I tell everyone we are through
'Cause I'm so much better without you

Chapter 19 ~ Here We Go Again

Trey Carter

There was something wrong with me.

I wasn't the greatest person to ever exist, I knew that, but who was? I was aware of the fact that I had a hand in destroying all of the close relationships that I had ever been involved in, and I was also aware of the fact that my fear of formally "coming out" played an important role in how I treated people. But I found my unlucky love life to be strangely peculiar, especially when people who didn't even deserve love received it before I did.

So there was only one conclusion to come to: there was something wrong with me. There was something about me that prevented anyone from actually caring about my well-being. There was something about me that made others think it was okay to sell me to their drug lords. There was something about me that needed to be fixed, fast.

"Trey, come on," Owen attempted to console me for the hundredth time since I decided to turn the yacht around and head back home. He didn't shut up for the entire drive back to my mansion, despite my constant refusal to acknowledge him, and he certainly didn't stop talking when we entered the house.

And here I thought that I had finally found someone who liked me for me. Owen didn't like me; he only planned on using me to save his own ass. I could've been able to comprehend Owen's lack of morals if it were any given day, but what really angered me ... what really tore me apart ... was that he had the nerve to give me away to that creep after everything I had done for him!

I could've left him stranded on the highway when he was bleeding out, but I didn't. I could've called the cops on him after Raven returned me to my house, but I didn't. I could've turned him away and refused to give him a place to stay while he dodged Lucifer, but I fucking didn't. And now that I was thinking back on it, I wish I had the cruel ability to do what I didn't do before, just so he would know what this heartache felt like.

"You can't not talk to me," Owen proceeded to diffuse the situation with his witty remarks, but if my straight face was any indication, I wasn't having it. "Trey, seriously. I was planning to sell you to Lucifer, but so what? I didn't. That's all that matters, right?"

The entrance to the piece of shit's guest room came into full view, and I didn't waste any time in throwing the door open and pushing him through the threshold. Raven lifted her head from the book she was reading, and she smiled a toothy grin. "Hey, how'd it go?"

Simply ignoring her, I shoved Owen away from me and set my attention on something far more important—the black haired boy with the busted lip hunched in the corner of the room. Seething in anger, I stomped towards the boy and grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him to his feet. I heard Raven and Owen question me about my impending actions, but I ignored their questions and dragged the boy out of the room. The very second that I stepped into the comforts of my own room, I threw the boy against the wall, watching as he hit the concrete with a thud and slumped onto the floor.

"What do you know about Lucifer," I demanded. Ake was in visible pain from being tossed around so frequently, but he didn't seem to care; laughing at me under his breath was his only concern. Growing irritated at this whole situation, I kicked him in his side. He howled in pain and moved quickly to clutch the area, but he didn't make a move to share any information. "What do you know about Lucifer!"

He chuckled softly. "So pathetic."

"Pathetic?" Surprised and slightly taken aback at his comment, I moved away from him, only to return seconds later with a baseball bat from my closet. "I should let you know that I play baseball, and I never miss."

Ake didn't stop laughing. "Whatever."

Positioning the bat over my shoulder, I offered a simple, "Suit yourself," before swinging the bat, full force, at his rib cage. There was no question that he had already broken a few bones and that I could have only made it worse, but like him, I didn't care. This time, he fell onto the floor and curled himself into a ball, bringing his knees to his chest.

"The next shot is your head," I hissed.

"Okay, okay," he managed to say in between strained groans and tortured screams. "The last thing I r-remember is that his men were on their way to r-raid Owen's apartment."

I set the bat aside and knelt beside the boy. "Why does he want him so much?"

"He's a traitor. He left the boss just so he could rival him by selling his own drugs on the street. That, and he knows way too much. Lucifer wants him dead and he won't stop until he is," Ake  confessed in a lot more words than he ever said to me. "There's nothing you can do to stop—" I grabbed onto a fistful of his black hair to bring him to eye-level, "—agh, shit!"

"Why did you betray him?" I asked, more because I was curious about Owen's temperament than I was about Ake's hidden intentions. Even after everything he had done to show that he didn't give a shit about me, I decided to help Owen so that he would finally leave me alone. But in the occasion that he happened to hurt Ake in the past, I needed to know if I would be wasting my time with all this.

"Oh, please, I didn't betray him. All he does is boss people around, and I got tired of it." He shrunk into himself when his eyes landed on my baseball bat again. "Besides, he was so smug 'bout flaunting Raven in my face. Fucker doesn't even treat her right."

"So," I drawled as I narrowed my eyes at him, "you thought giving him back to Lucifer would be proper payback? What's up with you stoners and your tainted morals?"

He growled. "Fuck you."

Rolling my eyes, I used a single finger to press his head against the wall; he flinched. "Why is Lucifer so hard to get rid of, then? He's a drug lord, for god's sake. I'm sure the FBI would have a field day with him."

"He has people in the police force," he replied. "He's got people everywhere, so just accept the fact that your boy toy is going to die a slow, lovely death while I watch."

