ROSE

I was high, I knew that much. It felt like all the blood in my body rushed to my ears, causing a ringing sound that wouldn't dull down no matter how much I tried to ignore it. My vision began to blur, everything around me looking like fuzzy fluff balls of fur instead of hard inanimate objects. I knew I wasn't breathing because, technically, I had forgotten how to do the simple task. This meant my lungs burned for air and were slowly beginning to fail on me. Black dots flooded my blurry vision, dancing, and mocking me. Sweat coated my body, a minuscule layer that still managed to make me uncomfortable. The black dots began to dance faster and I couldn't help but follow their movements, inevitably making me dizzy.

If the world didn't stop spinning my lunch would make a reappearance!

I was probably about to hit the ground when strong, firm arms caught me. The comforting scent of spicy cologne enveloped me as I was brought to my feet and smashed into a hard, broad chest. Inhaling the scent I could only associate with him always calmed me. I took three large breathes before the ringing in my ears dulled down but I didn't want to leave his embrace just yet, so I buried my face further into him, wrapping my arms around his lean torso.

There was a deep throaty chuckle that could be heard, and I flushed out of embarrassment. This never got old. He would bring me up here every weekend to conquer my fear of heights but it never worked. It had been two years since we moved in together and I still hated the fact that our apartment was on the tenth floor. Standing next to the windows alone made my heart skip a beat, being on the roof made me feel like a tornado had scooped me up, twirled me around, and then spat me out.

"It's okay Rosie, you're okay. I'm right here," Dean's deep voice reverberated in his chest. Its rough sound differed from his boyish appearance. The contrast was rather amusing at times.

"I think it's safe to say that I'm never going to be okay with heights," I whined, my voice coming out muffled since my face was still using his hard chest as a pillow.

This was my version of pillow talk.

He began rubbing his hand in a soothing circular motion on my back, trying to calm my agitated nerves, "Well, at least every weekend you come up here and try to defeat that fear. Even if you're doing it just for me, it's still a major step Rosie. Don't lose hope."

With a sigh, I pulled away from him slightly to meet his dark brown orbs. They were so dark that sometimes I wondered if they were black but then the light would hit them a different way and they're brown would glisten, "I know I said I wanted to be brave and face everything head-on but this...this is something I'd rather not face if it's going to bring up the delicious lunch I ate an hour ago."

Amusement lit up his features and I could only stare at him in awe because of how handsome he looked. He hadn't changed much over the years but the little that did change made a vast difference. He now had a sharp jaw, define pink lips, a wonderfully straight nose, perfectly straight white teeth thanks to braces, and a head full of jet black wavy hair. 

As for his body, all that changed was the length since he had a growth spurt at ten and suddenly was way taller than me. He had a lean built but was toned from working out at the gym whenever he had the chance to. It was one of the many ways you could tell him apart from his identical twin brother. Their facial features may have matched but his brother was a fitness junky; buff and rugged.

Horns began blaring from the street below, causing me to jolt back to reality. I groaned, holding Dean's gaze because I knew if I attempted to look elsewhere the severity of how high we were would take its toll on me again, "Those darn cabs never know when to quit it do they!"

"It's New York," he said as if it answered every single one of my problems, "the city that never sleeps and all that. You know how they are. Anyway, let's get you inside," placing a chaste kiss onto my forehead, he scooped me up into his arms — bridal style.

The gesture caused a blush to warm up my already warm body. It was summer and the temperatures were beginning to pick up as the days passed by. New York's summers weren't as bad as California's; the heat didn't make me feel like I needed to walk around in the nude.

I ducked my face into the crook of Dean's neck and I felt him heave a sigh. With each step he took down the steps, the more relaxed I felt. My thoughts drifted to the first time we moved into this building. I was accepted with a full scholarship into Juilliard and moved to New York to attend when I was eighteen. Back then, I lived in the dorms since Dean had still been in his senior year of high school. A complete year without him by my side felt like complete torture.

