Chapter 43
(y/n) POV:
"Yoda?" I questioned quietly in shock, as I watched the small green Jedi slowly approaching the lake house outside from his now wrecked ship. For whatever reason, he previously had his lightsaber out with an alert aura about him, but I watched him slowly put it into the deep pocket of his robe.
My heart pounded harshly against my rib cage. I knew he would be here soon, but not this soon. What am I going to say? What is he going to say? The anticipation of it all has been eating me up, and now that he's here, I feel like I can't sit still any longer.
I moved to make my way to the front porch and greet him, but a strong grip on my wrist stopped me.
"Wait." Anakin said urgently, with a hurt and confused look in his glassy blue eyes. "What were you about to say?"
I sighed, "I'll tell you after, Anakin. We need to talk to Yoda now and figure out why his ship crashed. We could all be in trouble." Of all Jedi, Yoda has always been the most cautious and careful of his entries to different planets. An entrance like this isn't normal for him.
I tried leaving again but Anakin spun me around by his grip on my wrist so that I was facing him, and brought his hands to my waist, holding me tightly to keep me from leaving. He shook his head, "No, don't do that. You can't just give me that kind of hope and then walk away from me like none of it happened."
Ignoring the pang of hurt I felt from his words, I placed my hands on his chest and gently tried pushing him so he would let go of me. "We can't do this right now. Please move, Anakin."
"No." His expression growing more frustrated. "Not until you tell me what you were going to say. Please don't make me wait anymore." He pleaded. I was pained even more from hearing his tone, the subtle crack in his voice. I knew he was trying to not cry, and that alone made my heart break.
I could tell he's been holding in these emotions for a long time; he wants to know is how I feel, and I've been putting it off because that's something I've been trying to figure out myself lately. At least, until today. I do know how I feel, and I'm not trying to be cruel by making him wait, but it's not something that should be rushed.
I brought my hand up to his cheek just as I did earlier, and rubbed my thumb against his cheekbone soothingly. He always loves when I do that.
I stood on the top of my toes so that I could lean into his ear, gently kissing the shell of it. "Please trust me." I whispered, causing him to shiver from the effect the contact had on him. "I want to take my time with what I was about to say. Once I tell you, you'll be glad I didn't rush it. Okay?" I murmured softly, keeping my lips close to his ear.
His arms trembled slightly, and he released his hold on me. "Okay." He spoke after a moment of silence, swallowing after his breath hitched.
I smirked a little, finding his attitude completely endearing as I usually have recently. As evil as this might sound, I have fun teasing him because it's rare to see him so openly shy and vulnerable. And I don't have any ill intentions by doing so, it's just nice to know that he feels that way about me after everything we've been through, and is willing to show it.
As I pulled away and began to retract my hand, Anakin grabbed it gently to stop me. "Wait." His eyes—filled to the brim with so many emotions—locked with mine, raw and vulnerably. "Can we...." His ears and cheeks darkened in a crimson color, and our eye contact broke as he looked down. "Can we stay like this for a few more seconds?" He asked quietly.
I nodded and chuckled at his shyness, how it was both adorable and eccentric. I placed my hand back onto his cheek, and watched in awe as his eyes closed blissfully upon my touch. His signature is suddenly so calm, peaceful, and serene. So much so that I can feel it in my own bones. My heartbeat tuned with his; I could feel each pulse through his veins, and it seemed as if my pulse naturally matched his own. I felt like in this this moment, both our hearts and souls were one.
As cliché as it sounds, that's the best way I can think to describe it.
Hold on. This all seems familiar now. I vaguely remember something similar happening last year, when I could feel his pain after he was hurt during our day on Naboo. And now, instead of his pain, I'm feeling his love and affection and peace.
Light and darkness, love and pain. Two sides of the same coin; two becoming one. Has this been the answer all along? I always thought that our prophecy was meant to show us how powerful we are, but maybe we've been going about it the wrong way all this time. It's how powerful we are together; not in violence or battle, but in love, and overcoming our anguish together. Our attempts failed last time because I wasted all those weeks trying to harness more of my powers, only for it to fuel a darker fire in my heart which brought me to where I am now.
