I hate myself for loving you
Jessica went up to check on Sofia while Danny stayed down with the kids.
"Sof.."
"Momma, I don't want to talk about it anymore,"
"Honey it's okay.. Daddy and I are fine. Sometimes adults just.." Jessica sighs.
"Mevermind.. Hey you know what we can do? We can start packing for New York!"
"That's a long time away from now.."
"But we have SO much to pack!"
"Why isn't daddy going to New York?"
"Well just like I have to work, so does he. Aunt Sarah will come with us, it'll be fun. She's not staying but she's gonna be there for a little while because she's working up there too!"
"I just want to be happy."
Tears suddenly form in Jessica's eyes.
"I know. We will be happy, baby."
***
A few days later Jessica went over to Sarah's
"I haven't seen or heard from you! How's Jackson doing?"
"Great! But my marriage is over."
"What!"
Jessica looks down and begins to cry.
"Jessica, what's wrong?"
"I haven't said anything to anyone about this..
Danny recently found out that.. That he has another son. That girl.. She.. She had his baby, Sarah!" Jessica says as a sob escapes her lips.
"Oh my gosh! Jessica.."
"I am so hurt, Sarah. He went to see them twice. Once before I even knew about it."
"That's crazy! That's why you said yes to the play."
"Yeah.. I just need to be away from him. I don't have the energy to try to make things right. Again!
I just don't know how much I'm going to go through with this man before I decide enough is enough... Is it even worth the fight anymore?"
***
May.
"Jessica, I won't let you go! I love you! I love you so so much and I love our kids! I screwed up like always, I know that!"
"No Danny, this wasn't like always. I don't think I'll ever get you to understand my frustration in you going behind my back and seeing this woman."
"Jessica I know it was wrong, please.. Just don't go."
"It's too late, Daniel. And please don't follow me. I just want to be away from you for a while."
"What's gonna happen to us, Jess?"
"I don't know.. But I can't worry about that right now."
"What do you mean you can't worry about that? We're married!"
"Heh! Exactly, Danny!" Jessica laughed sarcastically.
**
June.
The kids are now out of school so they are leaving as soon as possible.
"Daddy why you not coming?" Arabella asks.
"I am! I uh.."
Jessica turns to him and Danny finishes, "I'm gonna come visit you guys.. Be good for momma, okay?" Danny spoke with tears in his eyes.
"Dada no cry! You come too!" Arabella holds his cheeks in her little hands.
"No Bella.. I-I can't go.."
"Yeah you can! He come, right mommy?" Arabella turns to Jessica.
".. Daddy has to work, precious."
"But-But!"
"He's not coming, Arabella!" Sofia snaps.
"Sofia! Leave her alone."
Sofia rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.
Danny follows her out, "Hey Sof! Wait a second.. Don't be sad. I'll visit,"
"I'm not sad anymore.. I'm mad! I don't understand all of this. There's something you and mom are hiding. It must be terrible because you two haven't spoken at all. You think it isn't obvious?"
"Sof.."
"Well it is!"
"I'm sorry.. Sofia, I love your mother with all my heart.. I don't want you to think I don't. We're just going through some stuff right now.. But we'll be okay."
Sofia looks into her father's eyes before bursting into tears.
"Hey don't cry, honey! It's okay!" Danny takes her into his arms.
"I just hate this!"
"I know, baby. I do too.."
**
"Okay.. everything's packed.. Kids, go look around and make sure you're not forgetting anything."
Jessica sent them out so she and Danny could talk.
"Jess-"
"No listen to me, Danny. I love you, okay? I do. I hate that I do but I can't help it. Give me this time away. You need to think about what you want.. because you can't have both."
"Jess.."
"No!" Jessica grinds her teeth.
"You think and you think hard, Daniel Huston." Jessica says as tears fill her eyes.
Jessica still had so much anger for him, but she went over grabbed his face and gave him a kiss.
"I hate myself for loving you!" Jessica pushes him away and walks out of the house.
She later sent Sarah in to get them and they were off. Leaving Danny all alone. At this point he didn't know what to do with himself. He was all alone without his wife or kids.
***
Two weeks later.
Jessica was out running some errands with Arabella and Jackson while Sarah stayed back with the rest of the kids.
"Momma, don't forgot about the eggs and the milk, and the bwead and the poptarts!"
Jessica laughs, "Okay, baby!"
"Jessica?!" She heard a familiar voice so she turned around.
"Sam! Oh my gosh! Sam! Hi! How are you?!"
"I'm great! Well could be better.. I'm divorced. But ya know.." He chuckles.
"Oh Sam I'm so sorry!"
"Thanks.. So are these your kids?" He smiles.
"I hers! My mama name Jessica!" Arabella raises her hand then hits Jessica's arm.
