Heavy
TRIGGER WARNING: Abuse
"Only you have flowers for fists
And it makes it easier when they come down on me.
I feel it, it's all I know
But do I need it? It stunts my growth" ~ Heavy - Squirrel Flower
Liverpool, 11 June 1956
"..of course, I find the fact they are teachin' us anything about dinosaurs or evolution, silly. Wait til I tell me parents..." Sally rambled as she and Charli walked out of school. Charli, was only half paying attention. She was enjoying her science classes, but would never admit it.
She saw a group of girls outside the school laughing at something and talking with 2 young dark-haired boys from the boys' school. She knew one of the girls from a few of her classes, but they never talked.
"Don't you agree Charlotte?" Sally asked jarring her from her thoughts.
"Wha'? Oh...um, sure Sally" Charli answered.
"I knew you'd agree with me," Sally said before going on again.
It was hot that afternoon as they walked home, Charli took off her school jacket, the uniform wasn't revealing even without the jacket but did manage to show more of her figure, she felt insecure as they passed a few more boys who catcalled at her.
"Charlotte," Sally whispered, "You shouldn't remove your jacket, it's immodest!"
"But it's too hot out to wear it all the way home," she argued.
"Well, you don't want ta' make the boys think of you as easy" Sally chided.
Charli said nothing. She wanted to be home, away from Sally, in her room and drawing.
Soon they arrived at Sally's street.
"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow Charlotte," Sally said brightly "I'll be by bright and early to walk to school"
"Yeah, alright," Charli said before waving goodbye.
As soon as Sally was gone, Charli broke into a run. She knew she could make it home in plenty of time before her father came home from work and make sure she was upstairs working on her homework.
She reached her house, noticing the family car parked just outside. She tried putting her school jacket back on as the door opened.
"Charlotte!" Mr McLeod said angrily "We saw ya's runnin' up the block like that, what do you think yer doin'?
"Sorry da'," Charli said nervously "It's just really hot out..and.."
"Nevermind that," He grabbed her shoulder roughly "Get inside"
*
"WHAT HAVE WE SAID?" Mr. McLeod shouted grabbing Charli by her shoulders and shaking her "What have we said about exposing that...that...jezabel body? Yer goin' to tempt the boys into makin' you impure! Then what?"
"I..I'm sorry da'," Charli cried "I didn't mean to...I won't do it again.."
"You had better not!" he said angrily as he hit her hard. "Now, go to your room and think about what you did. Your mother will be up to discuss what passages you should study"
Charli did as she was told, she sat in her room thinking about what she'd done...but was questioning why it was so bad.
Stop it...don't think like that, if he knew you were thinking like that...
Just then she heard the door open as her mother entered the quiet bedroom, carrying her bible with a few bookmarked pages.
"Your father has picked 3 passages for you to study tonight, Charlotte," Mrs. McLeod said as she sat on Charlotte's bed with her.
"Yes mum," Charli said quietly.
"First: 1 Timothy 2:9-10 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness." Mrs. McLeod began
"Next: Mark 7:21-23 because it's from within, from the human heart, that evil thoughts come, as well as sexual immorality, stealing, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, cheating, shameless lust, envy, slander, arrogance, and foolishness. All these things come from inside and make a person unclean."
"And finally: Proverbs 7:9-12 at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. Then out came a woman to meet him, e and with crafty intent. (She is unruly and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks."
Mrs. McLeod closed her bible and took out a notebook
"Now, I want you to write why these verses are important for a young lady and why you have disobeyed -"
"But..I wasn't dressed like a prostitute.." Charli said without thinking. Her eyes went wide in panic, realising what she had said.
"Charlotte!" Mrs. McLeod said angrily "I will not tolerate such disobedience! You may not have been dressed as you think a prostitute would dress, but yer headin' down that path! Ya' have a wicked heart and we are helping you to become pure"
"Ok mum..." Charli said sadly.
"That's better," Mrs McLeod said. She got up from the bed as Charli began writing. She made her way to the door before turning back to Charli "You know this is for your own good"
The door closed.
