Chapter Twelve

Susie woke the next morning and smiled as she stretched her arms over her head. Yesterday had been amazing. Ryder had come back for her. They hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk or be alone together but the way she had caught him watching her, the way his honey eyes had lit up whenever she had glanced in his direction had amazed her.

The whole family seemed to like him and enjoy having him around--even Brody. Ryder was great with the kids and he had the same amount of energy and the same childlike spirit that they had. Susie still couldn't quite make herself believe that she had found her soul mate the way her family all had... She still didn't know a thing about Ryder but she knew that she wanted to find out all she could.

Susie couldn't help but wonder what time he would come by today to see her. He and his brother Ty had gone into town to stay at the hotel. Rising from the bed, Susie glanced at the clock. It was seven in the morning and she needed to get breakfast ready for the family. It was normal for everyone, even Brody, Elizabeth, Thomas, Sally and all of the kids to gather here for breakfast before everyone went to work.

Susie took more time than usual in getting dressed, making sure to pick her nicest gingham work dress. It was a deep yellow, the color of Easter Lilies and Sally had always said that it made her blond hair shine... Susie hoped that Ryder would feel the same. The dress was low cut across her chest but she had sewn on a white lace inlay to cover her pale skin to her neck. The sleeves came to her elbows and the skirt flared at her hips. She pulled on her ankle high boots and took the time to pin her hair up just right.

Susie made her way to the kitchen to find Liza already awake with breakfast started. Liza was humming and smiling as she floated around the kitchen as if on a cloud.

"You sure seem happy," Susie said with a smile as she checked the biscuits that Liza already had baking.

"I am!" Liza sighed wistfully, "I couldn't even sleep last night because my mind was racing!"

Susie pulled the curtains back and opened the window to let the warm morning air and sunlight pour into the kitchen, "What has you smiling like a crazy woman and unable to sleep?" she teased.

Liza covered her heart with her hand and gave a little spin, "I never thought I'd find a man who would make my heart feel like this!"

Susie smiled. She knew exactly how Liza was feeling, what she didn't know was who she was talking about, "Can I ask what Prince Charming's name is?"

Liza bit her lip and stirred the eggs she had scrambling on the stove, "It's Ty," she whispered breathlessly.

Susie's eyes widened, "Ryder's brother Ty?"

Liza nodded, "You know me, I've always been a sucker for a man with a badge. But it's so much more than that! When he looks at me I feel like I am the only woman in the world and when he touched my hand...." she closed her eyes and swooned, "He's mine... The one for me."

"He seems like a good man," Susie agreed, happy for the woman she had come to see as a sister, "Does he feel the same way about you?"

Liza shrugged as she handed a melon and a knife to Susie, who quickly began cutting, "I kept feeling his eyes on me all day and he did say that he was going to come back today and he hoped I would be here."

"Don't you have to go back to Austin soon? And he'll have to go back to Tortulla, what will you do then?"

Liza frowned and slammed some plates down on the table, "Count on you to bring reality crashing down around my dream!" she exclaimed with irritation. "Maybe I won't go back to Austin. My contract was over with the school. I could move back here. Start a school and Ty could... He could...Dang you, Susie! Now I'm not so happy anymore."

Susie bit her lip and smiled apologetically, "I didn't mean to make you unhappy."

"What about you and Ryder? He came back for you," Liza noted as she pulled the finished biscuits from the oven.

"Yes he did." Susie said as she blushed and concentrated on the melon she was chopping. The juice covered her hands and made her hold on the knife slick. She had cut up hundreds of fresh melons in her life but never while being distracted by thoughts of a devilishly handsome golden brown eyed man with firm lips, thick dark hair and a smile that stopped her heart.

"Do you think he'll...." Liza's question was interrupted when the knife Susie was using slipped and sliced down her finger. Susie let out a squeal of pain and instantly stuck her finger in her mouth.

"Are you okay?!" Liza exclaimed as she grabbed a towel and walked toward her.

"What happened?" Ryder demanded as his head suddenly appeared in the window.

Susie's eyes widened when she saw him and she pulled her burning finger out of her mouth long enough to speak, "Don't you ever use a door?" she demanded and Liza took a step back. She had never heard Susie speak in such an impatient and rude tone with anyone before.

