Title: Can't Stop Falling for the Void

Author: Flynn_JJ

This wasn't my cup of tea, only because teen fiction isn't something that attracts me as an adult. That doesn't mean you shouldn't read it, if teen fiction is your thing. It is also supernatural, which I do like reading. Despite not being crazy about teenage romances, this review is based off of the writing in general and not how I feel about genres. It is an honest assessment of my impressions, though there are other opinions out there. Don't get discouraged: I am trying to help you turn your work into a masterpiece.

Score: 4/10

Title: I'm not sure how the title fits in with the story yet, but the work is unfinished. It seems to be ominous, and I feel that it would lead us up to what might promise to be a great story line once the book progresses.

Cover: The cover is not bad, but I do feel it would pair better on a manga than a novel. If it were a manga, it would be perfect; however, I envision a darker, more mystical cover when I read the title, especially considering there are supernatural beings in the novel.

Plot: This is one of the points that made me pause. The chapters are short, which in itself is not a bad thing, but they seem to cut ideas off midway, or present scenes and ideas that are not completely developed. So by the ten chapters or so, there isn't much going on yet. I do not mind a slow lead, but they must be descriptive enough to keep the reader intrigued.

The book just starts with the main character meeting a guy, which is fine except that we are literally thrown into their conversation with no backstory on how they started talking. Again, nothing wrong with jumping in, but it has to be done with a certain finesse, or at least with an explanation in the next chapter or the end of that one. Flashbacks are a great way to go back and explain some things, but they have to be done near enough that the reader hasn't lost interest.

Definitely need to keep reading to see where the plot is going. There aren't a lot of chapters, and this might turn out to be great with a slow build up, so I'm hoping things start to kind of escalate a little with the plot as the writer continues.

Characters: They interact well, I suppose, as there's plenty of dialogue. I would caution against too much dialogue. There are details you can't really put into words that plain old narration can, and I think there could be more description throughout. That is where you will shine as an author: blending the two so they work off of each other.

There is decent background explained for the characters, but again, we are just kind of dropped in the story so it was hard to relate to someone that hadn't been properly introduced yet. They behave as I feel typical teenagers do, so again, if you like high school dramas this might be for you.

Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation: Beware of run-on sentences. There are quite a few throughout. Also, there are inconsistencies with tenses, which can make it difficult to follow. Watch out for missing words, such as and, of, the, etc. I would say this is a rough draft and suggest partnering with someone who has a penchant for grammatical consistency to edit the novel. Also, take time to go back and really think about how you lay out each sentence. It can go a long way for conveying to your readers what you want them to be thinking and feeling as they're reading this.

Overall, I think with a lot of work this could have a great story line. The low score does not mean it sucks, just that the novel is really held back by the lack of detail and grammatical errors. As I mentioned above, it is early in the story so I know there might not be much plot yet, but there should be some spice to get the readers to stick around and find out where this is all headed. It felt a bit like 'where are we and what have I fallen into?' I would also start the novel off a different way. Honestly, I believe the beginning, middle and end format is the best way to tell a story. There's nothing wrong with approaching it differently, but it has to be handled the right way.

Check out the book and see where it's headed!