This is all so new
Seems too good to be true

Chapter 15 ~  Lightweight

Trey Carter

The moment I was aware of the fact that the sunlight seeping through my bedroom window was hitting my face, hindering me from getting any sleep, I stirred and slowly peeled my eyes open, being momentarily blinded by the bright sun rays. Turning onto my side, I prepared myself to greet Owen with a suiting remark, but my heart sunk to my knees when I saw the empty space beside me. "Fucking asshole," I mumbled. Silly me for thinking that he'd stick around. He probably felt disgusted by what we did, since he was oh-so-straight.

I turned to my bedside table to retrieve my cell phone, but I moved way too quickly because a sharp pain ripped up my spine, causing me to fall back onto the bed. "Just great," I said to myself as I checked my phone for any messages. The only people who bothered to contact me were my old teammates who always seemed to hang out, but I simply ignored them like I always did.

My head hurt, my ass hurt, and most importantly of all, my heart hurt. I was never one to be too concerned about who I lost my virginity to, but I had always imagined that I'd finally bottom for someone who was worth it. After the deep conversation that Owen and I had last night about his past and all the crazy things that this Lucifer character forced him to do, I fooled myself into thinking he was worth it. Well, it looked like the joke was on me!

Deciding to try again, I used every inch of my strength in my body to sit up straight, ignoring the pain. I dragged a lazy hand down my face and sighed heavily. As I sat there in solitude, I couldn't help but think about Scar and how he was doing. I didn't really know where our friendship stood after I had foolishly tried to kiss him, but I really hoped it wasn't over. My heart wouldn't be able to handle that.

Suddenly, my bathroom door creaked open and a familiar, nude, black-haired male slipped through the doorway, fully exposing himself to me. My heart jumped in my chest at his presence, but at the same time, I was sorta happy that he had decided to stay instead of bailing on me. "Wow, you're still here," I commented.

Owen scoffed. "Of course. I wasn't gonna leave until the Mexican lady made me breakfast."

"She's Peruvian."

He dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand. "Whatever."

Tiny drops of water dotted his skin, indicating that he had just taken a shower, but my gaze was instantly glued to the lower part of his body. He hadn't bothered to cover himself and it didn't look like he was planning to. He looked slightly more impressive now that I could see him in the daytime.

Owen cleared his throat which made me snap my eyes back to his. He studied me for a long moment, then smiled. "God, you're so gay." He crossed the room to grab my towel and wrapped it around his waist.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, so are you. Should I remind you that you stuck your dick in my ass ... even if it was just for a few seconds ... still sounds pretty gay to me."

Owen didn't comment, nor did he send me a playful grin like he always did; instead, he turned his back to me and stared at one of the photographs on my computer desk—one of me and Scar when we were kids.

I covered myself with my sheets and crawled to the edge of the bed. "Are you okay?"

He whipped around to look at me, his green eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Yeah," he answered a little too quickly to be convincing, "why wouldn't I be okay?"

Shrugging, I said, "Well, you revealed some pretty important information to me last night and ... I just wanted to make sure that you were okay now. It's kinda scary to see you cry, if I'm being honest. I pegged you for a sadistic racist who had no feelings whatsoever."

Owen blinked at me. He didn't smile and he didn't say anything else. He just stared.

"Did I say something?" I questioned, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious. "Fuck, I'm sorry if I hit a nerve. You can go back to calling me derogatory names, now."

Owen turned around again as he raked an unsteady hand through his disheveled hair. It was obvious that he was fighting some ongoing battle in his head—I just wished he would talk to me about it, but of course, that was a lot to ask from someone who kept secrets from his own brother. Eventually, though, he slumped onto the lounge chair in the corner of the room and released a heavy sigh. "I need a smoke," he said, "that's what I need."

"Or you could just chill out and stop trying to kill yourself," I advised. It was such a bold move to make considering that I never expressed my opinion on his smoking and drinking habits. But if I had to be truthful to myself, I wanted Owen to be around for a long time and that wasn't going to happen if he continued this lifestyle he was living.

