Listening to: 

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS

-----------------------------------------------------------

January 20th, 2015 

9:15pm

TIM

          Tim was sweaty.

          He was unbelievably and disgustingly drenched from the arm pits down.

          He threw his bike onto the ground and grabbed the middle of his shirt, pulling to and from to give his chest some air. Fortunately, his shirt was black and didn't reveal too much of his state. The sweat dripped down the side of his face and he was grateful for the cover of night.

          He wasn't so grateful for the big house that loomed ahead, song and conversation heard from the driveway. He felt pangs of anxiety grapple his heart, making him think twice of why he was there and making him question whether or not he should turn and peddle away. No one would have known he left, no one would have cared, so why couldn't he just do it?

          It was Josie.

          She surprised him earlier that day when she invited him to the house party. She was just so excited and just so pretty that he couldn't tell her that the thought made him want to puke.

          Josie suggested he pick her up so they could go together, but as he thought of his sad excuse of a bike, he knew he couldn't have possibly fit her on it. Instead of saying he didn't have a car to match his license yet, he said he had errands to do and that he would meet her there no later than an hour after the party started.

          He was three hours late.

          And sweaty. Unbelievably and disgustingly so.

          He found a spot at the side of the well manicured lawn, hoping and praying that no one would steal his ride home. As his shirt clung to every possible angle of his back and torso, he made his way to the large wooden doors that stood so stoic at the front.

          He still had time to turn away and go home and do his homework, but the thought of a girl with blonde hair and a nice smile encouraged him forward.

          He didn't need to knock because the door was left ajar, and he was tentative in pushing it open. Almost as soon as he stepped through, his nostrils were assaulted with the smell of weed and alcohol. 

          He recognised a lot of his fellow classmates mulling around the foyer and stairs, though for as many as he knew, there were twice the amount he didn't. He wasn't sure how he would find Josie with as many people as there were, and he was growing more annoyed thinking about Greg and how he wouldn't dare enter the Paille's house.

         "He and his brother are just going to ruffle my hair and call me buddy the whole night, I fucking hate that," Greg had complained.

         A boy with black hair caught his attention, and Tim did a double take to see that it was Rudy, one of his best friends.

          Rudy stood with his arms spread wide, animating something to a couple girls that stared on with unimpressed eyes. Tim knew his famous line was coming, something Rudy had always tried to wow people with:

          "You girls should have seen it, the shark was this big. Almost took my arm right off!"

          Tim prodded Rudy on the shoulder.

          "Hey man, back off for a sec, would you?" Rudy hadn't even turned. "So, as I was saying –"

          Tim tried again, this time gaining his friend's eyes.

          "Oh, Tim!" Rudy went through a range of emotions in a three second period, from annoyed, to surprised, and finally, to happy. "Sorry ladies, if you'd just excuse us," he was saying, waving away the girls that had already taken the opportunity to escape.

          Tim was irritated by the fact that not only was he sweaty and probably smelled the part too, but that Rudy stood in front of him with a cheesy grin on his face. Why hadn't he offered to pick him up?

          "Hey man, I thought you weren't coming? I really could have used a ride."

          Rudy smelt like smoke and beer, the unruly scents creating a concoction that rolled off in waves. Tim knew from the wavering brown gaze in front him, that Rudy was too far gone to deal with anything and that any type of conversation wouldn't truly go to his head.

          "Have you seen Josie?" he decided to ask instead.

          It felt like a minute of Rudy grinning before he finally came to. "I'm so happy you're here, Timmy! Let's get you a drink."

          He stared at his friend, deciding it wasn't worth his time. 

          "Hey, where you going?"

          Tim was walking into a different room when Rudy threw his arms over his shoulders, changing the path that he was heading. "Kitchen is this way, my guy!"

          "I'm just trying to find Josie, Rudy."

          They ended up in the kitchen anyway, much to his insistence that he go look in other rooms. Truth was, Tim had never been to this house before and wouldn't have even known where to start, so the kitchen was a good of place as any.

          Tim was peering over his shoulder when Josie's friend, Madison, slipped into his view. "Tim!" she sounded surprised and a little worried.

          "Hey Maddie, love that dress," Rudy drawled out, eyeing the girl in front of them.

          Madison made a face at him. "In your dreams, Polakoff." She looked back at Tim with an overly large grin, "Let's just go over here Tim." She tried to show him a new direction, but he saw what she was trying to avert his attention from. 

          Josie had a red cup planted between her hands, her laughter a brilliant sound considering the noises around them. She wore high waisted jeans that accentuated her body while a white cropped shirt left little to the imagination. Tim would have gawked longer, but the way she stood in front of Henry Paille with that smile of hers and their close proximity, dampened his mood.

          He couldn't stop staring, he couldn't stop wishing he hadn't come, he couldn't stop comparing himself to Henry.

          Henry was much better looking and much taller than Tim, he was much more everything than Tim. Henry was more athletic and he had the muscles and stamina to prove it, Henry was the class clown and everyone waited on him to say something funny, Henry was quite literally the nicest guy in their school. On the weekends he volunteered at the animal shelter, who could ever fault him after that? 

          At some point in their ninth year Tim had even questioned his sexuality when he saw Henry walking down the stairs with the golden sun from the windows outlining his figure. Hell, even the universe catered to Henry when all it left for Tim was anxiety and sweaty palms. 

