A/N I'm tweaking the timeline a bit, so that the Toad still comes in Harry's fifth year (the twins' seventh) but the twins don't drop out and there is no WWW. The Ministry (surprisingly) has accepted Golden Boy's testimony about Cedric's death and the return of Lord Pancaketortes. Also, this year will also be the Battle of Hogwarts. Just a reminder that the Golden Trio (and Draco, who already has his [unwilling] Dark Mark) are fifth years in this story but the Newrauders (the fab four: Violet, Lee, and Gred and Forge) are seventh years. For plot purposes just assume that the Horcrux hunt is pretty much over. This is not a story about Harry and his quest to defeat Lord Moldyshorts. I won't be focusing on that. Thank you, and enjoy the filler chapter for before I start college because there won't be another one for at least a couple months while I get adjusted.

-George POV-

I wake up cuddled next to Lee, fully clothed and freshly Scourgified. Thinking about last night makes me smile and lean over Lee, planting a small kiss on his cheek. He looks so damn adorable when he's asleep. Especially the way his tiny nose flares whenever he inhales.

Lee rolls over and cracks open his eyes. "Morning, George," he groans, pulling a hand over my shoulder.

"Morning, sleepyhead, c'mon. We need to get to breakfast before Ron eats everything!"

We stumble into the Great Hall before Ron's managed to scarf the last few pancakes from the platter nearest us, so Lee snatches one from right under my little brother's nose and eats it slowly, never breaking eye contact with the bewildered Ron. Harry looks over and says, "C'mon, Jordan! What'd you do that for?"

As I turn to get some food of my own, I hear Hermione scold him. "Honestly, Harry, you have been attending this school for five years now, the platters refill themselves! You can't even remember basic material from 'Hogwarts: A History!' And you call yourself the Chosen One!"

"But I am the Chos-" Harry stops abruptly as Hermione brandishes a rolled-up Prophet. "Don't hit me with that again! It hurts!"

Hermione looks like steam is about to come from her ears before the owls fly in, carrying the mail. Lee gets a small package that makes his face light up for a minute, before silently shrinking the box and tucking it into his vest pocket. "Zonko's," he mouths.

A red envelope gets dropped over mine and Fred's heads, and we look at each other. We both know what it is and who it's from.

I barely have time to glance at the professors' table and register a strange woman clad in pink before the Howler tears itself open and screams at us. Mum's voice rings out across the Great Hall and all noise stops.

"WHAT WERE YOU TWO THINKING, STEALING A TOILET SEAT FROM THE PREFECTS' BATHROOM?! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IN THERE?!"

Dad's voice in the background says, "Molly, dear, they're the twins. How did they not? Oh, and Harry, if you're there, I'd really appreciate an answer back on the function of a rubber duck."

"ARTHUR I'M TRYING TO SET MY BOYS STRAIGHT - well, not you, George, but - HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU BOTH TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE?! NOT EVEN RON GETS INTO THESE SHENANIGANS! A TOILET SEAT - WHAT'S NEXT? THE ENTIRE ASTRONOMY TOWER? AND DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER THE WAY I KNOW YOU BOTH ARE RIGHT NOW, I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU TWO REMOVING THE ASTRONOMY TOWER JUST TO PROVE A POINT! HOW CAN I SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING YOU'RE ALWAYS UP TO MISCHIEF AND IT'LL ONLY BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE YOU'RE EXPELLED?! YOU TWO WORRY ME SICK SOMETIMES! Oh, and Violet, dear, if you're there, tell your father I said hello. I hope he's doing well these days."

The letter implodes, leaving tiny snowflakes of paper on the table. The strange pink lady, along with the rest of the Great Hall, gives us a disapproving look.

I watch as Violet opens the letter that was dropped on her lap while 'Paper Mum' was berating us. Her face turns ashen and she runs out of the room. Fred gets up and rushes out close behind her. The only news from home that could make her react like that is something about her dad. Oh Merlin, I hope Vi's okay.

Lee and I are about to follow Fred when Dumbledore stands with a twinkle in his eye. "I realize it's a bit late in the year to be welcoming a new member of the staff, but the Ministry sent us a - what did you call yourself again, madam?"

The pink woman gets up and waddles to the front. She's short and squat, and is the spitting image of a hideous toad, like Neville's. "Hem-hem, yes. Thank you, Headmaster. My name is Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge from the Department of Education of the Ministry of Magic, and I am the new High Inquisitor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

An elbow pokes my side. "Try putting that on a nameplate at the Ministry, eh George?" Lee whispers, grinning.