Even then, Owen said nothing.

I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me. Owen never missed an opportunity to insult me or deliver a snide retort. "Do you regret it?" I blurted out so quickly that I wasn't able to stop myself. He arched an eyebrow, so I decided to continue. "Last night ... do you regret what we did?"

A small smile came to his face, but I couldn't tell if it was sincere or not. "Sadly, no. It was kinda nice."

"Kinda?"

"Yeah." His smile turned into a mocking smirk. "Kinda."

I shook my head in disbelief and fell back onto the bed. It was the most I was going to get out of him, I figured, so I settled for a "kinda". It was ten times better than what I thought he would say, so I let my eyes flicker shut and pictured last night's events of naked skin and lots of touching. A smile twitched onto my lips when I remembered the way Owen rocked his hips into me, regardless of the fact that it had triggered a dark memory.

"But all that aside..." Owen planted his feet into the floor, "...I'm gonna need a new partner since Ake and Raven are out of the picture. Are you in?"

I shrugged. "Depends. Why is Raven out of the picture?"

Something strange flickered in Owen's eyes, like he was taken aback by the question. Maybe I did have somewhat underlying feelings for him, but I respected myself enough to not want to be with him when he was still with Raven. "She finally got tired of me," he ended up saying as he looked down to the floor. "Eight years of friendship ... thrown away like it's nothing."

"Friendship?" I scoffed. "You call that friendship? God, then what are we?"

"Strictly platonic non-friends who hate each other, but sleep in the same bed," he relayed back to me, being smart enough to use my own words against me. The minute the words flew from his mouth, he grinned in satisfaction and lifted himself from the lounge chair, being sure to adjust the towel around his waist when needed.

I watched as he crossed the room and dug through my drawer in search of clothes to wear. I momentarily hated myself for ogling the slight arc in the small of his back and the small of his bottom which was mostly covered by the towel. Words couldn't even express how much I wanted to feel his lips on mine again, to feel him inside me, so I clamped my lips shut and stayed quiet as he dressed in front of me.

It was a relief to hear the slight knock on my bedroom door because they meant I could actually focus on something other than Owen's toned body. "Trey," I heard Rita's voice call out, "what would you like for breakfast?"

I glanced over to Owen who was stuck deciding between two of my shirts. "Surprise me," I replied.

"Okay..." There was a brief pause, "...and you have a visitor."

My first thought was Scar, but then I realized that there was no chance that he would come to my house at nine in the morning just to say hello, especially not after what happened between us the last time I saw him. It was probably some idiot from the football team who wanted to pass a ball around because if there was anything I knew about my
former teammates, it was that football  was the only thing they actually cherished. "Okay, I'll be down in a moment."

Mustering up the strength to lift myself up from the bed and sucking in a breath when a sharp pain ripped through my muscles, I slowly eased my way to my walk-in closet while simultaneously trying not to worsen any the existing soreness coursing through my body. As I got dressed, the thought finally dawned on me—I had just lost my butt virginity. Wow, what an accomplishment!

Once I was fully clothed, I stepped out of the closet and made my way to the door. "Stay in here, okay? I don't want Rita to see you."

"Right, so I'll just sneak out the bedroom window?" he asked. "I told you, I'm not leaving without breakfast."

"And you'll get your breakfast," I assured him, "but just stay here."

Owen challenged me with a skeptical glare, but he didn't study me for long. Eventually, his shoulders dropped in defeat and he slumped onto the bed. "Whatever, just hurry up. My stomach's growling."

Sending him a pleased smile, I slipped through the bedroom doorway and entered the hallway, being instantly greeted by a fresh aroma of bacon. Following the scent, I descended the grand staircase one-by-one and prepared myself to run into the kitchen and possibly steal a few pieces of bacon, but my entire body froze when my eyes landed on a pair of familiar brown ones. There, standing just in front of the front door, was Max. As soon as he caught my stare, his face lit up with excitement and he charged towards me to engulf me in a tight hug. I was so surprised by his unannounced presence that I couldn't find it in myself to hug him back. He didn't seem to mind, though.