"Well you're so smart!" Sam chuckles and rubs Arabella's head making her giggle.
"These are only two of em."
"How many do you have now?"
"Five!"
"Five?! Oh my gosh! Wow.. Well you look great! Congratulations." He laughs nervously.
"Haha! Thanks!"
"So what are they?"
"Well Sofia and Jackson you knew about, then I have Arabella and two twin boys, Joshua and Joseph."
"Woah! You have your hands full then, don't you?"
"Yes I do!" Jessica laughs.
"Well I know you probably don't have time, but I'd love to go to dinner and catch up.. I don't mind third wheeling." He chuckles.
"Hm? Oh no, my husband is back home in New Orleans."
"Oh! Well uh.."
"Pick me up at seven!" Jessica smiles.
"Oh! Okay." Sam smiles making Jessica giggle.
"My daddy at home cause my sissy say my mommy and daddy mad at each other."
"Arabella!" Jessica quickly covers her mouth.
"She's a mess! I'm sorry!"
"Heh! No problem! I'll let you go.. See you tonight."
"See ya.." Jessica was smiling softly.
"Bye kiddos! Nice seeing you guys."
"Bye bye, mister!" Arabella says in her cute baby voice as she waves.
Sam laughs and waves back.
"Are you going on a date?" Jackson asks.
"What! No!"
"Cause that wouldn't be good!"
"Of course it wouldn't! No, I've known Sam since I first started acting. He's just an old friend...
Just an old friend.." Jessica says still watching him from afar.
**
When she got home she told Sarah all about it and Sarah said she would watch the kids.
Jessica was so nervous but didn't know why. It was just Sam! Why did she feel this way?
Danny's POV.
*Hey we're in town! I have a little boy that really missed his daddy!* Trisha text along with a picture of Coltan.
Danny stared at the picture and his heart felt like it was being ripped in two.
He didn't know what to do. He knew Jessica would be upset, but he really did want to see Coltan.
*We can meet right now. How about Mr. Gattis?* Danny replied back to her message.
*Perfect! He's excited!*
Danny sighed and looked to the side at their family portrait. He had never felt so torn. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he wanted to see his son. This wasn't about him and Trisha.
**
Jessica arrived at the restaurant and Sam was already there.
"Hey! You look great!" Sam stands up to greet her.
"Thank you!"
Jessica sat down and they immediately started to catch up. She told him about the separation but didn't go into too much detail, she told him about Arabella and about the play she was going to be working on. She never brought up what was currently going on with her and Danny.
Sam told her everything that happened between him and his ex wife, and what he's been up to the past few years.
After dinner they continued to talk while sipping on wine.
"So can I ask you something?" Sam asks.
"Sure."
"Why isn't Danny here?"
Jessica sighs, "I was waiting for that question."
Sam chuckles.
"We're just going through a rough patch.. I needed a break from him." She chuckles.
"Oh.. well I was just wondering. I understand.. Cindi and I had a lot of rough patches.. Before the really big one."
"Yeah.."
"Can I confess something?"
"Go head."
"Since the day we first met.. I had the biggest crush on you."
Jessica chokes on her wine so Sam pats her back.
"Are you serious?" She laughs.
"Yes! Can you blame me? You're gorgeous."
"Wow.. Thanks!" Jessica chuckles.
"I know that you're married, I'm not trying to steal you away. I just.. It's something I always wished I would have said to you."
Jessica smiles and looks down.
"Hey, you probably need to get back to your kids, but do you think you could come by my place for a little while?"
Jessica looks at him and he says, "I have something to show you! That's all!" He laughs.
"Oh! Well of course!"
**
On the way over Jessica text Sarah that she was going to be a while longer and for them not to wait up.
When they got to Sam's he put in an old home movie.
"What is this? Oh my gosh! Haha! Look how young we were!"
"I know! This was on set the day we tried to break Frances out of the loony bin. "
"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot we made this video!" Jessica laughs.
"Oh I wish we could go back.. We had a lot of fun making this movie."
Sam turns to her, "We sure did.."
Jessica clears her throat. "It's getting late.."
"Yeah." Sam stands up to walk her out.
"Tonight was fun. We should hang out more while you're in town."
"Yeah! Of course!"
They get to the door and Jessica hugs him tight.
"Thank you so much, Sam."
"No problem. Thank You!"
Jessica looks him in the eyes, "I have a confession to make too."
"What?"
"I always had a crush on you too."
"Really?" Sam laughs.
"Yeah." Jessica says before she unexpectedly kisses him.
Sam held her and kissed her back.
"Ah.. You have no idea how much I needed this!" She says just inches away from his face while she grips onto him.
"What about Danny?" Sam asks.
Jessica smiles. "That bastard owes me one."
Jessica slams the door and grabs him for an even more intense kiss.
***
And the crowd goes wild! 😂🙈
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