A star burns brightest before it goes out.

-

   "Here,"

   "Whoa, that is a big pile of letters,"

    "Yes, it is and all have been vetted besides one," Jihyo said.

    Hyunjin smiled, "Thank you,"

    Jihyo sighed and sat next to the younger, "Why won't you let me look over this particular piece of fan mail?"

    "It is personal," Hyunjin said.

   "Then why is it getting sent to the company P.O. box and not you're home?" She questioned.

    "Because it is fanmail,"
   "Hyunjin..."

   Hyunjin sighed, "I just want this particular person's letter to only be read by me. There's never anything mean or dirty in it... it is just very deep and personal," he told her.

   Jihyo pursed her lips, "Okay, next week's letter I will make sure comes to you only,"

    "Thank you,"

   She ruffled the younger's hair, "Don't forget you have vocal lessons today in an hour, Seungmin is joining you,"

   "Okay,"

   Jihyo stood up and left the room, closing the door on the way out.

   Hyunjin grabbed the envelope on top of the stack. The floral envelope never changing.

     Opening the wax seal, he pulled the letter out.

   Dear Hyunjin,
  I ate three meals today! Not really big meals, but meals, nonetheless.

   Hyunjin smiled reading the first line, "Good job, Yongbokkie," he whispered.

    I wonder if you actually read these. Probably not. I'm sure these get vetted and I am sure my letters are set in the strong no pile, due to me writing about certain things, but even if you don't, it makes me feel better writing them.

    If you do read these, thank you for being inspiring! To be honest, some days are harder than others and eating is especially hard, but I try. It is especially easier when I sit and watch your lives and eat.

    I may not be able to eat all my food, but every time it is a little more. I'm trying to break out of a few more bad habits, but they... they are harder to get rid of.

   They have a stronger hold than others.

  The brunet frowned, his brows knitting together reading that line, "Ah, Yongbok, be strong. You can do it," he murmured as if the other could hear him.

   Enough of that! I am going to the group's fanmeet in a month! And the 3racha concert the day before, I got front row seats, thanks to the help of a friend.

   I can't wait for both. Anyways, I think that is all I have to say this week. Maybe, I'll send a letter next week.

   Sincerely, Yongbok ♡

  Hyunjin hummed and folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope.

  Looking at the time, he hummed, getting up he slid the envelope in his bag.

-

   "Lix, two Iced americanos," Yunjin said.

   "Yunjin, I will take care of your shift. Go get your stuff and go to your class before you're late, again," Felix said.

   "I can't if I lose out on this paycheck I won't be able to pay rent and my landlady is scary,"

    Felix sighed, "I will give you the money you need, but you need to get to class,"

   "No, that isn't fair to you. Especially when you are working your ass off," the girl said.

   "Which would you rather deal with, landlady who is upset or me upset because you missed class?" The brunet questioned.

   "I will see you tomorrow, I promise. I don't have any classes tomorrow,"

   Felix nodded and put the lids on the Iced americanos, "Love you, listen in class,"

   "Love you!" Yunjin called out, rushing out of the café.

    Felix turned around and walked up to the cashier counter, "Two Iced americanos for Sky," Felix called out.

   A man walked over and took the carrier, "Thank you,"

  The brunet smiled, "Have a good day,"
 
  "Felix!"

   Felix sighed and turned around, "Yes, Mr. Oh?"
 
"Where is Yunjin?"

    "She had to go to class. I told her that I would take her shift," Felix told him.
 
  "This is the seventh shift she has missed, she is going to get fired," the man said.

  "She is a college student and she did have class today and she told you, but she still came in. She was here for three hours meaning she is missing only one hour for her shift today,"

  "She misses another shift, you both are gone,"

  Felix pressed his lips together as the man walked off. It was just another day.

  Turning back to the cash register he smiled at the masked man in front of him, "What can I get for you today?" Felix asked.

   The person just stood there.
 
  "Excuse me?" Felix said.

   The brunet blinked a couple times, "Uhm, I... can I have a, uh, Iced americano," The man asked, handing Felix the money as it showed up.

   Felix nodded and gave him change back.

   "Name?"

    "Huh? Oh, Sam,"

   "Okay, please wait to the side,"

  The man nodded and went to the side, watching the younger make the coffee. Which didn't take him long.

   "Here you go! Have a nice day," Felix said with his same toothy smile.