"That's it." I breathed. "That's been the answer this whole time."
Anakin furrowed his brows at my words and opened his eyes. "The answer to what? What are you talking about?"
I retracted my hand from his cheek, "Go get Ahsoka and meet me out in the field where Yoda is." I instructed quickly before spinning around and rushing out of the house and into the open, my body full of adrenaline.
Anakin POV:
I sighed, watching (y/n) bolt away while I stayed rooted to the spot.
I agree that some things are better said in more calm and uninterrupted settings, but that doesn't make the entire situation any less frustrating. The way she spoke, though, is making me believe that my hopes could be true; why else would she say that she didn't want the conversation to be rushed? And that I would be glad she took her time? It doesn't seem to me like she would say all of that, only to reject me.
Either way, I shouldn't dwell on it too much. Talking to Ahsoka will be a good distraction, especially since I was planning to do so anyways.
I trudged out of the dining room; my legs suddenly feeling like heavy weights were tied to them.
I assumed Ahsoka would be in her room, but was surprised when I instantly found her on the couch, reading one of the many books that Padmé owns; she was specifically holding something that looked like a history book of Naboo's politicians.
I figured she must be reading it just to kill time, because of all people Ahsoka cannot stand politicians, with the exception of a few.
I chuckled to get her attention, "Thinking of becoming Naboo's next Queen?" I joked.
She smirked without looking up and put the book down on the cushion beside her, "Never in a million years." She shook her head.
I walked over to the couch and picked up the book she placed on the cushion beside her, and moved it to a separate table so I could sit down next to her. When she still kept her head down, I nudged her shoulder playfully with my own, and repeatedly did it even when she finally cracked a smile and began laughing.
"Okay, okay." She conceded, attempting to nudge me back.
"What was that?" I questioned in a feigned innocent tone, and nudged her again, "I didn't quite hear you."
"Alright." She laughed again and pushed my shoulder off of hers, causing us both to grin as the mood slowly lightened. It seemed like she was beginning to feel a bit better.
"Ahsoka," I began after finally deciding on what to say to her, "I'm sorry I haven't checked in on you lately. Even though you're not my Padawan anymore, I do still care about you and want to know that you're doing okay. You've done so much for all of us, especially (y/n). And she is grateful for that." I reminded her, hoping she was aware of how much we appreciate her.
Ahsoka smiled, "I know. She's become like a sister to me, and has been there for me just as much, more than she's realized. The only reason we've endured through this year is because we stuck together."
She turned her head towards me, "I'm sorry too. For snapping at you." She clarified, and began massaging one of her temples, her lekku falling over her shoulder. "As each day passes, it's a constant reminder that at any moment, we could be ambushed by a parade of storm troopers or Palpatine himself. I have this gut feeling that he knows all of us are alive. And it's frightening; the unknown, the fear of what's to come." She began to ramble, each word was spoken faster than the last.
I placed my hand on her shoulder to get her attention back once more. "Hey." I said softly, "I understand that you're worried, but we have a team now. And the other reason I came to see you right now is because Yoda is finally here. If anyone can make a well-thought out plan, it's him."
That and, (y/n) all but sprinted out of the house after she revealed that she had 'the answer' to something. We'll have to be filled in later, but it seemed like she was hit with an inspiration of some sort in that moment. And I'm assuming that it's good news, which is what we need right now
Ahsoka smirked and crossed her arms, "You didn't think my plan to get you and (y/n) back together was well-thought out enough?" She teased.
I laughed and shook my head, ducking it. "Not necessarily, considering that your plan might be working." I mumbled as I recalled our intimate moment before she left.
Ahsoka smacked my arm playfully, raising both of her eyebrows in surprise, "Look who's getting back in the game. Thanks to me, of course." She gestured to herself pretentiously.
I rolled my eyes and stood from the couch, prompting her to do the same. "Whatever you say, snips. Now let's join the others before your ego gets bigger than mine." I joked.
