That night Jessica laid in Danny's arms.

Thinking he was gone made her realize how much he meant to her.

"I never want to let you go.."

"I love you.. I'm sorry if I'm a lazy ass sometimes, I just-"

"No!  Don't apologize, you're incredible!  I've just got a lot on my plate.. These past five months.. Well year and a half, but mostly the past five months has just been extremely overwhelming. You do plenty for our family, and we love you."

"I love you guys too.
.. I'm lucky to be alive... I just can't stop thinking of all those other people."

"I know. It's horrible."

"I saw them, Jessica.. I SAW them!"

Jessica readjusts her cheek on Danny's chest and he continues.

"They didn't deserve to die..
There were family's on that plane. Moms, dads, childr-" Danny pauses and breathes heavy.

"What if that was our family.."

"Don't say that!"

"It's just really messed with my head, Jessica.
It's so horrible.. How can God allow something so horrible to happen."

"I don't know, Danny. God does some things that leave you questioning.. But at the end of the day, he's God and he has a plan for everyone."

"I just don't understand it."

"I know.
It's hard to try to understand why tragic things happen.. You just can't lose your faith."

**

The next morning Danny was on the phone.

"Well I'm gonna need the next available flight, we start production tomorrow morning."

Jessica's heart started racing.

"Danny."

"Yes, that'll do. Thank you!"

"Danny!"

"Just a second, baby." He holds his hand up. 

"I don't want you to fly."

Danny looks at Jessica and finishes up his phone call.

After he hangs up, he sits his phone down and holds her hand.

"Jessie, I know you're scared, but I don't have a choice."

"Danny, what if something happens?" She says as she starts to cry.

"I'll be okay. Nothing's gonna happen."

Jessica's eyes fill with tears and she nods her head.

"I'm scared, Danny."

"Come here, Princess." He pulls her gently and gives her a hug.

Jessica holds him tight and buries her face in his chest.

"I don't want you to be worried.  You already have enough to worry about."

"I just don't want to loose you."

"Jessie, look at all of the things that we've been through.. Everything that's happened.  Babe, I hate to say it, because t I think you're stuck with me."

"Don't say it like that!" She chuckles and lightly taps him.

Danny smiles down at her and wipes her cheeks.

"Let's wipe this pretty little face.  It's too cute for tears."

Jessica smiles, then starts crying again.

"No, no, no!  We don't cry, baby girl!" Danny speaks to her in a cute voice.

"I love you, Danny."

"I know.. And I love you more."

*Nods* "That's not possible."

"Oh I think it is, because I love you more than... More than you loved pizza while pregnant with the twins!"

"Haha!  That's a lot of love." She giggles.

***

Danny left later that day and Jessica had a hard time with it, but she had to push it to the side and take care of her kids.

Jessica was relieved when Danny called her from California.

"Danny?!" She answers with happiness.

"Hi baby girl!  I'm here!  You see, there's nothing to worry about!" You could almost hear the smile on Danny's face.

"Yeah.." Jessica says in a tearful voice.

"I miss you, Danny!"

"Sweetie, I miss you too!  But baby, don't cry, you're gonna make the babies upset."

"I know, I just can't help it!  I want you!"

Danny's heart broke when he heard Jessica say that.

"Babydoll, I wish I could be with you, but I'm doing this for us.  For our family."

"I know.  Thank you.  I just miss you."

"I miss you too, and you don't have to thank me.  I have to go now, but I'll call you every chance I get, okay?"

"Okay.." Jessica nods as though he can see her.

"Bye beautiful.  I love you."

"I love you too."

"Kiss the kids for me."

"I will."

***

The first week was rough without Danny.
Dorothy came over to help Jessica with the kids, but at night she was all alone.  The boys still wake up during the night to be nursed, and with Arabella, it just depends.  Sometimes she has a good night, and other times she just wants to be held.
Dorothy would take the kids to school so that Jessica wouldn't have to get all of the kids out of the house that early. 
When they got home Dorothy would leave for the day, leaving Jessica all alone with the kids. 
It was only a week in and she was drained already.  There was rarely a moment of peace and quiet, she felt like she was constantly nursing someone, or changing someone's diaper.
Jessica loved her kids more than anything, it was just really hard.

"Mom, I told you I needed help on this project, remember?!"

"I'm sorry, Sof!  When is it due?"

"Tomorrow!  I'm gonna be in so much trouble!" Sofia sits down, buries her face in her hands and cries.

"No, no, don't cry, sweetie.  It's gonna be okay, and you're not gonna be in trouble!  I'm gonna help you.  Just go upstairs, and I'll be up as soon as I can, alright?"

Sofia rubs her eye and nods her head.

Jessica smiles softly and holds her chin as she gives her a kiss.

**

Jessica stayed up with Sofia and helped her finish her project.  She tucked her in and finally was able to get some rest.  With Danny gone, she's not even able to sit down for a breather, she's just constantly going.  As soon as she got comfortable one of the twins started crying and woke the other twin up.

"Oh boys!  Why don't you like me?" Jessica whines.

***

April 16th.

"Mommy, it's four days till your birthday!  That means daddy's coming home, right?" Sofia asks with a big smile.

"Yeah!"

"Daaa!" Arabella smiles.

Jessica giggles and says, "Yeah, daddy's coming home!"

The twins were sitting in their boppy pillow and both started kicking their legs and babbling.

"Everybody's happy for daddy to come home, even the twins!" Jackson says walking over to lay on his stomach face his brothers.

"Hi babies!" He smiles and waves.

The boys move their arms with excitement.

"Look how happy they are to see their big brother!" Jessica smiles.

"Yeah, they like me a lot, mommy."

"I know, baby!" Jessica giggles.

*Phone rings*

"It's daddy!" Jessica smiles.

The kids get excited and run over to Jessica.

"Hi baby!"

"Hey pretty girl.  How's everything going?"

"Pretty good.  We can't wait to see you!"

"Awe.. That's what I was calling for.."

"What's wrong?"

"I have to work on your birthday."

"But Danny!"

"I'm so sorry.  I wish I could come home, baby, I do!  I don't have a choice."

"When will we see you?"

"I don't know.  As of right now, I have no time to myself."

"But Dannyyyyy!"

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

*Sighs* "It's okay.. It's not your fault.."

"I promise I'll make it up to you when you get to California."

"It's okay."

"I really am sorry.  Tell the kids I said hi and that I love them."

"I will."

"Alright.  I have to go now, you guys be careful."

"You too."

Jessica hung the phone up and sighed.  The kids knew already by Jessica's reaction and looked upset.

"It's okay.. We'll see Danny soon." She smiles softly.

Jessica hugged her kids and tried to cheer them up a bit, but she couldn't get rid of this horrible thought she had in her mind.

"Stop thinking like that, Jessica!  You know he wouldn't do that to you again!  If he said he has to work, then he has to work!"