Time fades away so briskly, when you live passively it's hard to notice. Being deprived from society's norms for so long would make anyone go time blind, so I suppose that makes any routine a rougher sludge. Mix in the issue of finding yourself in a fractured mind where the wires refuse to spark, depression is always lurking in the shadows. Just gnawing its nasty blood-stained teeth, waiting to strike. But not this moment, Ava begged. This was peace, she wasn't destined to be prey. At least not forever, she hoped. In fact, when Lucy was at therapy a few weeks back she had written a poem on her phone notes about her. For inspiration I guess plus relationships were hardly known to flourish in these conditions. One could prayer though, hence the poem's title and sentiment to her.

When light meets the dark
Glimmering like a star, your  spirit is blinding me
Imperfections, where? We need to learn self love
If I'm always invisible this is what we'll always be
In my heart I'll pray you can notice our future
If only two hearts intertwined like weeds, maybe we could escape our tangled mess 

By Ava
(p.s love you)

https://youtu.be/ZYeF8hmwQpA

" I miss college kind of, maybe I should have finished that psychology qualification. I wonder, would I still be here if I did?", pondered Ava curiously.

"Yeah, the education system doesn't care about us you know. It's all grades, please your parents and it sucks ass", answered Lucy sharply then bit her lip, staring into Ava's sparkling eyes.

She couldn't describe the feeling but it was a strange and pleasant calming sensation, like a wave of pleasure washed over her. Like a cozy blanket was wrapping her into a tight hug, Lucy couldn't help but smile slightly.

" Bad attitude ay, anyway Whats up?", asked Ava playfully.

"I don't know but i just feel safe with you. The little buzzing of the TV and just well you overall I suppose- like stop being so distracting!", teased Lucy. She caught Ava's glare and both girls smiled more widely, this wasn't engraved. It was fresh, like something had changed between them.

*blushing* "Thanks and you can't say that when you have such a pretty smile, get here" whispered Ava. 

Ecstatic like fireworks were bursting in her fragile head, Ava looked backwards towards the window and with Martha not in sight, they were all clear. She gently grabbed Lucy's face and kissed her plump scarlet lips, it was like ecstasy for a second with the sparks finally connecting. Was this the electricity she was missing?

*Pulling back in shock* "Wow you are good", exclaimed Lucy. Ava gestures for her to be quiet with her finger on her lips, which effortlessly works to shut her up.

"I love you Luce", whispered Ava. 
Although she spoke as quiet as a mouse, this was all Lucy needed to hear. Shrieking like the firework display at Disneyland in her head, she takes a minute to process it before whispering the same back.

Then the reality hits. "No sexual contact". If they were caught, the girls could never talk to each-other again in here never mind live in the same room.  Exchanging panicked looks to each-other, Ava coughs slightly to break the silence then speaks up.

"This is our secret. But for someone without experience your pretty good. I'm so glad you made it obvious first lol I was terrified to tell you anything", she stated whilst extending her pinky finger to Lucy. 

Lucy interlinks her, agreeing to the secret. There was a childlike bliss in this as if they were in primary school or exchanging crushes in high-school.  They shared a cliche almost, nobody could know but the whole forbidden love thing was exciting. Not like you get much buzz in a deadbeat and rundown psych ward. They got lost daydreaming on the bed when Martha interrupted the moment sharply with her booming voice announcing dinner.

"CRAP!", exclaimed the girls as they dashed out to the already formed line of depressed kids. They all looked it now anyway after being shut in here, the line was just swarms of thick black lines under their sparkless eyes. You could compare it to a humane version of the walking dead if your inclined to think that grimly, but Martha give no shits about this. After all, she lived for obedience and power. (Perhaps she'd thrive more in the dirty world of politics)

Disgruntled, an underpaid apprentice lurched like a lost chicken in the canteen. Despite his mammoth height, just one look at his eyes revealed his apprehension and irritation at their apparent tardiness for community. Same topic was discussed of course, same harmony of lies from the girls like a choir of dismayed cats.  Charlie was timid this time but only the two girls noticed, they were an established group after all, besides the repetition is enough to make anyone roll their eyes until their practically braindead. 

Everyday like that? Must feel like your losing brain cells or at the very least stop caring about the words. Only following meal plans and therapy gets you of of here anyway. After a few weeks nobody cared, even the staff let off a stench of boredom and pure fatigue. Eagerly waiting for the session to end, Ava and Lucy sneak closer to Charlie  and Ava abruptly pokes her bare shoulder once the even more disgruntled man has dragged himself out of the canteen.

"Your fine to talk now dumbass, nobody's here. Is it earlier?", Ava Queried. 

"Yeah it just a take a lot out of you, I just need a goddamn nap", spurted Charlie.

*scanning the area before grabbing Ava's hand and squeezing it tightly, "I really don't want to do this now, sick of this crap", Charlie snapped back under her breath.

"Wrong attitude girl, at least get yourself approved for a few trips first. There's one going to the local theatre on Thursday  if you wanna earn behaviour checks and maybe be let out", suggested Ava. Lucy, also intrigued by the conversation, interjects with a snide remark about the quality of 60% of the trips. Unable to deny it, Ava falls into a laughing fit with her about them which leaves Charlie with a lost puppy look.

As if she was rewinding a mixtape in her mind of failures from these trips, Lucy begins to warn Charlie about the ridiculous amounts of surveillance on them at these 'outings'. I mean, Martha was an omnipresent entity every time just barging into everyone's business. 

when she was finished, Lucy exclaimed "And that's also why little Ava here is scared shitless off her".

*gently slapping Lucy, Ava smirks then looks back at a dazzled Charlie. She'd never been given permission or earned these before, she'd imagined that leaving here for a few hours would be like her wildest dream come true - Freedom once again.*

" Cheeky", murmured Lucy sarcastically whilst smirking back at her, "So Charl, what you think?", she interrogated.

*Charlie tried to construct an answer but before she could utter a word, Martha's deafening voice echoed around them and summoned all the girls for dinner.  Like a fog of fear had suddenly plagued the cursed room, the girls looked at the floor shamefully.*

"Get moving girls, come on. Charlie your not a little lost deer grow up will you?", she yelped in an eerily high pitched tone. 

The 3 of them swiftly followed her orders like the others as they were led into the darkness. An hour later, they emerged  with Charlie looking particular peaky. To be fair, they can't really do any decent Italian food here and it was pasta night (aka pasta drowning in litres of water and oil). No NGs used for a change, symbolizing a possible change in focus amongst the girls on combatting their monsters. Or maybe empty threats from Martha deterred people from them because even Charlie managed to gulf the substance down.

*Back in the room, relaxing besides each-other on their beds, Ava and Lucy were careful. Half an hour then an hour ticks past with no staff members checking on them so  Lucy instigates the conversation*

"How did we end up in this crappy cycle, I'd rather be out there with you", she proclaimed brushing her hand through Ava's beautiful brunette hair. It was smooth and moisturized unlike many of the girl's here, guess she got ungodly lucky within the genetic pool.

*Blushing* "You know I feel the same Luce but maybe we wouldn't have ever met without this. And sure, we don't know if we'll ever be 'permitted' to act serious but I love you now. You'd be with a really handsome Channing Tatum guy out there probably", she replied flirtatiously.

As the lights dimmed for the night, so did all their spirits. The shadows always plagued at night and with family visits tomorrow the tensions were high. It wouldn't be a comfortable few days, since when was disappointing your family a hobby?

If that's the case and it's a competition, Lucy was determined she would be the loser left on the side and don't get started on the  lovely letters she receives...