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Gulaab POV

Pulling the ropes of the horse, my back crashed into his chest as the horse neighed. 

I laughed feeling excited and nervous at the same time. The horse started walking slowly initially. I felt like bouncing a little on its back. 

"He likes you," Sultan stated keeping her chin on my shoulder the way he always does. 

I laughed and increased the speed of it. It started running and the trees standing along the path felt like running with us. My hair strands flew in the air along with the speed.

I focused on the path as I never saw this much speed. 

"It's amazing," I declared.

"Already,"

I felt his hands holding the ropes over my hands. His grip tightened and I slid my hands slowly from his hold.

My gaze shifted to his face looking into his eyes over my shoulder. He pulled the ropes and the horse felt like fire.

He increased his speed and we both bent a little forward with the effect. My eyes denied to stay open as the chilly air was hitting my eyes, my hairs flew and my face felt crushed in front of the air.

"Oh My God,"

He made the horse run through the forest, the dust, the wild wind and the uneven surface of land.

I felt as if I was on cloud nine. Suddenly he held the ropes tightly with one hand and his other hand snaked around my waist.

I tilted my head sidewards as he placed his chin on my shoulder. He kissed my cheek a little and made the horse run a little more faster.

My heart beats started racing insanely with the speed and route. We had started climbing the mountain now.

"Where are we going Sultan?" I asked hesitantly.

"Somewhere," he told.

"Very precise answer," I commented.

He chuckled and said.

"It's been eight years since I lost Shabana,"

His voice were rough and hoarse.

I looked at his face above my shoulder.

"Today?"

He nodded and I pulled the rope of the horse to slow down and stop.

"I think we should stop running now," I muttered.

He nodded and stepped down from the horse. He helped me too to step down.

I held his hand and we both sat under a tree. The dry leaves and slightly chilly whether felt beautiful. Also, the warm sunlight was soothing.

"Sultan, do you miss her?" I asked.

"Ofcourse," he stated.

I could feel his voice tensed and upset.

"I can never forget her. You know, I saw her lifeless body when I came back from the war. Her skin turned blue because of poison. Her veins highlighted as if her skin turned extremely thin. A part of me died that day,"

A tear fell from his eyes.

I cupped his and he held my wrist.

"Sultan, I don't know what to say but yes, no one can take her place,"

"You know, I always brought gifts for her whenever I come back from war or a trip. But, she never jumped out of excitement. She always checked how many wounds I got,"

I didn't know but I was feeling sad and tense hearing him saying all these. He never opened up about it to me. I washed his tears and he kissed my palm a little.

"You know Gulaab, I really felt died when I saw her dead. I felt as if there is no use of empire, Butlers, fame and name when you lost your love,"

"Sultan, please calm down,"

Seeing him in this state was making my finger shiver and my heart pain.

"I didn't know what would I do now. I was so lost, so lonely, never knew that my life would be blissful again," his lips trembling while saying all this.

"But then you came in my life and you sew all my wounds. I didn't know how I fall for you, why and when? But, please tell me I didn't betray her," his eyebrows thinned in a row as he asked.

My heart shattered in pieces when he said that. Did he mean, he thought that his love for me was betrayal with her?

"No, you never betrayed her, Sultan," I stated and continued.

"You never gave me her place and nor I deserve. Your love for her is divine and eternal. I have seen in your eyes. I never felt that you forgot her and I don't think you can ever be. It's just we were broken and found each other as the saviours. Or if you think, you are betraying her staying with me, you can leave me. And I mean it. All I want you to be happy be it with anyone. You taught me, love isn't about possessing, it's about sacrificing, how much you can,"

He lifted his gaze to me and pulled me in a hug.

"I am missing her, Gulaab, and I love you so much that I can't even describe. I didn't know the meaning of my life until you came into my life. It was always been war, winning and Kingdom. But, now I know how you feel alive in the presence of true love and why this is way peaceful then even crowning the world,"

He hid his face in my neck and I felt his breath calming down.

"I know you must be missing her very much. But, I am sure she must be feeling hurt seeing you in this condition. She is always alive in your memory and this is important,"

I feathered his hair as he calmed down still hugging me.

"Thank you for being with me, Gulaab,"

He muttered and I kissed his hair.

"Thank you for keeping me with you,"

He smiled releasing the hug and we both sat in silence.

I was looking at him and he was staring at me.

In the middle of woods, on the height of the mountain, with the soothing sunlight falling on our bodies, we talked in our language.

It was soothing to another level. It was beautiful and peaceful.

We stayed there until the faded noise of horses started traveling our ears.

"I think we should join the convoy now," I asked cupping his cheek lightly.

