Charlie's P.O.V.

So that was it then.

I officially broke up, I think.

I hope we aren't going to lose contact, that won't happen.

The things I have to do now, is finding a job, and trying to talk to Luke still this week.

I was planning to do this since yesterday, when we had the fight. When he went upstairs to sleep, I quickly packed my bags, everything was in the laundry room, it wasn't much, though.

Right now, I'm dragging the trolley behind me, making my way back to Joy.

I wonder what her reaction is going to be.

Haven't saw her in a while, maybe a week or two.

We have texted back and forth, about absolutely nothing.

I missed her, I really did.

...

I press the button, so she'll receive a call.

After a few moments, she picks up.

"Hello, Joy Peeters speaking?"

"Hey Joy." I smile, eventhough she can't see me.

"Charlie! Oh my god, hang on, I'll let you in." She answers, hanging up and opening the entrance for me.

I decide to take the elevator for once, hoping it will work properly this time.

When I step in, I hear the typical elevator music softly playing.

It's an old thing, not the red with gold fancy ones from movies.

This one's rusty and steel, with a dark red carpet.

When it has reached the second floor, I can't wait to get out.

I'm kind off claustrophobic, one of the reasons I don't like to be in elevators.

I slowly walk over to 2F, knocking as soon as I've came to the door.

Within seconds, that brown haired weirdo I call my best friend opens the door, immediately embracing me in a big hug.

Stepping into the room, I immediately feel at home again.

I haven't been here in a month at least.

"So what's up girl? Why do you have your suitcase with you?" Joy begins.

"I, uh, we b-broke up just fi-five minutes ago." I stutter, this sometimes happens when I get upset.

"What? Oh my effing god, I'm so going to kick his ass for doing thi-"

"No," I interupt her, "I did it. We broke up as friends, I think. Was it a bad thing to do? I still love him, what if he never wants to talk to me?" I ramble on, all the questions that I made up in my mind now flowing out of my mouth without a pause.

"I'm sure he still loves you too, Charlie. Don't worry, you two will work out."

How can she say that so confidently?

I let out a deep sigh, I wish I was more like her.

Always dressed to perfection, tanned skin, hair always always always perfectly straightened or curled..

And then there's me, the tomboy who had washed out blue hair and dark brown roots.

I probably look like a hobo.

And fat as a whale.

"Joy, I need to find a job. I've been living with you for a year now, without paying a single thing in this apartment."

"Oh, no. It's okay." She states. She doesn't have a job either, she just has rich parents who give her everything she needs or wants.

"It's not. Do you know where I can sollicitate?" I ask, really hoping she knows a place.

"Yeah, actually. I was walking through the town two days ago, you know where the music store is where we always take a look?"

I quickly nod.

"Well, they need an assistent-seller, you don't need experience, you only need to know something about instruments."

This is my chance. For once in my life, I'm having luck, and I'm sure as hell grabbing it with both hands.

"I'm going to that shop, I'm sure they'll take me." I say, taking my phone out of my pocket to plug in my earphones.

"Okay, good luck, Charlie!" Joy claims happily, waving me goodbye.

...(long time skip sorry 4 confusing u)

I've got the job, hell yes.

I'm working here for four days now, loving the fact that I can do something I love.

I have short shifts this week, working from 12 o'clock till 5 PM.

And today, we, as in the boys, Joy and me, are going out for dinner again.

It's been a long time since we've done that, the last time was when I first met the boys.

Awkward part is: Luke is coming to pick me up.

We started texting yesterday, but I think it'll be weird seeing him in person.

Lets just see how that works out.

It's 4:30 now, and Luke said he was going to be here around this time.

Since there are almost no customers, I've seated myself behind the most gorgeous black winged piano I've ever seen in my life.

It has always been my dream to play one, I have a keyboard at my house, or Joy's. But this is different.

It makes me feel rich, fancy also.

Just when I want to press the first key, I feel the stool slightly dipping in, informing me that someone is sitting next to me.

"Sure one hell of a piano." A deep, familiar voice says.

"A hello to you too." I softly smile, feelig a tad weird meeting Luke since... Yeah.

"Are we going to play this beauty or not?" He asks, not feeling weird at all, like nothing happened, which is good.

"Okay, what song?" I bluntly ask.

"Uhm, what about.." He takes his time to think, scratching his cheek while thinking.

"Stay? From Rihanna?"

I hasitantly nod, asuming he wants to sing also.

He immediately begins to play, allowing me to think about the lyrics, and I begin to play too.

Charlie:

"All along it was a fever

A cold sweat hot headed believer

I threw my hand in the air

Saying 'show me something'

He said

'if you dare come a little closer'"

Together:

"Round and around and around

and around we go

Now tell me now tell me now

tell me now you know"

Charlie:

"Not really sure how to feel about it

Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like

I can't live without you

It takes me all the way

I want you to stay"

Luke:

"It's not much of a life you're living

It's not much you take

It's giving"

Together:

"Round and around and around

and around we go

Now tell me now tell me now

tell me now you know"

Luke:

"Not really sure how to feel about it

Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like

I can't live without you

It takes me all the way"

Together:

"I want you to stay

I want you to stay."

When I look to my right, I see Luke with his hands still on the keys, his head staring down, maybe his eyes closed.

He chose this song on purpose, the meaning behind it is just what we've been through a couple of days ago.

Just then, I hear a random aplause.

"Very good, very good!" The man exclaims.

"Oh, hello mister Smiths." Luke says.

"You two know eachother?" I ask.

"Yes, indeed. Mister Hemmings and his band filled in a form for an audition at the X-Factor, I was there and I thought I could chat with the four of them." Mister Smith explains, as if it's clear what he just said.

