(a/n): I feel like parts of this chapter don't make sense - and I was on the verge of falling asleep as I finished it haha. So if something doesn't make sense then please don't hesitate to ask for clarification :)

(y/n) POV:

Much to my surprise—and despite my gnawing trust issues—Obi-Wan and I had a pleasant conversation. It may have started out a bit rocky, seeing as it started out with me punching and kicking him, but he said and did all the right things to get me to hear what he had to say. And if I'm being honest, I think deep down I wanted to make things right with him and to hear him apologize; but I was just so angry.

Even now, I'm still angry, but that's something I've been trying to work on with Ahsoka for the past year. So when Obi-Wan and I sorted things out with each other, I reminded myself of all the times Ahsoka reminded me of the importance of listening and understanding, rather than lashing out. I forget how wise she is sometimes.

But it really felt nice to have my best friend back, and to know that my fears were just fears. It will still take a while for us all to adjust to our new normal, but baby steps are better than nothing at all.

I had to take time to think about Obi-Wan's words when he confirmed that he and Anakin still cared about me and even tried finding me after I was presumed dead. I spent months believing otherwise and being so pessimistic about it, and that's not something to easily come back from.

It's been a few days since then, and we all unanimously decided to take the time we have here together to rest and recharge for whatever storm may come our way. That and, Ahsoka got another message from Yoda that he would be joining us soon, so we're waiting for him as well.

I think out of all the people I held the most anger towards, Yoda is at the top spot.

At least with Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the rest of the Jedi, I knew why they acted how they did. That doesn't make it better, but at least I knew. But Yoda on the other hand just disappeared off the face of the galaxy without telling anyone where he was going. He made me believe that I was the reason he left. I know now that he went to Dagobah for a personal mission that the force called him to do, but that would've been nice to know before I was thrown off the Temple roof. Maybe if he had been there for me and helped me through that strenuous week when I was alone, then none of this would have happened. 

But then again, fate works in mysterious ways. So maybe this would have happened regardless of if Yoda hadn't left or not.

Seeing him is going to be hard. Same thing with Anakin; I've still been avoiding him as much as possible. I'm worried about losing my temper and don't want to say or do something I'll regret. That, and every time I look at him, I get taken back to our very last interaction before our lives fell apart. I'm reminded of the look of contempt he left me with. And that reminder only brings me pain, reopening old wounds that I've spent so long trying to heal.

I'm afraid of history repeating itself, that I'll get hurt again. And in my whole life I've known no pain greater than that of losing Anakin. I don't want to be hurt like that again, the thought scares me too much to even look at him.

So, to maintain a peaceful energy inside of me, I tried a new meditation technique that I've been studying recently. I didn't think I'd get the opportunity to try it on Coruscant since it's a practice that requires water, but I can now that I'm in Naboo.

I stood at the edge of the docks outside of the lake house—the spot I usually go to be alone—and had my feet planted shoulder width apart. I was standing at the very edge so that the tips of my shoes were almost hovering over the water. My arms currently rested at my sides, and my eyes were closed in concentration. I blocked out any exterior sounds, senses, and emotions. I focused solely on the force, and my spirit.

Trust in the force, I reminded myself.

With that thought replaying in my brain, I brought my arms up from my sides and held them out with my palms facing up. While maintaining my currently serene mentality, I used all my strength with the force to lift the water from the lake.

Not only that, but the water I lifted formed into different shapes and curves that began to cross through each other. The water shapes swirled like eels, and some were merely morphed into spheres that soon popped like bubbles. All of my water creations continued to be lifted higher until the farthest part of the lake from me was also affected. I couldn't even try to verbally explain it, but the shapes looked almost like an amusement park, or the stars and asteroids in space that constantly swirl through each other.

I've never tried this meditation exercise before until now, and I'm pleasantly surprised with how well its working. I truly feel at peace with myself for once. Maybe it's the calm, and still nature of the lake.

Or at least that's what I thought, until something caught my attention that I somehow didn't notice until now. I had kept my eyes closed for a long period of time, and didn't open them until a few seconds ago to see what I had done. But I was startled to see someone else standing next to me, their hand in mine, and their other hand held out with its palm facing up just like me. I looked up to see none other than the person I've been avoiding since I got here.

"Anakin?" I asked in confusion without thinking. His eyes were closed in concentration just like mine previously were, but he opened them after I got his attention.

"Yes?" He smiled innocently at me, like he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. "That's a pretty cool technique you've learned." He jutted his chin out towards the water.

The second his eyes met mine, I was reminded once more of the scornful expression he left me with all those months ago. I quickly retracted my hand from his out of fear. But as I did that, the beautiful water creations we made instantly dissolved and the force was no longer holding it. And when it all fell, it splashed the both of us; not so that we were drenched, but as if it was raining for a few seconds.