He blinked, his lashes looked so beautiful under the sunlight. He kissed my palm and muttered.

"Sure,"

We both stood up and dusted off our clothes a little. Sitting back on the horse, we both guided back to the convoy.

At the end of the day, we both joined them and then the journey continued for the next thirty-two days.

We traveled day and night and finally reached the Empire.

There was a change in our bonding. It became stronger and better. There were no more trust issues and glitches between our love.

We both were welcomed by the people and asked to take a rest after the bath and dinner.

It was almost night and we both slept together. It was really long and tiring journey.

I woke up when the noise of birds travel down my ears. I yawned and look at the sleeping face of Sultan.

I cupped his cheek and brushed a little. We were under the comforters as the winters were slightly on the peak.

He took a deep breath, his eyes denying to open. My sight fell on his messy hair. Unknowingly, I leaned in to kiss his forehead.

Stepping down from the bed, I went to do my morning businesses. I had to meet Zeenat Begum. Last night, we couldn't meet because we came late.

I asked Nagma to bring the breakfast there in her chamber.

I walked to her chamber and saw her feeding the Begum.

"Gulaab, come here, how are you?" She jumped in joy looking at me.

"I am good, Zeenat Begum, How are you?" I said greeting her.

She smiled at me and kept the baby on the bed as he slept. 

"Everything okay between you and Rafiq?" She asked in a slow voice.

I nodded and muttered.

"Yes, we had a small fight but now everything is sorted," I informed her.

"Did he fight with you? I mean he didn't talk to you last night," I asked as I noticed Sultan didn't talk to Zeenat Begum.

"He is angry with me," She stated.

"Why?" I asked.

"He got angry to know that I let you leave and didn't inform him either," She said with a sad tone.

"I am so sorry. I am the reason for all this," I apologized meaning each word of mine.

"No way, Gulaab, don't blame yourself, don't worry, he can't stay angry for a long time," She smiled.

"No Zeenat begum, I mean, it was all because of me. I should have waited for him at least before leaving in hurry," 

"Trust me, I would have done the same if he had thoughts of killing Ibrahim,"

I smiled and asked.

"How is Rehman? Did he miss his Choti Ammi?" 

I feathered the head of the baby and he yawned. He was in light sleep and he stared at me opening his eyes.

"Aww, my baby is awake," I took him in my arms and kissed his forehead.

"May God bless you, my son," Looking at him, the visuals of Abhinandan and Rajnandani blurred my sight.

"You know, Zeenat Begum, my sister-in-law gave birth to twins, one boy, and one girl," I informed her.

"Oh, really," She jumped in excitement.

"Tell me every detail of everything that happened," She asked and I chuckled.

"Of course,"

I spent the long time with her, telling her everything that happened in the last three months. Her face changed from shock to excitement then releaved at the end.

Suddenly we both stopped talking as we heard the footsteps of someone's approaching. And the much time I have spent with Sultan told me thats him.

He entered the chamber and looked at us.

His face still looked sleepy but refreshed. He worn light brown colored kurta today and damn he was looking hot today.

"How are you? Zeenat," he asked sitting beside Zeenat Begum.

He leaned in to kiss her forehead and she wished him.

"I am good, Sultan, how are you?" She asked kissing his hand.

"I am good, how is my baby?"

He asked taking Rehman in his arms.

He kissed his forehead and played with him. He pressed his cheeks lightly and he laughed. Rehman got the that fluffy, round cheeks that looked so beautiful. Also, his eyes was of green color. Whenever he laughs, a kind of happy wind revolve around us.

Sultan lied on the bed, making Rehman lie on his chest. Rehman was a welcoming child who laughs whenever someone plays with him. He laughed when Sultan played with him and I just feel so happy looking at them.

"Gulaab," Zeenat Begum said slowly to me without making it notice to Sultan.

"Yes," I muttered with the slow speed.

"I think, now you should also get pregnant. Sultan will have two babies at the same time to play with," she laughed.

I chuckled and muttered.

"Sultan don't want me to pregnant now. He takes care of it. Also, it's good for Rehman. I don't want his childhood to be shared now. Just look at this father-son bonding,"

Honestly, I mean it. Sultan never considered Rehman others child. He is so much fatherly to him.

"But,"

"Please, Zeenat Begum, Rehman is also our baby. Don't you dare to say it again, Sultan has his baby in his hand," I stated.

We three had the breakfast together and laughed on the senseless things. I was feeling happy that everything between us was smooth now. In between me and Sultan, in between Sultan and her and in between her and me.

The life became beautiful and happening now.

