It's happening all over again...

"STOP!! JUST STOP!"

I yelled to the figure.

These images, these thoughts...

They continued to beat my fathers alive

They never seem to leave my brain

"LET THEM GO!"

The sound of the chains rattling echoed throughout the room as I pulled and pulled, trying to get free

It's like they're encarved into my memory

"NO!!! STOP STOP STOP!!!"

All that I could see was blood coming from their chests and mouths

Like... they're a part of me

Nobody should watch the blood pour from their parents bodies, see the pain in their eyes, hear the screams. I have three times now

Maybe I should leave too...

"You're next, slut."

The figure rips off his mask and puts the machete under my chin so our eyes meet.

"Why? I thought you loved me."

"It's called acting, dumbass."

With that, Avi stabs me in the heart, causing me to immediately-

"CASSY WAKE UP PLEASE!"

I shoot up in a cold sweat to see Scott giving me a concerned look.

"What happened honey? You were screaning 'no, let them go, stop' over and over. Then you screamed bloody murder. What happened baby girl?"

"Night terror."

"Wanna sleep with me tonight?"

I nod and Scott leads me to his room. The blonde throws his tshirt back on, placing him in that and sweatpants. He climbs under the duvet and pulls me with him.

"What was your night terror about, love?"

My dad asks, stroking my hair as he holds me close. I recite it all to him and he holds me closer, if possible.

"It's alright. Avi would never do such a thing. He loves you so much and you know it.

I nod slowly and feel something wet on my cheek. I look up to see Scott crying.

"Scott? What's wrong?"

"I hate seeing you like this. What happened in that year span? That you were in the UK?"

"I was bullied and it went as far as pushing me off a bridge. Luckily it wasn't a big drop so I only broke my ankle from hitting the edge of the bridge. I started cutting and hide it to this day. I've only told you this."

Scott starts bawling and my own tears fall lightky down my face.

"Scott..."

He sobs into my hair and I wipe the tears off his cheeks.

"Baby girl, you need to tell the band. Or at least Mitch. I can't stand to see you do this. When was the last time you cut?"

Fuck, should I tell him? Guess I have no choice...

"About two weeks ago.."

"WHAT!?"

"Scott quiet down please you'll wake up Mitch!"

"Sorry. Why?"

"I was really upset about Gabi going to Lithuania, I feel like it's my fault. Like she wants nothing to do with me. Plus Jade was calling me names when me you Avi and Kevin went out for lunch, which was why I walked out like I did."

"Candy, it's not your fault Gabi is moving. I saw how upset you two were. Plus if you had told me this we could've left."

"I didn't want to ruin it for you."

"Cas?"

"Yeah Scott?"

"Promise me this: you will try your hardest not to cut."

"I promise to TRY my best, not to exactly do it."

"That's all I ask baby girl. I love you, my little princess."

"Love you too, Blondie."

"Get some sleep."

Scott kisses ny forehead lightly before I drift off into a light sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waking up to the smell if bread coming from the kitchen, I manage to wiggle out of Scott's arms and head down to see Mitch making French Toast.

"Morning Cassy."

"Morning."

"You weren't in your room. Where were you?"

"I had a night terror so Scott let me sleep with him once he made sure I was alright."

"Oh okay. What was it about?"

Mitch turns off the stove and looks at me, signaling I have his full attention. I once again retell the dream and he looks at me wide eyed.

"Well damn. That's detailed. You could've woken me up, love."

"I know, but it was easier to sleep with Scott."

"If you're sure. Can you pull out the milk and syrup please?"

I nod and take out the requested items. Once I look up I jump back from Scott appearing at the tiny island counter in the kitchen.

"Ní ģa ag fuck naofa Scott scanradh omr mar sin!" (Holy fuck Scott don't scare me like that!)

"What?"

Mitch asks as he sets the platter of food and three cups on the bar counter where I am.

"It means 'Holy fuck Scott don't scare me like that!' in Irish."

"Oh wow. Well food's done."

I race upstairs to get dressed (media box) and do my makeup before heading back down.

"Where are you going?"

Scott asks, raising a nonexistant eyebrow.

"Shopping with Gabi and Jordyn. Be back later."

I go to walk off but Scott grabs my arm where my cuts are, making me wince in pain.

"We need to tell him."

I nod before walking back into the kitchen.

"I though you were leaving?"

Mitch says, chewing and raising an existant eyebrow.