Charli's thoughts turned to confusion again, nothing made sense anymore and she didn't understand why...surely her parents were right?
*
It was the following day, Charli sat in her history class with Sally. Her face was sore and her shoulders ached from the night before. Sally was talking, but Charli wasn't paying attention. She watched 2 girls at the back of the class, one with auburn hair and very pretty and the other was built a bit larger with black hair.
"So, Jenny, ye've been hangin' around with McCartney a lot," the larger girl said "Is anythin' happening there?"
"With Macca?" the auburn-haired girl laughed "Yer jokin'! He's me best mate, he's like a brother...it'd be weird"
"Yeah, well, yer the only girl who isn't losin' themselves over him" the other girl laughed.
"Bunch of slags," she said "Like I said, he's like me brother...but none of them are good enough fer him if ya' ask me, April"
Suddenly April looked up, noticing they were being watched.
"What the fuck do you want?" she said angrily to Charli. Charli bashfully looked back at her desk.
"Lay off April," Jenny said. She glanced over at Charli, she noticed she was more quiet than usual and there was a red mark on her cheek. She shook her head and went back to her conversation.
"Alright, that's quite enough," a portly man with an ill-fitting toupee said "Now, if you'll open your books to page 127 we can get started"
Charli found her mind wandering more than usual that day, she was a generally attentive student but often found herself daydreaming in Mr Abernathy's class, especially on days after she'd gotten in trouble at home. That day, she wondered what it would be like to be friends with the girls at the back of the class, no one ever bullied them, which was more than she could say about herself. She saw the auburn-haired girl about her neighbourhood, often with the boy from a few doors down from her own house and often wondered what it would be like to be in their friend.
"Miss McLeod," Mr Abernathy said, jarring her from her thoughts slightly before he gently grasped her shoulder "Please.."
"DON'T HURT ME!" She shouted looking terrified "I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!"
There were tears in her eyes. A few of the more popular girls giggled loudly at the scene.
Charli stood suddenly "I'm sorry, I need to go to the nurse"
By that point most of the class was laughing as Charli hurriedly left the room, Jenny watched after her. She wasn't sure why, but she felt concerned for the strange girl who rarely spoke to anyone but Sally.
Charli sat in the nurse's office, embarrassed and scared.
"No need to worry lovey," the dark-haired nurse smiled "Can I see your shoulder?"
Charli shied away, "I'm not supposed to take me shirt off, it's immodest," she said quietly.
"If yer shy about showing anything," the nurse said "I have a gown you can change into just behind that curtain"
Charli nodded. She took the grey gown and disappeared behind the privacy curtain, emerging moments later.
"There now, is that better?" the nurse smiled. Charli nodded.
"Alright then, let's have a look," She said. Charli rolled the sleeve up to reveal a bruise on her shoulder.
"My my," the nurse said, she frowned slightly noticing the tell-tale signs of abuse. It looked like Charli had been grabbed harshly. "That is quite a horrid bruise, it's no wonder it hurt when Mr Abernathy tried gettin' yer attention"
"I...um..fell down the stairs...last night" Charli lied.
"Well, let's get some ice on that," the nurse said preparing an ice wrap for Charli. "You live on Fortlin Road, don't you?"
Charli nodded.
"I thought so," the nurse said as she continued working "You don't live far from us, yer parents came by when me and my husband moved our family in last year, I know they said they had a daughter, it's nice to finally meet you"
She remembered the McLeod parents well, they were kind enough but also seemed very standoffish, she thought it odd they hadn't brought their daughter with them when welcoming the McCartneys to the neighbourhood
Charli smiled slightly.
"I've got 2 boys, James, but he likes to be called Paul, and Michael...do you know either of them?" She smiled.
Charli shook her head.
"Well, dearie" she smiled "My name is Mary, figure if we're neighbours we should be on a first-name basis"
"I didn't know you worked here..." Charli said quietly.
"I work in a few different places that need a nurse," Mary answered "I'm sure ye've seen me out on me bike about Allerton"
*
"Hi mum!" Jenny said as she entered her family house.