My mouth can only form an "O", why didn't I knew about this?

"You should come to the auditions too, mylady. You are very well talented, I work backstage before you need to perform. You know what I mean?"

I nod at his question, debating myself whether I should or not.

"I'll think about it, thank you." I politely answer, blushing a bit.

My cheeks always turn red when someone unfamiliar talks to me.

"Great, I hope I'll see you there!" He says, and just walks out of the small shop.

"Eek!" I shriek, and throw my arms around Luke's neck to hug him spontaneously.

Unsure of what just happened, Luke slowly hugs back, his head dipped in the crook of my neck.

We stay for this for God knows how long, when we are interupted by my boss.

"Charlotte, the store is about to close, can you please go?" Miss Fran asks me, she's a woman in her mid fifty's, she's very nice.

I let Luke go, thinking about what I just did.

Stupid me.

...

The car ride to our usual restaurant is awkward.

We both remain silence, Luke's eyes straight on the road and mine focused on my hands.

I keep on fiddling with my fingers, unsure if I should say something or not.

I probably shouldn't, there's no way we can knot a conversation together untill we're there.

It's a five minute drive, maybe less, but I really don't know what I should tell him.

Luckily, we have the radio.

It softly plays, I don't recognize the song but it's really poppy.

I tap my fingers on my thigh on the beat of the music, closing my eyes for a while.

The sun is still shining bright in my eyes, I feel the pleasant warmth on my cheeks.

I think I drifted away for a minute or so, because when I open my eyes again, I see we have just arrived at the restaurant.

It's a small, cosy restaurant, with very nice people working there.

I quickly get out of the car and make my way to the rest.

They all greet me with a short hug, going back to their previous conversations shortly after.

When Luke joins us, we all go inside and take our seats at the booth we once went to occasionaly.

The waitress comes to take our orders, the boys decide to take a bit of everything so we can taste little parts of all meals.

The short blonde writes it down on a notepad, giving us a warming smile and tells us our food will come in about ten minutes.

It's good that I didn't have to chose my own meal, I'm not feeling in the mood for food, the last month.

Joy says I need to consume three meals a day to keep my weight, which is currently 51 kilograms, way too much for my likings.

Sure, I'm only 5'6" tall but 51 is absolutely not good.

I guess I'm going to eat a tiny bit, keeping focused on my glass of water.

Everyone is talking to eachother, not paying any attention towards me, which is perfectly fine by me.

I like being with people, but sometimes some quality time for myself isn't bad either.

When I think about it, from the end of December untill now, January 19th, I haven't been alone for a single hour.

I always had Luke right behind me.

The mentioning of his name kinda stings in my stomach, but I guess I'll get used to it.

Stop lying to yourself, I love him.

So much.

But I can't.

Can I?

Suddenly, someone nudges my side, which makes me jump a little in my seat.

"Are you feeling okay?" Michael asks me.

He now has black with red in his hair, last time I saw him it was white with a black stripe in the middle.

I'm being serious when I tell you he's going to end up bald before he turns twenty.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired." I admit, I haven't slept properly since I left Luke.

Not that I can't sleep without him, it's just that he sleeps with his window open, and I don't have one in my room, since I live in an apartment.

I trace little patterns on the placemat, realising I haven't drawn in ages.

I grab a little book out of my bag, I always have it with me.

Blocking everone out, I start drawing random lines.

The lines keep on stacking eachother, creating a mess, but it calms me down.

I don't even know what I'm drawing, I always realise when I finish the paper, it's weird.

I also have a messy style, many lines crossing, overlapping eachother.

Once again, I'm being pulled out of my thoughts.

This time, it comes from my other side, where Joy is seated.

"What?" I snap at her in annoyance.

"Charlie, look what, or should I say who you've drawn." She whispers, looking intense at the paper.

I hold the book in front of me and look at it from a distance.

You've got to be kidding me right?

"Is that.." I can't even finish my sentence.

To be sure, I look to the person who is sitting across me, and yes, it is him.

I drew fucking Luke.

Get over him.

"I really need to speak to you when we're home, girl. We have to discuss something and you may already know what the subject is." Joy tells me, still keeping her eye on the drawing.

"It's very good though, one of your bests." She compliments me, making me feel odd.

I've never drew him before, I guess his perfect features are printed into my brain.

Even that stupid lipring is placed perfectly, and I know I love the stupid thing.

...

Joy quickly shuts the door behind her before throwing her shoes on the floor.

She drags me to the couch, pushing me down and sitting on the table in front of me.

She stares me in the eyes for a moment when she finally speaks up.

"Charlie, do you still like Luke?"

Yes.

"No."

"Then why'd you drew him back there?"

"I didn't knew it was him, you know I always draw random things." I defend myself. I really hope she isn't going to ask a lot of questions, but I know she is.

It's Joy for crying out loud.

"True, but you draw what's on your mind. Which means, Luke was on your mind. Now don't lie and just say you still have feelings for the boy. I bet he has feelings for you too, I don't even get where you got the guts to break up with him. Didn't you saw how devastated he was? He had dark circles under his eyes, Charlie. And that's not from going out too late."

I hate to admit that she's right.

"It was the best for both of us. All we did was fighting over nothing."

"Bullshit, Charlie, complete bullshit. Maybe the last time you two didn't agree on everything but that just happens! Open your eyes for once, you two belong to eachother. Clean out your lenses or something because you aren't seeing things the way you should.

Do you or do you not like him?"

"I don't."

But I do, with all my heart.

"You're such a liar!" Joy throws her hands up in the air in frustration.

"I know." I sigh, laying down on the couch, turning around to face the white leather.

I repeat the sentence once again before I close my eyes.

"I know."

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I'm sick and I wrote this for you guys be proud :---)