Ryder simply shrugged and climbed in through the window as if it was a perfectly normal thing to do, "Doors are overrated." He crossed the kitchen quickly and dropped to one knee in front of Susie's chair. He grabbed her arm and held her hand up so he could look at her finger. The cut was long but not deep and there wasn't much blood. It probably stung to high heaven though.

"You should be more careful with knives, you know," he warned with a grin, "They're sharp."

Susie rolled her eyes but couldn't help but blush, "Thank you for your infinite wisdom," she replied, her words dripping with sarcasm.

Ryder used his free hand to scratch his head, "I don't know many big ol' words like that but I sure know sarcasm when I hear it." he looked back at her finger with a sad frown, "Did I do something wrong?"

Guilt filled Susie, "No, you didn't. I'm sorry."

Liza nearly laughed out loud at her apology and the lopsided grin that it put on Ryder's face. There was no denying that Ryder was handsome and there was also no denying that he wanted Susie.

"Does it hurt?" he asked gently as he propped his arm on her knee. Susie felt as if the chair beneath her was going to disappear all together and she was going to be floating in the air... His arm on her knee was the most intimate contact she'd ever had with a man other than when he had held her in his arms after she'd nearly fallen in the river.

Her skin felt like it was catching fire beneath his touch and her stomach became filled with a million tiny minnows. His shoulders were so broad that she found herself staring at them and marveling at his strength, "It doesn't hurt too badly," she replied softly, finding that her ability to think and form complex sentences seemed to have left her.

"Maybe I can help," he whispered. His eyes locked with hers and she was sure that she saw fire in them as he raised her finger to his lips and pressed a kiss to her soft skin. Susie nearly jerked her arm away out of shock but he held it firmly in place.

Liza quickly turned away and busied herself flipping the sizzling bacon.

"Better?" Ryder whispered, his voice husky and full of passion as his eyes seemed to glow. Susie simply nodded, finding that her voice had stopped working completely. Ryder smiled and then quickly jumped up to his feet, "Let's go then." He held out his hand.

"Go?" Susie asked with confusion, "Where are we going?"

"We're gonna spend the day together, of course. You said before I left that you didn't know anything about me so I plan on changing that today." Ryder glanced over at Liza as if noticing her for the first time. "Good morning, Liza."

"Good morning, Ryder," Liza replied.

"Ty was still sleeping when I left but I know he planned on coming out today. I think he's interested in courting you."

Liza blushed and smoothed her hair, "Okay."

"Ryder, I can't just leave and spend the day with you. What about breakfast?" Susie asked.

Ryder smiled, "I already thought of that. I got the cart hooked up outside and a basket full of food and some sweet tea." He picked at the yellow curtains of the window.

"But I have to help with breakfast here and I have chores and...."

"Go," Liza urged, "I can handle breakfast and your chores will keep until tomorrow. The man wants you to come spend the day with him, so go!"

"She's awful smart, Sue. You should listen to her," Ryder urged with a nod. He bounced from foot to foot and motioned with his hand, "Come on, please?" he begged, sounding like a kid wanting a toy at the mercantile.

"What will my brothers think?" she asked, feeling her resolve fading. She had never been rebellious or wild in the least. She always made sure to complete her responsibilities and do her chores. The thought of running off for an entire day without first discussing it with her family was something she would have never even considered before meeting Ryder. But there was something irresistible about the way his eyes pleaded with her.

"Jacob likes me good enough," Ryder replied with a shrug, "And don't worry about Brody. I already told you that him and I are best buds." Ryder stuck two of his fingers together to indicate how close him and Brody were, "Like two peas in a pod," he added with a grin.

Liza let out a bark of laughter behind her hand and Susie giggled with disbelief, "Now that's a nice sound." Ryder said as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She blushed and stared at his throat instead of those eyes that seemed to captivate her, "What is?" she asked.

"Your laughter. Why it's a prettier sound than all the music halls Texas have to offer."

"What about the ones in the rest of the states?" Liza asked, thoroughly enjoying the way Susie was blushing and unable to speak.

Ryder shrugged, grabbed three apples and began juggling them, "Those too," he said.

Susie tried to come up with another argument. Some other reason she couldn't go spend the entire day alone with him and leave all her responsibilities behind, "I..." she started but a throat cleared in the kitchen doorway and caught her attention.