   "You too," the brunet said.

   "Felix!"

   The other turned his attention to the front of the café.

  "Soojinnie,"

   "Guess what," the woman said.

   "What?" Felix asked.

   "I got us front row tickets to the concert,"

   So maybe Hyunjin shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but in his defense, he was curious.

  "No. I thought they were sold out," Felix said in disbelief.

   Soojin smiled, "I pulled strings, meaning I called Soyeon who called a friend and that friend was able to get two tickets to Moonlight this weekend. I owe Soyeon like five hundred dollars, but it's totally worth it," Soojin told the younger.

   "Let me pay for it, it is the least I can do,"

    The woman shook her head, "No, it is my treat, especially since you paid for both my 3racha concert ticket and for helping me out last month with rent,"

   Hyunjin's brows raised hearing that. He heard the other earlier telling his co-worker that he would send her money for her rent after she refused to leave. He was surprised how giving the younger was.

   "Ah, I have to go. I'll sew you tomorrow for dinner, my treat this time, no arguing,"

   He could hear Felix sigh, "Fine, but can you take this to the post office? I would do it, but I am closing tonight,"

   Looking up from his journal, his eyes zeroed in on the all too familiar floral envelope.

   "Wow. Two letters in one week... that is new... is everything okay?" Soojin asked.

   Hyunjin watched Felix smile and nod.

  "Yeah, I just felt like writing another letter. I mean, I know he probably doesn't read them, but I don't know,"

   Hyunjin pressed his lips together and looked back down at his journal. He's probably read every single letter multiple times.

   Five years of letters, a new letter each week with the same wax seal, the same envelope, and paper. He had about 267 letters now. That is including the one he received today.

   All the letters were safely tucked away in his closet in a lockbox.

   "I don't know, I think he probably does, but that is me. Alright, I love you, I'll see you tomorrow and I will drop this off on the way to the studio,"

   "Love you and thank you,"

   Hyunjin listened to them say their byes, then Felix start working again.
   Mindlessly, Hyunjin went to his messages and clicked on his most recent chat.

Hyunjin the Ferret
Do you know a Soojin?

Soyeon the Great
Soojin?
Yeah.
Wait
Which Soojin?

Hyunjin the Ferret
She just asked you for a favour.

Soyeon the Great
Yes, I know her
Why?
Did something happen?

Hyunjin the Ferret
No.
Uh
How much does she owe you for the tickets?

Soyeon the Great
512
Well
500 for the tickets and 12 for chicken nuggets I bought her
Soyeon the Great
Why did you just Venmo me 500

Hyunjin the Ferret
Because the chicken nugget thing is between you and her

Soyeon the Great
Are you covering her tickets?

Hyunjin the Ferret
Yes
Just tell her that someone heard about it and covered it for her

Soyeon the Great
Uh-huh
And it isn't at all because you are at a Café and met the cute guy who she got the tickets for

Hyunjin the Ferret
What???

Soyeon the Nosey
Look up.

  Hyunjin looked up from his phone, and Soyeon was standing at the counter with a small smile.

  "Hi, how's it goin'?" Soyeon asked sitting opposite of Hyunjin.

  "How'd you know I was here?"

   "I didn't. I always come here.... at least when Felix is on shift, he makes a great chocolate coffee milkshake thing and he added chocolate syrup, it is really good,"

   As if on cue, the drink was placed in front of Soyeon.

   "Here you go, Soyeonie," Felix said.

   Soyeon smiled, "Thanks Lixie. So, you are coming tomorrow right? Soojin is getting food, I am renting 'An affair to remember', Jisung is bringing ice cream and we are going to cheer Yuna up,"

   "Ah, are you sure that is the right movie to get?" Felix questioned.

   "Why wouldn't it be?" She asked.

  "Yuna was cheated on... by her boyfriend while they were on a cruise,"

   Soyeon winced, "I will go to the video store and return it,"

   Felix nodded and looked back at the counter.

   "I have to go before my boss fires me... I'll be there tomorrow,"

    "Okay, love you,"

   The younger smiled, "Love you,"

    Hyunjin watched the other walk away.
  "That is the third time with the 'Love you' thing," Hyunjin mentioned.

   "Just an endearment thing... what are you working on?" Soyeon asked, looking at the journal.

   "Just lyrics. He is the one who writes those letters," Hyunjin muttered.