          Last of all, the thing that really put Tim in a slump, was that Henry had a car.

          You dumbass, of course she didn't like you.

          A lump formed in Tim's throat and he had to look away, blinking back his embarrassment. How could he not have realised?

          "Tim, it's not...," Madison tried.

          Rudy shoved a bottle of tequila into his hands, an apologetic look crossing him that made it seem like he was sober. "Drink this and go make that bitch jealous."

          "Rudy!" Madison slapped his shoulder.

          Tim looked down at the bottle and contemplated his options.

          ——————

          An hour since he had arrived, his shirt dried.

          His body felt vibrant and light and his vision swayed as he walked down the hall. Rudy had long since thrown up in Henry's living room, trying to blame it on Sarah Daniels who lay passed out on the couch.

          Tim hadn't ever drunk or smoked as much as that night. He took his turn at the joint and inhaled slowly, letting the smoke dance over his tongue and salsa to the roof of his mouth. He released his breath as he released the bud, Lucille Alvarez giving him a sultry look while she took it.

          Rudy raised his eyebrows at Tim when he caught the eyes she made, making a thumbs up.

          "Hey Lucy, want to play truth or dare?" Rudy suggested.

          Tim didn't know Lucy. He had only met her maybe fifteen minutes past, but he could tell she wasn't subtle in the slightest, she liked what she liked and she didn't care who knew. Her tanned skin was warm, he felt when she held onto his arm, and her stare was mesmerising, a darkness that sucked him in.

          He knew he wasn't thinking straight, but he also knew he didn't want to play truth or dare. Josie was still on his mind.

          "You're really going to play truth or dare?"

          Tim looked up to see Josie standing with her arms over chest, her eyes pointed at him. Almost on instinct, he pushed himself away from Lucy who also gave a glare.

          "You came just in time!" Rudy laughed, loud and obnoxious, though it wasn't loud or obnoxious enough to shatter the tension. "I was just about to dare these two," he gestured between Tim and Lucy, "to kiss."

          Tim's heart hammered in his chest, and he shook his head at Rudy, willing him to stop through his silence.

         He could tell by Josie's face that she wasn't into the conversation or talk of the game at all. She gave a little huff, "The game hasn't even started, Rudy. You know you have to let the person pick truth or dare, right?"

          "They're obviously going to pick dare," Rudy hadn't noticed Tim's frantic looks, "they've been practically eye fucking the whole night."

          Josie and Tim met eyes, and she swiftly turned on her heel.

          "Tim! Where are you-"

           Tim didn't let Lucy finish her thought, he was right behind Josie as she stormed out of the room. He followed her through their peers, fighting his hazy sight and trying to keep up.

          "Josie!" he called as she stepped out into the front yard.

          She was angry when she looked at him, her brows pulled together and her nose wrinkled. "What the fuck, Tim!" she yelled, throwing her arms up. "Are you an idiot or something? Can you not see that I like you?"

          "Are you kidding me?" he questioned, closing their distance. "You know I only came here for you."

          "Yeah well," Josie said as she shook her head, chuckling, "seems like you got a little side tracked, huh?"

          Tim groaned and put his hands behind his head, his frustration getting the best of him," You're in there with Henry and what am I supposed to do? Wait for you until you're done with him?"

          The alcohol made his face hot, and he seriously couldn't believe he was yelling at Josie McCall of all people at a party. His thoughts ran rapid in his mind, they didn't make sense, and he was getting both pissed off and sweaty again. 

         "Just forget it, Tim, okay? Whatever this is," she bit out harshly, causing him to flinch, "it's nothing. It's been nothing. We won't happen and it just won't work."

          She shouldered past him to go back into the house.

          Tim didn't know what overcame him, he wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline or being high or simply trying to spite Henry. He reached back and grabbed Josie's arm, pulling her into him with as much gentle force as he could. She looked at him with large eyes, surprise stretching over her as she searched his face. Before she could react, he pressed his mouth against hers.

          She was slack for a second, which caused Tim to think he made one hell of a mistake. He started to pull away but she was quick to grab the back of his head, bringing him closer and inviting him for more of a taste. Tim thought his heart might literally leap out of his chest at that moment. 

          He was surprised by the eagerness of her mouth as she stood tall to get a better angle. Her hands caressed his face and then found themselves entangled in his hair, deepening the haste that was so evident. Her lips were as he imagined, soft and plump, the sweet tang of her cider colliding with the bitterness of his beer. 

          His hands, awkward as they were, roamed in weird circles as he tried to figure out where to put them. Thankfully, before she noticed how dumb he was, he recalled the amount of movies he'd watched and knew that the waist was a safe bet. 

          When she finally separated herself from him, he missed her. His lips tingled where she had been, and he brought a hand up to touch the spot.

          Her smile was infectious and he smiled too, their foreheads pressing together lightly. They stayed like that in each others arms, not fully registering what had happened. 

          Josie looked up then, using her hand to push away some of his hair. He noticed she didn't wear make up except for the mascara that made her lashes dark, and he couldn't help but appreciate the natural flush that crept her cheeks. 

          He thought maybe she was going to kiss him again, instead she laughed, saying something only he could hear:

          "You're a terrible kisser, Tim."