I had given up on my additional rest day after I woke up on the floor of the hotel room covered in sweat and crying. I was utterly exhausted and petrified.

To make matters worse, I was still alone. There was no one there to tell me everything would be alright. The only person I had to lean on was myself.

I climbed into the bed and continued to toss and turn the rest of the early hours of the morning. My restless sleep was filled with nightmares that included Nathan's wicked face. He was crawling between my sheets as I was frozen in place, unable to stop him. His hands were tearing at my skin and my body was doing things for him without my head's permission. No matter how hard I tried to cry out for Cameron, he didn't save me this time. Nathan was draining my life from me and I could do nothing to stop it.

I checked out of the hotel and drove the three hours back to Ohio, completely lost in my head.

I took a deep breath and turned the music up on the radio to drown out my thoughts before they swallowed me whole. I tried singing with the radio, but it wasn't helping. I couldn't even find comfort in music right now.

When I got to my parents' house, the myriad of coping mechanisms I was using to keep my emotions in check flew out the window when I saw Cameron sitting in the kitchen drinking a glass of orange juice while smiling. He was talking to my parents and Jax like there was absolutely nothing wrong with him being there.

It irritated the fuck out of me.

"Jess? Is that you?" My mom called from the kitchen.

Cameron's head snapped back in my direction and his smile faltered for a split second as he looked me up and down. He shook away his thoughts and turned his attention back to Jax, who was telling him some lame story about a guy pranking the dean with hair remover. Cameron laughed and smiled at the right times, but I could feel the tension in his body language the second I walked into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" I asked with my guard up on high alert.

My mom was cooking something sizzling in a frying pan as my dad circled around the kitchen, hovering over her, stealing the food she was in the middle of prepping. She would attempt to smack him with the wooden spoon when he would reach his greedy hands past her.

"Oh nothing, sweet pea. Just making everyone some lunch." Mom smiled back at me. She pulled her lips tight when she caught me staring at Cam. I wasn't even attempting to hide it. He was in my house with my family and I was the one who felt like I didn't belong. I was about to lose control as he sat there like nothing was wrong with what he was doing.

The perfect little family enjoying life without me. I felt like I was on the outside looking in. They were all happier with me gone. Cameron's words the night I came back kept swirling in my head.

"You should have stayed gone." I could hear his words echoing through my brain.

He was right. This wasn't my home anymore.

Fuck Cameron. Fuck Nathan. Fuck my family. Fuck everything.

I bit my lip and wiped the tears back that were threatening to gush out.

"I'm going to go clean up," I said and then bolted from the room before anyone could stop me.

Between seeing Nathan, the accusations he came with, and Cameron being the complete embodiment of a perfectly shaped asshole, I didn't have any energy to give anyone right now.

It was hard enough to just hang on every day without all this mess.

I grabbed a towel out of the hall closet and threw it on my bed. I pulled out a set of clothes I had placed in the drawer and took them into the bathroom with me. I turned the hot water up as high as it would go and hung my head under it until my brain was distracted just enough to keep me from exploding.

I scrubbed my hair and body as hard as I could. I felt dirty and wrong. Everywhere Nathan touched me last night felt disgusting. I wanted to wash him and everything around me away. My mind was made up. When I finished my shower, I was going to pack my bags and book a flight back to LA to escape. I could wire Nathan the money and be done with him. He may have followed me a few hours down the road, but there was no way he would go across country for me.

Even the boy who said he loved me wouldn't go that far for me.

That thought brought out a whole new set of enraged, sorrow-filled emotions. This pain was too much to handle. Why did it still have to hurt so much after all this time?

When I turned off the shower, a hand reached in the curtain holding a towel. I jumped in the air and almost fell back on my ass. I was lucky I didn't pull the shower curtain down as I grabbed it to stay on my feet.

"You forgot your towel on the bed, darling." Cameron's voice said softly from the other side.

"You can go away now." I bit back at him through clenched teeth as I snatched it from his hand. I kept the curtain closed while I dried the excess water from my skin. I should have locked the door, but who was I kidding? Cameron would still have found his way in; he always did.

I wrapped the towel around me for coverage, knowing damned well that was he wasn't going to move. I needed space from him and he wasn't the type to give it to me.

I pulled the curtain back and his eyes were wide as he looked down at my body wrapped in the towel and then back up to my face. He looked disappointed that I had covered my skin.

"I don't want you here," I said in a low voice as I stepped out past him. I walked over to the mirror and wiped the condensation off it to look at my reflection. It looked wrong. How did I become this person standing here?

Cameron stepped up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He ran his thumbs over my damp, bare skin. I fought the urge to sink back into him. I always found comfort from his touch, even if he was the person who hurt me. My light blue eyes were filled with misery as he held my gaze in the mirror.

"Jess, I came here today to apologize. I am so sorry for how I have been acting and I shouldn't have said the things I did. I am just so angry with you and I am doing a terrible job keeping it under control. I lashed out at you and you didn't deserve it." He took a step closer to me. I could feel the heat from his body against my back.

"So, you didn't sleep with Kelly?" I raised my eyebrow, waiting for his answer.

His face turned purple and his eyes darted to the other side of the bathroom. I had known this boy my whole life. He didn't even need to say it. Anything he was about to say was already showing in the expression on his face.

"You left here and you went to sleep with her after you saw me?" I shrieked at him. He spun me around to face him and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pressed against me tight, leaning me back against the counter on the vanity. He looked down at me like he was disappointed when I wouldn't touch him back. He lowered his forehead and pressed it against mine.

"No, darling. I didn't. I haven't seen her in weeks. I'm not going to lie to you. We hooked up a few times after you left." His hands were gently caressing my small of my back. "It happened a long time after you were gone and I didn't think you would ever come back to me. I was lonely, Jess. I was so lonely without you."

"Why her?" I pushed him away from me. I couldn't look at him right now. Either he had always had a thing for her that he kept secret from me or he wanted me to punch him in the face. Those were the only explanations for him choosing Kelly.

"Why anyone? It didn't matter who she was. The only thing that ever mattered was she wasn't you. None of the girls I have been with since you left have ever been you." His hands were moving dramatically as he tried to emphasize his point.

He should have kept his mouth shut while he was still ahead.

"Girls?" I bit my tongue and clenched my jaw. "How many fucking girls, Cameron?"

Despite my better judgment, I really wanted him to answer the question. My fists were in a ball and I was prepared to hit him in the face. I was going to throw one punch to his beautiful cheekbones for every girl he touched who wasn't me.

"That doesn't matter either, Jessa." He sighed. Cameron knew he screwed up.

"It may not matter to you, but it does to me. I'm going to get dressed now. You are free to go find another girl to torment because this very pissed-off one is over your bullshit." I frowned and pressed my hand against his chest. I walked him out of the bathroom door and slammed it in his face.

I began my usual routine to get dressed. I may have smashed a couple of things in the process of getting ready for the day. I might have even shattered the ceramic toothbrush holder into a thousand pieces.

I felt overly violent and nothing I was doing to distract myself was helping. I tried to use some of the deep breathing techniques I had learned in therapy, but of course, it wasn't working. It was a lot easier to calm oneself down in a structured low-key environment. Right now, I was about to go full-on Amazon warrior and rip the fucking door off the hinges.

Obviously, it didn't matter where I was anymore. I wasn't going to get any rest here either.

I was overly tired, terrified, and raging. Enough was enough.