D~v~n

I watched as my pale blood flowed down the drain, it was way better than looking at my bruised body in the mirror that was agonisingly framed to the wall in front of me. My whole body ached - so much that Halo had driven me home in his car, my bike was still somewhere logged in the school's parking lot. I tried to watch myself smile in the mirror, it came out as plastic - a fake smile. It made my face ache and made my head throb.

I closed the tap that ran on my bleeding finger and closed my eyes real tight wondering if it really helped me to scare my fear away - it was what Halo told me the first time I actually fought back at my dad. It was as though it was a suicide mission but it wasn't - it felt good. I actually, for the first time, punched his skull instead of the wall and the look on his face was undeniably priceless but then he got really angry and pushed me against the bar causing everything to come tumbling around me. I thought I was over, I thought my life was crashing around me, I thought I was finally going to kiss the world goodbye, I thought maybe he would bury my body in the back and then I would finally vanish.

Too bad it all ended up as a fucking scar on the side of my forehead, that seemed to hurt more than seeing Jayo when he caught me fucking his girlfriend. I let him take all the vengeance he could on my body but it just seemed to hurt more when he started to cry. My throat ached to scream and my heart ached for happiness - other than the assurance of enough Marlboro in my drawers.

But my father apologised - once in a while.

I sighed and ripped my blood stained school uniform shirt and vest off my body. The black tie came off with it and they all ended up in the bin filled with cigarette butts and letters from my mom. I sighed at the cramped full bin before heading out to my room. I slumped on the edge of my ruffled bed, staring blankly at the white ceramic ceiling carefully molded into some sort of art. My thoughts started to erupt .....

Devon Crew was a shitty piece of crumpled rubbish, Halo was forever going to be his once long lost mate, Jayo was the guy whose trust was broken, Resha was the fucked up slut who decided to fuck her boyfriend's best friend, John Crew was a psychopath whose joy laid in manhandling his son, Halsey 'whatever her new last name is' was a 'mom' who suddenly got tired of her husband's dick and...Bethany was the strawberry blonde he wouldn't stop thinking of.

I smiled at the last person I thought of, whose graffiti seemed to calm the chaos in my head yet she confused me. Beth had such poise with her emotions, she was quite unreadable - sometimes she spoke with so much voidness I became a little irritated and to be honest I was scared of her. She looked exactly the same as Jayo had told me - dangerously sweet with a black chocker fixed to her neck. I turned my head slightly to look at the clock that stood on my lamp.

3:00 am.

I had been smoking for hours, no wonder my ribs seemed to be congested. I licked my lips recalling the taste of one of the girls at the pub on my lips, she had tasted like every other girl - raw yet tasteless. My phone had been beeping repeatedly, sometimes it rang yet I ignored just staring at the ceiling and rubbing my throbbing forehead and when I thought I was done aimlessly thinking, I sprang off my bed into the the shower.
Time for another damned twenty four hours.

The streets were still quite empty even at five in the morning and the only sound I could possibly hear was Troye Sivan sinking shit in my head through my earplugs, I so seemed to love the guy's lyrics so much. My throat itched as I downed the last gulp of hennessy in the bottle, the adults that passed stared weirdly at me as I leaned on the back of my Audi holding a bottle of hennessy in my fist - in my school uniform. I was forced to laugh at how innocent they thought we were, only if they knew they had a lot to worry about. I bit the insides of my cheek feeling slightly euphoric, ecstatic enough to look Jayo in the eyes whenever I saw him.

I hopped in my car and started to drive aimlessly, what else could I have done when the neighbourhood I parked in seemed like they wanted to call the cops on me. I landed in front of the two tall grey building and right in between them was the tiny space I found when I was aimlessly looking for a place that was empty and that space led to an entire world that seemed to suck a quartet of all the chaos in my head. I slid in between the space and lo and behold, she was there - in her uniform too. Her hands were filled with colours and so was the giant wall in front of both of us.

Girls vaping in ripped jeans, boys doing drugs, the world at a distance, orange and pink skies, a thunderstorm at the edge waiting to let loose, bags of weed and a girl all by herself under the waiting thunderstorm.

The poisoned suburbia. The words, in her painting, spread across the skies in heavy black smoke. True aesthetic disorder, I thought.

I jumped down wondering how induced she must have been not noticing my presence. She looked back startled at the noise I made, I smiled - hurting my lips again. She smiled back pulling the band off her hair, it came falling down to her back.
Strawberry blonde became my favourite colour as the early morning sun reflected on her hair. And when she looked back I averted my gaze to the vandalised wall in front of us but even if I had tried so hard I would've still gotten caught. She didn't blush - she bit her lower lip.
In the way I seemed to like.

"This is ....sick" I breathed diversifying our earlier mute conversation. She looked back at the wall and smiled,

"Really, I think it's trash"

"Trash?"

"Pure trash," she dragged returning her cans to the dumpster. I watched her as she washed her hands with a bottle of water - I watched purely with lust imagining myself pressed to her behind at that moment. It made my aching go away for a while, lust seemed to be the boss marijuana at that moment.

"So, sausage, why are you here?"

I didn't plan to say something but I just had to be a little too tipsy. "so maybe you could turn around again ahhn." I raised a brow as she rolled her eyes at me.

"How about you grab a can.." she threw a spray can at me "...and paint yourself a brain."

I grinned - and hurt my lip again as I caught the can in my hands. She turned back to her black knapsack whilst I fiddled with the can in my hands, I couldn't have seemed to keep my mouth shut around her and since I could never tell if it irritated her or not, I never stopped looking for a conversation with her,

"Beth" I called juggling the can.

"Ahhn"

"You don't actually smoke and yet carry cigars around?"

She turned back at me and smiled, "I'm pretty much a sucker for my health."

I smiled at the way she replied truthfully. "And you carry it around?"

"Oh yeah that." she gave a short laugh "I'm simply pulling my own legs."

"Wow--" I exclaimed bending down "--that's weird."

"Says the guy who calls himself sausage."

"I'm pretty sure you are a stan of my art." I looked to see her expression. She had simply smiled and zipped her bag,

"Hmnn. I see you can't counterpart"

She folds her arms. "I would but not until I ask my question."

I raised a questioning brow at her already leaning figure. "I don't remember us playing questions."

She just looked blankly at me before proceeding. "What about your parent?"