"Oh my god!" he squealed as he pulled away from me. "It feels like it's been years, but it's only been weeks! Trey, I missed you so much."

He was dressed in his usual attire: skinny jeans that were way too tight to be comfortable, no matter how many times he insisted that it was, a band t-shirt, and converse sneakers. His hair was different; it took me a while to realize that he had actually gotten a haircut. The sides were shaved down while the hair in the middle was outrageously curly (even though his hair wasn't naturally curly) with some of the unruly curls falling onto his forehead. I also noticed that his lips had a purple-ish tint to them, probably from lipstick, and his fingernails were painted a matching purple.

"You did?" was the only thing I could say. I was still at awe with his appearance. It had only been weeks, like he said, but he looked like an entirely different person. "Why are you wearing nail polish?"

Max's eyes dropped to his nails, as though noticing them for the first time. "Because it's a fashion statement," he said simply, "do you like it?"

It took everything in me not to cringe at the words that were coming out of his mouth. "No," I spat, "what's going on? Did that camp make you more gay, or something?"

Max's cheery expression disintegrated in the matter of seconds. "Did that camp make me more gay," he repeated, trying the words out on his tongue. "Did my absence make you more of an ass?" he fired back, his dark eyes wide with anger.

I shook my head. "I didn't mean to make you mad ... it's just that ... you're wearing lipstick and nail polish and I don't understand why."

"Because I'm finally not under my parents' influence anymore," Max explained briefly. "I'm free to be whoever I wanna be at art camp and I've made some really nice friends who helped me realize that."

He was talking, but I wasn't even listening. I was still stuck on the fact that Max seemed to look more girly. The Max I fell in love with didn't wear makeup and the thought of him doing so bothered me. "You're not turning into a girl, are you?"

The question came out wrong and I wasn't even aware of that until Max's eyes lost all of its fervor. "Wow," he laughed dryly. "I thought that maybe I could spend the weekend back in Summer Hill so that I can see my boyfriend and my best friend and what do I get in return? My so-called best friend accuses me of getting a sex change just because I wanna wear lipstick. You know what? Fuck you! I didn't come here for this."

He turned to leave, but I latched onto his arm to hold him back. "Maxxie, no, I'm sorry. I'm just not ... used to this. It makes you look different. I liked you the way you were before."

"Liam likes it," he tagged on, "he loves it, actually."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course he does."

"How does it feel to be out of school?" Max questioned, completely changing the subject of the conversation. "Are you excited to go to Notre Dame in the fall? You're gonna add so much spunk and fabulousness to their football team, I know it."

I pressed my lips together, deciding not to address the actual terms of my higher education life.

Unlike Scar, Max was actually a pretty observant friend, so it was stupid of me to hold out on him in the first place. "What?" he questioned. "You're not excited about Notre Dame?"

Sucking in a sharp breath, I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "Um, I'm not going to Notre Dame. I'm going to SHC."

His eyes widened. Before I had time to register it, he placed his hands on my shoulders and shoved me, hard. "What the hell? Why? You can't do football at SHC! Are you out of your mind?"

"It doesn't matter," I said with a shrug in an attempt to downplay it. "I can do two years at SHC and transfer into Notre Dame. It'll be cheaper that way."

But Max didn't stop there. "Why are you concerned about money? You have all the money in the world!" He fished out his cell phone from his back pocket and unlocked it, eyes glued to the device. "Don't worry, we're gonna call Notre Dame and tell them that you're going. God, what would you do without me?"