  Soyeon nodded, "I know. I've known you two for pretty much the same amount of time,"

   "Why didn't you tell me?"

   "Because I told Felix I wouldn't. He made me promise two things: One, that I would never tell you it was him writing the note if I ever met you and if you brought it up and two, that I would never introduce you two," Soyeon explained quietly.

    "He is coming to my fanmeet next month though," Hyunjin murmured.

  "It is how he wanted it. I mean he knows idols, producers, choreographers and a bunch of people in the idol world but he never cares for what it could get him.

  If he wanted to he join the best company for him, he could ask his friends who are producers to help him write a song, he could ask Soojin and Minho to help him choreograph a dance for it and he could debut with great promoting,"

  "He knows that many people?"

  "Hyun, the amount of people who would do anything for him is endless, even if sometimes he can't see it... he is so loved," the woman said.

   Hyunjin pressed his lips together and messed with the corner of his journal, "Do you know what he writes in those letters?"

    "No, it is a lot like his emotions. He keeps it to himself unless he wants you to know,"

   "What does that mean?" Hyunjin questioned.

  "It means that he is always smiling. It means that some horrible shit could be happening in his life and you wouldn't know, because he smiles and is happy," Soyeon told him.

   Hyunjin stayed quiet.

   "I should go. I am meeting with Chan,"

   The younger nodded.

  "I'll see you later, I am going to swing by for a little while to hang with Yuqi," Soyeon said.

  "I might not go back to the dorm tonight or I might be later than normal... I think I am going to hang out here for a little then head to the studio," Hyunjin told her.

   Soyeon held a small smile back and nodded, "I'll see you then,"

   Hyunjin stayed in the cafe for hours. Writing every little thought in his mind and glancing at Felix every once in a while.

   The younger smiled at every customer and was polite to everyone. It felt surreal that all those letters, all 267 letters, were from him.

  “Would you like another coffee?”

   Hyunjin looked at the brunet a little surprised, “Uh, no, I am good, thank you,” He said.

  Felix nodded, “I do have to let you know that we are closing in five minutes,”

   Hyunjin looked at his watch, eyes widening a little. It was already 10, meaning he had been sitting there for at least nine or so hours.

   “I should get going then. Sorry for staying so late, have a good night,” Hyunjin said, bowing politely and quickly leaving.

~

   When Hyunjin got back to his dorm, Soyeon was still there cuddled up on the couch with Yuqi.

  “Hey, you’re back,” Yuqi said.

   “Yeah, I was at a cafe today just writing and stuff,” Hyunjin told her.

Yuqi hummed, “Jihyo came and dropped off a letter for you. It is in your room, it looks like the letters you’ve been getting every week, but didn’t you get one of those already?”

  The younger nodded, “Yeah, I did. I suppose they wanted to send another one this week… Uh, I am going to head to bed, we have a long day tomorrow and I want to be well rested,”

The blonde gave a thumbs up and turned back to the movie playing on her laptop.

  Hyunjin made a beeline to his room.

The small desk light was turned on perfectly illuminating the floral envelope from earlier in the day.

    The brunet sat at his desk and carefully picked up the letter as if with one wrong move it would be destroyed.

   He opened it slowly and pulled out the letter.

  Unfolding it he began to read it.

  Have you ever had something so unexplainably horrible happen to you?

“He didn’t address me this time,” It didn’t bother Hyunjin at all, it just felt weird especially after all the letters.

  It’s not like a threat I swear… I am just curious I guess… Something inexplicably horrible happened to me recently. I have been coping, but most of the progress I’ve made with my habits has gone away.

I would tell my friends but it is scary. They only see me as the bright Yongbokkie and that is all I want them to see, because what if I let them see and they just don’t want me anymore? I don’t think I could handle it. I am barely hanging on right now.

  Sometimes I wish that someone would just say they see me, they see the pain and the scars.  I wish I had told my friends about what happened, but again it is scary. You never know how someone will react to certain things…

I don’t know if I am going to send more letters. It helps writing them, but maybe I should save them for myself…
I don’t know…

Hyunjin sniffled a little, there were possibly a hundred different things that the other could be talking about. None of them were good.

   There was a small piece of him that wanted to go to the livingroom and talk to Soyeon about the letter, but it wasn’t his place to do so.

   He closed the letter and put it back in the envelope. His heart hurt a little after reading it.

