It's Sunday morning. I'm pulling down the street towards my mom's house and see Sanders' truck in the driveway. I pull in right behind him. He's leaning against his door talking to Grace...in Spanish. I hop out, laughing, yet nothing I'm witnessing is funny. My laughter holds behind it one message and one message only...someone's gonna die, and it isn't Grace.

"First of all Sanders," I begin on a chuckle, "you don't park in a man's driveway." My laughter stops abruptly. My eyes don't leave him and I continue, "Hi Grace. Do your big brother a favor and go inside."

"Hey Trav." Grace responds, but doesn't turn to go, as she stands twirling her hair.

"Now Grace."

"Ugh. Fine," she responds. Turning, she makes her way into the house and the screen door slams shut behind her.

"What up Bro?" Sanders steps up to me and goes in for knuckles. Face stone cold, I stand with my arms folded in front of me and watch him as he fist bumps the air to completion. "Sorry about parking in the driveway man. No need to get all crazy on my ass," he adds, both hands waving quickly in front of him as he breaks into a laugh.

I say nothing.

As though the pieces have suddenly fallen into place and he understands my irritation he says, "Dude, please don't tell me you're upset that I was out here talking to Grace?" He looks appalled. "I'm hurt Travis. So hurt, really man." He turns and begins walking towards the front door.

"I heard you speaking Spanish to her," I reply.

He suddenly stops. "Ohhh," he says.

I step up beside him and smack him in the back of the head. "Don't let it happen again Sanders."

"Alright Bro. Geez," he responds as he eyes me from the side.

"I mean it man. Not Grace."

"Okay, okay. Fair enough Rocky," he responds as he turns to face me. Busting into a smile, he begins to bounce back and forth on the balls of his feet like a boxer, as he simulates punching me in the stomach. "Thought you were going to beat my ass, didn't ya? That's so cute Mijo," he says on a chuckle.

"Don't push me Sanders," I respond, my voice firm, an eyebrow lifted. His movements slow to a stop and the joking look on his face is gone.

"So testy, geez," he responds, like I've hurt his feelings.

"If I was testy, you'd be dead."

He nods in understanding and replies, "Yes, but admit it Brennan, even you can't fight the sexy." He takes off running, opens the screen door, and stomps up the stairs to my room, bellowing out in laughter as he goes.

I can't help but laugh too. "Fucker," I shake my head and walk into the house just as Grace is heading out the door with her backpack hanging off her shoulder.

"Where you off to Squirt?"

"I'm going to Jen's to do homework. We have a project due."

"Mom at church?" I ask.

"Yep. See you later?" she questions as she make her way down the steps, stopping to look back at me.

"Not sure," I respond.

"Kay. Well, I Iove you Trav, and can you tell Sanders I said goodbye," she replies with a huge grin.

"Love you too Squirt. Be safe," I say, ignoring her request about Sanders completely.

I make my way upstairs and into my room where I find Sanders laying on the bed tossing my football above himself repeatedly. "Comfortable?" I ask.

"Yeah, your bed is way more comfortable than our bunks back at base. Mind if I catch a quick nap?" He smirks.

I grab the ball out of the air the next time he throws it up. "Sit up Sanders. We need to talk."

I asked him to meet me here because it would give us an opportunity to talk openly without fear of being overheard. My mom and Grace are gone on Sundays.

"Dude, I was kidding...obviously." He sits up. "What's going on with you Brennan? You've been jumping my shit since I got here." He stares at me with an irritated, quizzical look on his face.

I pull my desk chair out and take a seat. "Sorry man," I begin on a sigh. "Shit's just starting to get to me I guess. Had a 'date' with Hot Doctor last night."

"Ohhh." He nods in acknowledgement. "Well, how did it go with the ice queen?"

"It went. She had me over to her place." I lean back in the chair, the back legs holding all my weight. "It's a few miles away from the compound."

"And?"

"And...she made me dinner," I respond as I bring my weight forward so all four legs are again touching the ground.

"Annnnd, I can see you don't want to talk about it. So, I'm gonna take a piss and tell you what I heard last night when I get back. Is it cool if I grab something to drink?" He stands.

"Sure man. Help yourself. There should be lemonade in the fridge," I respond and he walks out of the room.

I'm not trying to be evasive, I just haven't quite processed what went down with Hot Doctor, and I'm kind of irritated about the whole fucking thing. Nothing major happened besides our kiss at the end of the night.

I knew if I didn't give her what she wanted, she'd move on, she's definitely the put up or shut up type, and I need her. I need the access she has that will help me escape with Maddie, if or when that time comes. So I sucked it the fuck up and did what I had to do.

She had walked me to the front door and opened it, then turned back, staring at my mouth as she thanked me for coming over. That's when she grabbed my shirt in her fist and pulled me into her. The kiss started out soft and slow. With my left hand, I held the back of her head and at the same time she put her arms around my neck. The kiss grew a bit more heavy, and that's when she took my bottom lip between her teeth and slowly let it go. I took back control, allowing my tongue to go deeper, exploring her mouth as I pushed her up against the wall. She let out a little groan into my mouth, and I felt her body soften against mine as she finally submitted complete control.

