"Mommy, can I see the marks on your tummy?"

"Well not now, baby.  I'm wearing a dress and people are around!" Jessica laughs.

"Okay.. take me to gramma's bed!" Arabella holds her arms up to her mother.

Jessica picks her up and walks over to Dorothy.

"Mom, she's sleepy.  Is it okay if I put her down in your bed?"

"Sure, sweetheart!  Are you sleepy, baby girl?" She baby talks to Arabella.

"Gramma two Thanksgiving's is too much for my little bitty body!"

"Awe!  You poor little baby!"

"Yes now let me sleep!  Let's go, mommy!" Arabella pats her mother's back.

"Okay, sweet girl.  Let's go!" Jessica chuckles.

Jessica laid her down and Arabella insisted she stayed with her until she fell asleep.

"Mommy, let me see your belly marks!"

"You really want to see them?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay." Jessica lifted up her dress and Arabella turned to her side and placed her hand on Jessica's stomach.

"Woah.."

"I told you!" Jessica laughs.

"You got lots of them."

"Yep!  That was because of all the babies that were in there!"

"Ohh!  I make this little one?" Arabella pokes her.

"I'm sure yours is the smallest one on there!"

"Yeah cause I little!  The boys make this big one!" Arabella traces her little finger on a longer stretch mark."

"Yep.. Most of these are from the boys!" Jessica laughs.

"Yeah.. member when I lay on your belly?"

"I do remember that!  You called it Your belly!"

"Well it is mine!  I slept in there when I was teeny tiny!"

"That's true!"

"Mhm.  Mommy, what's this?  Who gave you a moon?" Jessica pokes her hip tattoo.

"That's a tattoo.  No one gave me that.  When I was younger I went and got it put on.. I did that on purpose!" She laughs.

"When I get bigger I gonna get one too so I be just like you!"

"Awe!  You're so cute!"

"Yeah I know." Arabella says making Jessica laugh.

***

Christmas Eve.

"Momma, I want you to come with us to grandma's!"

"Awe Joshy!  You're gonna have fun, baby.  I'll see you later tonight."

"But you gonna be home all by you self!"

"I'll be okay, honey."

"You pwomise?"

"I promise, baby boy!  Then tomorrow I'll be with you All day long!"

"Okay.."

Jessica smiles and gives him a big kiss.

Danny came by to pick the kids up.  The twins and Arabella cried leaving their mother.

"Hey you're okay!  Mommy will be okay!  You go have fun and I'll see you tonight, alright?"

"Daddy why Jessie just not come with us?" Coltan asks.

"Oh sweetie, that's very nice of you but.. I'm okay!" Jessica smiles.

Coltan smiles and jumps up and down for her to pick her up.

"You look very handsome, Cole."

"Thanks!  My daddy gave me these clothes!"

"Well daddy did a great job!"

"Yeah.." Coltan laid on Jessica and Danny chuckled.

"You are a flirt, Coltan!"

"I like Jessie cause she's so cute."   He sits up and softly caresses her face. 

"You are just so sweet!" Jessica laughs.

"And I like you because you give me hugs like my mommy used to."

"Oh sweetie.."

"And you smell like cookies!" He smiles.

Jessica laughs and Danny says, "Okay kids, let's go."

"Only if Jessie goes!"

"Buddy.."

"Coltan, I'll see you soon, okay?"

"No!  You go and I'll stay here!"

Danny grabbed Coltan and pulled him away from Jessica.

"JESSIE!" He screams as he reaches for Jessica.

Even though Coltan wasn't Jessica's, her hurt still hurt for him.  He was so upset.

"PLEASE DADDY!"

"Oh coltan, I'm sorry!  You'll have so much fun though!  You can tell me all about it later, okay?"

"Okay.. I.. I see you soon." He sniffles and pouts has little lips.

"Okay." Jessica smiles.

**

After the kids left Jessica changed back into her pajamas, took her makeup off and pulled her hair up.  Before she wanted to look as though she had somewhere to be, when in reality she was going to be spending the day alone.
She sat on the couch and watched Christmas movies and cried the whole day.
She missed her babies so much.  It was Christmas Eve, one of her most favorite times of the year and now it was completely different.

The hours felt like days to her.  Finally the doorbell rang and she heard the kids talking.  She ran to the door and got down to their level as they showered her with kisses.

"Oh my babies!  How was your day?"

"So much fun!" Joseph says.

"Yeah grandpa John drank so many beers!  He was so funny!" Jackson laughs.

"Hah!  Good ole John!" Jessica chuckles.

"Yeah he's a mess.  So how was your day?" Danny asks.

"Uh, it was okay!  I uhm.. You know, I-I.. I had a nice day." She smiles.

Danny nods.

"Well good!  Kids, com give me a hug.  Merry Christmas, little twerps!"

"Merry Christmas, daddy." Sofia hugs him tight.

"You guys have fun, okay?  I'll see you in a couple days."

"But we not gonna see you on Christmas, daddy?" Arabella pouts.

"Honey,we talked about this, remember?"

"But.. but.. You and Cole Cole gonna be sad by you selves !"

"No honey, we'll be alright."

"But when Santa comes.. you not gonna be here with me?"

Sofia watched her little sister with tears in her eyes.  All this change was just too much.

"I hate this!  I want our old lives back!" Sofia shouts before she runs upstairs.

Danny and Jessica both sigh.

"Ah man.."

"I know.  I feel terrible, Danny."

"Well the first one will be the hardest.. it'll get easier."

"I hope you're right."

"Let's go talk to her."