(y/n) POV:
"That was quite an entrance you made." I commented simply to my old Jedi Master, as soon as I had gotten a close distance behind him.
Even though I've spent months imagining our reunion, or at least when I would see him again, I was still extremely nervous to be in his presence after all this time. Especially with how difficult things were during our last few moments.
Yoda turned around slowly, holding the hilt of his lightsaber in one hand, and his cane in the other. His expression was keen at first, almost scrutinizing, like he was studying my appearance and force signature after being separated from me for so long. Much has changed, as I'm sure he's picked up on by now.
When his eyes met mine again, he smiled, "Glad to see you, I am. Changed, you have." He nodded, confirming my assumptions.
I chuckled, "In a good or bad way?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, genuinely curious. I have changed; in some good ways, but also....some not so great ways. So I'm wondering what change specifically he's referring to.
He shrugged and placed the hilt of his saber back into its sheath, and leaned on his cane in front of him with two hands. "Neither. But, not my place to say, it is. Decide that, only you can."
I was about to make a comment about how we had only just started talking, and he's already making it into a deep conversation. But his words instantly had me wondering in depth which parts of me that have changed for better, and for worse. I hadn't pondered it too much.
I shook that thought away, deciding now wasn't the time to think about it. "What about you?" I asked. "Did your year of solitude pilot any personal enlightenment?" If my tone was lightly edged with bitterness, I didn't try to conceal it. No matter how justifiable the excuse is, it doesn't change the fact that he left when I needed him most by my side.
His features grew solemn, clearly hurt by the implication my words gave off. "Apologize, I do. Hurt to leave you, I was." He admitted as his ears slowly drooped.
I stayed silent and waited for what he had to say next. Soon he sighed and looked back up at me, "Summoned me, the force did. Leave instantly, I had to." He began slowly pacing back and forth in a leisurely way, while recalling his experience. "Confused I was, at first. But, spent these months in training and meditation, I did." He then stopped moving and turned to look at me once more, with an earnest and unyielding gaze. "Realized, I did, that the force deliberately separated me from you. So you could find the answers you needed."
I blinked a few times, my brows knitting in perplexity. "Wait, stop. You're saying the force wanted me to...." I paused as I tried to piece together my theory based on what he's said so far. "Find my own path? Without you?" I questioned hesitantly.
He nodded, "Yes. Find answers, did you?" He asked with a curious head tilt. Though, knowing Yoda, and the force's impeccable timing, he must already know and is just confirming his belief.
I assumed he meant the epiphany I had just moments before rushing outside to see him. It was pretty uncanny, actually, if I'm being honest. He managed to land here right as I had that revelation about Anakin and I.
"Yeah." I nodded slowly, feeling warmth in my heart as I thought back to my most recent few moments with Anakin. "I think I did."
He smiled slightly, "Good, that is. Complete, my quest is, then."
"Wait." I stopped him again, still confused on certain parts of his story. "But I still don't understand why you had to be away from me for all this time."
He sighed and shut his eyes for a moment, hesitating. "Wrong, I was." He admitted slowly. "About you and your prophecy. And, misinterpreted the signs I received, I did. Had I been with you, only caused destruction, I would have." He dropped his sad gaze to the lush grass, and gripped his cane tighter.
Yoda was wrong? That's a first. But now that I've heard his reasoning, it does make more sense. He's saying that if I had gone by his guidance and influence in destroying Palpatine, it would have only brought more ruin and, who knows, I may have died that day at the Temple, or some other day. If I had continued to push my powers too hard then I could've killed myself, or those around me. And Yoda was the one who suggested those methods in the first instance.
"I had no idea." Was all I could think to say at first. But then a thought occurred to me, and I failed to bite back a teasing smile, "Also, did you just admit that you were wrong? The nine hundred year old Jedi Master who is never wrong?" I joked.
He smiled once more and shook his head, playfully hitting my leg with his cane, "Changed, your humor has not."
I laughed and nodded in agreement, happy that he found one good thing about me that never changed.