"Hi Jenny," Mrs Jamison called from the kitchen "How was school"
"Same old," Jenny said, hanging her uniform jacket on the bannister "boring"
"Oh come now, it can't be that dull" Mrs Jamison laughed.
"Well, I guess," Jenny said "You know that Charlotte, the one that lives near Paul?"
Mrs Jamison nodded. She was vaguely aware of the McLeods, they'd met a few times and she knew they didn't approve of her divorce, she knew their daughter was abused after she'd heard the sounds of screaming and crying while she walked to the McCartney's to pick Jenny up late one night.
"Anyway, she went off on Mr Abernathy today," Jenny laughed "I mean screamed at him, it was pretty crazy. She then dismissed herself to the nurse, it was really weird"
Mrs Jamison was quiet a moment.
"Jen," she said finally "You know how you hate people judgin' us for me leavin' yer da'? Or Simon's behaviour..."
Jenny nodded and grimaced knowing where the conversation was going.
"I think you should be a little nicer to Charlotte," Mrs Jamison said.
"I'm not mean to her or anythin' mum, she just is so..quiet," Jenny added "Sally seems to do all the talkin' for her"
"Jenny, have a seat," Mrs Jamison said. Jenny raised an eyebrow but sat with her mum at the kitchen table.
"I know you don't like Sally," she began "And frankly, the Prescotts have never given me any reason to like them, but I think you ought to give Charlotte a chance"
Jenny was quiet, unsure what her mother was asking of her.
"Look Jen," Mrs Jamison ventured "I know you have yer friends, but she doesn't have many...the school is concerned and, I know this might be hard to hear, but her father hurts her"
Jenny's eyes went wide "Hurts her, like how?" she asked.
"Jenny," her mum said placing a hand on hers "I know it's hard to believe, he hits her...I think that might be why she's so quiet. I didn't tell ya's, but I could hear it from their home when I picked you up from the McCartney's earlier this year"
Jenny was silent a long time.
"I...I..had no idea.." she said finally "I just thought she was odd...wait! That explains the red mark on her face today..We should do something, help her!"
"The best thing you can do for now, is be kind, Jenny," Mrs. Jamison said.
**
"Now, go to your room," Mr McLeod said "Your mother and I have a lot to discuss"
"Yes da'," Charli said through tears.
It was the day before school let out for the summer and the McLeod's had received a letter from the school, regarding her outburst in Mr Abernathy's class and concerns from teachers and the headmaster that she didn't have many friends.
Charli made her way up the stairs, clutching at her wrist in pain. She was only thankful it wasn't her drawing hand this time. Soon, her bedroom door was closed.
"Joseph dear," Molly said after a moment "I've been thinking, maybe we should allow here a little time around the neighbourhood children"
"Bunch of heathens," Joseph said "She just isn't trying hard enough"
"That may be," Molly agreed "But, at least to keep the school happy, perhaps we've limited her social development a bit much for their liking"
Joseph softened slightly and sat at the table with his wife.
"Perhaps yer right, Molly," he said "But we will have ta' keep a close eye on her, I don't trust the local brats anymore than I trust her urges"
Molly nodded and went back to her knitting.
**
15 June 1956
It was the last day of school, Charli was looking forward to more time to work on her art, but wasn't as excited over the summer holidays as the rest of her classmates, summer for her meant more studying passages and trying not to anger her parents.
"Hey Charlotte," Jenny said as she and Sally entered the room.
"Hello..em..Jennifer," Charli said shyly.
"It's Jenny," Jenny smiled "I saved you a seat"
"No thank you Jennifer," Sally said "We're sitting at the front of the class together"
"Why don't you let her speak for her bloody self, Prescott?" Jenny bit. She then smiled warmly at Charli, "What do ya' think, Charlotte? Don't make me beg"
Jenny laughed. Charli smirked slightly as she sat down much to the chagrin of Sally who angrily made her way to the front of the class.
"Thought she'd never leave," Jenny laughed. Charli smiled again.
"She talks a lot," Charli said quietly.
"Too much if ya' ask me!" Jenny said. "Hey, what are ya's doing after school?"