Jessica nods and they tell the kids to play downstairs while they go upstairs to speak to Sofia.

"Hey princess."

"I don't want to talk about it!" She sobs.

"Sofia, I know it's hard right now.. it'll get better, sweetie."

"No it won't!  You two aren't getting back together so it will Never be okay!"

Jessica sighs.

"This doesn't feel like Christmas!  I just want to go back to when everything was good."

"Honey, right now it's difficult because we're just trying to figure out what our new normal is.. but it will get better.  I promise you!"

Sofia wiped her eyes and sniffled.
"You guys always promise things that end up being completely different."

Jessica looks at Danny with sadness in her eyes.

"Your mother and I love you.  We really are trying to make this easy on you kids."

"Your father's right, honey."

"I know.. It just sucks."

"I know, baby.. it sucks for all of us." Danny says.

Jessica looks at Danny and they stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds.
"It'll get better.." Danny said in a whisper.

***

The next morning Sofia and Jackson were a bit quiet and the three younger ones were okay.
Danny's Christmas morning on the other hand was really quiet.

"Hey buddy!  Merry Christmas!"

Coltan turns over and rubs his eyes.

"Cole, let's go see if Santa came!"

"He probably didn't even know I moved!" Coltan says with a pout.

"Of course he knows!  Remember when we went to see him and you gave him your new address?"

"Yeah.. Daddy, I want my mommy!" Coltan rubs his eyes and cries.

Danny sat down and held him in his arms.

"I'm sorry, buddy.. I know it's always hard.. but on days like this it's extremely hard.  Just know your mommy is always with you.  She loves you so much, buddy."

"I love her too.. I just want to see her and hug her, daddy."

"I know you do, buddy."

Danny rocked him softly and after a while he calmed down.
They went downstairs and Coltan saw the living room filled with toys.

"WOAH!  This is so awesome!  Thank you, daddy!" Coltan hugs his leg tightly.

"You are so welcome, buddy!"

Danny watched Coltan open his presents and he kept turning to see his other kids open their gifts or he would look up to say something to Jessica.  For a split second he forgot.  Danny's heart ached when he looked up and realized his family wasn't there.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I please see my brothers and sisters today?"

"Well they're gonna spend the day with their momma's family today so I'm not sure.. but I can ask Jessie if you can see them tomorrow."

"Can I stay at their house?"

"I don't know about that.. they can come over to our house."

"Hmm.. Well I don't know."

"What?" Danny laughed.

"Well they always come here!  I wanna go to their house!"

"We'll see, buddy."

**

Jessica's POV.

"OH MY GOSH I LOVE IT!"

Jessica laughed at Joshua's reaction to his gift.
"Danny, did you see him?!"

Sofia and Jackson look at her and Jessica quickly realizes what she's said.
"Uh.. I don't.. I don't know why I said that."

"Maybe you're crazy." Arabella says.

"I think so, baby."

Jessica was suddenly really quiet.  How could she forget for that split second?

They went about their day and everything went well.  The next day Danny took the kids to see a movie and his mother helped him out with them.  This whole new life was extremely hard to get used to, and as the days came closer to the new year it became harder and harder to deal with.

On New Years at midnight Jessica couldn't hold back her tears.

One year earlier...

"Happy New Year to my favorite little minions!" Jessica smiles to all of the kids either sitting or passed out on the couch.

Jessica goes down the line and kisses each one, then goes up on her tiptoes and kisses Danny.

"And to my sweet boy! Happy New Year, babe." She smiles.

"Happy New year, BabyDoll."

"I love a fresh new year. I love putting negative stuff behind us and really focusing on the joy we have coming to us in the future."

"I love your positivity, baby."

Jessica smiles. "Thanks. This is gonna be a great year.  I can just tell!"

"You bet it is." Danny smiles and softly kisses her lips.
**
Jessica cried as she thought back to that day. It was like she was living in a totally different world now. Where did those two people go? Why don't they take their own advise and just forget about the past and move on? What changed? Of course there's Coltan and Jessica was with Sam, but why can't they move past this? Maybe.. just maybe there was a small amount of hope still there?  Or at least that's what Jessica wished for.

January second was another hard day. Four years ago Jessica and Danny went on their Second first date.
From then on Danny always took Jessica out to dinner to celebrate.
She remembers asking him to take her for a milkshake after their dinner. Not only because she was craving one, but because she wanted to stay out with Danny for as long as possible. He was her best friend. They could talk for hours and hours about anything!  It was also the night he first felt Arabella kick.
**
"Mm, that was good!" Jessica stretches back in her seat and rubs her hands up and down on her tiny belly.

"Did she enjoy it?"

"Oh yeah! She's moving all over the place!" She smiles.

Danny puts his hand on her stomach and smiles at the feeling of his baby girl move around.
"I felt her!" His eyes light up.

"You did?!"

"Yeah! Wow.. That's the first time I actually felt her."

Jessica looks at Danny and sees his eyes water.
"You okay?"

"Yeah...
Jessica, I am so so sorry for everything I've done to you."

"I know you are, Danny."

"I promise you, I'm gonna make it right. I'm gonna show you that you can trust me with all your heart. We'll live together again one day, baby.. And when that day comes, I won't ever let you slip away from me... Ever ever again.
I will never do anything to hurt you, or cause you pain in any way... Because I love you, Jessica Phyllis Lange."

"I love you too." She smiles and grabs his hand that was just on her belly in hers.

Danny smiles and kisses the back of her hand.
**
"Heh!  Now look at us.. just like that our life has change.. This whole thing has felt like an eternity of hell.... yet it only feels like a split second."