"Tom I need to talk to you, could we go outside ?" Sarah is looking at him insecurely, they had just finished eating dinner and clearing the table.
Tom looked a bit confused and Hayley disappeared into the living-room, turning on the tv. "Yes of course darling".
They went outside on the patio, Sarah sat down on the edge of a chair, it was a mild and warm evening.
"Is something wrong Sarah ? Is it something I have done ?" He was pacing in front of her.
She sighed, afraid that this could be it, the end. "Yes and no, I am the one who has done something wrong".
"I am sure, it can't be so bad that we can't work it out baby". He tried to calm her, but his voice gave him away, he was afraid for what he would hear next.
"I got jealous, when I saw you with Lula on set, I was afraid there was something going on between you, so when you got a text while you were in the shower, I looked at it and saw it was from her, I read some of it". She looked at her hands, scared of what he would say.
He stopped dead in his track, looking at her, his eyes getting teared up and his voice raw. "Sarah.. I .. Fuck I..".
"I am so sorry Tom, it was wrong of me, but that was why we came to the studio today, Hayley snug in, she saw you and saw you rejected her, I am so sorry I didn't trust you". So now it had been said.
He bit his lip, his expression looked like he was in pain. "Sarah, I am not angry with you, you had every reason to suspect something.. I am the one who need to be begging for forgiveness".
Sarah felt like someone gutted her with a knive, turning the knive around just for good measure, what was he saying ? "What are you talking about ? Oh Tom what have you done ?"
"I .. I am so sorry Sarah, it was just one kiss, she kissed me and lost my head for a second". He collapsed on a chair hiding his face in his hands.
She didn't know what to say or do, she had been right, there had been something going on where did that leave her ?
"Tom ?" She was squatting down beside him, and he slowly looked up at her, tears streaming down his face.
He tried blinking the tears away. "I am so very sorry baby, I have really fucked up, I told her it was a big mistake, but she just wont leave me alone".
Her mind was going on wild rabbit trails, she had always said that she could never forgive as much as a kiss, but could she leave him ? He was clearly very sorry about it, but was that enough to grant him forgiveness.
She had done wrong too, even though she was happy she had done it, now at least she knew he was telling the truth when he said it was over, without that knowledge she would have never even thought about forgiving him.
"I don't know Tom, I have to think about this, I need to be sure that I can forget it and that I wont hold it against you later, before I know if I can forgive you". She looked at him.
He nodded slowly. "I wish I could turn back time and change it and I will do anything to prove that you can trust me, if you just let me".
"Right now I just need to be alone Tom, so I think I will go for a walk okay ?" She got up, she just needed to get away, she couldn't bear to look at him right now.
He looked up at her. "Take the time you need baby, but promise to be careful okay ? And remember that I love you".
She just nodded and went inside. "Hayley I need to get some air, so I will just go for a walk alone okay ?"
"Okay Sarah, please be careful out there okay ?" Hayley could hear that now wasn't the time to ask, but as soon as the door had closed, she was in the garden and right in Toms face.
He was still sitting on the chair, his eyes looking up into the heaven and she could clearly see he had been crying. "What the hell have you done you bloody idiot ?"
"Hi Hayley, I have fucked everything up okay ? I got scared and now I have probably ruined everything". He said resignedly.
"For Gods sake Tom, how much did you fuck up ? Please tell me you kept your pants on ?" Hayley were glaring at him.
He looked her directly in the eyes. "Yes of course I did, what do you take me for ? It was one kiss, she kissed me, I got carried away and was just a bit to long about stopping it".
"And now she is stalking you and don't get that it was a mistake ?" Hayley had been suspecting that something like this had happened, but as it clearly were over she had chosen not to say anything.
He nodded and looked absolutely heartbroken. "What am I going to do Hayley, I can't loose her, I have been such an idiot".
"Well I can't give you any guarantees, she don't see mildly on such things, but my best advice is to be honest, come completely clean". Hayley said.
"But I have, I promise there is nothing else, I haven't done anything else". He looked a bit confused.
Hayley sighed, men sometimes. "Honest about why, you do know that you were one little wrong movement from loosing her before this right ? She were contemplating going back home, that was why I flew out here".
"She wanted to leave me ? But why ?" The tears started falling from his eyes again and he looked absolutely devastated.
Hayley nodded. "Because she feels that you have a life where she doesn't fit in, that you already have more to do than time allows and she was almost in the way, like when you are with your friends for entire days ignoring her".
"Why haven't she said that ? I didn't know.. Oh fuck, I have really messed up haven't I ? Not just the kiss, but really truly all around". He ran his hands through his hair.
Hayley smiled and nodded. "Oh you can say that sweetie, but I think we still have time to right this, but it will take a lot from you, first of all that you man up and realizes what you are so afraid of that you pushes her away ?"
"I am not .." He stopped himself midt sentence and it looked like he had an epiphany. "Oh God, that is exactly what I do".
"I told you so, why do the two of you never listen to me ? But why Tom, I know for a fact that you love her". Hayley looked at him.
He sighed. "I panicked, I got afraid of my own feelings, afraid that I was repeating the same mistakes I made with my ex, afraid I was going to fast".
"Oh God you are a wanker, sorry Tom, but you are doing exactly the same aren't you ?" Hayley looked at him resignedly.
He flew up. "You are right, I have been the biggest idiot, I have to find her right now".
"Remember honesty Tom and now go get her back you big loon". Hayley hugged him and looked after him as her ran out the garden to find Sarah.