"Woah." He laughed, wiping droplets of water off of his forehead. "If you wanted to see me get wet then you could've just asked." He smirked. His voice was soft and smooth as he spoke, almost making me forget my anxiety.

Almost.

I ignored his flirtatious comment and stepped away from him, "What do you want?" I asked in a leveled tone; not unkindly, but not with emotion either.

I still thought it was strange that I didn't sense him come up next to me, and that I couldn't even feel him take my hand in his. He was meditating with me, helping me to lift more of the water, which I'm now thinking is what helped me to maintain that serenity. The thought of that prompted my curiosity, seeing as I was so afraid to see him and be near him, yet what happened just now didn't bring my fears to life at all.

He shrugged, "I wanted to talk to you. That is, if you're done avoiding me." A lighthearted smile tugged at his lips.

I scoffed and let out a chuckle, hoping that would mask the tint on my cheeks from embarrassment, "I'm not avoiding you. I just like being alone sometimes."

That was partially true. Especially recently, I've found more peace in my alone time. As much as I also love interacting with my friends, it's nice to be alone sometimes as well.

He nodded slowly but still held an amused look, like he didn't believe me. "Well, how about this; let's spar, and if I beat you, then you have to talk to me."

"Spar?" I repeated in slight disbelief. "What are we, younglings?"

He chuckled, "No, but Ahsoka has been telling me how much stronger you've gotten, and that your fighting skills have significantly improved. That, and I can tell that you have some anger towards me that needs to be let out."

He was right. I did need to let out my anger towards him, but I wasn't sure if this was the best way. Part of me was still anxious to be near him, to be reminded of all the pain I went through because of him. And I didn't want my anger to get ahold of me as it has so much recently. But in the back of my mind, I was also concerned that this is all just a game to him. He seems to be awfully cheerful considering our current and past circumstances.

"So," I finally spoke after a few moments, "What happens if I win?"

"That's for you to decide." He winked.

I take back what I said. Sparring does in fact seem like a good way to let out my anger. I wondered if my concerns were true and if this really was just a game to him, but if not then there is a possibility that he could be purposely acting like this to get me riled up.

"Alright." I shrugged, and his eyes lit up for a moment at my agreement. "What makes you so confident that you'll win?" I asked as I turned around and walked towards the grass clearing behind the lake house, where there would be enough room to spar. The meadows reminded me of that day in Naboo, the day that I try to forget.

The grass was lush, vibrantly green. Small flowers dotted the clearing, and I didn't even notice them until I got close enough. The soft breeze whistled, almost like it was signing a song. This place would be perfect if it didn't bring back such harsh memories.

"I never said I was confident I would win." He said from behind me. My eyebrows knitted in confusion. Anakin is always confident, and never fails to ensure that everyone knows it. He's definitely up to something, though I don't know what yet.

I gasped when I felt a hand suddenly grab my wrist and spin me around. Anakin used his other hand to wrap it around my neck and pushed me against one of the ships parked in the clearing. The ship was cold, and I shivered as my back made contact with it. "But, that doesn't mean I'll lose." He smirked, making me think that this action was his way of starting our sparring session.

(Tw: Violence, punching and kicking, nosebleed - nothing lethal)

Feeling anger bubble inside of my chest, I gripped the wrist of his hand that was on my neck with both of my hands, and lifted both of my legs up to kick him in the stomach. I didn't think it would have much impact on him, but I surprised myself when he grunted and completely fell backwards. I forget how much stronger I am now, sometimes.

But he recovered quickly and hopped back on his feet in less than a second. I charged forward as he was standing up and threw a punch straight at his cheek. He winced and staggered backwards away from me, before regaining his composure and plastering on another smile, "That'll definitely leave a mark."

I furrowed my brows again, confused as to why he was acting so happy about all of this, that I just punched him. And it doesn't really seem like he's trying to put up much of a fight.

I spun in a full circle with my leg out and kicked him in the side of his stomach, making him groan and back away from me some more. I scoffed, "This is hardly sparring if I'm the one doing all the fighting."

He was currently doubled over, clinging to his stomach with both of his hands. After I spoke, I didn't give him a chance to respond and instead kicked him in the shin, making him fall to his knees. I came up right in front of him to kick him again, but couldn't because he reached one of his arms out to grab my wrist and twist it, not too hard, but enough that I cried out in pain and recoiled away from him just as he had previously been doing.

Eventually we both were fully on our feet again, standing across from each other. Anakin made no move to attack, so I did it first again. At this point it was just a repeat of me throwing half-assed punches and kicks at him, and him trying to block them or at least do a minimum amount of damage so that I staggered for a moment. But now I was really beginning to get annoyed that he was hardly putting in effort, and that this whole thing was just me attacking him.

"Fight back." I growled and roughly shoved his chest.

