"Jessa, wake up."

When I opened my eyes, Cameron was leaning over me, attempting to shake me awake. Cameron must have brought me inside and laid me down on the couch. My whole body was shaking and I was exhausted. Everything hurt as I started coming down. My stomach was full of acid and I had to fight to keep it from coming up. My head felt like someone was beating it in with a hammer.

"Get up and pack your things. I'm calling your parents to come get you." Cameron said in a clipped tone.

"Cami, I don't want to go," I whispered.

He backed up from me and ran his hands over his face. His jaw was clenched tight and he was mashing his teeth together. When he pulled his hand away, I was finally able to get a decent look at him. Just like me, he was a mess and barely holding himself together.

"I can't do this with you right now, Jessa." Cameron raised his voice, yelling down at me angrily.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"Why are you crying? You were the one sneaking around behind my back. How long have you been sleeping with him, Jessa?" Cameron interrupted me as he paced around the room like he was ready to tear it apart.

I pushed myself up into a seated position which took way more effort than normal. I laid my head back against the couch cushion and sighed. It was time to tell Cameron what was going on. It was time to come clean. If he understood my motives, then there was hope he could find a way to forgive me for keeping it a secret.

"I haven't been seeing him. He..." I started.

"I need the truth. No more Jessa 'sweet talk her way back in my bed crap', the honest truth." Cameron's whole body was trembling as he walked over to stand back in front of me.

"I'm not lying to you," I argued and tried to grab his hand. He pulled it back and sat down on the coffee table in front of me. Cam leaned down with his elbows on his knees and was concentrating heavily on his hands like he was having this discussion with then instead of me. He refused to look up. I wanted him to see my eyes. He would know what I was telling him was true if he would just take a breath and really see me.

He knew me better than this. But, unfortunately, his emotions were clouding his judgment just like mine did when Nathan threatened him.

"Why did you go back to him? Why now?" Cam's voice leaked out in a defeated tone. "I know things haven't always been easy for us, but I thought we were doing well. We have been working on things and we were getting better. I thought you were happy with me, Jess."

"Will you please just let me explain? I didn't go back to him. He was..." I began.

"Darling, you were in his motel room, holding his dick in your hand. Are you seriously trying to deny that you have been with him? I'm not that stupid, Jessa." Cam cut me off again.

"Damnit, Cameron Nash, stop interrupting me!" I screamed and hit the couch with my hands to try to get his attention.

Cameron finally raised his head to look me in the eye. My miniature tantrum had worked and caught his attention.

"Why? Just tell me why you did it." Tears were forming in the corner of his eyes. He wiped at them to dispose of the evidence, but I saw them and they shredded me from the inside out. Every decision I had ever made in my life hurt this boy. Even when I thought I was doing what was right to protect him, I managed to screw it up.

I took a deep breath and grabbed for his hand. He didn't pull away this time. Instead, he laced his fingers in mine and braced himself for my confession.

"Nate started coming back around right after I got back in town. At the last show I played, he found my hotel and cornered me in the hallway. He started saying you set him up to go to jail and planted drugs on him. He threatened to go to the media and tell everyone unless I gave him money." I explained.

"What?" Cam's body tensed. His eyes darted to the other side of the room and he squeezed my hand just a little bit tighter before he could look at me. He looked caught off guard. This was not the story he was expecting.

"After I gave him the money, he just kept coming around to mess with me. He sent me pictures of  when he followed me, my family, and even you. He tried to find ways to get me to use again. I think he wanted me to get sick like I was before." My stomach turned as I thought through every encounter Nate and I had over the last few weeks.

The worst one being the one that I didn't remember. My mind was inserting random memories into the missing timeline to try to cope with what happened. I doubted I would ever really know how I ended back up in that motel room.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know I would have stopped him." Cameron shook his head.

"I was scared. I didn't want him to hurt you." My bottom lip was out now and quivering.

"You went to him to protect me? Jessa, you should have just told me." Cameron slid over next to me on the couch and pulled me into his body.

"Ummhhhh." I scrunched up my face in discomfort the moment he touched me.

Cam's eye went wide and became dark when he saw my face. Before I could stop him, he shifted me around and raised my shirt up without asking my permission.

"What did he do to you?" Cameron asked with murderous eyes as he examined every inch of my battered and bruised skin.

"I don't know. He forced me to take a lot of pills and snort something before you walked in. After you left me, everything went black and I don't know what happened. I'm really messed up right now, Cami." I sniffed.

"Come on, Jess. Let's go clean you up." Cam stood up and offered me his hand.

He helped pull me to my feet, but the motion was too much for me to handle. I doubled over and threw up all over the coffee table. Cam jumped back just in time before it splashed back onto him.

"I'm sor.." I began to speak when another round spewed out onto the floor. I went to my knees as I struggled to catch my breath.

Cam bent down and picked my vomit and stomach acid covered body up. He sprinted towards the bathroom. I closed my eyes, fighting back the next wave from coming. The bouncing in his arms was unbearable. He placed me down in front of the toilet just in time for me to lean over it to retch again. He held my hair for the next ten minutes as my whole body turned inside out. I pressed my head down on the front of the seat. I was too sick to even care how disgusting it was.

After a few minutes without another incident, I motioned to Cam to let him know I was finished. The whole bathroom smelled awful; I could only imagine the condition that I left the living room in. Cam would have to open all the windows to air the smell out.

Cameron lent me his hand to help me up off the floor. He walked me over and sat me on the vanity counter. He reached down and started removing my tattered, vomit-stained shirt. I cringed as I felt the moisture trail over the few dry spots I had left on my skin.

"Is this ok?" He asked, looking down at me with gentle eyes as he traced a few finger-shaped bruises on my arms.

I flinched when he touched me. My body felt disgusting. I was uncomfortable in my own skin.

"Yeah, can you help me?" I asked, leaning into his chest with my forehead. I was embarrassed about everything, but I wasn't strong enough to do it on my own.

He nodded and unclasped my bra in the back and slowly pulled it off my shoulders. He frowned when he saw the bite marks and large purple spots dotted all over my breasts. He lifted me down off the counter and lowered his fingers down to unbutton my jeans. He slowly wiggled them off my hips and down my legs. He was crouched down in front of me in a catcher's stance when he pulled my torn panties off.

I was standing there naked and on full display; everything Nate did to my body last night was out in the open.

Cam chewed on his lip as his eyes tallied every little mark or imperfection he could see. He nodded and ran his hand over my stomach. He leaned in and laid his head right next to my belly button.

After a few more minutes of silence, Cameron got up from the floor and went to the shower to turn it on. He fiddled with the temperature for a bit until he was satisfied. I could see the steam rising as the warm water hit the cold tile. I started to walk over behind him and tripped over my feet. He was at my side again quickly when he realized how shaky I was still.

Cameron began removing his shirt.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You can barely stand up. Let me help you." Cameron said as he pulled off his boxers.

He wrapped his arm around me and opened the glass door for us to step in. I moved under the water and ducked my head into the warmth. The heat stung the spots where my skin was opened up. The worst ones were on my lower back and thighs. The water was tinged pink as some of the dried blood on my skin washed away. I watched as it slowly faded as the water went down the drain.

Cameron stepped into the water behind me and wrapped his arms around my body.

"I shouldn't have left you like that." Cameron apologized.

"You didn't know, Cami."

"Jessa, I will never let him hurt you again." Cameron promised.

That was when I fucking lost it.

Loud, inhuman sounds were leaving my body as I wept in his arms. I stood under the water, falling apart as he surrounded me.