"Oh um, I was probably just going ta' go home, Sally and I usually walk home together," Charli answered.
"Well, I thought, maybe we could hang out...grab a nosh" Jenny smiled.
"I'd have to ask me parents," Charli said nervously "And I don't know if they'd like it"
"I'll come with you!" Jenny said enthusiastically "I can convince them, I bet!"
"Ok," Charli said. She wasn't sure why Jenny was even talking to her, let alone wanting to get together after school. Jenny noticed Charli was more quiet than usual and saw a fresh set of bruises at her wrists, she cringed slightly.
"Alright class," a teacher addressed "Please, take out your sketchbooks..."
"Fuck sakes," Jenny whispered to Charli "Hasn't anyone told her it's the last day of school?"
Charli smiled slightly as she reached in her bag for her sketchbook.
"I don't mind in art," Charli admitted "art makes me happy"
She flipped open her sketchbook to a recent piece she'd been working on for class of a magpie.
"Cor!" Jenny exclaimed "That's bloody amazing!"
"Something you'd like to share with your classmates, Miss Jamison?" the teacher asked.
"No Miss," Jenny said "Only that Charlotte is a bloody amazing artist"
Charli blushed.
"I am well aware of Miss McLeod's art, may I continue?" she asked.
"Seriously, that's stunning" Jenny whispered to Charli.
"Ta..." Charli smiled "It's not that great"
"Fuck off, 'not that great'" Jenny laughed quietly "I'm lucky I can even draw a stick person"
As the class continued on, Charli enjoyed the time she was spending with Jenny, while she remained sceptical of the sudden friendship, she hoped it was genuine.
"Hello, Mum! Da'!" Charli greeted her parents happily as she returned home from school with Jenny at her side.
"Charlotte lovey," Mrs McLeod called from the kitchen "How was yer last day of school?"
Jenny stood in the doorway, surprised at the attitude of her parents...she had expected monsters upon entering the home, however, the conversation Charli was having sounded similar to a conversation in her own home with her mother.
"Fine mum," Charli said brightly "I was wonderin', could I go to Jennifer's house for awhile?"
Mr. McLeod folded his paper over to get a look at the new friend Charli had brought home.
"Jennifer?" Mr McLeod said "You must be Miss Jamison's daughter"
"Yes sir," Jenny said "Can Charlotte come over for a bit?"
"Charlotte, why don't you and Jenny go outside for a moment?" Mrs McLeod asked.
"Ok mum," Charlotte said as she and Jenny left the house.
"Of all the bloody children she could make friends with..." Mr McLeod huffed "Molly, are we really goin' to allow this?"
"I don't like it either Joseph," Mrs McLeod said crossing her arms "But...she does need to make more friends"
"According to the school," Mr McLeod interrupted.
"I know luv," Molly assured her husband "She doesn't make friends easy, perhaps she can influence some of the less righteous children"
"Perhaps..." Joseph said after a long wait "She has a long way to go before she's considered righteous."
"Charlotte?" Molly said opening the front door "You can go to your friend's house, but make sure you're home for dinner. Yer father says not a moment later than 6 o'clock"
"Great!" Jenny said happily as she jumped up from the front step "Thanks Mrs McLeod! Come'head Charlotte!"
Mr and Mrs McLeod watched as their daughter ran up the street with the new friend they weren't sure was right for her.
22 June 1956
"I got a rockin' pneumonia
I need a shot of rhythm and blues
I think I got it off the writer
Sittin' down by the rhythm revue
Roll over Beethoven
We're rockin' in two by two"
Jenny and Charli sat listening to Jenny's newest record in her room together, Charli admittedly enjoyed it, but was feeling uncomfortable for doing so.
"So ye've never heard anythin' by Chuck Berry?" Jenny asked.
Charli shook her head.
"Little Richard?" Jenny asked.
"No," Charli said picking a piece of lint of the pink dress she wore, "My parents say it's 'devil's music'"
"Bloody hell," Jenny laughed "Do yer parents like anything?"