The days kept passing on, with growing love in me and Sultan, with growing bonding between Zeenat Begum and him. I did think sometimes and they should take their relationship to next level but their relation was of different kind. They always considered each other best friends and didn't have that feelings. They had respect for each other. But, honestly, only for Zeenat Begum, I didn't mind Sultan sharing his love. She was her responsibilty.

I did try to talk to him but there was not a single sign of that kind of relation between them. So, I had to give up. Also, Zeenat Begum was so much in love with Haider Bhaijaan that she never considered that he was no more. She always felt him around. And she was satisfied and happy with this only.

Badi Ammi left the Empire after Sultan gave her Hamid Sultanate. He said, the officials of Hamid would only make her feel that she was a queen but all the decisions were taken by Sultan.

Two years had been passed, our bonding became stronger with so many loving, caring and ups and down.

Sultan had became more devilish and hot when it comes to making love to me. He never leaves chance to make me blush harder. The bond was still like the same and new one.

He had become more playful and naughty now. More demanding and loving. He never leaves chance to make love to me. This shouldn't be revealed but one day he was busy in his library, late night. He was going through some official documents and I went to ask him to sleep. But, the plan changed and he ended up doing it on the table. He made me a mess that day.

Also, in hammam, and even in most uncomfortable situations. He didn't leave chance to turn me on but took all the care to not make me pregnant. The reason being he wanted me to grow a little older to be a mother. I knew, the perfect husband. His love was insane and magical.

I didn't only became stronger but happier and blissful. All the negetivity had left me.

Nowadays, since Rehman turned two years old. Sultan decided to make him the legal hier and announce Zeenat Begum to be the caretaker of the Hamid Sultanate. He told me that, whenever Badi Ammi will leave this life, he would appoint Zeenat Begum to be the Queen of throne along with him.

And he would announce me to be the Queen of Darmiyan Sultanate with him. Honestly, I never wanted any throne or Sultanate. His love and trust in me was enough. But, he helped me to grow stronger, better and newer person.

"Begum,"

I came out of my thoughts when he called me suddenly.

I stood up from bed and looked at him. He just came back from Hamid after Zeenat Begum and his crowning ceremony. I came back from there earlier because I was feeling sick.

My head was bursting with pain and my appetites were lost.

"Are you okay?" He asked hugging me a little.

"Yes, now I am okay but feels like throwing out frequently," I informed.

He made me sit back on the bed and asked.

"Did you call the physician?" He asked.

"No, I will be okay, may be due to seasonal changes,"

"Or may be there is a good news," Zeenat Begum's invoice interrupted us.

No, please I wanted to tell on his birthday. I screamed from inside.

"No, there isn't like that," I smiled fake.

Sultan looked at me with the shocking eyes.

"Nagma," he called with the loud voice and within a few moments Nagma came running to us.

"Call the physician now," he ordered.

Zeenat Begum sat beside me holding her widest smile and asked.

"Rafiq, I want a dimond set of red rubies,"

I giggled.

"Keep two," he smiled back.

His face turned tensed and emotional, looking impatient.

"Oh my god," he held my fingers. His fingers felt cold.

I laughed and looked at Zeenat Begum.

"Gulaab, I think you should tell him,"

"Zeenat Begum, I wanted to tell him on his birthday, after three days,"

His face turned shocked, smilingly as he looked at me.

"Tell me now, please," his face looked soft and cute when he asked me like that. Sitting in front of me on his knees, he kissed my fingers and asked.

"Say it,"

I smiled and cupped his cheeks. Leaning in I kissed his forehead.

"I think, I should leave," Zeenat Begum said and I laughed at her.

She kissed my cheek and muttered.

"I want details next morning,"

Sultan chuckled as she left us alone.

"Say it, please!"

I sucked on my lips as I revealed.

"You are going to be father soon," His eyes turned teary and he laughed.

He came closer and hovered over me, kissing on my cheek.

I giggled under him.

"Say it again," he asked looking into my eyes.

I cupped his cheek and kissed him.

"Sultan is going to be a father soon. His wife is pregnant,"

He kissed my forehead and I looked at his tear of joys.

"Oh my god," he kissed my cheeks and I blushed harder.

"I love you so freaking much, Gulaab,"

He muttered and placed his lips on mine. He kissed me lightly and looked into my eyes.

Suddenly, I pushed him aside with all my force as I felt like throwing up.

I ran to the bathing room.

He called me.

"Begum,"

He ran after me and I threw up.

It was extremely new and difficult.

He patted my back slightly and helped me.

He hugged me when I finished washing my face and hands.

"Thank you so much for making me the luckiest person in the world,"

He muttered and took me back to the room.

