I'm staring at my fingers soaked in red blood. I almost want to laugh out of pure hysteria. I've started my period and the impossibility of the situation hits me. A million thoughts fight for the forefront of my mind, yet I can't seem to grasp a single one.

I take a deep breath and try to calm my mind. Lowering my body to the ground, I take a seat on my bathroom floor and close my eyes. I can feel my body shaking, rocking back and forth. What the hell am I going to do? All odds say this shouldn't be happening, yet here I am.

What I feel most in this moment is fear. I'm terrified. Terrified of what this means for me, for my family. It feels as though my life is slipping through my fingers, and I know with the conviction of every bone in my body that my only option is to run.

The Militia will be doing their routine sweeps of our city any day now, and that means I have to act fast. I can't risk being found out. One quick test and they'll know. They're looking for girls just like me, the ones who can reproduce, the "Breeders." I won't let that be my life.

Some girls go willingly, families sacrificing them for the greater good; others are taken and a few have even run, but the circumstances don't change the result. None of the girls are ever seen or heard from again. It's a fact, but we've been raised to turn a blind eye. No one wants to talk about it, but I've heard rumors. Rumors that the runners don't survive, rumors that the Breeders are locked up, free will stripped away. The rumors that I'm hoping, praying, are true are the ones of a free nation, a community without government control, free of forced breeding. I have to believe that this is true, because it's my only plan.

I'm already making a mental list of everything I need to do before I can go, what I need to pack, when I suddenly realize I can't say goodbye. Not to my family, not even Travis, my best friend. Tears threaten to fall, but I hold them in, reminding myself to be strong. If I'm going to do this, make it on my own, I have to be brave. The Militia will immediately question my family and friends about my disappearance. If they know anything, their lives are at risk and I can't do that to them.

I wish I could ask Travis to come with me, but he has his mother and sister to look after. Putting him in that position, to choose between them and me, is out of the question.

A loud pounding pulls me out of my thoughts. "Maddie, are you okay? Dinner's ready." It's my mom at the door. I tell myself again that this is my only option. I have to suck it up and make it so that they don't know the life altering decision I'm about to make.

I take another deep breath and relax my shoulders. I can do this. I can do this. "Yeah Mom, I'll be right out." I push myself up from the bathroom floor and get to my feet.

I quickly fix myself up and wash my hands, drying them on my pants. I move to open the door, but my hand pauses on the handle. I just need one more second to compose myself. My heart is pounding, but I paste on the best smile I can muster and open the door.

My mom is waiting for me and wraps an arm around my shoulders, guiding me down the hall. I take the time to look over at her, really look at her, and observe the things I will miss, things I realize I have taken for granted. Like the kind smile and loving eyes she is giving me right now. She squeezes me closer, and I wrap my arm around her, hugging her back. We round the corner into the kitchen, and my dad is sitting in the dimly lit room holding a candle. As we move closer, I see that he is actually holding a cupcake with a single lit candle on top.

My mouth opens wide, "What is this for?"

"Happy birthday Maddie!" They say together.

That's right, I'm turning seventeen. Wait. I look from my dad to my mom, "My birthday isn't until tomorrow."

She gives me another squeeze and releases me to sit down at the table with my father. I notice the look they're exchanging. Sympathy? Or worry?... Shit. Do they know? "What's going on?" I shift around uncomfortably, waiting for an answer.

They finally look back at me and my mother answers, "Your father and I have heard that the Militia will be doing sweeps starting tomorrow morning and we just didn't want to ruin your birthday by celebrating it on such an awful day. We know how stressful and invading it can be. We just... we wanted it to be a good memory."

She doesn't realize how hard her words hit me, how true they are. The tears I've managed to hold in the past few hours start to fall, "Thank you. That means a lot... more than you know." I quickly wipe away the few tears that escaped, not wanting to look like a big baby crying over a cupcake.

"Come sit down sweetheart, let's eat," my dad says as he motions me to the table.

I walk over and take a seat next to him, directly across from my mom. My stomach is churning and eating is the last thing I feel like doing, but I know I need to. I manage to take just a few bites, but then find myself mindlessly looking around the room. Our kitchen is small, made up of four plain walls, only the bare essentials filling the space. The rest of our house is just the same. We have what we need and nothing more. It's how everyone lives now.

Our home is in Los Angeles. What was once a city amongst thousands in this country, is now the one and only. The entire continent's population lives here.

