05|| get in my van kids!

"What kind of kidnapper are you? You skipped the entire 'get in my vans kids!' part of the kidnapping."

Clint's Van, Unknown Location, April 2016-

"Let me get this straight." Wanda looked over at Clint, her expression unmoving. Her voice seemed almost irritated, and her hand was resting on the windowsill of the van, watching the New York scenery slowly roll by. "You found her drunk, saw her crash a car into a pole, and then punched her into the face after losing your patience."

Clint shrugged, his eyes staring at the skyline in front of him, the night sky still disguising the van and the people inside. "It sounds a whole lot worse when you say it like that, but yeah, that's about right." The signs passed by the man, telling them that they were leaving the state of New York, and passing over into New Jersey.

Wanda sighed, shaking her head in a way that could only be described as exasperated. "You, Clint Barton, truly are the worst example sometimes." Her eyes looked back at the row of seats behind her, a passed out Alison lying across the two seats. She looked absolutely peaceful, but Wanda could only assume that when the girl woke up with two Avengers in some pretty weirdly water dried clothes and a pounding headache, she would not be so peaceful.

Clint gave a halfhearted look in Wanda's direction, almost offering her a roll of his eyes. "Yeah, well don't ever tell my kids that. They would be heartbroken to find out that their dad isn't the perfect role model that they know and love." Tapping the driving wheel impatiently, Clint awkwardly drove through the silence. He didn't know what to ask Wanda, or if he even wanted to talk.

After all, she would probably ask more about Alison, and he did not want to go into that predicament. That story was a mess in itself, and it was a lengthy story at that. Clint reached out his right hand to turn on the radio, turning the volume dial up. The soft murmurs of classic 80's music echoed through the van, causing Clint to nod in satisfaction.

In Clint's opinion, reliving the 80's with some classic music always solved the problems in life. Or, at the very least, made them go away until one actually had to consider what they were doing. Listening to the vocals of Michael Jackson, Clint let himself relax as he drove off towards the location of the next person on his list, one man that could grow smaller than the size of a- well ant.

A few hours later, Clint pulled up in front of a suburban neighborhood. He had no clue who this person was, or where this small town even was. All he knew was that Sam had sent him a file, with a plea to grab Wanda and come to Cap's assistance. Clint, of course, didn't say no. It gave him an excuse to "come out of retirement," check in on Alison, who was now in the back of the van, hungover (thank goodness he had found her), and grab Wanda from the weird space robot that was almost considered the child of Tony, Bruce, and Thor.

"This is the place?" Wanda asked, slamming her car door quite loudly, causing Clint to turn around from his place at the doorstep. It was rather early in the day, it being at least 6 in the morning. "Cause it does not look like a place in which a superhero would hide out." Her arms were crossed in her dark grey cardigan, a tired and unamused look on her face. She clearly hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, and it was taking a toll on her mood.

"Let's be honest here, did my house look like a place in which Nick Fury would be hiding out?" Clint paused for a moment, waiting for an answer before quickly realizing that Wanda had not been with the Avengers at the time. "Never mind, wrong analogy. Do you think that- actually I'm all out of analogies." He gave her a slightly annoyed look, shaking his head with amusement at the fact he couldn't come up with anything.

"Just knock on the door!" Wanda sighed, gesturing up at the steps Clint was on in front of the house. She was too lazy to actually walk up with him, and opted to stand right beside the van, almost leaning up against the door that she had just exited out of. "You know that we don't have all day, and we gotta figure out a way to get to Germany."

Clint sighed, turning back to face the door. Giving the door three firm knocks, he shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited for someone to answer. There was a hesitant creep towards the door, and then a voice. "Who's there?" The voice asked, belonging to one Scott Lang.

"Your parents, we've come to lecture you, open up." Clint sarcastically remarked, almost rolling his eyes. He tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the man inside to open up the door. It took a few seconds, but soon the door was pulled open to reveal a rather casually dressed Scott Lang, in a casual t shirt and boxers.

Clint's nose scrunched up, slightly weirded out by seeing man- who was regarded as something of a superhero- in boxers. Granted, they were intruding at 6 in the morning, but Clint expected a little bit more out of the man. "So you're Scott Lang. The Ant-Man."

Scott yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah, is this some sort of prank? Cause if it is, then I'm going to yell at Luis for even hiring actors-" He stopped himself, as he saw the heroes clearly for the first time. Wanda was holding out a small red orb of energy just to prove that it wasn't a prank (and also for protection from a man in freakin boxers), and Clint donning a clear "really?" face. "Oh, so you're the real deal."

