HAPPY NEW YEAR ~(^-^)~

Luke's P.O.V.

The drive to the hospital is nerve-wrecking. It only took me ten minutes to get here, but it seemes hours.

I've been driving for a good five minutes on the parking lot, absentmindely.

When I finally find a spot, I get in and shut the engine off.

I swing the cardoor open, while taking Charlie's backpack out.

I swing it on my back, and I make my way to the head entrance.

Not sure where to go, I walk to the receptionist where a blonde-haired woman is seated.

"How can I help you?" She sweetly asks, looking up from her computer screen.

She's wearing small glasses on the bridge of her nose, which makes her look very stern.

"Uhm, can you tell me where the room of Charlotte Tompkins is, please?" I try to ask politely. She's been transferred a lot in the past couple of days, so I really need to ask.

It's only ten in the morning, so I'm just on time.

The woman looks back to the bright computerscreen, typing in what seems to be Charlie's name.

She mumbles something I can't understand, and I think that was on purpose.

"Ah, Miss Tompkins is in room 167, that's on the first floor. You just take the elavator and turn to your left. You'll find it easily." She says, and I thank her.

She gives me a warm smile, which makes me feel really nervous now.

I really don't like hospitals, they creep me out in some kind of way.

When I step into the somewhat old elavator, I can feel my heart beating in my throat.

My hands are beginning to shake and it's really hot in here.

I press the grey button with an unclear number one, and the doors close.

I take a deep breath, hoping it will calm me down.

The elavator goes surprisingly fast, within seconds, I'm on floor one, and I step out of the elavator.

Searching for room 167, I hope she has a single room.

And luckily, she has.

I hesitantly walk into the room with the lightblue walls, hearin a soft beeping sound.

There she is, still in her coma, laying motionless on the white bed.

I can see the nurses changed her into the pyjama I brought her, which is a Nirvana tee and some plaid shorts.

I carefully place the backpack on the floor and take a seat next to her bed.

I take a deep breath and grab her small hand in mine before I start:

"Hey there, Charlie. I'm not quite sure if you can hear me, but the doctors told me you do. So here I am, talking to you.

It has been already three days since you're in a coma, and I couldn't feel more miserable.

How could I not see this coming? I thought you were fine. Damn, I really thought. I was happy that I saved you from cutting, but I guess I was wrong after all. I feel like such an ass for not listening enough to you, when you always do. Just like now, listening to me rambling on and on. This is what I've been doing the past three days.

Talking to you.

But don't worry, I do go home to shower and eat. Or, the boys and Joy force me to. If it wasn't for them, I'd be sitting here all day, and all night. Waiting for you to wake up. Maybe you'll wake up tomorrow, maybe next week. But I promise, I really promise, that I'll be right beside you when you do.

Cal and Mikey have been visiting you too, they really care about you. We all do, though. I cannot wait to see you beat Michael at Fifa on his Ps4. You know how he hates getting defeated by a girl."

I laugh at Michael's reaction last time, before I continue:

"Ashton and Joy also came a lot lately. Ashton always tells you jokes and idiotic stories, but I know you love them. He's been down about this whole situation.

I guess you really have an impact on us.

Joy really misses you. She even insist on washing your hair and doing your make-up. I swear, I tried to stop her, but she said girls always need to look breathtaking, and this is not an excuse not to. She's one weird girl.

But you really don't need all that make-up to look beautiful to me. You really don't.

Look at you, even laying in a hospitalbed, looking gorgeous and you don't even try. How do you do that?

You do some really weird things to me, Charlie. I've never felt anything near this for anyone before. You make me smile, even when I don't want to.

The doctors said you're a very strong young lady, but they're keeping you in an artificial coma because you lost too much blood.

Once agian I saved you, yes, but I could prevent it if I just was there for you. If I was, you'd probably be laying in bed now, your head on my chest, sleeping peacefully with a messy bun on top of your head.

Those are the little things that make you special.

You can really pull of the most weird items in your closet.

Like that one hippie shirt you wore a while ago.

You know, when I was packing your bag three days ago, I bumped into your diary. Please don't hate me for this, but I've read a few pages.

I really didn't knew there were so many problems for you to deal with.

Fuck, I need to listen more.

Just please, please wake up soon, baby. I miss you like crazy. I'm a mess without you.

It sometimes feels like I'm talking to myself or these hideous walls, but somewhere, I feel like you can hear this, I just know it.