He gained acceptance into NYU, along with his brother; both of them moving here the very next year. That was when we decided to move in together and began looking for affordable places. We came across this apartment and Dean insisted on taking it although I couldn't afford it; he paid for most of the things and only allowed me to pitch in now and then.

We were childhood friends, best friends. He never realized it but I eventually developed feelings for the goofy, nerdy boy that never left my side. I made peace with the fact that he probably would never like me in that way though. Who would when I was damaged goods? No one liked, wanted, or tolerated damaged goods.

And he knew how damaged and mess up I was better than anyone.

I heard our apartment door being opened and then shut softly so it wouldn't make a sound. He walked over to the two-seater couch, gently laying me down on it so he could switch on the airconditioning. I watched his movements as he stripped down to a pair of boxers and a white T-shirt. He sauntered into the kitchen and when he came back he had a bucket of rookie road ice cream in hand.

The grin that captured my face was inevitable. Rockie road ice cream must have been the one thing I couldn't give up for anything in this world. He slotted himself beside me, opening the bucket and delving the spoon inside it. He always fed me the first bite before taking one for himself; it was a tradition we had made growing up.

"So..." Dean drawled out after a moment, "I've been accepted to do that program I applied for at Oxford. You remember the summer writing classes?" He stared at me expectantly, looking at me like I were a ticking time bomb about to explode.

"Yeah, I remember the one," I sighed, allowing him to feed me another spoon full of ice cream, "That means you won't be spending the Holidays in Cali with everyone, right?"

He shook his head, "I'm afraid not, Rosie. This is a good opportunity to enhance my writing skills and it could open up so many doors. I would have turned it down if it were anyone else but it's The University of Oxford, the people who give the pass for new words to be added in a damn dictionary. This is, kind of, a big deal," excitement lit up his features as he spoke.

"I get it, I get!" I laughed at the amount of enthusiasm he had for writing. It was something that ran in his family, "You know you don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm happy that you've got this opportunity. And you thought you wouldn't," I snorted, swatting him on the shoulder, "You're such a pessimist sometimes."

A warm smile spread on his face, "So you're going down to Cali then, to visit Dylan, Lacy, and the triplets?"

I nodded excitedly, "Yeah. I miss my big brother, just don't tell him I said that because he might transfer me to a community college in Cali just so he can see me every day. He still cringes every time I mention that we share an apartment."

Dean chucked, clearly finding humor in my situation, "Imagine if you told him we shared a bed!"

"Dean!" I shrieked with wide eyes. I could feel a blush creeping up my neck at his words.

He licked ice cream off the spoon, shrugging a shoulder in the most nonchalant way possible, "What? I'm not wrong. Sometimes I even wonder why we have two bedrooms here when we end up sleeping in the same bed almost every night anyway. I blame you though. You refuse to watch TV like a normal person and sit in that room watching that laptop screen of yours the entire day."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't force you to join me. You can always watch TV out here and leave me be mejor amigo."

"One: the whole point of getting this apartment together was so we could spend time with each other and not so you can sit in your room the entire day and two: Your Spanish has improved or is it just because you said that one word that I now think that?" He quizzed, shoving another scoop of ice-cream into my mouth to which I grimaced.

He could be such a pain sometimes.

"Look my Spanish is limited to like ten words. Don't even ask me how I passed the language in high school because, to be perfectly honest, I have no idea how," it may have sounded like an exaggeration but it wasn't. I always winged the Spanish papers and it always worked out for me.

"Okay, we seriously drifted off the topic now. We always do that," Dean said, pointing the spoon in my face, "It's a bad habit so let's get this train back on its track. What do you think Dylan would do if you told him we shared a bed?"

"He'd probably make a trip to New York to break your knee caps if you're lucky. If he's really mad, my advice is to run, run as fast as those long legs can take you, and don't look back if you want to live."

"So you won't stand up for me then?" He asked with a risen eyebrow.

My lips split into a grin as I shook my head, "Nope!"

