"What are you doing? Stop. No. Will you please stop?" Cameron's distressed voice cut through the silence of the bathroom and snapped me out of my self-destructive psychosis.

I quirked up an eyebrow and opened the door.

I completely lost it when I saw Puddles going to town on Cameron's leg. Puddles was panting and grunting as he aggressively humped him like his life depended on it. When Cameron reached down to try to pick him up, Puddles snapped at his hand and growled. Cameron pulled his hand back just in time before Puddles sunk his teeth in. Cameron was trying to shake him off his leg, but Puddles wasn't having it.

Puddles was in charge.

"Cameron Nash, you are such a fucking whore." I crossed my arms and looked down at a frustrated Cameron who was sitting on the edge of my bed trying to keep calm.

"Will you come get this thing off my leg?" Cameron whined at me. I admired his control. He could have punted my little boy across the room without much effort. Cameron was trying not to hurt the little nugget.

"He's exerting his dominance over you." I walked over and bent down to grab Puddles, who was thrusting violently against Cameron's leg. "You are now his bitch."

I snuggled my head against Puddles and silently thanked him for humiliating Cameron. I really needed that right now. I walked my puptastic hero over to one of my old teddy bears to give to him as a reward for his loyalty. I laid Puddles down on the ground and he went straight to the bear to finish his business. Puddles was neutered, but it didn't matter. He was a little freak who gave it out freely. It was another trait he had in common with his batty dog mom.

"Please, come sit down and talk to me, Jessa." Cameron patted the side of the bed.

"I can't," I said, losing the fury the second I saw how warm his gray eyes were. I had yearned every day for two years to see those eyes looking at me like that. He knew what he was doing to me. He was going to manipulate me into having a conversation by pretending to be my Cami again.

I was feeling unstable and spastic because of his hookup confession. I wasn't sure if I could make it through a conversation with him. I was afraid I would give away the fact I had seen Nathan in the heat of the moment just to get back at him. I wanted to keep what Nathan told me a secret until I figured out what really happened and what I was going to do about it. It didn't feel like the time to bring it up just to cause another flurry of emotions.

I had the tendency to be a spiteful bitch when I was upset, which meant disclosing my secret to him in a fit of rage was an enormous risk.

I had spent the last two years keeping myself in line and the second I came back, I started struggling to keep my head above the water. Maybe the problem wasn't me; maybe it was this place and the people I surrounded myself with. Had I always known it? Is that why I always ran from here?

"Please, give me a few minutes. That is all I'm asking for. I will leave after we talk if that is what you want me to do." He begged me.

I sighed and gave in to him. I sat down next to Cameron on the bed and stared down at the black nail polish on my toenails for a bit. I wiggled my toes to distract myself as I anxiously waited for him to say something.

Being this close to him was uncomfortable because of the nature of my feelings, but I was surprised to find I actually wanted to be near him too. Again, the duality of my brain was fighting with each other. It was a confusing mix of emotions. I doubted if I would ever get them in check.

"I'll go first." He said when I didn't speak up.

"Of course, be my guest," I said sarcastically.

"You can lose the tone," Cameron said harshly.

"You can lose... your... I don't know, just lose something." I growled under my breath.

Cameron chuckled at me and I tried to fight the smile trying to escape. It was a stupid comeback, but I wasn't thinking straight. He could have cut me some slack and pretended it was effective. I would have done the same for him.

Well, probably not. I would have made fun of him too.

"Ok, now that we have that all settled. Let me start and please just listen. I don't want every time we are around each other to be like this. Our relationship may be complicated for us because of our history, but we were friends once too. I know you remember that somewhere deep down inside. We have been through hell and back, but we always did it together, Jess. You and me. It has always been you and me. That has to mean something to you. I know it does to me." His hand grazed my thigh. When I didn't move to push it away, he grew a little bolder and pressed the full weight of his palm against it. Cameron started moving his fingers back and forth softly until they rested comfortably nestled between the tops of my thighs.

"I know. This was not how this was supposed to be." I huffed in exasperation. He was only an inch or two away from touching me and I was torn on whether I wanted him to or not.