This is the world I've always known, but my parents have lived differently. When they first got married the world was full of people, something like seven billion. Life was filled with entertainment, amusement... choice. They could do whatever they wanted with their lives. It's something I can't even fathom, to just live. That's such a crazy concept, but my parents have experienced it.

My mom had just found out that she was pregnant with me when the plague hit. She said it spread so far and so fast that it had killed millions in a matter of weeks. The government had rushed to find the cause and create a cure, but by the time they produced and administered the mandatory vaccines, millions more had died. The vaccine quickly slowed the virus and how many it was killing, but when the nightmare was over, the world's population had shrunk by billions. And it didn't end there. The vaccines didn't go through normal testing because of the rush to create them, and the result was a horrific defect causing mass infertility. Even women who were already pregnant started to miscarry. There was a small percentage of women, my mother included, who managed to carry to full term and give birth, but the new generation has continued to be infertile.

So here I am, living in a world that is dying off faster than it can reproduce, and I have started my period, an almost guaranteed sign of fertility. Should I be volunteering to save the human race? Will it be cowardly of me to run? My gut tells me no on both counts. Something is very wrong here, and I am not sticking around to find out.

I realize I have become lost in my thoughts and glance up to see my mom staring at me with sympathy in her eyes. She gives me a tight smile. She must equate my withdrawn state to my being nervous for what tomorrow brings. If she only knew.

Our meal comes to an end, and I help clear the table. We wash the dishes together silently. I wish I had more to say, but I can't find the words. I am going to miss them so much.

We finish drying the dishes and head out of the kitchen. I grab my cupcake off the table as I leave the room, my parents following behind. We're walking down the hall to our bedrooms, and I feel my time running out. If the Militia are coming tomorrow, then I have to leave tonight. I knew I would have to go soon, but now I have no time at all. It feels like the walls are closing in on me. I need to say goodbye, but how?

I stop and turn around, facing my parents, "Mom, Dad? Thank you for this," I hold the cupcake up. "And I... I just want to tell you guys that I love you. So much. I hope you know that." I bite my lip in a desperate attempt to draw the pain away from my chest.

"Oh, of course honey!" My mom says as she steps forward and wraps me in her arms.

"We love you too Maddie." And my dad joins us.

This is just what I needed, the warmth of their hugs, the closest thing I can get to a goodbye.

We separate and say our goodnights.

Once I'm in my room, I set the cupcake down on my dresser and head straight for the bed and flop down, face first. I take a few shaky breaths. I can't believe this is my life right now. It's so unfair. I let myself cry, soaking the blanket beneath me. I can feel sorry for myself, even if just for a few minutes. Maybe if I let it all out now, I can put these feelings behind me so that when I leave here I can focus on what's most important- my survival.

I'm exhausted but there is still so much to do, so much to plan for. Reluctantly, I pull myself up from the bed and walk over to my closet to grab my backpack. I snag a few pairs of jeans and T-shirts off their hangers and tuck them inside. Next, I head back over to my dresser and grab a sweater, some underwear, a few pairs of socks, and some cash I have hidden away and throw them in. I start to reach for my cell on top of the dresser but stop myself. It won't work outside the city limits anyway, and the Militia can probably use it to track me down somehow.

I wander around the house gathering the rest of what I'll need, some food from the cupboard, a hunting knife, rope, a lighter, and some water bottles I find in the garage. I grab a few things from the bathroom too, including some rolls of toilet paper, because it's the only thing I can think of using to stop from bleeding all over myself. I can't think of anything else to pack, so I head back to my room and set my backpack down on the floor next to my bed.

I start undressing while moving towards the closet. I reach for a pair of black jeans and pull them on, followed by a plain black shirt. I shrug on my only heavy jacket and grab my boots, heading back over to my bed. I tug them on and lace them up, laying back onto the mattress when I'm done. I want to make sure my parents are asleep before I go. I don't want them to hear me leaving and ruin my plans before they've even begun.

I lay like that awhile, staring at the ceiling, tugging on my bracelet, while my thoughts drift to Travis. I've put off thinking about him long enough. I really can't bear the thought of never seeing him again. I know he will be pissed when he finds out what I've done. I just hope he understands why.