She turned to see Justin standing there, with a hand braced on the doorframe, "It's hardly appropriate for you to be in this kitchen and alone with the women, Ryder." When he spoke Ryder's name a sneer came over his face.

"I know..." Ryder grinned as he continued juggling the apples, "They might take advantage of me."

"Breakfast will be ready shortly, Mr. Vicks," Susie said without her usual kindness.

"I was planning on moving back into town today, Susie. I was hoping that you would help me to get settled back in at the hotel."

"Well..." Susie started but before she could say anything more, an apple came flying out of Ryder's juggling hands and hit Justin with a thud in the side of the head.

"What in the world are you doing?!" Justin demanded of the other man.

Ryder grinned sheepishly as he held the other two apples in one big palm, "Sorry 'bout that... It slipped," he lied.

Susie couldn't help herself... She began laughing and Justin's face reddened with both embarrassment and anger, "Are you laughing at me?" he demanded, taking an angry step forward.

Liza knew that Susie was too busy laughing to notice but when Justin stepped forward threateningly, Ryder's free hand instantly went to the gun on his hip and he gave a nearly undetectable shake of his head. Justin saw it and quickly swallowed hard and stepped back. For all of Ryder's immaturity, jokes and silliness, he clearly wasn't afraid to take care of and protect Susie. That was all Liza needed to know in order to be sure that she liked him and wanted him and Susie to be together and happy.

"I'm sorry," Susie gasped, as she tried desperately to cease her laughing. She glanced at Ryder who smiled at her and then she turned back to Justin's weasel like face, "I actually already have plans for today. I'm spending the day with Ryder."

"You are?" Ryder asked excitedly.

"I am," she agreed with a nod.

"Hot damn!" Ryder exclaimed with a happy jump. He walked over to Justin and stuck the apples into his chest. Justin grabbed them absentmindedly, "Have ya some apples, big guy," Ryder said and then he whispered so only Justin could hear, "Better luck next time."

Justin sputtered with anger and then turned on his heel and stormed away. Ryder turned to Susie, "Come on, love," he said as he headed toward the window.

Susie shook her head, "How about we just use the door?"

Ryder grinned, "Okay sure. If you wanna do things the easy way."

"Have fun!" Liza called after them as Ryder too Susie's hand and led her out of the kitchen.

***

"Do you always get up so early?" Susie asked once they were heading down the road.

"No," Ryder replied, "I used to keep pretty different hours. You know up all night and asleep all day."

Susie didn't need to ask what he'd been doing while he'd been awake all night. She already knew and she'd rather not think about that. He was here with her now and that had to count for something.

"Where are we going?" she asked as Ryder steered the cart off the road and across the bumpy ground.

"I did a little exploring before I came and got ya this morning and I found the perfect spot for a picnic," he replied.

"Where?" she asked again.

"Don't you trust me?" Ryder asked and he felt his heart break a little when she didn't respond right away.

"I trust you to keep me safe," she finally answered and Ryder sighed. Why couldn't the woman just trust him with her heart as well? He wouldn't break it for all the booze, whores or money in the world. She was it... All he wanted. But nothing he did seemed to convince her of that.

Silence fell over them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence but it was still filled with just a little bit of tension. Susie wanted so badly to trust him with her heart but what if he hurt her?

"And we're here," Ryder said as he pulled the cart to a stop. Susie looked at the sparkling pond surrounded by oaks and maples. Beautiful wildflowers of every color of the rainbow covered the ground, sticking out of the green grass everywhere she looked. The water of the pond and the dew on the grass sparkled in the early morning sunlight looking like gold and diamonds.

"I never even knew this was here," Susie gasped with awe as she looked at the breathtaking surroundings. The hills on all sides of them made it feel as if they were completely alone. Susie had a moment of unease. Would he expect her to make love to him? She wasn't at all sure that she was ready for something like that.

She looked over at Ryder just in time to see him launch himself over the side of the wagon, landing silently on his feet. He grabbed a basket and a blanket out of the back and then walked to her. He held out his free hand to help her off the wagon and then continued to hold her hand as he led her to the edge of the pond.

"I found it this morning. I thought it would be a nice place to talk and get to know each other," Ryder replied with a smile.