Those nine month passed very hardly. I became weak, as I couldn't feel like eating anytime. Also, whenever I eat, the smell of food made me feel like throwing up. Sultan became very caring, he took care of my medicines and food. Sometimes, he had to deal with my mood swings and I wanted to laugh and cry sometimes. He never left my side.

Sometimes, he help me oil my hair and comb them. He felt bad that I lost my hair a lot in pregnancy.

"This baby is making my wife sick," he complaint combing my hair.

My stomach turned big and I felt difficulty in walking and doing work.

"Same like father," I chuckled.

Suddenly, the baby kicked in my big fat tummy and I felt like hurt, happy and excited all of sudden.

I laughed and cried and Sultan looked at me with big eyes.

Those small moments made my life beautiful.

He even sent letter to my brother about us. Like we were fine and I was pregnant. So thoughtful.

Zeenat Begum also took care of mine a lot. She was more like an elder sister to me.

Finally, the day came when the labouring pain hit me. It was too much to handle.

Sultan eyes turned teary looking at me struggling state. For some time, I felt as I would die. But, he hand never left mine when I cried in pain. He patted my head and I felt his fingers shivering and trembling when he saw me delivering the babies.

The physician asked him to leave me on them but he denied. He never left my suddenly.

Finally, the cries of babies heard by us. Yes, they were babies. Twins. I was blessed too.

Now I knew why it was extremely difficult and why Sultan wanted me to be fine before I become mother. He was absolutely right.

"Congratulations Sultan, one boy and one girl," he cried and kissed my forehead. I was almost passed out but the physician asked me to feed the babies.

"Oops, now I have to share my belongings with them," Sultan pouted when he saw me feeding the baby girl.

Her face was small, body fragile and crimson red. She struggled to take the milk initially but Zeenat Begum helped me.

The life turned blissful with the arrival of our babies. But, then the conflict happened between Sultan and Zeenat Begum to name the babies. Zeenat Begum loves them like Rehman and even Rehman turned older. He laughed looking at his little brother and sister.

I was out of the war as I liked them to name the babies.

"Ruhani," Sultan called his daughter. I smiled as it was a beautiful name.

"Umm," Zeenat Begum thought for sometime holding the baby boy in her hands.

"Haider," I interrupted.

Both of them looked at me.

"Haider?" Sultan asked.

"Ji, I know you both miss Bhaijaan a lot. If you don't mind, I want to name him Haider so that we all feel his presence and blessings on us,"

Zeenat Begum smiled.

"And he born on his birth date too,"

"Haider," Sultan muttered and kissed the baby.

"Thank you, Gulaab, very thoughtful of you," Zeenat Begum said kissing my cheeks.

The days passed on and Sultan decided to meet badi Ammi. She was sick now, on her death bed. Her last wish was to see all the three kids.

We all turned so emotional when she passed out. But, at last she blessed all the three kids wholeheartedly.

I was glad for it. That at the end everything became sorted.

When the babies turned one, Sultan announced his and mine crowing ceremony. He didn't want to announce it before because he was afraid that people won't accept me.

But now, I became mother of his babies and his heir. A grand celebration was made on their birthdays and our crowing ceremony in Darmiyan Sultanate.

The turned blissful and happy.

Time kept passing and passing. But, one thing never changed. Sultan and my love for each other. Sometimes, we both sit and talk about it from starting and laugh on ourselves. Our babies started turning big day by day. As we knew, Sultan was the best father for all the three kids. He took extra care of their education, health and training but his special love was for his daughter.

He loved her so freaking much and the was with her. She loves her father more than anything.

Sometimes, Sultan's sister arrives at the Sultanate and we all get the chance to meet Hayat and kainat. Those two girls were always his favourite.

Well, at the end everything was good. I and Sultan also shared a lot of shayaris together. This was love.

But, I never thought that my life would change like this after meeting him. I mean, never in my whole life I saw a man like him. He had more emotions and feelings than any other man. Initially, I thought he would throw me in jail. But, he never did.

Never he made me feel that I belong to the different caste or religion and culture. He accepted me with his whole heart and so do I. The one thing I learnt meeting him was a person should be judged on his own not on his caste, religion or status. Because, that was temporary. One day we all would leave this. This body, caste, religion and life but our soul is immortal and eternal. It's truth and divine. And the love should be made to that soul not the skin.

True, I was lucky and blessed to get a husband like him. He accepted me with all the odds and made me perfect rather than finding a perfect one.

I do love him a lot.

Now, he must be playing with his kids outside and I am finishing this story of his and mine on the paper. It was long and had a lot of ups and down. But, I wanted to pen it down so that the generations would learn and that all man aren't the same, a religion, caste, culture and status don't define a person.

