It was late, at a very boring time around nine. I asked my dad if he wanted the Christmas tree from Cadence and her mom. Dad was busy watching the old Western show, Gunsmoke. Once I asked, he looked at me with a thinkable thought, which I'm hoping he says yes. Taking another minute as the clock was ticking in my head, he decided on his final answer. I got a nod for my response. I take my phone out and send an ok to Cadence on the Christmas tree.

Checking out my posts on my Instagram, I saw Cadence and her group of friends before graduation. It was in a position where she had taken a selfie with them. It reminded me of when it was after the Football game on a Friday night. The only part I took in was that I observed how the football players were tackling each other. Cadence cheered for her friend, Taylor Boseman, who was the quarterback. He was the most attractive guy like the others on the team. She never dated him, but she kept telling me how much she had a huge crush on him. I only could react in my way by agreeing. Not that I was trying to ignore her, only that deep down, she goes boy crazy. Not going to lie, but I sometimes do the same. Before I started to date Chandler, I told my guy friend, Lewis Murray, that I liked him more than a friend in middle school around the time when we had our second-period lunch.

Flashback:

I got out of class from upstairs, I had Math II with Miss Kensley. She was a very sweet nice teacher who is like a fairy godmother. I only say that, because she was there for me in school through the good and bad as my father does that for me too at home. I even to Lewis that he might like her company next semester.

When I headed into the cafeteria, I got a cheeseburger and some baked beans. For the extra sides, I picked the fresh-cut, red apples. Lewis caught my eye when I saw him sitting next to one of our friends. I sit beside him, joining the conversation. They were speaking on the games that came out back in 2014. One of our friends, Chris, is a huge fan of the game called "Super Smash Bros."

Chris waves around his PB&J in his hand as a movement to explain what he's saying. " I swear, those games never get old. Even my little brother can't stop playing it."

Elijah nudges his arm. "And the more times he's beaten you at Mario Kart, you should've learned it from him. "

I drank my chocolate milk, feeling the rush of adrenaline in my head and in my veins. I needed to tell Lewis.

"Lewis, I have something I wanna tell you.

He looks at me, waiting for me to continue.

"Back at middle school, when we were in 6th grade, I sort of had a....." My fingers tapped so rapidly on the table. "Crush on you."

The boys stopped, they turned their attention to me as I revealed my secret. Chris begins to speak.

"Ooh, Erin's got a boyfriend." He teased.

Lewis gives him the death stare.

He immediately stopped and went back to looking down at his food. Lewis gazed back at me, wanting to think of the right words to describe my confession.

There's no way he can forget how shocked he might be deep down. My stomach was in knots, I felt like puking.

"I understand you like me," he continues. "But, I already have someone that I'm dating."

Turned out, it was one of my other friends, Renee.

Renee and I talked to each other ever since the beginning of middle school. She had a bob cut with bangs when she was thirteen. I remembered she told me how much the boys in her class loved her hair, because, of the strawberry highlights blended with her blonde hair. Time had its way of skipping when Renee's hair got longer and wavy.

I had to see it coming, just by the hangout we would chill out at. "My" group and I hung out where the big tree was, next to the swings.

I sat between Renee and Lewis against the tree, like I was a monkey in the middle. It only took me a few glances to see that both of them gave each other the flirtatious eye. It broke my heart though because back then, I never told Lewis I liked him. I was always scared to admit my feelings.

Flashback Ends..

But enough of the past life, I have a boyfriend that I admit is very loyal.... But mysterious. So, I took Cadence's advice and went to Snapchat that I associate with him on and began to call him.

The phone was ringing, but my ears were perked.

Suddenly, he answered the phone.

"Hey." He said with a tired voice.

"Hi. What are you doing?"

He yawned from getting up. "Got up from working all day. "

Maybe he meant fishing with his family....right?

I pretended to not be worried for the world. "How's your sister doing?"

"She's ok."

'When do I get to see her?"

It was when he paused for three seconds. "She's with Mom right now in the kitchen, I don't feel like going downstairs since they're fixing dinner."

My finger twirls in my hair, playing with it as my strands swirl. I might think about trimming my dead ends off my hair. I went back to studying Chandler's facial features, seeing through his persona for anything deceiving. "In case you didn't know, my birthday is next month. I was hoping you could come over for my party."

"I don't know if I'll have time for any of it," he clears his throat and adjusts his phone. "My uncle and my other family members might be busy next month."

That broke my heart in pieces. God, bless me with a sensitive heart to cry a river every single moment of feeling sorrow.

"Ok...is there something you have---"

"Sorry, gotta go..love you." He hangs up.

Chandler is really keeping me in the shadows. Somehow, it leads to deception. There are signals that are shining upon the brightest colors of all. It's like the colors from a stoplight. The yellow stands for being cautious about what kind of guy he is, green is to go on seeing the moments we share together that made me happy.... Red....

...is feeling insecure about how I think when we live hours away from each other. I never know what Chandler is doing during his free time. No matter how many times I say that he's a good person, I never know what he's doing.

Hey y'all!!! I'm going to introduce the aesthetics of the characters that I presented in this story....