  He wished so bad that he could help.
   Hyunjin got up and changed into his pyjamas. Turning off his desk lamp, he plopped on his bed.

  He wondered if he could find the younger man's Instagram.

    Grabbing his phone, he opened it and went to instagram.

   He had too many followers to actually go through them all to find the brunet.
  Soyeon on the other hand didn't have as many so maybe he could find Soojin's account and then Felix's account.

  Maybe it would be even easier considering Soyeon only followed close friends.

  She followed eight accounts. Obviously, Yuqi. As well as some other idol friends like Minnie, Shuhua, and Miyeon. Then there was Soojin and Minho.

   Finally one more account, Pixie.bokkie. Hyunjin could only assume it was Felix.

   He clicked on the account and waited for it to load.

   Most of the pictures he saw at first were of friends. Minho, Chan, Soyeon, Soojin, the girl from the café, and some more people Hyunjin didn't recognise.

   There were a few pictures of the brunet here and there. Including a few from when he was a blond. For the most part it seemed like Felix didn't post himself much.

   Last picture Felix posted of himself was from over the weekend. It was showing off his outfit to go out.

   Hyunjin turned off his phone and set it on the charger.

    He really wanted to meet Felix.

~

   “Is this too much?” Felix asked.

  Soojin hummed, “Honestly? No, I think you could use some glitter,”

   “Of course, you do,”

  The woman giggled a little and grabbed her loose glitter and a brush. She opened the glitter, it was a fine powder.

   She tapped the brush on the side of the container a little before she started to apply it to the younger.

  “Didn't we buy these clothes two weeks ago? They seem looser?”

   Felix hummed, “Must've bought a size bigger,”

   Soojin nodded, “What did you have for dinner last night? Hope is was better than what I had. Shuhua and I decided to tryout a new restaurant near us and the food was burnt,”

   “Ah, I just had some pasta,” Felix told her.

  “That sounds good. What kind of pasta? Minho was telling me about the dinner he made for his date yesterday, it was Thai stir-fry noodles and it sounded good,” Soojin said.

   “Pasta salad had some tomatoes, chicken, olives and some other things in it. Was really good, pretty sure I got the recipe from Minho,”

  The older woman nodded and closed the glitter.

   “Well we should get going,” she said.

   “I'm sure we have some time,”

  “Then we are going to miss sound check,”

  Felix blinked a couple times, “You got us sound check tickets?”

  Soojin smiled, “Soyeon is really connected,”

    Felix would have to remember to thank the woman again and profusely next time he saw her.

~

  When the two got to the stadium there was a long line.

  “It looks like they aren't letting anyone in yet,” Felix said.

Soojin nodded and continued to pull Felix away from the line.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You'll see,” she said.

  They walked up to a guard and Soojin told him something to which he nodded and gestured for them to follow.

   The three walked in and stopped.

“Ms. Jeon is in front of the stage waiting,”

   Soojin smiled and nodded, then tugged Felix along.

  “Soyeon is here?” Felix questioned.

  “Like I said, she is really connected,” Soojin stated.

   The two entered the stage area and quickly found Soyeon.

  “You guys are here!”
   “Took a bit, needed to do touch ups on make-up,” Soojin said.

Soyeon nodded and looked to Felix, “Felix, you should meet the band or at least Yuqi,”

   “I am going to their fanmeet next month,”

   “I know, but it would mean a lot if you met Yuqi,” Soyeon stated.

   Felix smiled, “She is the girl you have been seeing,”

   Soyeon smiled a little and nodded, “We met when I was producing one of their more recent songs,”

  “Fine, I will meet her,”

  The woman smiled wider, “Yuqi!” She called out.

   Yuqi looked up and smiled seeing Soyeon. The blonde swiftly walked over and hopped off stage.

   “Hey, what is up?” Yuqi said.

   “I want you to meet Felix Lee, he is one of my best friends,” Soyeon introduced them.

   Yuqi smiled and held her hand out, “It is a pleasure to meet you. Soyeon has told me a lot about you,”

   Felix shook her hand, “It is nice to meet you as well,”

   The blonde glanced at the younger’s attire, “Are you going to change later? It is probably going to get a bit hot,” she mentioned.

“I run kind of cold, so I’ll most likely just stay in this,” Felix told her.

  Yuqi nodded and glanced at the stage, “I should go. Make sure to have fun,”

  She quickly gave Soyeon a kiss and said “I love you”, then went back on stage.