I sized up the boy in front of me, in awe at the fact that he had the nerve to say such things when I had the upper hand here. Simply rolling my eyes at him, I stood to my feet and kicked my feet into a frantic pace around my room while I ran my fingers through my short curls. I snuck occasional glances at Ake to see an annoying smirk on his annoying face, which only fueled my desire to prove him wrong, and there was only one other person who could actually help me.

Fishing out my cell phone from my back pocket and simultaneously keeping a watchful eye on Ake, I dialed my mother's number and held my phone to my ear. I was genuinely surprised when she picked up on the fourth ring. "Trey?"

"Mom," I called out to grab her attention as though I was afraid that she might dismiss me to deal with something far more important. "When are you coming home?"

"Probably not until the end of the week," her flowery voice echoed through my ears. There were indistinguishable noises in the background, notifying me that she was busy. "Why? Do you need something? Just tell Rita to—"

"I need your help," I blurted out before she could continue to not be a mother, "like I need legal help."

"Legal help? Honey, did you get yourself in trouble?"

"I'm not in trouble, but my friends are. A drug lord is targeting them, and they don't want to go to the police for help because they're involved, too. I don't want them to go to jail, Mom, and you're an amazing lawyer, so please—"

"Honey," her voice sounded distance, like she had stepped away from the phone. "I'm extremely busy right now. We'll talk about this when I get home, okay?"

"Oh, um, okay, I'll—"

"Bye, honey!" Before I had the chance to respond accordingly, the line went dead, leaving me with more questions than answers.

Ake scoffed from beside me, making me narrow my eyes at him. "Will you stop with that smug look? Damn, you're worse than Owen." The boy's response, or course, was yet another laugh to torment my already tainted soul. Sighing, I helped Ake to his feet so that I could drag him out of my room and throw him into the room that he shared with his stoner friends. I caught a glimpse of Owen, but I tried my best to erase his face from my mind. If I actually planned on helping these horrible people, then I figured it'd be best for all of us if I just avoided him.

So, taking heed of my own advice, I rushed down the stairs and breezed into the kitchen with an urgency that I never had before. Rita was leaning against the island with a smile on her face, and when I took the opportunity to see the reason behind the smile, I noticed that Jonah was standing just a few feet in front of her. He, too, had a smile on his face.

"Hey," I cleared my throat. Rita turned to face me almost immediately. "What are you guys doing?"

Rita gave me a warm, welcoming smile. "Jonah, here, was just helping me make dinner. He's such a great cook. Taught me a few trade secrets." She glanced over at Jonah, who was still smiling at her.

"Uh huh..." My eyes wandered around the room, "...so, where's the food?"

"On the table," she answered swiftly. "Everything's already set for you and your guests. Dessert's in the oven right now, actually, so call your friends."

I sent Jonah a look that urged him to be the one doing the "calling." He gave me a short nod and disappeared out of the kitchen in the matter of seconds. As soon as he was gone, I redirected my attention to my housekeeper who was soon approaching fifty. "Rita, don't tell me you're into young dudes."

Rita's brown eyes widened like I had just suggested something completely absurd. "He helped me cook, that's all," she refuted as she waved a spatula at me. "Anyway, why did you tell me that girl, the blondie, was your girlfriend? Who's the guy and why did you guys do the do?"

"Rita," I patronized, "can we just enjoy dinner?" I didn't wait for a response because I had already kicked my feet into a brisk walk to the formal dining area, where a grand, mahogany, 12-seating table stood as the centerpiece of the room. Just like she had insisted, Rita set the table with silverware and food, ranging from Mac and cheese, stir fry, turkey, ribs, potato salad, and much more. I hadn't had a meal like this since Thanksgiving, which was the last time my parents and I ever got together to eat dinner.

I took my rightful seat at the left side of the table, opposite Rita, and patiently waited for the others to join us. But of course, when they stormed into the dining room, they chose to act like fools who had never seen food before. "Holy shit," Raven breathed out. "I didn't think I was that hungry, but seeing all this ... I certainly am!" She rushed to take a seat at the head of the table.

Owen, on the other hand, found it suiting to sit next to me instead of the other six available seats. "Fuck, I love me some turkey." He reached over the table to grab onto the turkey leg, but Rita cleared her throat rather loudly to make him freeze.

"We must say grace," she told him.

His brows furrowed in confusion, and then he looked to me for confirmation. "Since when is the help allowed to eat at the table?"

It took everything in me to not seriously blow my top, but somehow I managed to close my eyes and grab onto Owen's hand, as well as Jonah's, so that we could move on with this uncomfortable dinner. Rita gave a contented sigh before beginning to orchestrate the prayer that she had been reciting ever since I was a little kid.

I didn't get to see my parents much when I was little because they were always out and about for work, so Rita practically raised me. She was the one who introduced me to religion by telling me stories about Jesus and about all the wonderful things that God did for her. She told me that God would do wonderful things for me, too, if I just believed.

And in that moment, as Rita blessed our food, I believed that I was going to find the one for me. He wasn't Scar, or Max, or certainly not Owen, but I was going to find him. Someday.

"Amen," everyone said in unison, save for Owen who made it more than clear that he didn't want to be apart of this.