"Yeah, and we need your help. You in?" Clint asked, looking at Scott once more. When Scott answered his question with a quick and excited nod, Clint chuckled lightly. "You're gonna have to actually get dressed before you come with us though."

"I'll be back in ten." Scott noted, shutting the front door of the suburb house quickly, leaving Clint with a small draft of air that whooshed in front of him. Clint was surprised by the abrupt notion, and looked back at Wanda, who was just yawning again.

"What are you doing?" Clint quirked an eyebrow, looking at the tired teenager. "You shouldn't be moping and yawning, it's only 6. You've gotten up at earlier times for missions. I'm sure Cap has called you up for training earlier as well."

Wanda gave him a wave of her hand in dismissal. "Ah, yeah, but we weren't traveling in a car, and Cap wasn't singing to 80's music in the car. Sleeping in those conditions would most definitely make one not be able to sleep."

Clint almost gave into the urge to flip Wanda off, but before he could, Scott came bursting through the door, wearing a dark button up shirt, a black undershirt, and some equally dark jeans. "Alright! I'm done." He looked up at Clint, seeming rather excited.

Clint gave him a strange glance at the clothes and his belongings. "One, are you going for a goth teenager look? Cause it's clearly working, and two, where's your suit? Shouldn't it be, you know, in like a bag or something?"

Scott pulled out a small box, what almost looked like an apple headphones standard case, but inside of it was his super suit. "It's pretty compact. Good for times like these." He shrugged, placing the suit back into his shirt front pocket.

Clint slapped Scott's back, making Scott rather uncomfortable. Meeting an Avenger and then having them slap you on the back was rather unexpected. "Come on, we've got a flight to catch at the closest airport in thirty." Clint walked down the steps, gesturing to Wanda for her to get in the car.

Scott stumbled down the stairs, scrambling to get inside of the van. When he opened the door, he saw a drunk teenager. Giving a noise that sounded half shocked half grossed out, he looked up at Clint and Wanda. "What is a passed out teenager doing in the back of your van? And what do I do with her?"

Clint looked in the back, realizing that Alison was still passed out. "Oh, I believe that Wanda can put her in the back." He looked over at the girl, giving her an expecting expression. His arm reached over the two seats in the front, gesturing to Alison.

Wanda sighed, knowing exactly what Clint wanted her to do. Harnessing the energy needed to lift the girl, Wanda's fingers moved in a way that delicately began to move Alison towards the back. Small wisps of red energy almost whispered around Alison, placing her not so delicately in the back seat.

"That problem is now solved, Lang. Sit down." Clint said, facing forward position. "Now we just gotta get to the airport. I've got an old friend who's going to fly us to Germany, his name-" He started the car, backing out of the driveway.

"How many old friends do you have?" Wanda interjected, giving Clint a dry chuckle and a halfhearted smug. "Cause in the past 24 hours, you've mentioned at least ten." She placed her feet back up on the car dashboard, clearly bored.

Clint turned to Wanda with a scrunched up face. "If I'm being perfectly honest, I have no clue. If I were to take a guess, I'd say a lot more people than I can remember." His eyes trained back onto the road, watching the highway to make sure he was on the right path to the airport.

The drive was silent after that, the only noise actually heard on the 30 minute drive to the airport was the humming of Clint (and, surprisingly, Scott) and the quite vocal scoffs of displeasure from Wanda as they did so. By the time the van arrived at the airport, Wanda was grateful that the ride was over.

The car was dropped off in the parking garage, where Clint had fed one too many bills into the parking machine. Clint was sure that the trip with Cap wouldn't take more than a week, but he couldn't be too careful with parking bills.

Bypassing the normal security, Clint, Wanda, and Scott walked out onto the tarmac, meeting an air pilot dressed in casual clothing. His graphic t shirt covered by a fleece flannel and his pants were denim jeans that clung semi-tightly around his legs. "Barton, long time no see." The man held out his hand, Clint grasping it firmly with one hand and a ghost of a smile.

Clint nodded, grasping Alison in his arms again. "Zachary Burris. How's the life as a private pilot treating you? Ever since you left S.H.I.E.L.D. in '13, the air section is- erm, was- never the same without you." His correction didn't go unnoticed, and it seemed that even Zachary realized what he was talking about, his face folding into a frown.

"Yeah, well, things have changed a lot. I just wished that the series of events that occurred turned out the way that they did. " Burris agreed, crossing his arms as he inspected the rest of the group. "And who are these stragglers?"