Susie nodded. This place would be nice for that. She just prayed that was really all he wanted. She watched him stretch the blanket out on the grass and then he sat down, folding his legs and laying his arms over them. He looked up at her and grinned, "You gonna sit down with me?" he winked, "I won't bite, I promise... Unless you want me too that is."

Susie blushed and sat down beside him. She too crossed her legs and then smoothed out her skirts around her, "That yellow is a real pretty color on you, Susie," Ryder said as he broke off a long piece of grass and began to roll it between his hands.

"Thank you," Susie replied awkwardly and she folded her hands in her lap and gazed across the calm water.

"So what do you wanna know about me?" Ryder asked as he tossed the piece of grass away and broke off another one.

Susie kept her eyes on the rippling pond, "Where are you from? Your accent sounds familiar to where I grew up in Virginia."

"Kentucky. Southeastern Kentucky," Ryder replied, "My ma and pa passed away and Ty became a deputy in our town for a while but after nine years, he decided that he didn't want to stay in Kentucky anymore so he decided to come out here and join the Rangers."

"Why'd you come?" she asked.

He grinned sheepishly and shifted on the blanket, "Um.. Well I uh.. I got in a little trouble and wasn't welcome anymore."

Susie's eyes narrowed, "Are you running from the law?" she demanded. If he was she knew that she could never be with him. Rules and laws were meant to be followed not broken.

Ryder shook his head quickly as he picked at a small tear in his denims, "No not the law." He looked away from her eyes and down at the red checked blanket they were sitting on, "The senator."

"Why are you running from the senator? Did you do something to him?"

"I didn't do anything to anybody... I did something with his sister," Ryder shrugged and rubbed his palms on his pants methodically, "She'd had a few before me, no doubt about it, but that didn't matter to the senator. As far as he was concerned I was just a poor ol' boy who had soiled his sister. He promised I'd pay if I ever came back."

"You get yourself in trouble over women a lot don't you?" Susie asked sadly.

Ryder shook his head, "Past tense," he countered, "I got myself in trouble with women a lot back then."

Susie couldn't help but feel skeptic, "And I suppose that's over now?"

Ryder gazed deep into her eyes. He reached his hand out and grazed his thumb gently along her cheek, "Yes. How can I make you understand?" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Have you ever seen a feather being tossed around by wind? Or maybe a little boat being tossed around on waves? That was me. I can't explain what my mind is like without making myself sound like a crazy person and hell maybe I am a crazy person. I have always had a hard time focusing on things. My brain races in a hundred different directions all at once. I've always had the urge to touch things, pick them up, feel them," As he said this his thumb continued to stroke her cheek.

"There's a constant chaos in my mind," he continued, "It'd drive me insane if I let it and that's why I started drinking so much. It calmed the water; it lightened that breeze. I still did things that I shouldn't have done. I said things I shouldn't have said but I never meant any harm by any of it....

"I was spiraling though. I was getting worse. I was drinking more. I was lying with women I had no business lying with. I was picking fights with men I had no business picking fights with. It would have only been a matter of time before I'd have wound up dead. Someone would have killed me.... Then I saw you."

"Me?" Susie was shocked by the amount of emotion and conviction in his words.

"When I'm with you I don't feel the chaos. I feel better. Calmer. I know you probably don't believe me because I joke so much and do things that others think are odd. I know I don't ever seem to hold still and you probably think I'm making this up but if you had known me before, then you'd know how much you've helped me. I need you, Susie Atkinson, more than you'll ever know."

Susie's eyes were full of tears as she stared at him in shock.

"I've been told a lot of times that I'm immature and I guess I am. I believe that life is made to live it and have fun while you do," he added. "But I can promise you right now that I would never do anything that would make you have to doubt me or that would cause you pain. You saved me. I owe you my life."

Susie bit her lip and then laid her hand over his on her cheek, "But you don't even know me.... How can you be so sure of all that you say you feel?"

"Ty always says I'm impulsive," Ryder shrugged, "I just say I don't waste time trying to doubt and second guess what I want and what I feel. My heart tells me that it loves you, my body tells me that it wants you and my brain is smart enough to tell me that it needs you. Everything else about you I'll learn in time and it'll be the best time I've ever spent."