He laughed breathlessly and wiped some of the blonde curls out of his eyes that stuck to his skin with sweat, "Is that all you've got?" He challenged.

"Not nearly." I growled and lifted my leg high in the air to do a roundhouse kick aimed at his shoulder; already knowing he would block it. And when he shot his hand up to grab my ankle, just like I predicted, I took advantage of his block by reaching both of my arms under him as far as my flexibility would let me, and pulled on his leg as hard as I could to make him fall backwards. Since he was distracted, it worked.

After releasing my ankle in surprise, Anakin fell on his side with a quick cough. I moved to stand over him and planted my foot on his chest, "Give up yet?"

"Not nearly." He repeated my previous words and copied what I just did by grabbing my leg from off of his chest and pulling it so that I fell backwards this time. I wasn't quick enough to get my footing back, and soon enough Anakin pinned me down to the grass; his forearm holding me down against my neck. He grinned and leaned down slowly until our noses were touching, "Not bad, but you'll have to do better than that." He whispered, inevitably sending me shivers from the coolness of his breath on my cheeks.

But his words only made me angrier. I didn't know why my temper was suddenly skyrocketing so much, but the way Anakin was acting so happy, so normal, was infuriating to me. How can he just act like everything is okay? What makes him think he can just interrupt my meditation and ask me to spar as if he didn't break my heart the last time we saw each other?

I shouldn't have agreed to do this, It's not alleviating much temper, if anything it's making it worse.

My anger boiled to the surface of its breaking point and I saw a quick yellow flash, signaling that my eyes had changed color as they have so many times now. I wasn't surprised by this, but the smug grin of the man on top of me quickly vanished, and his face seemed to pale slightly. This is the first time Anakin has ever seen my amber eyes, I realized.

In light of his distraction, I once again used that to my advantage and leaned my head back, then with a grunt, threw it forward—a bit harder than I meant too—hitting him straight in the forehead. Or, at least I thought I hit him in the forehead. But I was genuinely shocked when I saw a deep crimson liquid surrounding his nose. Maybe I got a bit too angry.

But I didn't stop there. I felt like I wasn't even in control of my own body anymore; all I felt were my emotions clashing and it made me purely frustrated. He was making me frustrated.

"What game are you playing?" I questioned as he laid on the ground—again—and focused on wiping the blood from his nose. When he didn't answer, I kicked him in the stomach, earning another painful cough. "Answer me! Why are you not fighting back?" I cried. I wasn't even trying to spar with him anymore, I was just angry; angry that he abandoned me, angry that he was too arrogant to at least try and understand the pain I went through, and angry that he's not even taking this seriously.

(Tw ends here)

He choked out a laugh, coughing out some of the blood that dripped into his mouth from his nose, "It looks like you win, baby."

I scoffed, then turned around and groaned as I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "What was the point of all of this if you weren't even going to try?" I demanded.

"Well," He coughed again and winced, probably from the pain in his stomach, "I wanted you to be able to let out some anger, and that's what you did." He said simply.

I whipped my head back towards him, "And you thought this would be an easy way to get me to talk to you? To have me throw a few punches for your own entertainment?" I questioned harshly.

Anakin's eyes widened at my accusation and his cocky demeanor instantly fell, "No! That's not—" He hissed in pain as he tried to stand, and instantly fell back on his side, holding his stomach. "(y/n) that isn't it at all, I swear. Baby please listen." He pleaded as I began to walk away, shaking my head.

"I played your game, Anakin. But now I'm done." I scoffed and started to leave, feeling a knot tighten in my chest. The change in my energy also changed my eye color back to normal; I felt utterly dejected.

This was a mistake. I should've known from his attitude in the beginning that he wouldn't even try taking this situation seriously. This whole time he was just purposely trying to make me frustrated; which is the last thing I need right now.

But after I took a few steps, a sound suddenly made me stop in my tracks to listen. It was quiet, and slightly drowned out from the external sounds of nature but not enough so that I couldn't hear it. When I had stopped moving to listen, I could hear the sound more clearly to discern it. It was sniffling.

I slowly turned around back towards where I left Anakin, feeling my stomach churn uncomfortably. I was hit with a thousand pangs of guilt at the sight I saw; Anakin was laying on his side in the grass facing away from me. And he was weeping.

I'd be lying if I said that the sight didn't break my heart. Especially since I remember a conversation I had with Anakin a long time ago; he told me that if he ever cried in front of anyone, then he would be truly heartbroken. Another painful tug in my chest told me that maybe I truly misread his intentions, and should've given him a chance to explain. My anger was long forgotten in an instant, I couldn't bear the sight of him crying.

And the worst part is, I could tell he was still trying to hide it by sobbing quietly. But I still heard it.

Not needing another moment to think about it, I walked over to him silently.

