B~th

Two green eyes stopped me right at the entrance.

They followed my every moment moving as slowly as I was moving back. I could immediately tell who the man in white collar was. Their resemblance was undeniable, more of obvious. They both shared the same features; full lips, curly hair, a slightly muscular frame and those eyes that made my heart race only that the figure in a white shirt was probably two decades older. I couldn't have thought of what to say. Devon had clearly stated to me that his father was a crazy man, although my instincts thought they weren't. The man in front of me only looked the hell of rich and territorial as he scrolled through his device crossing his legs on a table next to a glass of wine.

Yet, one too many times I was wrong.

He was the beast. He was the bastard that caused bruises on his son. It was then I moved back out of the living room into yet another empty livingroom. Unconsciously, I heaved a sigh of relief. Devon pushed the kitchen's swing door open with a can in his hand.

"Fancy meeting my dad, ahhn?"

I rolled my eyes and settled in one of the large couches. "He doesn't look like a fighter though."

"Beast." He corrected settling on the edge of the couch.

I turned away from him to look out at his basketball court. Jayo Anoá. Halo and Jayo were tossing the ball around mindedlessly insulting a couple of people. They were serious about it though, shooting a hoop each time the they managed to mar a person's image. Fenty's then Royce's then Blue's. Everyone was unto Blue with the worst words; "gay" and "disturbed" even when we all knew that nothing was nobody's fault. It was just fate at work. Devon was gone the moment I turned back once returning to his best friends. The situation scared me. Jayo was specifically a demon when it came to girls. He could and single-handedly break girls, especially girls like me. Every now and then I had fallen too hard, so hard I broke my heart.

Talking of us. Devon and I were threading on the same path. Everyday it was cutting through my wounds. I was mindlessly convincing myself not to put up with yet another heartbreak.

No, Beth.

I stood up and walked to the other window pushing the white blinds open. Everywhere out there smelt wet and grassy. The vast garden was ripe with flowers and the green leaves still dripped the last night's rain. I reached out to pluck a rose from the basket of dirt and tucked it behind my ear. It reminded of the other night. It reminded me of our smiles as the rain caused our clothes and hair to cling to our bodies, how his alcoholic breath whispered incoherent words in my ears, how I laughed unnecessarily making sure it was heard yards away even under the thundering rain and his hands; those tingly fingers. I smiled and removed the rose before throwing it back out.

The Devon's Fantasy, I thought, it worked.

I hadn't realised how long I leaned out to the open reminiscing the other night until his muscular body wrapped mine from behind. My muscles twitched the moment I realised whom it was. He still used the same cologne and whispered the same words.

"I missed 'you'"

Careful not to make any noise I shrugged his body off mine before swiftly turning around to face him. He was smirking and it freaked the hell out of me. I pushed him away to end the promiximity between us.

"Are you crazy!" I managed to query in a hushed tone as he slightly staggered backwards hoping that maybe he would quit but he was Jayo and for him nothing felt better than putting both hands in his pockets and watching you until you wanted to scream and run mad. I looked out towards the court to see that both Halo and Devon were gone.

"It's okay. They went to get cigarettes, again." We both knew what "again" meant but he shouldn't have made such a snide remark. Devon was meant to be his best friend.

"That doesn't give you the right to sneak up on me like that!"

"No need to whisper-" he nodded towards the entrance to the other livingroom "-that man doesn't give a fuck you know."

I glared fustratedly at him and turned around towards the kitchen. I didn't and shouldn't want to play games with Jay. He could drive a human crazy. It was the only thing he was good at. All he knew was to tame your mind and bend it to conform to his wishes.

"The idiot you are working your ass on would move on as soon as he finds someone else's befitting girlfriend."

I stopped in my tracks trying to process his words but then I frowned quizzically before pushing the swing doors into the kitchen. I slid the backdoor open, shut it back and started to walked hastily across the lawn towards the gate. It didn't take long for my leg to pick up its pace running past the security out into the open. I looked back to see if he actually ran after me. He didn't instead he stood against the doorframe eyeing me with those icy blue eyes.

Troublemaker.

×_×

We could never survive all that on our own. I closed the door behind as quietly as I could even when it was obvious they both saw me. Charlie leaned on her pillow uncomfortably scrolling through her phone while Ryan watched the show we all knew she hated. We couldn't and denied to accept that we couldn't go on that way. Ryan had bleached her hair back to the dirty blonde it was and Charlie just stopped being herself. Somehow we lost our effect on people. It faded and then died. Why? Because everybody knew that Charlie slept with Sid and that Sid left town immediately after their big fight. They both felt stupid yet they blamed it on one another. I wish they realised how much more that had affected my sanity.

I knelt down at the edge of my bed and crawled towards my pillow before perching my head on the three-window wide windowsill. The sun was still coming out after the heavy rainfalls and it did much to reflect the shadow of every possible thing in our room on another. It was meant to be a good feeling. We were meant to be hitting pillows at one another, laughing and at the same time trying to keep our our hair out of our faces. We were meant to be happy.

I wasn't meant to be accustomed to walking alone through the crowd of students under the shield of my earplugs and the grey hoodie that now stayed permanently in my locker. Sometimes I wondered if they ever gossiped as I passed by but yet I couldn't still bring myself to hearing of it. I preferred not to face the reality instead, the moment I walked into school, I increased the volume to infinity. Charlie and Ryan on the other hand were ready for the world even if it meant them breaking inside every. single. day.

Sometimes Devon came to my rescue jumping behind me unexpectedly with his arm coming to wrap around my neck. And as if planned his hood jumped with him resting back on his curls as soon his calming grin appeared on his face. I always smiled and inched closer to his warmth hoping that maybe I would dissappear into his side. I wanted everyone to know that we were having something because I still wanted to look happy and 'not alone.'

I needed him at that period. I really did.