Susie tried to wrap her mind around what he was saying. Could she be like him? Could she stop second guessing and doubting what her heart, mind and body were telling her? "Ryder, I...."

He smiled and moved his hand away from her face, "You need time and I understand," he said, "Really I do."

"I'm just afraid," she admitted.

"Of me?" he asked with confusion, "You don't have to be afraid of me."

"Not of you necessarily. More just afraid of being hurt."

"I won't hurt you," he vowed.

Susie shook her head, "Aren't you ever afraid of anything?"

"No. I've never felt afraid of anything in my life," Ryder admitted, "I don't know why... I guess that's helped get me into trouble a few times." He smiled reassuringly at her and went back to picking at the grass, "Take all the time you need, Susie. Get to know me, spend time with me and eventually you'll see that I'm right."

Silence fell over them again but this time there was no tension. It was a comfortable silence. Susie gazed at the beautiful surroundings and Ryder gazed at Susie.

"What happened to your ma and pa?" Susie asked and then she realized how rude and personal that question was, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. It's just that I lost mine too so...."

"You can ask me anything," Ryder replied as he stood and grabbed the branch of an oak beside them. He began pulling himself up and then lowering himself back down over and over and Susie marveled at the muscles in his forearms as they tensed and coiled. He'd rolled his black shirt sleeves up to the elbow and unbuttoned it so that most of his tan, lean chest was visible. She wondered what that skin would feel like beneath her fingertips.

"My pa worked in the coal mines," Ryder replied, seeming to not notice the way she couldn't take her eyes off of him as he continued to do pull ups on the branch, "One day there was a roof collapse and he was killed. My ma died a few months later. The doctor couldn't find any real reason and so he listed it as natural causes. I say it was a broken heart."

"How old were you?" Susie asked.

"Fifteen," he replied, "Ty was twenty. He took care of me after they died. I put him through a lot. I'm lucky he didn't kill me himself."

"Family sticks together no matter what," Susie stated and then she gasped with surprise when Ryder was suddenly at her side. She had only looked away from him for a moment and hadn't even realized that he'd moved.

He reached out his hand and slid a purple wild flower behind her ear, "What happened to your parents, Susie?" he asked gently as he took a seat next to her again.

Susie gave a sad half smile, "I was only a little girl so I don't really remember it. We were living in Virginia on my family's farm. Some union soldiers came through. Pa made Jacob and Brody take me and Sally under the floor. The soldiers shot my pa. Jacob says that Brody is who saved Sally and me because he kept us from crying out."

"I'll thank him when I see him again," Ryder said and Susie couldn't help but smile. Her smile disappeared as she remembered the story about that day.

"My pa was dead and those men, they forced themselves on my ma and my two older sisters before they stabbed them to death. Brody kept me and Sally from seeing our family that way but I know the images still haunt him. Brody left after our family was buried. He wanted vengeance and he set off to get it. Jacob stayed at the farm and kept it running while raising us girls.

"Brody never did come back home. He sent money and letters but couldn't bring himself to come back to where his family had been murdered. He eventually came here and met Elizabeth. Their story is a long one but it eventually brought them both back to Virginia and to the farm and then it brought Jacob, Sally and I out here."

"I guess that explains a lot about Brody," Ryder said softly, "And you too."

"Me?"

Ryder nodded, "Let me guess. You are the responsible sister. You are the 'mother' figure. You are a workaholic and you worry about everyone else before you worry about yourself. Am I right?"

Susie squirmed uncomfortably. How did he know her so well already? "Yes."

"You have to learn how to relax, take it easy and go with the flow," Ryder assured her as he stretched out on his back and folded his hands behind his head.

"I'm taking it easy right now," she reminded him.

"Yeah, but I had to twist your arm to get you here. And I think you would have told me no if it hadn't been for Justin coming in. You were just scared to be left around him."

"I'm not scared of him," Susie argued. "He's nothing but a little weasel, he won't do anything to me."

Ryder smiled as he sat back up with his knees pulled into his chest and his arms propped over them, "You don't have to worry about him doing anything to you anyway. If he does he'll learn the true meaning behind the song 'Pop Goes the Weasel'," he promised. He was smiling but Susie could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't joking.

"Didn't you say that you had some breakfast for us?" she asked, wanting to get the subject away from Justin.

"That I did," he replied with a smile.