"I'm starting to rethink this friendship, Rosie." He sarcastically murmured, bringing his hand up to his heart and dramatically sighing, "I thought what we had was strong, was real. Now I know it was all a lie and you'd put your brother before me," he then went on to wipe an imaginary tear from his cheek.

"You're so dramatic that you could put the theater actors to shame with your antics," I quipped, grabbing the spoon and decorating his face with ice-cream. I giggled when he grumbled in dismay, placing the spoon into the ice cream bucket and leaving it on the table.

He then looked at me the way a predictor would watch his prey, before pouncing on me and tickling the life out of me, "Oh Rosie, you should know not to mess with me," he said between laughs.

I flailed my arms and legs, nearly punching him in the jaw but he dodged just in time, "Please stop!" I heaved, "I won't be held responsible for the injuries I will inflict on you if you continue," I squealed when his fingers began to tickle my sides.

"First say you're sorry," he persisted.

"Fine, fine! I'm sorry for giving your face a much-needed makeover with the ice cream," I squeaked when his fingers drifted under my arms, and then really rolled off the couch as a fit of giggles raked my body.

"You trying to say I'm ugly, Rosie?"

"Even if I do you know I'm lying so please, I beg you, stop." If he didn't stop now then I would pass out from all the laughing. I laughed more than I inhaled which scared me.

He pulled away and I realized that I was laying on the floor with him straddling me. The position didn't seem to bother him, he just looked at me with amusement in his dark orbs. Flicking my nose, he said, "I'm going to clean my face up, and then I have somewhere to be. Do you mind staying alone for a while?"

Dean and I went everywhere together especially since we had the same group of friends. He had made friends with students at his university and it took me some time, but I had also made friends at Juilliard. Once Dean and I moved in together, we combined our group of friends, introducing them to one another because it was just easier that way. The only person Dean went to see without me was his idiotic brother. The King of Jerks if you had to ask me. He had the knack of judging me and he never even attempted to get to know me.

"I'm cool with that," I chirped, "as long as you bring back something for me to eat. I'm feeling for McDonald's to be honest," as I said those words I began batting my lashes and giving him those puppy dog eyes that no one could resist. My lips pursed and I began making sulking noises.