"Ammiiiiiiiii,"

I shivered when all the three kids ran to me.

"Ammi, Haider is hungry," Rehman said. The big brother. He was very caring for Ruhani and Haider.

"Rehman, you aren't hungry," I asked pulling him closer in my arms.

He laughed and blushed.

"Yes, me too," I kissed his forehead and muttered. "Just wait, I will bring some food for you all,"

Honestly, my love was little more for Rehman. I didn't know but I felt more attached to him. Like he was my first son.

"Ammi, Abbu told that he like long hairs, please give me some of yours," Ruhani begged and I thinned my eyebrows.

They were still small only four years old.

"He said it, don't believe him, he is stupid," they laughed.

"Don't you dare, Gulaab to teach kids rubbish thing," Zeenat Begum laughed entering the chamber.

"Did you finish the book?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Just now,"

"When are you going to give it to me to read?"

She asked.

"After me," Sultan interrupted.

"I will read first,"

We all laughed and that's how the bleeding rose turned into red again. That's how two broken souls find each other and learn to live with their loss. We all had stories. And I learnt it that my problem wasn't the biggest one.

IN LOVE WITH SULTAN RAFIQ SULAIMAN

Author's note -

Okay, so this is something I decided to add after reading so many comments calling Gulaab dumb n all for consoling Rafiq when he was weak on the day her ex lover died.

You see, when you grow up in life and death becomes a really understandable thing to you. We lose our loved ones be it ex lover, grandparents, parents and even more.

But, the lose doesn't change the place we have for that someone in our heart be it anyone.

Just because the fact, that Sultan was missing his ex lover doesn't mean he doesn't love Gulaab. His love for Gulaab is even more than her. Consider it that way, he loved someone so deeply, still accepted her with all his heart means that her love is way stronger than the previous one. Even with the fact and deeply in love with the past, he loved Gulaab it means her presence and feeling over powered it.

For example - a step mother can't take place of a real mother.

But, Gulaab did this so whose love is more powerful?

And, one more thing... If you are a mature one and someone is crying in front of you about the loss of loved ones, you definitely not need to bash him and hate him for remembering her. It's just a moment which will pass away. It's just a moment when the past overpowers the present. I feel Sultan loves Gulaab more than a wife and a friend together because if he had considered her to be jealous of his ex lover, he had never cried in front of her.

Moving on doesn't mean forgetting past. And choosing your present to tell what you feeling doesn't make sense about not loving her.

Was it been wrong if Sultan cried over his mother or father or brother???

Then why it is wrong if he cried in front of her for his ex lover.

It's hypothetical that you saying what if she comes back... Well, we all know dead don't comes back. And even one should be enough mature to answer when someone is low and going through something terrible. This is not the right time to bring out the priority issues. The best to do is to console the person by agreeing some motivating words.

And trust me, if you have loved someone truly, deeply and madly. Doesn't matter if you start hating him afterwards, your inner consciousness will never stop missing him occassionally.

And, I think Gulaab had become more powerful by accepting what was true. Loving someone doesn't make you forget someone else. Moving on doesn't erase your memory.

Some of you just thought it from the feminist and possessive perspective. Like we can't accept our man crying for other woman. How can he cry for her in front of Gulaab. Why don't he love her more? Why the hell there is comparison?? I ask. Past is past, as simple as that. One can literally miss his ex lover, ex wife, ex girlfriend or anyone. It doesn't amount to cheating and not loving the present one. These are hell two different things. It's practically impossible to forget someone who died for you, even if you start loving someone else.

I mean, where is the so called maturity. We face so many breakups, losses in our life. Can't someone cry on that with his wife.

Let's take an example - You loved someone and due to some issues, you couldn't marry him. Obviously, over the period of time you will start loving your husband and start forgetting the old one. Now there is two things when you are low and somewhere on some occasions remember your past. One, you hide it from your current lover and cry in alone which will make you weak and bring distances in your relationship. Second, you just share your vulnerability with your partner and if he is mature enough, he will console you right. And I am damn sure that this will take your relationship to another level and another love. Because, now you have got more reasons to love him more.

The thing Gulaab said to Sultan definitely made him forget about Shabana anymore and moreover he fell in love with her even deeply. Because, that is true love, remember unconditionally. And, if you can't share your pain with your loved ones, I don't think there is anything trustworthy in your love. The real lover remains yours even in the painful situations.

I hope, my perspective had made sense to you and didn't fly over your head.

Still, if you think, I will add bonus chapters clarifying the thought process of Sultan after that scene.