We have been friends for as long as I can remember, and somewhere along the way he became my person, my best friend. We just get each other. He can make me laugh so hard that I forget about everything going on around us. I know that I can talk to him about anything, my doubts and fears. Well, all but one. Breeding is a subject that has always been off the table for me. It's not that I don't want to confide in him, I just can't. I've kept my fears about it so close to me for so long. It's almost like I knew that it would affect my life in a much bigger way than most. He's never pushed me to talk about it and I'm so thankful for that, especially now.

"Crap," I exhale on a shaky breath. I'm going to miss him the most.

Travis is a beautiful human, both inside and out. I've known of my attraction to him for a while now, but he's three years older than me, and it never occurred to me that he might like me too or be attracted to me in the same way. He's also never said anything to make me believe otherwise. There are the little things he does though, that make me wonder now. Like the way his eyes light up when he sees me or how he tucks my hair behind my ears. The way he softly grabs my face to make me look at him when he's talking about something important. The way he always compliments me.

Then, of course, there's our almost kiss... I think. It was a few weeks ago, and we were at our usual spot, the top of an old business building halfway between our homes. We love to sit on the edge and watch the city lights while we talk about everything and nothing at all. We were discussing what it would be like to have a family of our own one day, if that were possible, in a different world.

"To have someone who would want that with me, love me that much, would be amazing!" I had gushed. I turned to look up at him and he was frowning, biting his lip, looking torn about something.

"Yeah, I could see that for you. Easily." He ran his fingers through his dark brown hair, making him look even hotter. He shifted and looked down at me, grabbing my chin in his hand, forcing me to look into his gorgeous, green eyes. His thumb caressed my cheek and I let out a little sigh, smiling up at him. He stared at me intently, slowly leaning towards me, and I remember thinking, Holy shit, is this really happening!? He is going to kiss me! Finally. My eyes slid shut, and I felt him moving closer and closer. My breath quickened, and my heart started pounding. I could feel his breath on my cheek, then at my ear. "You deserve that you know," he whispered and then released me. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding and opened my eyes to find him staring back out at the city.

Thinking back on it, I wish I had been brave enough to explore my feelings, to ask him how he felt about me, because now I'll never know. My heart breaks a little at that thought.

I immediately decide that I can't leave without letting him know that I care about him, more than he might realize. My attention drifts to the bracelet I'm still fidgeting with, and it hits me. He knows how much this bracelet means to me. It's a simple braided bracelet made of red and purple yarn, and it belonged to my older sister. She died when the plague hit, before I was born. My mom gave me her bracelet when I was little, and I have kept it on since. Even though I never knew my sister it has always made me feel connected to her in a small way.

The house is silent now except for the quiet hum of the refrigerator. I know it's time for me to go. I hope I'm making the right choice. I pick up my backpack and take a last look around my room before I switch the light off. I make my way through the house as quietly as possible. When I get to the front door I carefully turn the locks, ease the door open, and shut it behind me with a soft click.

I have one last stop to make. Luckily it's in the same direction I'm already heading, only a few blocks away. The streets are empty and quiet, and I try to stay in the shadows while I walk. I take a good look around me, knowing it's the last time I'll walk down this street. The plants are overgrown and the buildings are old and deteriorated, the result of years of neglect, because when the plague hit, life became about survival and most everything else fell to the wayside.

When I arrive at our spot, I head through the front door, climb the stairs to the very top of the building, and make my way over to the edge where Travis and I always sit. It takes me a while to untie the knot of my bracelet and when I finally get it off, my wrist feels naked. I look around for a good spot to put it, one that he won't miss, but will also keep the bracelet safe. There's a pipe that comes up from the floor, against the ledge. I tie the bracelet around the pipe, tight and secure.

There is nothing left for me to do now, only to find a way through the gates of our city and get away from here, as far and as fast as possible.

The stairs creak beneath me as I make my way to the bottom. I hop down onto the floor with a thud, exit the building, and begin to navigate my way out of the city. With only the sound of gravel crunching beneath my boots, I already feel so alone.

***Author's Note***

Do you think Maddie made the right choice?

**Thank you so much for taking the time to read Chapter 1. We would love your feedback, so please feel free to comment. If you've enjoyed this chapter you can vote for it by clicking the star. Also, please add Breeder Nation to your library if you'd like to continue this journey with us. We truly appreciate your support.

<333 Kara Michelle **

Also, please note that this story is presented to you in it's most raw, unedited form.

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