   “Who was that?” Hyunjin asked.

  “Oh, it was Soyeon’s friend. His name is Felix, really cute,” Yuqi said.

  Hyunjin nodded, “Did you get them a pass to be here right now?”

  Yuqi nodded, “Yeah, figured it would be a nice gift,”

  “Gift?”

  “Yeah, Soyeon said that her friend’s birthday was the same day as the concert, so figured why not give them an earlier pass to get in,” Yuqi explained.

   “Who’s birthday is it?” Hyunjin asked curiously.

   “Felix’s, I believe he is turning 23,”

   Hyunjin nodded.

  “Ah, it looks like sound check is starting,” Yuqi said, fixing her guitar strap.

   The younger nodded and put his guitar on.

  Soyeon, Felix, and Soojin sat in their seats as the sound check started.

   The band went through a few songs, then Hyunjin whispered something to Seungmin who nodded and switched places with him.

   “New song?” Soojin asked.

   Soyoen shrugged, “No clue. Though, it isn't often that Hyunjin takes center stage, so maybe it is a new song,”

Except it wasn't.

   Felix knew the song well, he had listened to it often enough to know what it was from the first strum of the guitar strings Seungmin did.

  “It's a cover,” Felix said.

  “What?” Soyeon questioned.

“The song. It is ‘Different kind of beautiful’,” Felix told them.

   It was kind of quiet as they listened. Partially because of the song, but mostly because it was another band member taking lead with vocals, in particular a member who didn't often take lead.

   Hyunjin took the mic off the stand and walked to the front of the stage and sat down.

   Maybe for a moment Felix thought Hyunjin was looking at him, but he quickly shook it off. There were at least 30 other people he could've been looking at.

   “You're a different kind of beautiful. The kind that makes me scared…” he paused while singing, maybe he was looking at Felix.

  “The kind that makes me turn around and act like I'm not there. The kind that takes my breath away and leaves me without air. Maybe I'm delusional, you're just that kind of beautiful,”

   Hyunjin stood up from his spot and walked back to the mic stand.

  Maybe Felix was a little delusional, because there was no way Hyunjin was actually looking at him.

   Maybe, he just wanted it to be him. Doesn't every fan want it to be them at one point?

The actual concert was fun. He sang and danced along to every song, it was all fun.

   The three stayed longer once the stadium cleared out. Partially because they didn't want to go out with the crowd and partially because Soyeon said to wait.

  Once it was clear Yuqi ran out from backstage.

  “Come with me,” she said.

  “Where?” Soojin asked

  “Backstage so you can meet the band,”

   Soojin practically lit up like a kid on Christmas, but Felix hesitated.

  It was one thing meeting Yuqi, but the whole band? Meeting Hyunjin? After all those letters?

  Even if he didn't know if Hyunjin read them, he doesn't think he'd be able to face him yet. The fanmeet was a month away, he had time to prepare…this was too soon.

  “Lix?” Soyeon said softly.

  “You guys go. I am tired and just want to curl up and sleep. I won't be much fun,” Felix said.

  “But it is like your dream to meet the whole band,” Soojin mentioned.

  “I know but I think I want to wait… you guys go have fun,”

   “No, no, it is fine. It's your birthday, we should go back to your place and hang out or something,” Soyeon stated.

   Felix tensed, his place was not in the proper state for visitors.

  “Like I said, I am tired. It wouldn't be much fun right now. We can do something tomorrow. You guys go have fun… I'll-I'll call a car,” Felix told them.

   “Are you sure?” Soojin asked, worried.

  Felix nodded, “I will be completely fine. I will text you when I get home,”

  Soojin bit her lip but hesitantly
nodded.

  “Here, I'll call one of our private drivers,” Yuqi said, pulling out her phone.

   “Yuqi, it really is fine I can just call an uber,”

  The woman shook her head, “Nonsense, it is your birthday and it'll cost like an obscene amount for an Uber, this is free,” she stated.

   She was right from here to his flat, it'd probably cost a lot, so this was better.

   Felix nodded, “Okay,”

  Yuqi smiled, “He should be here in 5, he'll be pulling up at the side away from most of the fans, it'll be easy to spot. You are welcome to stay here while you wait,” she said.