"It has come to the attention of the Ministry that there are... Undesirables... in this school. We wish for the student body here to have a safe education, where there will be no indoctrination of any sort. We do not mean those who believe the Dark Lord is returning, for that is something we can all agree on. Nor are we hunting allies of the Dark Lord, for Headmaster Dumbledore assured me the local Death Eater population is quite contained." She glances pointedly at the entire Slytherin table. The Great Hall boos the lot of them.

"Emerald-green gits. They've probably all got the Mark," Lee whispers. I nod in agreement and we both get up to make a joint crude gesture towards the green and silver crowd on the other side of the Great Hall.

"Hey, my boyfriend is sitting right there!" hisses Harry, fixing his gaze on Draco Malfoy. "He's got the Mark but you both know his aunt was holding him down!" Lee and I sit back down, only slightly remorseful. The rest of the gits deserve it. Stupid Death Eaters.

We turn back to the front just in time to hear Professor Umbridge gleefully announce, "...We the Ministry of Magic wish for the best education for all of you, and this is why we will be interrogating and removing all possible homosexuals from Hogwarts. Permanently!" she titters. "In fact, a colleague and friend of mine at the Ministry, who is spending a year abroad catching MACUSA up to us, has kindly pointed me in the right direction for the hunt." She looks at me and my blood turns to ice. Percy? Lee grips my hand under the table, me having just gone a shade of white not unlike my collared shirt. She continues. "I'll be personally conducting all interrogations and carrying out punishments. The Ministry calls on the students of Hogwarts to inform us if they suspect anything. Now George Weasley and Lee Jordan, I need you to step outside and follow me."

-Fred POV-

I run out of the Great Hall and sprint after Violet. She barely stops for the Fat Lady to let her in before disappearing inside. I quickly catch up and gently lead her to the couch in front of the fireplace. The common room is deserted except for us.

She looks at me with tears in her eyes. "It's.. it's Dad. He's in the hospital again and M-Mum said it's the end. He... he f-fought his hardest and now it's g-gonna win. And it's so close to NEWTS that D-Dumbledore'll never let me leave to say goodbye. N-not that I'd be able to. He's in a coma. The cancer spread t-too far in his brain so th-they're keeping him on a machine. Mum just sent the letter so th-that I'd be prepared. She s-said she's getting everything in order... and then they're p-pulling the plug. W-what am I gonna do without him, Fred? My mum and I never really got along. D-Dad was always there for me, and I c-can't even be there for him! I hate th-this. W-Why did it have to be him?" At this her resolve breaks and she leans into my shoulder, sobbing.

My heart cracks in half seeing Vi like this. Mr. Turpington was the best dad I ever met, after my own of course. He had the same gentle chocolate eyes and same wavy dark hair as Violet, and he had a way of making you feel right at home. Her mother was a different story, but her Muggleborn dad knew how hard it was gonna be for her to live a normal life in the racist Wizarding World as a mixed-race, mixed-blood girl with distant Dark relatives on her mother's side. He raised her well, almost single-handedly, since she was never on good terms with her mother. Whenever the four of us would hang out at Vi's over the summer and winter holidays, he'd always make the best brownies as a snack. Even when he got sick, he still did everything to make his daughter happy and he kept her mom off her back.

How could he be as good as dead?

Vi's sobs start to slow. She hiccups. "Don't... don't leave me alone tonight Fred. Please."

"I solemnly swear I won't leave you, Vi. Not now, not ever. I promise I'll keep you safe."

"Thanks... Thank you Fred. You're the best."

I squeeze her against my chest. "Maybe top five. Are you up for class? I can get George and Lee and we can bunk off in our dormitory if you like."

Vi smiles a bit, tears dripping sadly and slowly down her milk chocolate cheeks. "Can we have a Dad Day? Where we can reminisce about everything Dad-related? I want to think of the good times."

"I'd love that, Vi. Your dad is the best, better than mine even. You get past the gender wards and into our dormitory, I'll get those goofy little cockgobblers." Violet pulls away and heads towards the stairs, flicking her wand at them as she goes up. I head to the portrait hole and back to the Great Hall.

The energy is all wrong when I get there. The strange pink lady is gone. Everyone is whispering. George and Lee are missing.

I slide into the Gryffindor bench and sidle up next to Harry, who's pale and staring bleakly at the table while Hermione rubs circles in his back. Ron looks at me in a right panic.

"Professor Umbridge took George and Lee! They're the first casualties in the Ministry's anti-queer witch hunt!"

A/N I know it's bad. I just wanted to crank a chapter out before I leave. Sorry. I'll take suggestions for improving this chapter. Thanks for being there.

-sadjm