretending to feel loved if I can't love myself?"

I found myself wrapped up behind her, pressing my face against her back. I held onto her as if she would disappear once more. Just hearing her sobs made me want to join in. After all this time... I thought that she was going to be okay. Even though she was so small and timid back then, I knew that she would grow big and strong one day. I never thought... I never thought that we were both broken on the inside.

"I'll love you. Even if no one else will, I will always love you," The words escaped.

"How could you say that? Why would--"

"Always... No matter what Viki, I'll love you. So please... don't make the same mistakes I did. I don't want you in the hospital again... I'll always love you." I wasn't sure if she heard me, I didn't want her to. All that I wanted was to see her smile once more. That smile that she used to make whenever I held her hand.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Song: Mirror Mirror from RWBY Vol. 1