"No, it wasn't. It should have never ended that way between us. I am being completely honest here, Jess. I was really hurt when you decided to leave. I'm not going to play big bad tough guy with you and pretend it didn't affect me. It messed me up for a long time. I'm still messed up over you. You were all I have ever known and it tore me apart to lose you. I am still furious with you for leaving and can't get over it. I have tried every way I could think of to let you go, but nothing has ever worked. I don't know if I will ever understand why you left." He said softly.

"I'm not asking you to. I am just asking you to respect my decision." I said nervously.

"I am trying to, but that is all I can promise right now. It may not be enough for you, but it's all I can give."

He shifted closer to me and I leaned my head against his shoulder without even thinking about what I was doing. He turned his head towards me and laid his chin on top of my head. My body gave into him. I wanted to crawl into his lap and let him hold me like he used to.

I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Do you think we will ever figure this out? Can't we be normal for a change?" He whispered into my hair.

"Not a chance. Have you met me?" I laughed a little.

"You're probably right. We probably have a better chance at winning the lottery." He squeezed my thigh.

"I wish we could just start over, like go back to the beginning when things weren't so bad between us. I miss how we used to be. I miss my best friend." I admitted out loud for the first time since I left.

"Why not? We can be friends, right? We were before all of this happened." He said like it was easy and already a done deal.

"I'm not sure if it works like that, Cami. We can't just undo the things we did together."

"It sure does. Watch how easy it is." He stood up in front of me with a smile. He placed his hand under my chin gently and pulled my eyes up to look at his. "Hi, my name is Cameron Michael Nash. Do you want to color dinosaurs with me? I have a pink crayon for you. You can color the pterodactyl if you want to."

"My daddy told me not to play with boys because they are stupid and they smell bad." I smiled up at him. I couldn't believe he remembered the first day I met him in Kindergarten. I thought he had forgotten. He spent every day that whole entire year trying to get me to color with him. He would even offer to help me color my princess pictures so that I would play with him.

"Wait a second, is that why you didn't color my dinosaur book with me? I knew it was your Dad's fault." He chuckled and ran his hand over my cheek.

"Yeah, he told me to only play with girls, but you know how well I like to listen." I rolled my eyes and grinned.

"I'm really glad you didn't." Cameron's perfect smile extended deep into his eyes. His whole face looked younger as the weight lifted off his shoulders.

We could do this. We could be friends again like before.

Cameron took a deep breath and took a step closer to me. My heart started thumping out of my chest when his hand began to wander down my neck, across my scar and finished just above my collarbone. His tongue darted out and he wet his lips as I gazed up at him.

Just friends. That was us—just two friends.

There was a lustful need building in his eyes and I am pretty sure mine mirrored his. His fingers were dipping lower until they found my breast. He lightly ran his finger over my nipple, which was already hard with need. He took it between his fingers and pulled gently.

"Mmm." I whimpered and closed my eyes.

When I opened them again, Cameron was breathing heavily as he watched my body react to his touch.

Just friends being friends, that was all this was.

I placed my hand on his hip where my tattoo was. I traced the spot over his jeans and looked up at him.

"Jess." He whispered. His eyes were darkening as I ran my finger way too close to the growing bulge in his pants.

Cameron began to lean down towards me as I scooted my body back towards the center of the bed. He slowly began to crawl closer, inching towards me until his body was centered between my thighs.

We were both lost in each other as the air in the room thickened between us. He hovered over me and slowly began to lower his lips towards mine.

"Cameron, we're supposed to be starting over as friends." I breathlessly tried to remind him, giving him an out in case he was only doing this because I wanted him to.

"We are Jess. I happen to think I am being very friendly right now. Wouldn't you agree?" He smiled down at me.

"Mmmmhmmm." I couldn't form any words. There was a river flooding my panties. Cameron had opened the dam and I need him to fill it before we had to rent a kayak.

Deep down, I knew we could never just be friends again. I wanted him too much to keep our relationship purely innocent.

He left too much space between us for too long. He knew what he was doing to me. The anticipation was maddening. If he didn't make his move soon. I was going to be down on my knees rubbing myself on a support stuffed animal just like Puddles.

The doorbell rang and popped the hunger-laced bubble between us. My brain snapped itself back into place with the distraction. I raised my eyebrow at Cameron. He had an annoyed expression on his face as he leaned over top of me, holding himself up by his hands. I placed my hand on his chest and pushed him back from me.

Who the hell could that be?