Clint seemed a bit surprised that Burris didn't know who Wanda was, and made a small gesture at the two of them to make sure that Zachary didn't recognize either of them. "Them? Wanda Maximoff, Scarlet Witch, and Scott Lang-"

"Ant Man." Scott interrupted, seeming awkward as he did so. "I'm Ant Man." He stuck out his hand, waiting for a proper handshake. When he got the handshake, Scott let go rather quickly. "It's really, really, nice to meet you. A former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, like-" Scott made a gesture like an exploding motion. "Wow."

Zachary Burrus nodded awkwardly, shoving his hands in the front of his jean pockets. "Uh- yeah, thanks. It's cool to meet you too, Ant Man." He gestured to the plane, hiking his thumb back at the stairs leading up to the plane. "I mean, I know you guys are on a tight schedule, and I expect that carrying that teenager is heavy, so...."

Clint nodded, shifting the position that Alison lay in his arms. "Yeah, they're a lot heavier than they look, especially when passed out from a drunken stupor." He added in blandly, beginning to walk towards the plane. "Now come on, let's get this show on the road!"

The two others scaled the stairs to the plane, finding that the plane was rather nice. It was no Tony Stark jet, yes, but there were about eight seats nicely spaced apart on the medium sized plane. Wanda took a seat in the second to last row of four on the left, and Scott took the front seat on the right. Clint set Alison down in front of Wanda, and he sat directly adjacent to the girl.

"Passengers, although you're all superheroes, I must request that you fasten your seat belts in case of an emergency. Although I'm pretty sure you'd save me before then, fasten your seat belts anyways." Burris said through the overhead announcement, beginning to prep the plane of takeoff.

The plane slowly rolled onto the main tarmac, beginning to launch itself towards the sky. The rumbling of the wheels slowly ceased to a slight roar as the plane lifted out into the space above the land. Scott looked terrified in his seat, as did Wanda, both of them not used to flying in an airplane.

Clint's expression was the one of a professional, a veteran at flying. He sat back, almost ready to take a nap in his seat. The plane began to level out, and the long journey to Germany began. The sky was a bright blue, only masked by the coverage of clouds in the early morning.

As the flight dragged on for another two hours, Alison finally began to stir. It had been over 12 hours since she had been awake, and when Ali slowly came to, she came to with a throbbing headache. "Good god," She muttered, rubbing her head. "This is not where I last remembered being awake."

Clint turned to the side to see the girl awake, a small smile forming on his face. "Well, looks like Sleeping Beauty has finally woken up. It's been a good-" He checked his watch, pulling back the black leather jacket he was donning, not much unlike the one Alison was wearing. "12 hours since you've been awake."

Alison groaned, still rubbing her head. Her vision was slightly blurry, her mind still trying to process everything. "I'm sorry, but who are you and where the hell am I?" Looking around at her surroundings, Ali realized that she was at least 30,000 feet off of the ground. "Okay, so from the deductive reasoning inside of my pounding head, I'm clearly in an airplane. But who the hell are you?"

Clint rolled his eyes, looking at the girl with more than an annoyed look. "Kid, if you don't know who I am by now, and maybe it's just the alcohol messing with you, there is something seriously wrong with you."

Alison's eyes widened as she finally realized everything going on around her. "Oh jeez. I was kidnapped by an Avenger." She looked over at Clint for clarification, who just gave a halfhearted nod of his head. "Wow, you are really a great kidnapper. You abducted me without the 'get in my van kids!' part of the kidnapping."

Wanda gave a small chuckle from the seat behind Alison. "She's got spunk Clint, I'm not sure that you can handle two teenagers like this on the flight for the next 9 hours, good luck with that."

Clint offered Wanda a pointed look before turning back to Alison. "Yeah, well, this was kind of an impromptu thing. But yeah, welcome to the party. So, if we're bringing you to Germany, there are a few things I need to ask you."

"Yeah?" Alison asked, crossing her arms. The headache faded away to a slight murmur of a pound in the back of her head, the drunken stupor slowly buzzing off. "And what would those questions be?"

Clint smirked, knowing that the next few hours would be boring until they made it onto ground and in Germany. Ah well, it wouldn't be too long of a wait as long as Wanda distracted Alison. Clint placed his hand underneath his chin. letting his arm rest on his arm rest as he spoke his next words. "I am so glad that you asked. You know how to throw a punch?"

<~*~>

there's not a lot to say, but I hope you enjoyed!

sorry it's been a while, I've been working a little bit more than usual. it's the last week of school next week, and my teachers are cracking down.

anyways. I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll see you in the next chapter!

bye

:))