"You're such a hoe for food," he chortled, "I'll get us McDonald's puppy," he bent down and placed a chaste kiss onto my forehead before removing himself from me to clean himself up.

~~~

I hated staying alone. It always evaded my mind how much I hated it because I always had company, but the few times I were left alone, made me feel uncomfortable and wary of my surroundings. The simple tick of the clock would get to me because of the eerie silence that would set in so I would leave the t.v. on, even if there was nothing good showing. I just needed a way to fill the antagonizing silence.

Sometimes, like today, I'd have one of my many playlists playing while I cooked in the kitchen. I found the act of cooking slightly therapeutic, considering my messed up brain, I needed a lot of therapeutic things to help me out. If it weren't for my meds, I would have gone completely insane by now.

Just as I placed the casserole I had made in the oven, my phone began to vibrate. I pulled out a bar stool, sitting at the kitchen counter before answering the call. Without even looking at the caller ID, I already knew who it would be. I didn't get many calls so it was easy to narrow down the suspects.

"Big brother," I greeted in a curt tone, inspecting the peeling nude nail polish that covered my nails. They somehow looked like the most interesting thing all of a sudden.

"Rose, how are you?" I could hear the strain in his voice as he said my name. As a kid, he kept a nickname for me; Baby B for Baby Bop from my favorite show, at the time, Barney. Growing up meant that I eventually grew out of the name, finding it a little embarrassing. Sometimes he would slip up, still calling me that name, but he'd correct himself just as quickly.

I kept my tone indifferent as I answered, "I'm good, and you?"

"Can't complain. What's happening this summer? Are you spending it with us or do you have other plans? I mean, if you do, it's fine but if you don't then that's fine too," he blabbered and I found myself smiling at his nervousness. This was his way of finally letting go of the tight hold he had on me. With everything I did, I always sort out his permission because he worried so much. Recently, he had been making the effort to lighten up and I appreciated it.

"Relax, I'm spending the summer with you guys."

He let out a breath of relief, "Great. The kids can't wait to see you. We had to separate Lydia from Lance and Damien. They were getting on my last nerve, continuously picking on their sister. So, you're going to have to share a room with her. I shifted out your double bed for a bunk. Hope you don't mind?"

I internally groaned, hating that my room was no more my room but what else did I expect. Those triplets got along as well as oil and water. It sometimes made me wonder how they all popped out the same hole, "Yeah, I guess that's fine. I don't mind. Just tell Lydia not to touch my violin. The last time your kids touched my violin they cut the strings and feigned innocence."

They reminded me so much of Sean and Dean when they were younger. Trouble makers!

"I'll pass on the message. Speaking of instruments..."

"Everything at school is great and I'm not skipping my meds just so I can play better," I said in a clipped tone, "I admit, I miss the manic energy but I've been doing better and that's what matters, right?"

The was a sigh on the other end, "Yes, that's exactly what matters. Look, I have to go. Lance has a loose tooth and Damien thinks it would be funny to pull it out with pliers. These fucking children. Lord help me," he cursed under his breath, something he did a lot over the years since cussing aloud wasn't acceptable. With children around, his wife, Lacy, did not allow profanities in the house.

"Are you positive that they are seven-year-olds?" I quizzed, trying to think of the way I behaved at that age. A shiver ran down my spine as I recalled the events of my childhood around that time.

"Yes, I'm certain," Dylan mused, "Love you, Rose."

"Love you too," I murmured, ending the call and giving him a chance to reign in his monstrous kids. They weren't all bad. It were the ideas that always popped in their tiny heads that were bad. Those boys did things without thinking things through but the girl, Lydia, she was shy and reserved.

That didn't make her any less of a menace though!

I loved them all. They were as good as blood to me. Dylan, my big brother, wasn't related to me in any way. When I was younger, I lived in the same foster home as him. When he turned eighteen he had to leave and they shifted me to other homes. Eventually, thanks to his wife Lacy, he found me and took me in. After a while, both he and Lacy adopted me. Although they became my adoptive parents, They were more like the brother and sister I never had.

The click of the door caught my attention. Dean strolled in, a smile splitting his lips but it didn't quite reach his eyes, "Something smells good."

"Yup, made a veggie casserole," I beamed proudly but instead of a mirrored reaction, I earned a scowl from Dean and then a look of utter disgust. I hated it when he made faces like that when it came to food. It felt so disrespectful but sometimes he couldn't control his facial expressions.

"Veggies? Why vegetables? Are you on a diet or something because you don't need one and I bought you that Mcdonalds you asked for," he grinned, placing the takeout bag on the counter in front of me.

Face palming myself, I groaned, "Shit, I knew I forgot something. It was boring alone so I found myself in the kitchen. Anyway, all the food should be finished by tomorrow morning. You eat like a turbocharged vacuum."

He shot me a wink, "High metabolism, Rosie. I get to eat a lot and still don't put on weight. I hear that's every girl's dream," Dean began wiggling his eyebrows at me and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Weirdo," I teased, "Did you see your brother?"

Dean's smile instantly fell, a deep scowl forming on his face, "I did. He's on a flight home this coming weekend and you're going with him, Rosie. Don't fight me on this, please. I'm not coming with you and I don't want you to go alone. It took a lot out of me to convince my brother, don't make me do the same with you."

I could see the exhaustion lingering behind Dean's dark brown eyes and that broke me. Any resistance I had to the idea vanished instantaneously, "Fine. He better act right, though, and not like he was raised by Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks."

Dean chuckled, "I promise, he won't interfere with you. Thank you." I knew deep down he believed those words but somehow, I knew differently. Something in me told me that this was going to be a bad idea.

And so, it begins! A new journey with my two new babies of mine! Urgh, internally gushing at these two! Anyway, whatcha think? Remember to vote, comment, recommend, and follow. Also, follow my IG, link in bio!