ROSE

I sat outside on the swing overlooking the backyard. A warm yellow hue lit up the porch just enough for me to see the thriving green grass. The sounds of the night creatures were almost therapeutic - it definitely deferred from hearing the sounds of the nightlife in New York. I'd come back here. Once Dean was done, we would come back home. Because, although there were so many reasons for me to hate this place, there were just as many for me to love it.

The thought of Dean and I starting a life here sent a warm fuzzy feeling through me. It would have been exactly like New York. Maybe we could get an apartment and live together. We would be happy. I mean, why wouldn't we be when we had been happy all this time before. Just because I felt some strange compulsion to always be near Sean, or hold him so I could feel those weird yet delicious sparks lick my skin, or speak to him no matter the outcome. Just because I was going against what I told myself a week ago when I arrived. All of that shouldn't influence my decision about Dean.

But one week! I was so weak that I fell prey to whatever voodoo juju Sean had going on in a week. And to think I had a whole summer vacation to deal with him. What if I never got over this weird attraction? If something more blossomed between Dean and me the I'd be related to Sean. He'd be my brother-in-law. I probably won't see him either way, but we would share a relation that would be awkward. The sort of attraction I felt for Sean needed to be eliminated.

I stood from the swing, walking up to the wooden banister that bordered the porch and rested my hands on it. Inhaling deeply, I attempted to clear my mind but the humid air did no such thing. The sliding glass door opened and I smelt his manly scent before anything else. His brother smelt of old spice and him, it was all man and there was no other way to describe it.

"Oh, you're here..." His lack of disappointment did this weird thing to my stomach. I hoped he'd see me and head back inside, or I don't know, develop wings and fly away like some sort of fallen angel.

Fallen Angel. Wasn't that an attractive concept?

I ignored him but noticed the way he chose to stand a little too close beside me. His muscles rippled as he moved, flexing just enough for the veins on his tattooed arms to show themselves. The way the light caught his skin was marvelous, the shadow being downcast only emphasizing the ridges, dips, and curves.

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, bringing one of the cancer sticks between his perfect plump lips. For a moment, just a second, I wanted to be that cancer stick just to feel how soft those lips were. The inside of my palm buzzed, remembering the gentle kiss he had left there earlier tonight. It was so out of character for him to do something like that. I was slowly beginning to understand why Amira felt so strongly toward him. Even if it made her look loony.

He lit the cigarette and the horrid stench of burning nicotine hit my nostrils with vengeance. I tried to hold in my coughing attack, but just like the first time, I failed and ended up waving my hands around me attempting to part air the way Moses parted the red sea so I could get oxygen.

Sean chuckled - a sound that was too good to be mad at - as he held out the little devil stick to me, "Want a pull? Might take away some of the stress painting your face."

"I'm not stressed," I huffed, scowling when I realized I used all my good oxygen up to say three words. Grunting curses under my breath, I moved to step off the porch and into the small garden Lacy had. There was no pool but there was a massive trampoline in the backyard and it sure as hell was calling out to my inner child.

"Hey, where you off too?" His long, thick fingers gripped me by the arm and held me in place.

If he only knew that his manhandling opened up so many locked memories. He was the key I thought I threw away.

My face must have contorted in pain, or something close to that because he instantly set me free, stammering out, "I...I'm..."

"You're sorry, I know," I couldn't help the bitter edge my voice took. He made me feel so many different emotions, good and bad. It was him that made me face my inner demons, even when I wanted them to stay locked in their cages forever.

"I keep telling myself that you bruise easily but I can't stop myself," he sighed in exasperation, running his hand through his tousled locks.

That was the reason he thought I hated when he did that? I shook my head, not caring to correct him. He probably didn't give two shits about my personal life anyway so why would I bother with a correction, "It's fine," I lied but my lie fell short. Not even the smile that split my lips could have been passed off as believable.

"What's bothering you, Rose?" I hated the way he rolled my name of his tongue like that. I hated it because deep down I loved hearing it leave those cupid bow lips, "and don't lie to me. There's something on your mind and you've been in a fucking daze the whole night mauling over it."

At those words, a grimace tilted my lips downward and I felt my brows marry together, "You think just because you asked or just because you say my name differently from others that I'll suddenly open up to you."

His eyes scanned down my body, stopping and glaring at my thighs, "Still seems pretty closed to me."

"You're a disgusting pig!" I exclaimed, raising my hand to slap him but just before my palm could greet his cheek, he grabbed my wrist.

He made a tsking sound, dropping the half-complete cigarette bud before he could snuff it out with his boot. Leaving me no room to object, he turned me so my back pressed against the banister and settled his hands on either side of me. I was caged, well and thoroughly caged by a wall of firm muscle.

His whiskey and cigarette-laced breath fanned across my face, causing whatever words I wanted to speak to lodge in my throat. I thought I'd be repulsed by it but it only drew me in further. Everything about him drew me to him. He was everything negative and bad, I was everything positive and maybe good. Just like magnets, being attracted to one another was inevitable.

