That Will Never Change
Father and I both change color, though he turns red while I turn white. I am close to fainting with only one thought on my mind; I have to stand my ground. I am not leaving Impa until she forgives me.
"No?" Father squints at me. "I must be hearing things."
"You're hearing facts." I know I shouldn't be so cheeky but I can't stop my mouth from spitting these horrible things. My emotions are going crazy, all the anger and frustration that have been building up for months threaten to break through.
"I don't mean to show any disrespect but I have this amazing day planned for Impa and I," I look at her as she stands impressed. If I pass out she'll have to catch me.
"Don't use words like amazing," Father scolds me. "As long as you have incomplete school work I will not permit sleepovers and arcades."
"Great. I'll see you tomorrow then because I am ahead in all of my classes."
"That is not possible."
"And that is incorrect," I can't stop myself. "I'm two weeks ahead in psychology, German, and economics, one week ahead in English and biology, three weeks in political science. Three weeks!" I am sure to emphasize that one because... well it's politics. "I can't get ahead in physical ed but even in something as irrelevant as hockey I score because I am dedicated to school. Not once have I received anything below a 100, be it due to extra credit or not doesn't matter! I am an A+ student, not a single person in this country has a higher grade than me because there is nothing higher. I have a perfect 4.0, so don't tell me it's not possible."
I am out of breath by the time I pause to take in the faces around me. Father looks shocked, Impa proud, and her father just slightly intimidated by my tantrum. Part of me wants to keep going and list all the things I have accomplished just to satisfy him because I know that as soon as Impa and I have made up I will no longer be able to stand up to Father. But I think I've done enough damage. His veins mark his fury well along his neck and forehead. His blood must be boiling but he speaks as calmly as he can in front of Impa's father.
"What about your exams? You are failing astronomy. We talked about this less than 24 hours ago."
"Maybe you really are hearing things. I just told you that I have a 4.0, how could you possibly think I am failing any of my courses? I got a 92 on a quiz that wasn't even graded! I'm getting tutored by Pik to ensure that--"
"Pik? Who is that?"
"Nobody. He's nobody," anxiety replaces my rage. "I'm just saying that after you and I talked yesterday I reflected upon your words and spent all night studying."
"With Pik?" he gasps.
"No, with Impa. Right?" We look at her and she nods. "I am well prepared for my upcoming exams and will not disappoint you. I will not fail astronomy."
"I think a day off is a great idea," Impa's father gets involved. "It will relax the mind and help find the balance between school and social life. Too much stress will only obstruct a good performance."
I love Impa's parents. Not once have they forced Impa to do anything; they always trust in her decisions and have her back no matter what. I find myself daydreaming about her family being mine on rare occasions. They treat me like a daughter so in many ways I already feel like her family is mine.
Father doesn't argue any further. Probably because he respects Impa's father; a financial advisor who has given many favors to my family in the past. They may not look like close friends but apart from Urbosa, Impa's parents are the closest of friends my father has.
"I am speechless," he shakes his head in shame. "You can stay a few hours but I want you home for dinner," Father offers as a compromise.
I want to say okay but I am frozen to the core. Did Father just give in?
"She will be there by six," Impa replies when it becomes clear that I won't.
My jaw has dropped and I can't tell if I'm smiling or not. I didn't get what I wanted but neither did he. This will at least give me enough time to fix my friendship. I almost want to thank him but I keep quiet, afraid he will change his mind.
Father mumbles to himself as he gets in his car. Once he is driving off I turn around to jump into Impa's arms. I squeeze her, by her stiff body I can tell that she doesn't want me to, but I do it anyway.
"Thank you," I cheer, hugging her even tighter. "And you too," I thank her father.
"A 4.0? To say I'm impressed would be an understatement," both his eyebrows shoot up as he nods at me. "Make sure you take good care of yourself. Your mental health is the foundation to your education. Treat it well and take time for breaks."
"Of course, thank you again."
It's not over yet. Father will have a serious talk with me as soon as I get home. But I am just overflowing with joy and relief. As scared as I am to return to our house I do feel incredibly good about standing up. I am full of adrenaline. His face was priceless. He had no comeback!
Impa and I head to her room so we can talk in private. Having closed the door I thank her again. Father was already agitated yesterday, I can't believe that after ignoring his call and staying out all night he would just accept my answer. It's mainly thanks to her father but still, the lie came from her. She saved my future. And I may have jeopardized it right after. But she had my back. Why would she do all that if she's so upset?
"You have no idea how much it means to me that you told my father I spent the night here," I give her a nervous smile, unsure if we are on good terms now.
"Part of me was hoping he would consider me just another one of your distractions and forbid you to see me again," she tells me coolly. Ouch. "But... I'm kinda glad that didn't happen."
"Me too."
"Bit suicidal to stand up to him. Totally badass though," her mouth shapes into a smile. "So, how was your night with Link?"
"How did you know I was with him last night?" My pulse exhilarates. Who told her?