"Cassy told me something last night that she needs to tell you too."

"Are you gay?"

"First off, pan, secondly, I would've told you both at the same time. What I really need to tell you is...."

I take a deep breath, and go to speak, but I can't bring myself to do it.

"I..  I can't do this Scott. It's too fucking hard."

"Want me to tell him?"

I nod as I cover my mouth to block any sobs that could come out, thankful for waterproof mascara.

"Cassy! We gotta go!"

I hear Gabi yell from outside. I wave bye to my dads and jog out to the van where I climb in the backseat to see Logan and Maddie.

"All five of us?"

"We're going to do lasertag then shopping. Sound good?" I nod and my phine vibrates with a text from Scott.

💙Noodle: I'll tell him while you're gone, we'll talk when we all get back, Mitch and I are going somewhere

💚M!tchB!tchGrass!💚: Ok. Thank you for helping me Scott, it means a lot

💙Noodle: You're my daughter, of course I would help you. Love you baby girl, play safe

💚M!tchB!tchGrass!💚: Love you too Noodle

I lock my phone before noticing Logan entirtwined my fingers with his. I smile up at him and he smiles back before giving me a quick peck and we hop out at the mall.

"Lasertag, here we are!"

We pay for a game of five before a bass voice butts in.

"Make it ten." I turn around to see the band smirking and Scott and Mitch with semi nervous looks when looking at me. Once we all have our gear on, we head to the largest game room there.

"Ready?"

"Set?"

"WAIT! What about teams?" Jordyn calls. Yeah, that's probably be smart...

"Girls versus boys?"

"Nope. Scott, Avi, Cassy, Gabi and Jordyn versus Kirstie, Mitch, Kevin, Maddie and Logan."

"Okay."

"3... 2... 1... GO!"

And like that we were off. Immediately I hear three beeps and see Scott, Gabi and Logan got out. Always the tall ones...

"Jordyn, get Mitch. Avi, Kevin. I'll get Maddie, and then whoever finishes first goes for Kirstie. Got it?"

The rest of my team nods and we all set up. I hear two beeps and hear Avi and Kevin yelling at each other. Fuck, two of us left.. If you couldn't tell I get very focused on games. I focus on stuff too much.

I jump over a fenced wall and see Mitch and Kirstie. I hear two beeps go off and see Jordyn and Kirstie's vest flashing.

"Oh come on!"

"Yes! My teams wins!" I hear my dad yell.

"No. Cassy's still out here."

"Fuck."

I walk around and go to sneak up behind Mitch until I hear a creaking sound. I look up and see a colored spotlight swaying.

"Mitch look out!" The light drops and I leap at my dad, pushing us out of the way just in time.

"Shit Cassy, thanks." I help him up and shoot my vest, making it beep and flash.

"Now you win." I take the vest off and my three friends, boyfriend and I walk to a small designer store.

"Why are we here?" I ask, raising my pierced eyebrow.

"Your next music video cover is Cracked with us. We're each getting a high low dress, obviously not Logan, except you. You're getting a dress we sent them a picture of and they made it. We just need to find it."

A lady walks up to me and smiles.

"Are you Cassaddee Grassi-Hoying?"

I nod and she leads me to the counter where she pulls out a black bag on a hanger.

"Go try this on, make sure it fits."

I question it but oblige and gawk when I reveal the dress from it's cover.

"Is this the dress from Kelsea Ballerini's 'Peter Pan' music video?"

"A handmade one of our own. Look alike of the red one."

I nod and try it on in the changing rooms, a perfect fit.

"Meh, the blue would be more your color. Well actually we need both, a high low dress, and an all black outfit for you. You have to film the music video for Broken."

"Oh yeah, that's right."

The lady hands me another bag and I run to the dressing rooms once more.

"I love both. We need to find the high low and all black outfit."

Maddie and I scout the store while the rest went to look at other stores for their dresses.

"Maddie I can't find any I like."

"I found one that fits."

"Kay. I'll find one in my closet or ask Kirstie if I can borrow one."

Maddie nods and we check out before heading to find the others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey Ca- woah."

I turn around and see Mitch staring at my bed wide eyed.

"What the fuck happened to your bed? It looks like the clothes monster puked on it."

"I need to find a high low dress for a music video shoot."

"What color?"

"Any really. But I want a more darker color."

Mitch walks over to the pile and after digging through, he pulls out a nice black and red high low dress.