And I made a mental note to give myself a pat on the back later for not violently lashing out at him like I did with Anakin and Obi-Wan during our first exchanged words. Personally, I'd call that a big improvement.
We began to ease into more simple and relaxing conversation with him, now that we had gotten the difficult parts out of the way. I learned that the reason his ship had crashed is because he was shot at by imperial sky patrols, which he justifiably didn't know existed, considering his many months spent in isolation. And since he's thankfully alive, maybe this normally wouldn't be so bad, but the fact that he's still a very strong force user is making me worry that somehow, his presence has put targets on all of our backs.
Soon, Ahsoka's cheerful voice pulled us out of our conversation, "It's good to see you, Master." She greeted politely with a quick nod, Anakin following behind her. "Nice to know you're still alive, old man." He laughed and flashed an appealing grin.
Yoda narrowed his eyes, offended by the comment. "Old, I am not." He attempted to maintain a serious expression, but it just made us all burst into more laughter.
After a while, Ahsoka and Yoda became wrapped up in their own little conversation, and I watched them for a moment from a distance, feeling content that we were all together again and safe. I forget how lucky I am to have all of these people. No matter how I may have acted before, I sincerely do appreciate all of them and am happy to have made amends. In the end, it all turned out to be more alright than I thought. Being here with everyone.
It felt nice, and peaceful, making me forget about what was truly at stake in our lives. Even if just for a few short minutes.
"What are you thinking about?" A smooth, honey-like voice murmured into my ear from behind me.
I'd be lying if I said that the contact didn't make my heart leap to my throat. "I'm just happy." I responding simply, hoping the flushed color in my cheeks wasn't too visible. Anakin chuckled into my ear, and I felt one of his hands slowly creeping up my thigh, then caressing my hip. His breathing against my skin was cool, but gentle, matching the feather-like touches his fingers were giving my body. I closed my eyes, feeling nothing but tranquility from his intimacy. "Are you ready to tell me now?" He asked softly.
I would have laughed, if not for how erratic this was becoming. I find it amusing that he is absolutely hell-bent on knowing what it is that I was going to say to him. And honestly, I'm itching to tell him as well. He's waited long enough, and so have I.
I grinned and turned around, taking both of my hands in his, and preparing to confess how I truly feel about him.
At least, I was, until all my preparation completely vanished when a flash of blue lightening clouded my peripheral vision. And not only that, but multiple flashes surrounded the terrain all at once, causing the land to shake from the turbulence.
"What the—" I began in surprise, but was cut off when the ground beneath me and Anakin split between us, causing us both to fly backwards from the impact. I landed harshly on my back, and hissed when the back of my head began throbbing.
I whipped my head back and forth in shock, trying to get a sense of what in the world was going on. But I could hardly make out anything with my vision blurring from my harsh fall, and the fact that all I could see were blinding blue flashes. The lake house, the lake itself, the ground, the mountains, were all rumbling as if there was an earthquake at its highest level.
My fear spiked with each passing moment. There's no telling what entity or natural disaster is causing this to happen. Or so I thought, when a familiar icy chill swept through my body, making my heart drop. No. It can't be, not again. But what other explanations there? I should've known he would come for us sooner or later, I just hoped we'd have more time to prepare. But we couldn't even have that.
"What's going on?" Ahsoka's alarmed voice yelled. No one responded to her, but all to be heard were more grunts and thuds as everyone attempted to stay upright, I assumed.
I heard Anakin calling out my name at one point, but I was frozen, and too stupefied to even think about responding. Somehow the peace we had moments ago has now become a parade of chaos.
It was too late, anyways. I let out a sharp scream as the solid ground completely gave way and finally crumbled, splitting in every direction. My body fell into whatever darkness lay awaiting below, and I braced for impact, silently praying to the force for a miracle to keep myself and the others safe. That was the last thought in my mind as I plummeted further, and the light of day above me became smaller and smaller.
(a/n): Hope you liked this chapter❤️ This book is so close to the end! I'm very excited for it, and am hoping to make it more of a priority since it's so close. Thank you all for sticking with me on this crazy and spontaneous adventure haha <333
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