I knew she wanted more from me, and I could've taken more. I could've shut the door and easily led her down the hall and into her bedroom, but instead I stopped the kiss there. With both of us out of breath, I looked down at her, took her hand, and thanked her for an amazing dinner. I gave her one more quick kiss, turned and walked out the door. It wasn't like it was a bad kiss. She definitely knew what she was doing. It just felt wrong. I felt like I was going through the motions, but my heart wasn't in it. I kept fuckin thinking of Maddie, wishing it was her.

It's not like I haven't dated before. I've been out on plenty, and Maddie always knew about them. In fact, she'd be there with me sometimes watching as I got ready. That also began to bother me as I was driving back to base. I wondered how I was ever able to be with another girl. Understandably because of our age difference, for the longest time Maddie wasn't even an option. I didn't look at her that way. Girls began to take an obvious interest in me when I was about fourteen. Maddie was only eleven. So like any boy, I ate that shit up. In fact, I lost my virginity that same year. At that point Maddie was too young, so I get why I did what I did. But as she got older, I still went on dates, even when her attraction to me became obvious.

In my head I knew the girls I dated didn't compare to her, none of them even came close. But Maddie didn't know that. It must've hurt her, and while I could've been spending my time with her, kissing her, holding her, letting her know how much she meant to me... I wasted time with other girls because I was too fucking afraid to risk being with her, scared I might lose her someday. What a selfish prick I was. And the thought that Maddie may never know how I feel about her... absolutely guts me.

Sanders walks back in the room pulling me abruptly from my thoughts. "I made a sandwich too. I hope that's cool," he says as he takes a bite and sits on the bed, a glass of lemonade in hand.

"That's cool, so what did you hear last night?" I ask, glad to get a reprieve from my own mind.

"Well, Peters was on duty at the compound last night, said some intel came in from a couple of civilians who work for the Militia. They have a place up in Albuquerque. Their house is located within 10 miles of some training facility the military uses sometimes. They take care of it, husband does maintenance, the wife cooks for the soldiers, more cost efficient I guess. Anyway, they only stay there when they know troops will be training. The rest of the year, they live in L.A. They just got back yesterday and said someone had been staying there while they were gone. Actually they think it was few people, possibly a male and a female. Both of them had clothes taken along with some other supplies, books, random shit."

"Was there anything left behind?" It couldn't be Maddie, or could it? But with a guy? Nah, and just the thought irritates me, so I quickly push it out of my head.

"Not from what they saw. The husband tried to track the direction the quads had gone, looking for tracks but said it was impossible. They had high winds there this last week, blew any tire imprints away I guess."

"Are they sending anyone to investigate further?" I ask.

"No, from what I understand, the husband's on point. If there's anything useful to us, he's knowledgeable enough to see it and report it."

"Well, it makes sense that it would be a Breeder. Anyone coming from Dallas or L.A. is likely to pass through Albuquerque on their way up to Canada," I respond.

"Right. From what I've heard, Dallas is much more privy to the intel about the free nation. They've managed to keep L.A. in the dark. Fuck, I didn't even know N.Y. or Dallas had people living there until I joined the Militia."

"Neither did I. There was talk of a "free nation" but I honestly doubted it even existed. Makes you wonder what twisted shit our government is involved in besides the breeding business. Why so many fucking secrets?"

"Why hide Dallas and NY from L.A?" Sanders asks.

"Easier to control everyone, avoid any uprising," I respond.

He changes gears, "So I've been asking around about where the girls go once they're pregnant."

"And? Did you get anything?"

"Everyone is pretty fuckin tight lipped. Hard to get any intel, at least anything substantial," he says disappointed.

"Well, from what I understand from Hot Doctor, the underground tunnels are not just used as bunkers or to bring in supplies. They're also used to transport pregnant Breeders to the other side of the mountain, right behind the compound. She said that's where they live and birth their babies."

"Seriously?" he asks looking hopeful.

"Yeah. She said there's a whole other world that happens on the other side of that mountain. I didn't push for more. Didn't want her to get suspicious but I'm hoping-"

"My sister's over there?" He interrupts.

"Yeah man. I'm trying to find out what I can."

"Fuck Travis, thank you. I know Maddie is your first priority. I owe you man. I really do," he says with gratitude.

"Anything I can do to help you. I know you'd do the same for me." And I mean that, I know he would.

He nods in response. "Of course. So, what's your plan with Hot Doctor? I'm honestly surprised she gave up anything."

"I was too. Sometimes I felt like she was the one scoping me out. I don't know. It was subtle, so I can't quite put my finger on it, but something was up with her."

"Will you be seeing her again?" he asks.

"No definite plan, but it'll happen." And like everything else these days, it'll happen regardless of whether I want it to or not. It's for Maddie though...and she, more than anything or anyone... is fucking worth it.

***AUTHORS NOTE***
Ah! Swoon.
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