  “I'll start heading out now, so I can get past all the fans,”

   “Ah, go out the entrance you came through, that one is blocked off,”

  Felix nodded and looked at Soojin, “I will be fine, stop worrying and go have fun. I'll text you, I promise,”

   Soojin just nodded.

  “Okay, I will see you all. It was really fun tonight,”

  They all said their last byes and parted.

  Felix should have been paying attention when he exited, but he wasn't, he was looking at his phone when he ran into someone.

   “Sorry,” he said quickly, bending down and picking up his phone.

   “It is fine. I should have been paying more attention,”

  Felix nearly froze.

   It was Hyunjin. He ran into Hyunjin. Of course he did…

   When he came to his senses he stood up quickly and backed away a little.

  “Ah, you are Soyeon's friend,” Hyunjin said.

   Right, he was just Soyeon's friend.

  Felix nodded.

   It was tense to say the least.

   “Did you, uh, enjoy the concert?” Hyunjin questioned.

  “Uhm, y-yeah, it was fun,” Felix said.

  Hyunjin smiled a little. Knowing what he knew from the letters tied his stomach into knots. Hyunjin raised his hand to adjust the neckline of his shirt, but he didn't fail to notice the way Felix flinched.

   The letter from days ago popped in his head and he backed away a little.

   “How long have you been listening to our music?” Hyunjin asked, trying to make small talk.

  “Pre-debut,” Felix said.

   “So about six years now,”

  Felix nodded.

  Hyunjin bit his lip, “You know all these years of being an performer and writing music, there has only been one thing that I truly wish I could do,”

“Really? What?” Felix asked.

   “I wish that I could just take away all of the bad things fans feel. In some fan letters all the bad things they feel are mentioned and I just wish I could take it away,” Hyunjin said.

  Felix smiled a little, “You know, a lot of fans feel the same,”

  “Really?”

  The younger nodded, “It is quite common in the Fandom, I guess,”

   Hyunjin nodded, “Do you send fan mail?”

  Felix pursed his lips. He couldn't answer. If he did and said yes, there was the possibility that Hyunjin would try to look for it actively and Felix didn't want that.

   “Sometimes,” he said.

  Hyunjin nodded, “I always like receiving the letters. It is nice…” he paused, “there is one letter in particular that I always look out for… one a week for the past five years. Recently it changed, I got two letters. Now, I have like 269 letters from this one person,”

  He could be talking about anyone, but still it made Felix tense.

   “Sounds nice looking forward to something like that,”

   “It is and I hope they don’t stop,” Hyunjin said quietly.

   “Everything ends eventually though,” Felix told him softly.

   It was just a small flash of something in Hyunjin’s eyes, but it was enough for Felix to know that Hyunjin was talking about his letters.

A car pulling up caught Felix’s attention, he took a deep breath and gave Hyunjin a smile, “Uh, It was nice meeting you and seeing you perform, but I have to go now. Have a good night,”

   Felix was quick to begin walking away. It was one thing for him to believe in the back of his mind that Hyunjin read the letters, it was another to know that he actually did and that he actually knew how many letters were sent.

   He told the driver his address and sat back in his seat. He just wanted to be home.

  ~

    The morning after the concert is when everything started going downhill. Pictures of him and Hyunjin talking were circulating on social media, along with a video of sound check.

   While some people were very nice, there were a very vocal minority that absolutely hated Felix.

“This isn’t even his fault. I'm the one who started talking to him and I am the one who sang the song,” Hyunjin huffed, tossing his phone on the table.

  “But Felix is the fan,” Yuqi said.

  “So fucking what? It is no different than meeting an idol randomly on the side of the damn road,”

   “Except you sang the song which make Felix seem like more than a fan,”

  Hyunjin groaned, “I don't get it, he knows 3racha publicly too. He knows Minho, Soojin, Soyeon, and so many more, but the hate he is getting is because he and I talked? Because I sang a stupid song?”

   Yuqi sighed, “It is different. Chan and him were friends before 3racha debuted and everyone knew that. Soojin, Minho, and him go to the same dance studio. He also used to help do backing vocals, which is where he met Soyeon.

  He is publicly a fan of the group. The first concert he goes to, he is inside before sound check starts and when sound check starts you and Seungmin switch.

   You take lead on vocals which rarely happens and start singing an interesting song right in front of him. Then you guys are seen talking outside after the concert? It looks like you two are dating,” she said.

   The optics of it weren't good. Hyunjin really just hoped this wasn’t affecting Felix.