Charli laughed slightly. It was her second time being at Jenny's house, they'd gotten together for a few walks but Jenny had insisted she come over to listen to music.
"So what do ya' think?" Jenny asked.
"What do you mean, Jennifer?" Charli asked.
"It's Jenny," Jenny laughed "And what do ya' think of Chuck Berry?"
"Oh! I like him very much," Charli smiled.
"Jenny!" Mrs Jamison called up the stairs "Paul is here to see ya's"
"Send him up mum," Jenny called "We're just listening to records"
They heard a set of footsteps rushing up the stairs.
"Macca!" Jenny said excitedly as a boy around their age stood in the doorway grinning. He had dark hair, which he'd styled in a way that was popular amongst the teddy boys and soft hazel eyes. Charli stared a moment, nervous that there was a boy with them.
"Jen! What're ya's up to?" He asked happily.
"Just introducin' Charlotte here to proper music," Jenny said motioning to Charli.
"It's lovely to meet you," Charli said sweetly as she stood to greet him"Yer Mrs McCartney's boy, James?"
"Paul," he corrected raising an eyebrow sceptically "But, yeah...that's me mum"
Charli was silent a moment, she wasn't sure what she was feeling and was lost in her mind.
"Charlotte lives just a few houses down from you on Fortlin Road," Jenny said cutting the silence.
"Oh yeah," Paul smiled, "I think I've seen ya's about"
Charli was quiet again.
"Well, I just wanted ta' stop by and see what ya' were up to tonight," Paul said finally.
"Not much," Jenny laughed.
"Great! A few of us are catchin' up at the pier" Paul grinned.
"I'm always keen," Jenny said "I don't have to watch Simon tonight, what do ya's think, Charlotte..you wanna' join us?"
"Oh, um no I couldn't possibly," Charli said.
"Right.." Paul said "I should be off then"
"Oh come on Paulie," Jenny said, grabbing his arm "We were just listening to some Chuck Berry, you could tell Charlotte all about him"
Jenny had picked up on Charli's sudden change and shyness and decided to try playing matchmaker.
"I would if I could, Jen" Paul shrugged "I promised I'd meet up with Olivia this afternoon"
Charli felt herself sink, she wasn't sure what she was feeling but she didn't want him to go.
"I don't know what ya's see in her," Jenny sighed.
"She's usually up for a bit of snogging" Paul laughed "'sides, you never like any of the girls I date"
"I have to be picky since you aren't" Jenny teased.
"Right, I'll see ya's at the pier then?" Paul asked as he turned to leave.
"Yeah, I'll be there, go have yer snog" Jenny chided.
Charli watched as Paul left the hallway.
"Yer awfully quiet all of a sudden" Jenny smirked.
"Oh, I'm sorry..." Charli blushed. "I didn't mean to be"
Jenny smiled suddenly realising Charli may have gotten her first crush.
"What?" Charli asked.
"Nothin'," Jenny said innocently "Nothin' at all, you really should come to the pier this evening"
"I'd like that Jennifer," Charli smiled. "But my parents.."
"Someday, I'll get ya's to call me Jenny" Jenny laughed. "And I'll come talk to yer parents with ya's"
Charli laughed nervously. She really liked her time with Jenny, she wasn't used to being informal, however.
"Um, Jenny?" she said.
"See? That wasn't so hard" Jenny teased, nudging her slightly. Charli laughed.
"Can I borrow yer Chuck Berry record?" she asked.
Jenny grinned "Of course! Yer always welcome to borrow my records, you're my friend after all"
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A/N: This one took me a wee while to write and turned out pretty long. So, it's a small glimpse into Charli before she met Jenny and Paul and how those friendships began. I will have some happier chapters coming up ;) and I keep getting hit with more ideas...I would just call this a sequel, but no. considering how long the original is, it wouldn't really work...so they're just little vignettes I guess lol. Plus, I can kind of not worry about the order. Anyway, there's no youtube vid for the song :( but follow the SoundCloud link...the song is pretty appropriate for Charli's family situation. As always, thank you for reading and likes/comments = love ;)
https://squirrelflower.bandcamp.com/track/heavy-3
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