"I was at the party when they kicked everyone out. I figured it had something to do with you."
Oh...
"To be honest, I was a bit wasted at the time. You know, when we called. I wasn't thinking straight and my emotions were heightened. So if I said something irrational... Well that's why."
The alcohol must have made it easier to say all those mean things to me. Still hurts like hell, even if she didn't mean it.
I stand in the center of her room, clutching my necklace while Impa seats herself on the bed.
"Why was it the worst week of your life?" I ask shyly.
"Just... One of those weeks I guess."
"Come on. Talk to me," I make a step closer to the bed.
"I don't know. I failed an exam. Wasn't a big deal but it kinda annoyed me 'cause I actually studied for it. Then I got a speeding ticket and had a car accident..."
"A car accident?" I gasp.
"Not a big one. I bumped into another car in a parking lot and bolted. I felt awful about it but I really wasn't in the mood to confront that person. And then a goddamn bird took a dump on my favorite t-shirt."
"The one the band signed?"
"Yep. And then last night my mom put that shirt in the fucking washing machine without asking me first and now the signatures are faded. So I got into a fight with her about it. And of course I lost that big tournament... against Malice of all people, which is really just the icing on the cake."
"I'm so sorry Impa... I shouldn't have called you a child for wanting space. It sounds like a hell of a week and I wasn't much help at all... I should have been there... I should have known that you weren't feeling good."
"Ugh," Impa plunges back and covers her face with a pillow. "No. Stop being so nice about it. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have ended things like that. Not on the phone. Shouldn't have done it at all. You know I'd never end our friendship."
"I know."
"You're still my favorite person in the multiverse but you hurt me so much, Zelda. I was really mad, so I wanted you to be hurt too. I'm sorry."
A sigh of relief. My heart can finally relax a little and I take a seat next to her on the bed without fearing her rejection. She let her anger out on me just like I did with Link when I first met him. It's not fair, but I understand why she did it.
"It's okay. I understand. I messed up too," I say. "And I'm sincerely sorry."
"Stop apologizing. You already know I'll forgive you."
"I need to hear you say it," I bid.
"Zelda, I..." she sighs. "I lied to you."
Well that was unexpected. What now? I pray it's nothing major.
"About what?" I gulp. Once again my heart is hammering against my chest.
"It was not your fault that I lost the tournament."
"What?"
She removes the pillow, her makeup is smudged but she isn't crying. "I made it pretty far actually, even though you weren't there. I still wanted to win. I mean, I had to. It's what I've been wanting for so long, I wasn't going to lose just because my best friend in the world decided to not show up."
I roll my eyes at her remark.
"I made it to the semi finals, that's when I had to go against Malice. She told me that she saw you crying in the hallway. With a black eye."
"I wasn't there... she lied."
"I know... She was trying to get me to leave the gym. But I didn't. I was so mad at you that I stayed and fought against her anyway. Even though it could have been true. I was a shitty friend and all my anger went into that fight. I was just trying to bring her as much pain as possible. She kept provoking me with that stupid ass grin on her face. I thought about all the shit she did to us and when she threatened to hurt you she crossed the line. The refs gave me a warning for my aggressive attacks. I didn't care at that point. I just didn't care about winning anymore, I didn't even think about the stupid tournament. It wasn't because of your absence that I gave up, I just wanted to hurt Malice. She only won because I got disqualified. That bitch!"
Impa throws the pillow against the wall and knocks over a lamp.
"That's why I was so mad. I was fighting for you while you were cheering for Link. It hurt like hell to find out about his game. I know he makes you happy and that makes me happy too but I just felt like I didn't really matter. I felt like I was losing you and I hate feeling this way because I should be happy for you. I am happy for you. I can't help how I feel. It's always just been the two of us but now you're hanging out with all these new people. It's not like I'm jealous, I swear I'm happy for you, it's just that we've been friends since the first day of pre-K and--"
"And that will never change," I assure her. "You will always be my best friend, you should never doubt that. Impa, I could never live without you. I was just distracted by life. That's all. It happens. But that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I will always be there for you okay? I'm so s--"
"If you apologize one more time," she warns and I zip my mouth. "I was mad, still am, but I think I'm more mad at myself now. I should have won with ease... It's what I've been training for for so long. I should have gone to the nationals. Fuck!" She claws her hair. "Martial arts teaches us to control our emotions and not to throw a fit when some dumb person says something to hurt us. My teacher said I don't have what it takes to become a champion and I don't disagree with him."
"I do, I disagree. If anyone can do it, it's you," I urge with the confidence she is missing.
She shakes her head. "I'm done. It's over. All I ever wanted... just gone."
"There is no way you can still compete?"
"I could. But I'm just not good enough. I have to learn self control first. Didn't even make it to the regionals."
"Screw the regionals. Go straight to the nationals. If not this year, then the next. You're going to win. Just picture it."
"No, Zelda," she sits up in earnest. "Take a hint, I'm not good enough."