I moved around him to stand in front of where he was facing as he laid on his side, and slowly laid myself down so I was in the same position across from him. His cheeks were stained with tears, and it mixed with the blood from his nose that fell all the way down to his chin. His hair was a mess, his eyes looked puffy and exhausted. Like the numerous walls he's built around himself his whole life have crumbled.

When he noticed me laying beside him, he instantly ducked his head and began wiping his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his robe.

I reached out and gently grabbed his wrist to stop him, and brought his hand down. His body stiffened in response and he still kept his hung and turned away from me. I felt even more guilty; the fact that he's afraid of me seeing him crying truly hurts. Though I don't blame him, since I was being pretty harsh.

"Look at me." I instructed softly, taking his chin in my hand and guiding his head back so that it was level with mine. I spoke again when he made eye contact with me, "That wasn't fair. I'm sorry." I apologized. "If you still want to talk, then I'll listen. I promise." I assured him.

He sniffled and glanced down at my hand, then back up at me. Then he nodded with no verbal response. I took my hand off of his chin and attempted to settle into a more comfortable position on the grass.

"I love you." He croaked out all of a sudden. His voice was scratchy with pain and heartbreak, making it seem like his words contradicted his tone. "I never stopped loving you."

I didn't know what to say, or if I was even supposed to say anything. So I remained silent and waited for him to continue.

"And I made a mistake." He admitted quietly, casting his gaze downwards away from mine. "I was frustrated, hurt that you kept that secret from me. But I shouldn't have completely shut you out. When Palpatine made us believe you were dead..." Another tear rolled down his cheek and he paused for a moment. "It felt like a piece of my soul was ripped apart. The thought of you being gone was almost enough to kill me. Every day I wish I could go back in time and change what I did. So then I could be there for you, and hold you every time you felt lost and alone."

I forced myself to look into his eyes as I was initially worried of being reminded of that look of hatred. But surprisingly, as he spoke his apology, I just saw his regular expression. And right now he was being his truest, rawest self. This was the most vulnerable I've ever seen him, making me lean towards the idea that maybe all of my fears are just fears, and that he is trying to be genuine.

"And the sparring?" I asked gently. "What was that about?"

He scoffed through his nose and shook his head, "I don't know. I thought beating me up would make you feel better, and that you would want to talk to me after blowing off some steam." He wiped stray droplets of blood from his nose and sniffled, "I wasn't playing any games or trying to ridicule you, (y/n). In my own weird way, I was just trying to help. I'm sorry that I made you think otherwise."

I nodded and suddenly became lost in thought. I got so upset for really no reason, but I think the bad memories made me more emotional than I would've liked. It doesn't make my overreactions okay, though. I reached my hand out and grazed my fingers over Anakin's cheek, my thumb gently wiping excess blood from them. "I hurt you." I murmured more to myself, realizing with a shock what I had done now that my mind was clearer. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

He shook his head and smiled, "It's okay." It pained me more to know that this was his plan, that he was expecting me to hurt him.

"No it's not." I sighed in frustration with myself. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I just got so angry..." I trailed off my words and looked away from him.

"I know." He agreed. "And that's my fault. I purposely made you angry, so I had what was coming to me." He chuckled, trying to brush it off.

I shook my head with a quiet laugh, "Still, I don't like knowing that I did this to you. What can I do to help?" I asked, glazing my eyes over from his nose to his stomach, which he was currently still holding tenderly with one arm. He's going to need a bandage for his nose, and healing ointment for his stomach. And lots of ice.

"A kiss would make it better." He said with a shy grin.

I rolled my eyes playfully, "You're kidding, right?"

"It doesn't have to be on the lips." He bargained with a hopeful smile that it would help his case. I wasn't quite ready to kiss him yet, especially since we almost had a death match. But since he's fine with it not being on the lips, and because he looks like he could use extra comfort, I decided to give him this.

I leaned forward slowly, earning a small shiver from him when my lips ghosted over his cheek. I pressed them against it as gently as I could—feeling like he needed gentleness right now—and felt his entire body relax from my touch. "Thank you." He whimpered.

I smiled softly in response as I pulled away. All in just a couple of minutes, Anakin has been both the source of my anger and peace. When I was meditating, I felt so much calmness when he was there, even if I didn't know it. And now after comforting him at his most vulnerable moment—which he chose to have with me after how I acted—I feel a sense of peace in that as well. It undoubtedly made me reconsider the possibility that all of my fears about Anakin are simply that; just fears.

(a/n): I hope you liked this one!❤️ I'm so sorry for the sad parts but thankfully it ended okay; I know it was a whirlwind of emotions and probably made no sense haha. But anyways, soft Anakin is my favorite🥺

Also if any of you like Obi-Wan fanfics, I just recently started one! It's called 'Redamancy' and only the cast list is up now but I'm currently working on the first chapter💕