life couldn't be better for jaemin.

it was 3a.m., on a week day.

jaemin was wide awake, staring at his ceiling.

the doctor had announced him about his heart disease a week ago.

jaemin had been living with this secret on his arms for seven days...

once the doctor had told him, jaemin had sobbed hard.

a coronary heart disease? he didn't even know what that was!

but what he was sure of is that it sounded severe.

the doctor had explained to him that it was a disease in which the blood vessels that bring blood to your heart are damaged.

he had also told him that it was usually people with familial heart diseases, or smoking, or overweighted people that could have it. and also, people that didn't do enough physical activities. however, jaemin was none of that.

jaemin was a healthy idol, practicing every day, being careful with what he eats, and completely repulsed by the idea of having a death stick between his lips.

so, why? why him? why now?

he had walked out of the doctor's office after half an hour.

by then, he had dried all his tears, and managed to make his eyes look decent.

when taeyong and his manager had asked him what the doctor had said, he had lied through his teeth.

an angina.

that's what he had said. a big and strong angina.

thankfully, his two hyungs had caught the lie.

they had told jaemin to stay calm for a few days and stay in bed to rest the best he could.

and here he was, seven days later, up in the middle of the night because of his fear.

nothing was going right in his life.

why did it have to be him?

why did it have to be now?

jaemin stood up and walked out of his and jisung's room.

he grabbed his phone and got to the bathroom where he locked the door and sat down on the floor, his back resting against the sink.

he unlocked his phone, dialling his mother's number as hot tears escaped his eyes.

fortunately, his mother answered after two rings.

"jaemin, baby? why are you up this late? is everything alright?"

jaemin's mother was a nurse. and he was often working during the night shifts.

she was always reachable, at any time of the night.

jaemin had never though it was something this good until now.

"m-mom..." he told before loud sobs left his mouth.

he tried suppressing them using his arm to block any sound from leaving his mouth. but it wasn't enough.

"jaemin? is there something wrong? please, answer me."

"i-i... i feel like shit." jaemin said.

"jaemin, listen to me." jaemin's mother spoke. "do you want me to come to the dorm?"

jaemin nodded vigorously before recalling that he was on the phone, and so, that his mother couldn't see him.

"y-yes..."

"i'll be there in 10 minutes. i love you."

jaemin hung up.

he continued crying, resting his forehead onto his knees.

he felt sick.

he felt hurt.

he felt like a bother to the world.

his mother called him again after a dozen of minutes, warning him that she was in front of the dorm.

jaemin sulked out of the bathroom and of the dorm and found his mother standing in front of an ambulance car.

"jaemin!" she exclaimed, taking the boy in her arms.

jaemin relaxed immediately, allowing himself to cry freely as his mother caressed his back and whispered soothing words to him.

he stopped crying after five minutes – the power a mom holds...

"tell me what's the matter, sweetie." she asked, combing jaemin's hair with one of her hands.

"you remember when manager-nim called you a week ago?" he asked, occasionally sniffling.

"yes, he told me you had a pretty big angina."

"it wasn't an angina."

jaemin's mother furrowed her brows in confusion.

it wasn't an angina?

what was it then?

"i lied to them." jaemin spoke again. "when i was at the hospital, i did a few radiographs, and... they found out i had coronary heart disease..."

a loud gasp broke the silence of the peaceful street.

it's like jaemin's mother's heart stopped beating in her chest.

tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled her son in a bear hug.

"i'm sorry, baby..." she whispered, slighting wetting jaemin's pyjamas.

jaemin and his mother cried silently in each other's embrace.

she couldn't lose jaemin, her only son.

she had to take care of him.

she had to do everything possible to prevent him getting complications.

she had to heal him.

"don't worry, jaemin. you'll get healed. i promise you." jaemin's mother told, breaking the hug to wipe her son's tears away. "you'll survive. you are strong."

jaemin nodded slowly as he leaned against his mother once again to hug her.

an hour later, jaemin was walking back inside his dorm.

he absolutely needed sleep.

tomorrow's practice will be so intense with the comeback approaching, and with his condition, everything would get harder.

jaemin closed the dorm's front door silently, not expecting to see a figure sleeping sitting on the couch.

jaemin approached the sleeping boy and gently shook his shoulder.

"renjun. come on. go back to bed."

renjun immediately opened his eyes, looking at jaemin.

"what were you doing outside?" he mumbled sleepily.

"my mom was there."

"why?" renjun asked, standing up and almost falling because of tiredness.

"she missed me."

renjun nodded and let himself being escorted by jaemin to his and chenle's shared bedroom.

he jumped in his bed and fell asleep immediately.

jaemin did the same in his own room, and fortunately, jisung's snores didn't keep him awake for long.