Sighing, I snatched his phone from his hands and held it behind my back. "Stop it, Max. I'm already registered for classes at SHC, and I even have a few classes with Scar, so it—"

"Scar," Max said, a slight bitterness in his voice. His gaze went blank for a moment, but the minute that he seemed to connect the dots and snapped back into reality, his eyes narrowed into thin slits. "You think that I've changed? Well, you haven't changed at all! You're always doing things for other people! You never think about yourself and what you want. I can't believe that you're actually going to SHC just to be with Scar! I should hit you, but I don't want to chip my nails!"

"You don't understand—"

"I understand that you're an imbecile," Max retorted.

"He's my best friend!" I continued. "I can't just leave him."

"And I'm your best friend, too," he pointed out, making me fall silent. "And as your best friend, I'm telling you that you're making the biggest mistake of a lifetime."

I clenched my jaw tightly and poked the inside of my cheek with my tongue. I had never said this before, but in that moment, I truly hated him. It wasn't his place to say what was good for me and what wasn't, just like he didn't care about my opinion on his new look. "You say that I never think about what I want—well, I want to go to SHC. That's my decision and not yours. Why don't you just worry about your new-found femininity and that stupid art camp?"

His jaw ticked in irritation. "You're such a dick! You know what? Go to SHC! I hope Scar's unconditional love for Jamie and his inability to like you in the way you like him tortures you for the rest of your life!" He screamed at the top of his lungs before dramatically turning on his heel to storm out of the house. As soon as the door slammed shut, rattling the door frame and seemingly the floors, too, I was left alone with an aching pain in my heart that couldn't even compete with the physical pain in my body.

"Trey," Rita's dainty voice broke me out of my thoughts and made me turn my attention to her as she joined me in the main foyer. "Breakfast is almost finished, will your friend be joining you?"

"My friend," I scoffed as I relayed Max's last words in my mind, "I don't think Max and I are friends, anymore." Rita's thin brows pulled together in concern and she looked like she had something more to say, but she wasn't allowed to pry—some dumb rule my parents gave her. "What is it, Rita?"

"I overheard what happened with Max, I'm sorry," she said, a slight frown on her face, "but I was referring to your other friend. The one in your room?"

My heart jumped in my chest. I tried to speak, but nothing came out, so I tried again with a strained, "W-what?"

"The boy who came with you last night," she continued. She was obviously uncomfortable with the subject based on the way she kept looking at me like she had expected me to connect the dots so that she wouldn't have to explain further. "There were noises in your room."

And just like that, my heart exploded. "Rita, you can't tell my parents about this, okay? I don't care about what allegiance you have to them or whatever. Please don't tell them that I'm gay."

Rita folded her hands in front of her and smiled softly. "My allegiance is to you, Trey. It's my duty to take care of you, not them, so you have my word. I will not tell them."

"Oh, my god!" I wrapped my arms around her small frame. "Thank you so much! I'll bring him down." Tipping my head in gratitude, I pulled away from the hug and jogged up the staircase to my bedroom, breezing through the doorway with an abnormal pep in my step. I opened my mouth to say something completely offensive to Owen, but my mouth quickly closed shut when I saw that he was nowhere to be seen.

What I did see was a note on my bedside table that wasn't there before.

I retrieved the note, half-wanting to curse him out the next time I saw him for leaving like this, and half-wanting to read the letter to see if he had a credible reason for leaving.

Had to leave. Rain check on that breakfast date?

I shook my head in disbelief and balled the note in my hands until it was just crumpled paper. The normal, sane response would have been to hate his entire existence for leaving when he promised that he wouldn't, but my reaction was a bit different.

I actually smiled.

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a/n: Back with another update in the matter of days? I am on a roll! Anywho, things are getting heated and I gave you guys a little surprise visit from Max! I miss him so much.

I actually really like this chapter and there's no specific reason why, I just think it's kinda endearing. Owen passed up an opportunity for free food, lol, so where do you think Owen went?

I also want to take a moment to thank you guys for keeping up with this story and this journey, especially since sometimes the chapters are difficult to write with all the important issues it deals with. If you haven't already, please check out the independent book in the KB series with Xavier's story.

Until next time,
Lara <3