~

  “I’m sorry, but I have to let you go,” The man said.

  Felix bit his lip and nodded, “I understand,”

    “That isn’t fair, Mr. Oh. It isn’t Felix’s fault this is happening,” Yunjin stated.

    “Yunjin, it is fine,” Felix told her.

  The younger crossed her arms, “No, it’s not. You are being harassed by fans and instead of you being protected and ensured that you can keep your job, you are being fired for something out of your control,”

  “Yunjin, behaviour like this will not be tolerated,” the man stated.

   “Just let it go, Yunjinnie, it is fine… eventually this will all be sorted out, okay?”

  Yunjin faltered and nodded, she would let it go.

~

  When Felix arrived home he couldn’t help but break. It was too much for him. Occasionally he would get a hate comment or two because he knew Chan, but this…

   It was like he was in a hurricane. Rain pouring down and winds breaking everything around him. Maybe at some point it would be calm again, but would he actually be safe from the storm or was he just in the middle of it, about to be hit by the worst part of it?

~

   “Is he doing better now?” Yuqi asked.

   Soyeon nodded a little, “He is happier, going out more. We can’t really tell, to be honest,” she said.

  “I am so sorry this happened… Hyunjin has been fuming, especially since the company isn’t allowing him to say anything,”

  Soyeon sighed, she’s heard little things about what is going on behind the scenes regarding Hyunjin and the company.

    “Is he still going to the fan meet in a couple days?”

   “Yeah, he really doesn’t want to miss it. I think that is the thing he is most excited for,” Soyeon said, grabbing her pinging phone.

   “That is good that he is still looking forward to it,” Yuqi said softly.

     Soyeon’s brow knitted together as she clicked on the link someone sent her.
   “Oh my god,”

   Yuqi sat up, “What is everything okay?”

   “No, oh god, a medical record for Felix was just leaked,” Soyeon said, reading through the article.

  Her heart stopped seeing what exactly was leaked.

   “Talk to your company or something, get them to make this stop. It has gone way to far,”

   “Soyeon, wait, did someone actually release a medical record?”

  Soyeon showed the younger woman her phone, her hands were shaking and tears were welled in her eyes.

   “Oh my… I will talk with them, I promise,”

   The brunette nodded and took a deep breath, “I was out with him that night…we got separated and I just thought that he, you know, hooked up with someone… I didn’t… he didn’t tell me or anyone,”

   Before Yuqi said anything there was a loud crash and glass shattering.

  “Go make sure Felix is okay. I will make sure that everything gets taken care of even if I have to go around the company,” Yuqi said.

   Soyeon nodded, “I’ll text you later,”

~

   He was smiling, he was laughing, he was just so bright, like nothing had happened.

  “Felix…”

  “Soyeon, I promise I am fine, so let’s just enjoy the movie. Have a friends night like we used to,” Felix said.

   “Felix, please can we talk about this. Why didn’t you say anything to anyone? Are you pressing charges?” Soyeon questioned.

  Felix bit his lip.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore. It happened, I am fine and no I am not,”

  “It does matter. It matters to everyone who cares about you,”

For a second, Soyeon could see the happy demeanour Felix held crack, letting just a bit of sadness shine its way through.

   “Let’s watch the movie,” He said softly.

  ~

    Felix looked so happy. He was like a star that was shining its brightest. He was leaving his house and doing stuff.  He was going to the flower shop and helping the old woman there run it.

  He was so damn happy. He was especially happy when the fan meet came around.

  “You look cute today, Lix,” Yuqi said as she signed his album.

   “Thanks, figured I’d wear this for today since I haven't worn it in a while,” he said.

    “I think you should at least wear the sweater more often, it is adorable, the clouds are so pretty,”

  “They are. I think though this might be the last time I wear it, it is pretty old,”

  Yuqi nodded understanding, “Well, if you decide to ever wear it again, I think it really suits you,”

  Felix smiled and stood up, “Thank you, Yuqi,” He said quickly before the security shooed him to the next person.

    She was confused but didn’t dwell on it.

  Hyunjin watched anxiously as Felix talked to the last member before he got to him. Curse staff for putting him at the end of the line-up.

  As Felix sat in front of Hyunjin, he smiled brightly.

    “Hey,” Felix said softly.

  “Hi,” Hyunjin said, signing the album.

“Your short hair looks nice,” Felix mentioned.