"Yes you are!"
"I can't win!"
Not once in all the years I've known Impa have I heard her say she can't do something. It's scary to hear those words coming from her mouth. I get up from her bed and open her closet.
"What are you doing?" She asks puzzled.
I ignore her and go through her drawers. I know it's in here somewhere. I open the last drawer and find a blue book with a golden title that reads "yearbook". She has no idea where I'm going with this.
"What are you doing with my yearbook?" She wants to know.
"You were never really good at school. Not because you weren't smart but because you had no interest in being good at it. Our junior year you nearly failed all your classes because you were barely ever in class and when you did show up you were late and slept right through it. Mr. Williams told you that you would never make it in life, he said you'd end up working for Walmart making minimum wage. In front of the whole class he told you that no college would ever accept you. I thought you were going to get into a fist fight with him but you just sat there and smirked at him. I was a little concerned by your calm exterior."
"Yeah I remember that. He was a jerk and I did want to fight him."
"But you didn't. Not with your hands at least. Do you remember what he wrote in your yearbook at the end of the year?"
I open the very last page where all the signatures are and clear my throat to make sure I have Impa's attention. She chuckles and leans back, arms crossed.
"Impa,
You're the most stubborn, immature, annoying, exhausting, and frankly scary student I've ever had to teach. You don't listen to anyone and unless a topic piques your interest you don't pay attention, furthermore, you're barely ever where you are supposed to be. But beyond all that, you are by far the most ambitious student I have ever met. I had the pleasure of seeing your growth and battle, fighting for what you believe in. Never has a student impressed me more. Junior year you nearly failed, senior year you graduated at the top of your class. You took my breath away. You are brave, strong, and clever. If anyone ever doubts you again, prove them wrong. Like you proved me wrong. I'm proud of you and will miss your grimaces in my classroom. Have fun at Hyrule University!
-Mr. Williams"
I hand her the book so she can read it herself.
"Our teacher told you that you would never make it in life and that no college would ever accept you... Suddenly you showed up on time, you aced every test, and got accepted by one of the most prestigious schools in the country. All that just to prove this one person wrong. To prove that nobody has a say in your future but yourself. Maybe your teacher is right and you have self control issues but I think that's one of your superpowers. Nobody can tell you no and I admire you for it."
"What a dick. I miss that dude," she smiles at the yearbook entry.
"Listen to me Impa," she looks up at me. "If you think you can't become an MMA champion then you're just as dumb as Mr. Williams."
"Getting personal," Impa arches her brows over her grin.
"I'll make it personal if I have to. You deserve first place. Go and beat Malice's ass in front of a crowd."
"Damn! Language, Princess!" Impa laughs.
She's laughing! Finally! She's smiling and making jokes again. We're okay. I hug her again, this time she hugs me back.
"I missed you!" I nearly choke her.
"Missed you more."
"I will be there for your tournament. I will be there when you win... just to say I told you so."
Impa giggles. It feels so good to see her smile again. I knew she wouldn't stay mad. Nothing could ever tear us apart.
"I'm still so shocked that you said no to your dad."
"He had it coming. Yesterday he told me that I am basically just a huge disappointment. He said that I will ruin his school. And Link and Pik were listening. I was mortified."
"He's just like Mr. Williams. Just don't let his words get to you. You are doing better than any of us and he will realize it when it's too late." Now she is the one with the confidence. "I take it that things are going pretty well with Link? Do you sleep at his house a lot now?"
"No, this was a one time thing."
"AKA a one night stand," she smirks at me and I throw one of the decorative pillows at her.
"No, nothing like that! I only went home with him because I was upset about your phone call. I don't plan on sleeping with him."
"Mhm, sure," she laughs.
"With Father coddling me it's better him and I just stay friends for a little while."
"Friends with benefits," her smirk intensifies.
"You're such an ass!" I grab another pillow to throw at her but she dodges.
"Where did you learn how to swear?" she bursts into laughter.
I hug her again. If I were to ever lose Impa I don't know what I would do. Does she realize how much I need her in my life? I never meant to ignore her. Even when I don't talk to her, not a day passes where I don't want to tell her about the stuff that happens to me.
"Let's do something fun!" I suggest. "What are you in the mood for? The pier? The mall?"
"I was planning on watching the football game," she says. I'm still not the hugest sports fanatic but today I'd do anything for her.
"We'll do that then. When does it start?"
"The football game is at noon and then at 3 PM I was going to watch the swim meet."
I didn't know Impa was into water sports but I guess she just likes watching any competitive sport. I am all in. Mipha will be happy to see us cheering for her from the bleachers.
"So, who are the eagles fighting today?" I ask, not out of curiosity but to show that I care about her interests.
"The boars."
"Wh... what?" Nausea replaces the air in my lungs and I feel light headed.
"Yup. Games against Lorule are always pretty intense. I wouldn't want to miss it."
Today I'd do anything for her, I try to remind myself as I slowly nod in agreement.
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