"Use this. I'll get Todrick to let you use the ruby red slippers from the Wizard of Ahhhs. We can get your hair dyed tomorrow if you like."

"That'd be amazing, thanks Mitch."

"No prob babes. Hey, I know this is weird, but can I braid your hair?"

"Uhh, sure. I guess if you wanna."

Mitch squeals before grabbing my hair brush, some hair ties, and once I put all the other dresses back, he flops on the bed and pulls me in front of him. He brushes my hair out before starting to braid one section of my hair.

"Scott told me once we came back from Lasertag."

"I asked him to."

"Babes, why would you do that? Is it what happened when you came home and I asked you how it went, but you ignored ne and went to your roon crying?

"Damn, you're good. That and people have been making edits of me dead. Saying stuff like 'she's better this way' or 'she's prettier like this.' It's been getting to me a lot."

"Oh baby, never do that. Always tell us, or at least show us. We'll help in any way we can."

"You shouldn't get involved."

My phone goes off with a ding and I read the message.

Unknown number: Hey you emo slut, Scott and Mitch only adopted you because they wanted a fatass like you to bring them more popularity

Me: Shut up Jade, I know you're lying. They wouldn't have calmed my every fear if they thought those things

Unknown number: Fuck off bitch. We all know you weigh like 500 pounds. Your little boyfriend pities you. You're the reason Gabi is moving to Lithuania

Me: First off, how the fuck did you know about Gabi?

Unknown number: I have my ways

Me: Secondly, Gabi MIGHT be moving to Lithuania. Third, Logan does not pity me. If he did he wouldn't be dating me because I would dump him for that

Unknown number: You're a slut. A good for nothing whore. Maninfestation. Nobody gives a shit about you. Go die. It's easier on everyone.

I didn't realize Mitch left, or that he was done with my hair. I run into my bathroom, looking for them.

Where, where, where... There.

I reach out and grab the bottle of bleach, small throwing dagger, and the small rope.

Yes, love... Be free

I take the throwing dagger and slice my arms and legs, each one marked for every name I've been called. Which is at least fifty.

Two left...

"Cassy? You in there?"

Fuck, I need to hurry this up.

"Cas, I saw your messages with Jade. Are you upset, babe?"

I hear Mitch call from outside my bathroom door. Blood runs down my forearms and thighs but I could give a shit less.

Do it, you cunt

I grab the bottle of bleach and open it.
"Cassy!? Do I smell bleach from in there!!?"

Fuck. I'm busted.

"Cassy open up!!"

Mitch bangs on the door but nonetheless I drink about a fourth of the bottle. It burns my mouth and esophagus, my stomach pumping hard.

"CASSADDEE PASSION GRASSI-HOYING PLEASE DON'T DO WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING!!"

I set up the rope and step onto the edge of the tub, sticking my head into the loop.

Do it. Nobody fucking cares.

Just as Mitch and Scott bound through the door, I step off the edge of the tub and everything goes black.

LOGAN

"Oh my fuck yes!!"

My phone goes off and I see it's Cassy.

"Hey Candy."

"Logan, it's Mitch.

"Where's Cassy?"

"She-she.. She t-t-"

"She what, Mitch?"

"She tried to kill herself. She cut her arns and legs, drank bleach, and attempted to hang herself from her shower rod. They have her in the ICU right now."

I immediately hang up and run through the door.

"Logan, where the fuck are you going!!?"

"To the hospital, Gabi! Cassaddee tried to kill herself!"

My best friend and I jump into her truck and Gabi drives there, silent tears flowing down her face every once in a while. Meanwhile me, I'm a fucking wreck.

"Logan!"

I look in the parking lot to see Mitch bawling his eyes out, Scott holding him close. I don't even wait for Gabi, I just full blown book it to my girlfriend's dads.

"Logan..."

Mitch runs to me and engulfs me in a hug. Sobs rack throughout my body as the two hold me close, crying.

Cassy... why?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm a shitty person for ending the chapter like that. Sorry beauties.

Soooo I'm still sick, which sucks ass. I've been like this for almost two weeks now. Fuck my life.

Also, I'm really surprised I got this all together. I've had a lot of trouble coming up with chapter ideas, or story ideas really.

That's all for now. I love you all somaj

Also Logan, PM me on Pinterest when you can or at least read my last two messages pleeease. Thank you :3

Remember...

Keep your heads high...

And rainbow ties!!

~Geeky💟💜❤🌈