"Too slow, princess," he cooed and for some reason, I hung on his every word, "let's try this again. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours? "

"I don't want to talk about it," I fully intended on pushing him away when I placed my hands on his sculptured chest. However, that wasn't what I did. I ended up just leaving them there, feeling his muscles tighten before growing lax, "why do you call me that?"

"What, princess?" He scoffed, biting back a smile, "everyone treats you like one so why the hell not call you that?"

"You treat me like them sometimes and other times you treat me like crap. It's confusing."

"You deserve to be treated like a princess but how long do you think they can shelter you from the truth of the world? You don't get what you want out there," his head dipped, soft lips brushing over my earlobe as he whispered, "you can't flutter those pretty, long lashes and expect every man to fall on their knees."

"You don't know me or what I've been through so don't judge me," I seethed through clenched teeth. It was a struggle to keep my focus, "they aren't shielding me from the world and even if they were, I think - of all the fucking people in this world - I deserve it."

He brought his head back, cocking a brow in question, "We really need to stop doing this."

Those weren't the words I had been expecting to hear, "Doing what?"

"Having these fucked up heart to heart's under the night sky," he snorted, gesturing up where a cluster of stars twinkled in all their beauty.

"If I remember correctly, you started it." I accused, poking a finger into his chest.

"And how about I end it, too," Sean's voice dropped to a husky whisper, one that had my stomach flipping in delight. He used his left hand, the tip of his index finger tracing the outline of my face as he did once before.

The warmth from his touch wasn't what had my heart going crazy in my chest, it was the unmistakable need I had for him to continue whatever he had planned even though I knew it wouldn't be good. For either of us. We were going down a dangerous path, or at least, I was. I was already finding it difficult to resist him and this would create a bonfire out of the little flame I had burning inside me. And Sean, he would have felt nothing because he was that jerk that used you, took everything from you until you had nothing more to give.

It would all backfire in my face at the end of the day, which was why I decided to blurt out, "Your brother told me he loves me."

That halted him for a brief minute. A strange look flashed in his eyes, one that strangely resembled anger but had hints of something else. His jaw grew stiff, molars clenching and grinding together, "What finally woke him up?"

"You actually," I swallowed, letting my hands finally fall from his chest, "I think he's scared that there's something between us which is ridiculous, right?" I tried shrugging it off with a laugh but there was no amusement whatsoever.

"Ridiculous?" He pushed away from the banister, releasing me with a growl, "why can't I fucking stay away from you? You'd think my brother staking his claim would do something but no!"

"He's not staking his claim!"

"Oh yes, he is, Rose. He's making it known that I should stay away because you're his," his voice was rising, chest moving rapidly and nose flaring. If he didn't lower his voice everyone would hear him, "you know when he asked me to keep an eye on you I never expected it to be this...difficult."

"Difficult, how the hell am I difficult?" I quizzed, not caring to hide how offended I felt.

"It not you that's difficult. It's this," he gestured between us, "I want to fucking hate you with every bone in my body because doing anything else would be fucked up but I can't help myself when I'm around you. It makes no sense." Sean laced his fingers into his hair and pulled at the locks, "it makes no fucking sense but I know you feel it too."

Holy shit!

If hearing Dean's confession earlier today wasn't enough to have my head spinning, hearing these words from Sean sure did the trick. I stumbled back - as if possible - and gripped the banister with all my life, "Everyone develops some sort of infatuation with someone at one stage or another. That's exactly what this is."

"Yeah, infatuation..." He drawled in distaste, "hope you and my brother live happily ever after and all that crap. You two deserve each other."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, appalled by his choice of words.

"I just mean you're both getting what you guys want," he spat, fisting his hands at his sides, "he wants me to stay away from you and you've always wanted something more with him so con-fucking-gratulations."

"Sean..."

"Goodbye princess," he turned on the balls of his feet and left through the glass door before I could stop him, storming past Macy who held Lydia in her arms.

"What was that about?" Macy asked, looking back in the direction Sean stormed off and then at me, "we could hear him shouting in the sitting room. You guys woke Lydia up."

"Oh, I'm sorry Lia," I cooed, taking her out of Macy's arms.

She settled in my hold, arms winding around my neck and her face being buried in the crook of my neck, "Did you fight with uncle Sean?" She murmured, voice thick with sleep.

I sighed, pinching my eyes shut, "Yeah, I did."

"Is he mad at you?" She questioned further and I heard Macy chuckle at the little girl's perceptiveness.

Cutting Macy a glare, I replied to Lia as I ran a soothing hand up and down her back, "He probably is sweety, but let me worry about that. You should go back to sleep."

"I'm not tired anymore," she said mid-yawn, let's watch a movie. It's not a school night."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Can we watch Sonic the Hedgehog?" She gleamed happily and I simply didn't have the heart to tell her no. When she was born, I vowed to myself that she would never face what I did. She would never see the faces of the monsters hiding and waiting for her because I'd protect her.

"Sure thing kiddo," I sat her down, ruffling her thick hair, "get your dad to set everything up. I'll be there in a sec."