"And you use a knife, young man," Rita chided him, "not your hands."

"Yes, m'aam." He gave her an obedient nod as he reached for the knife beside him, so that he could cut off the turkey leg.

Several minutes into dinner, everyone seemed to be engrossed in various side conversations, while I just continued to be silent as I ate my food. My mom would be back at the end of the week, and then she'd be able to get Owen and his crazy friends out of my hair. I wouldn't have to see him ever again; all I had to do was hold on for another week.

Owen nudged my shoulder. "Still not talking to me, huh?"

"Don't touch me."

He nudged my shoulder, again. "You're way too sensitive, dude. You said it yourself. I'm an asshole. This shouldn't be a surprise. Don't be all pissy and give me the silent treatment."

Gritting my teeth together and training my eyes on the plate in front of me, I tuned him out. I didn't forgive him; I wasn't ever going to forgive him. But if he really wanted me to respond to him, he could've started by apologizing. But even that was a foreign concept to him.

"Fine," Owen continued to speak, with his mouth full, even when it was clear that I wasn't going to give him the time of day. "Maybe I should've sold you to Lucifer."

And just like that, it happened. Without even lifting a finger, Owen managed to snap every nerve inside me. He made my blood curl until I felt like the only proper catharsis was to seriously hurt someone—more specifically, him.

All of a sudden, I lunged at him, sending our chairs, and us, to the floor. The action made him spit out his food, and made his eyes grow wider by the second as I snaked my fingers around his neck to choke the life out of him. He squirmed from beneath me, and he even tried to stop me by tugging at my hands, but it was no use. I saw the humor leave his eyes as fear replaced it, and it was almost relaxing to see. It gave him a taste of his own medicine.

But before I could do any serious damage, I heard Raven's terrified screams sound from beside me, shortly followed by Jonah wrapping his arms around me to pull me away. As soon as he created a reasonable distance between the two of us, I slapped my way out of Jonah's grasp and stood to my feet to take one last look at Owen, whose girlfriend had rushed to his side to comfort him like he was the victim.

After shaking my head in disbelief a few times, I ran as far as I could from the situation, which happened to be my own bedroom. I fell onto the bed and buried my face into my pillows to drown out the sobs that were sure to come any second now. I had fallen for someone who didn't give a damn about me, who didn't gave a damn about anyone. I had fallen for someone who had his own selfish agenda. I had fallen for someone who hurt me, degraded me, on more than one occasion.

Why? Why was he so fucked up? Why was I so fucked up for liking such a fucked up person?

My bedroom door creaked open, and I lifted my head to see Raven standing in the midst of the doorway with a pitiful look on his face. "What do you want?"

"Looks like you need a friend to talk to," she mused as she stepped further into my room.

"We're not friends."

"That's very true, but we can pretend that we are for the next ten minutes." She flashed a cheeky smile as she plopped onto the edge of the bed just a few feet away from me, but I didn't make any effort to engage in conversation with her.

After a long moment of silence, she heaved a sigh. "Look, I love Owen. He's my everything. I don't know what I'd do without him, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. He's very misguided, yes, but he's a really great guy. I promise you."

"Then you can have him," I mumbled into my pillow. "I don't want him."

"See, that's the thing. He doesn't want me, well, not in the way he wants you."

"That's bullshit."

"Is it bullshit? Maybe, I don't know, but what I do know is that Owen has some sort of feelings for you. He doesn't want to admit it to himself because that's just the person that he is, but I can see it. He's kept you around for so long because he cares about you. He decided not to go through on his plan to sell you and therefore risk being killed because he cares about you, in his own little way. Up until you came along, he was such a miserable person with a tormented soul. He never spoke about his past with anyone, but he did with you."

I wanted to tune her out, but nothing I did seemed to work.

"He trusts you, and trust is everything to someone like him."

"So he cares about me?" I inquired as I sat up properly. "That means he's not a total dick and has a heart. It doesn't mean that he's into me, or that he wants to be with me, or anything of that nature."

Raven's lips peeled back into a smile just seconds before she replied with, "Well, I guess that's just something you'll have to ask him yourself." She lifted herself from the bed and began to walk back to the door, but I stopped her before she could leave.

"Hey," I called out. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because," she sighed, "Owen's my ride-or-die and his happiness means everything to me. I saw him beat himself up over what happened with Matthew, and I don't want to see him do the same thing with you." Without giving me any time to formulate a KB appropriate response, she saluted me and slipped out the door.

_______

a/n: I do apologize for the wait. I thought I'd be able to update more frequently during the summer, but I've been trying to juggle getting ready for college, work, and rewriting KB. Sometimes, I get so tired that I just sleep for 12 hours, so I do apologize for not following through on my promise for more updates.

I posted a message about this a few weeks ago, but just in case you haven't heard, I am rewriting KB for it be available for purchase. It's gonna have more laughs, more cheesiness, more realness, and more bxb love, and it's gonna be great. Of course, I won't be removing the original KB from here, but the new KB will be available in print and in digital (for kindles). If that sounds like something you guys'll be interested in, then let me know!

If you enjoyed this chapter, leave a comments and vote!

Until next time,
Lara <3