   “Really I wasn’t too sure about it when we first cut it,”

  Felix smiled more if possible, “It really does look great,”

   “I’m sorry,” Hyunjin said.

  “For what you did nothing wrong?”

   “I pulled you into this world… this world of being in the spotlight… this world of hate and things that shouldn’t be leaked being leaked,”

  Felix bit his lip and handed Hyunjin a letter, “Like I said, you did nothing wrong. Stuff happens and the world goes on. I’m sorry for not sending letters though… I kind of forgot, so here is this one,”

   Hyunjin looked at the envelope and took it. This one felt different.

   Felix stood and left as the security told him to move.

   Hyunjin looked at the envelope for a moment longer before he hid it on the side and looked at the next fan.

As the event winded down and the group just started to mess around and sing, Hyunjin finally looked around the crowd hoping to spot Felix, only to not see him anywhere.

   He walked over to Yuqi, “Do you see Felix anywhere?” he whispered.

   Yuqi looked around. She didn’t.

  “No, I don’t, why?”

   “I don’t know something just feels a bit off,”

  Yuqi nodded and smiled at the fans before whispering, “I’ll text Soyeon really quick,”

   Hyunjin nodded and went back over to where he was sitting, that is when he saw the letter. He hadn‘t read it yet and to be honest he was scared to read it.

   With a breath he picked up the letter and opened it. It was just a few words, yet it tied his stomach in knots and made his heart drop.

  Thank you for everything. I know you wish you could take the pain away but that isn’t how it works. I hope we can meet again in another life.
~Felix

   He was quick to walk to Yuqi and show it to her.

  “He gave you that?” She asked.

   Hyunjin nodded.

    ~

   Soyeon unlocked the door and rushed in without a thought. This wasn’t happening. Felix was fine, that is what she was telling herself.

  “Felix!” She called out only to get no response.

She walked down the hallway. It sounded like the bath was running and water was hitting the floor. Her whole body shook as she reached for the doorknob. Pushing it open her heart dropped.

   She was quick to rush in trying her best not to slip on the red coloured water on the ground.

   Turning off the tap, she grabbed a towel and put it on the younger’s wrist. Tears fell from her eyes as she tried to stop the bleeding.

   “Felix, please… Wake up,” Soyeon said.

   “Soyeon?”

  It was Yuqi.

   She didn’t answer, she just tried to pull Felix out of the bath.

  “Oh my god…” she could hear Hyunjin practically whisper, before he rushed over and helped.

   Yuqi was already on the phone with the emergency service as calm as she could be.

   “I don’t know what happened! I just came ove, can you please just send someone!” Yuqi said, frustrated.

The already faint pulse Hyunjin could feel was fading, then it did fade. He was gone.

Soyeon cried softly, knees to her chest.

  Still Hyunjin tried to do chest compressions, he tried until Emergency services made him leave. That is when they called it. He was actually gone
.
   If he had read the letter sooner would it be different?

~

   Hyunjin went to the funeral and the service after. He heard the whispers from people around him. Why would he even come when he never actually knew Felix?

They were right, he didn’t know Felix like them. All he had was 270 letters that he would keep and remind himself of.

  270 letters that would be safely stored in a lockbox in his closet.

“I hate doing this…” Jihyo muttered.

   “It is what they need me to do, so whatever,” Hyunjin said.

   “I can fight them with this, tell them you won’t do it,”

   Hyunjin shook his head, “And risk your job? I’d rather not, I’ll do the live,”

  Jihyo bit her lip, “Are you okay? I mean you were there,”

   “‘M fine,” Hyunjin muttered sitting down.

    The older woman nodded and pressed the live button.

   Hyunjin waited for the live to populate a little before he greeted and even when he did it wasn't as energetic as normal.

   “So, I am supposed to come on here and say things that I need to, but to be honest I don’t want to, so I’m not going to. I didn’t know Felix personally at least not that well, but I still knew him. What happened is a tragedy and something that people are mourning and should.

  The things, however, you guys did, the hate and the leaking of private information is unacceptable. I was told not to comment on the behaviour displayed from the fandom, but I really don’t care. The behaviour displayed then and even now is unacceptable. Until further notice, I will be halting my activities group and otherwise,”

  Hyunjin turned the live off

   He just wanted a minute to breathe.

~Seven months later~

   Hyunjin posted a New Video: Cover Me