She nodded vigorously, running inside with excitement lighting up her beautiful face. I could already tell that Dylan would be scaring of many boys. Pretty soon that time would come and I wasn't sure if he was ready for that. He definitely wasn't ready when it came to me and I sure as hell gave him a tough time. I didn't mean to but back then, I thought I knew better than everyone else and chose not to seek help or take my medication when clearly instructed. At least he would have it easier with Lia.

"Look, I know I shouldn't be minding your business but this has to do with my family. You can't be stringing both these boys along like this," Macy began in a hushed tone, making sure no one could hear her, "we all know how you feel about Dean so mind telling me what exactly is going on with you and Sean."

I let out a harsh breath, "I wish I knew. He completely lost it when I told him what his brother did," that wasn't a complete lie.

"That boy feels for you more than he lets on," Macy patted my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, "don't judge him too quickly just because he's an asshole. There's always a reason for why a person turns out the way they do. You know that best."

"But what's his reason. I may not know him well but I do know that nothing drastic has happened to him for him to turn out like this. He said it himself, he wants to hate me," I pointed angrily in the direction Sean had gone.

"He wants to hate you but he doesn't. Has it ever occurred to you that he's never hated you? Maybe that's what's turned him bitter toward you because deep down, he knows he cares and there's no off switch to that shit. Trust me, I know," she drifted her attention inside, gazing at Axel and Dylan laughing together. Each had their daughters in hand, "and sometimes, when you care too much, it hurts more than being crushed to death because you have to live with the pain every day."

"I doubt he's ever cared for me to that extent," I shook my head in denial.

"Maybe not but he's always cared for his brother and he would do anything to keep him happy. If that meant never seeing you or spending time with you then Sean would have done it. Sean's smart, even as a kid he wouldn't put himself in a compromising position," this was the most Macy and I had ever spoken alone and for once, I didn't mind the words coming out of her mouth.

"That still doesn't justify why he's a dick to me majority of the time," I muttered.

"I know, but he's a lot like me. The whole feelings thing, he doesn't understand it and if you're going to help him understand it then you can't lead Dean on."

"That I know."

Sending me one last knowing glance, Macy strode inside and I followed suit, closing and locking the sliding door behind me. Entering the sitting room, I found Dylan seated on the couch, Lacy curled into his side. Damien and Lance were sat at the foot of the couch looking expectantly at the tv. Axel sat on a recliner with Alexis curled into a ball on top of him. She was a daddy's girl through and through. Her brother was probably peacefully asleep in one of the bedrooms with a wall of pillows surrounding him for good measure.

Macy made herself comfortable on another recliner and I sat on the floor. Lydia was quick to crawl up to me, sitting between my legs as if it were the most natural thing in the world. If I ever had kids in the future, I could only hope they would love and adore me the way Lydia did. Her love was so unconditional and selfless. She didn't care if I was related to her or not.

"I made the popcorn," Axel said, gesturing to the bowls of popcorn on the coffee table, "and Mason is out cold. Let's hope he sleeps through the night, or else he won't go back to sleep if he wakes up. He's crabby like you," his words were aimed at Macy this time.

"We should leave him here, they haven't experienced having a toddler around in a while," Macy whispered except we could all hear her.

"Hey, we love him but the best part about loving other people's children is that you can give them back when they get on your nerves," Lacy voiced, bending forward and petting her sons' heads, "and I have two very naughty boys to deal with anyway."

"I'm not naughty, he is!" The boys chimed together, pointing at one another.

Macy chuckled, "They do that thing Sean and Dean use to do when they were younger. It's freaky as fuck."

"Sunshine, language." Axel scowled, looking at the kids and then back at her, "nothing works when it comes to taming that mouth of yours."

I could already see the suggestive grin forming on Macy's face. To save from the trauma of hearing whatever she had to say, I quipped, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

"Why you littl-"

"Macy!" Axel warned, using her name which he rarely ever did. He had always referred to her by that corny nickname and, to be honest, it kind of had me turning a little green with envy. I wanted someone to look at me the way Axel looked Macy and Dylan at Lacy.

And I had someone who looked at me like that since childhood. Dean was always there for me and he had always looked at me with love sparkling in those beautiful dark brown orbs. I'd be stupid to mess that up just because of some stupid infatuation I felt for someone. The infatuation would someday leave but love, that lasted a lifetime. Sean was right, I had always wanted Dean and it was good to know that he wanted me too.

Lydia placed her head on my chest and I tightened my arms around her in response, "Can we watch the movie now," Came her quiet murmur, "or is aunt Macy going to talk more?"

I snickered at the kid's question. That mouth definitely came from Dylan, "Sure Lia," I answered, stroking her hair, "just ignore your aunt." With those words, I pecked her forehead and pressed play on the movie while I paused the chaos ensuing in my head.

I was like so into this chapter😭 y'all Sean was about to do something and she stopped him...WHY!!??? JUST FREAKING WHY!

ANYWHOOOO, listen to The Heart Wants What It Wants for this chapter 😲 song is up on the media!