Oh, I also told the girls, who told you to kill yourself, that they're the reason that you're in the hospital right now and that I'm miserable because of them. I need them to have mercy.

It may sound rude, but it isn't.

What if you didn't called me up?

Or what if I wasn't on time?

I'd litteraly killed myself if I wasn't.

I can't live without you anymore, as you can probably hear by my pleading.

God, I love you so fucking much, Charlie.

I love you.

Oh, and Merry Christmas."

Charlie's P.O.V.

Day three, me being unable to move.

I can hear someone sitting next to me, and by the scent of mint and apple shampoo, I can tell it's Luke.

He takes my hand in his, and takes a deep breath.

"Hey there, Charlie. I'm not quite sure if you can hear me, but the doctors told me you do. So here I am, talking to you."

I can hear you Luke, how are you? I realise it's stupid to ask, he can't hear me anyway.

"It has been already three days since you're in a coma, and I couldn't feel more miserable."

I too feel miserable, I want to hug you. I want to kiss you. God, I really need your lips on mine. You know how it feels like to be screaming your lungs out and nobody hears you?

"How could I not see this coming? I thought you were fine. Damn, I really thought. I was happy that I saved you from cutting, but I guess I was wrong after all. I feel like such an ass for not listening enough to you, when you always do. Just like now, listening to me rambling on and on. This is what I've been doing the past three days.

Talking to you. "

It's not your fault, Luke. I'm just not open enough towards you. I am glad that you keep talking to me, even though you don't know if I can hear you.

But I do.

Loud and clear.

"But don't worry, I do go home to shower and eat. Or, the boys and Joy force me to. If it wasn't for them, I'd be sitting here all day, and all night. Waiting for you to wake up. Maybe you'll wake up tomorrow, maybe next week. But I promise, I really promise, that I'll be right beside you when you do."

I'm grateful Joy forces you to. I cannot imagine you not being around anymore. I hope you keep on doing this great, I'm proud of you.

"Cal and Mikey have been visiting you too, they really care about you. We all do, though. I cannot wait to see you beat Michael at Fifa on his Ps4. You know how he hates getting defeated by a girl."

He has a Ps4 now? What a spoiled kid. I really love Michael, as a friend ofcourse. He teached me how to play Zombies, and also how to dye my hair properly.

"Ashton and Joy also came a lot lately. Ashton always tells you jokes and idiotic stories, but I know you love them. He's been down about this whole situation."

I can tell. He isn't the happy ponylover anymore. But that's just because they're all in a kind of a shock. The more I think about my suicide attempt, the more stupid I think I was.

"I guess you really have an impact on us.

Joy really misses you. She even insist on washing your hair and doing your make-up. I swear, I tried to stop her, but she said girls always need to look breathtaking, and this is not an excuse not to. She's one weird girl.

But you really don't need all that make-up to look beautiful to me. You really don't."

If I could swat your arm for being cheesy, I would. But hey, thank Joy for making me look less dead. Joy is my only female friend, and I'm really happy that she's in my life.

Being in a coma has its pluspoints.

You can think about every single person long enough.

But mostly, I thought about you, Luke.

"Look at you, even laying in a hospitalbed, looking gorgeous and you don't even try. How do you do that?"

I don't even know. You just see every good piece in me. And I do the same with you.

"You do some really weird things to me, Charlie. I've never felt anything near this for anyone before. You make me smile, even when I don't want to.

The doctors said you're a very strong young lady, but they're keeping you in an artificial coma because you lost too much blood."

If I only could tell you how I feel about you. Yes, I said I love you, but I didn't told you I love you with all my heart.

Yet.

"Once agian I saved you, yes, but I could prevent it if I just was there for you. If I was, you'd probably be laying in bed now, your head on my chest, sleeping peacefully with a messy bun on top of your head.

Those are the little things that make you special.

You can really pull of the most weird items in your closet.

Like that one hippie shirt you wore a while ago."

He takes a deep sigh, rubbing his hand over my arm. His hand feels really warm compared to my arm. He is like a human stove.

That's why I love it to sleep on his bare chest. The rising and falling of his chest, the steady heartbeat, it soothes me.

"You know, when I was packing your bag three days ago, I bumped into your diary. Please don't hate me for this, but I've read a few pages.

I really didn't knew there were so many problems for you to deal with.

Fuck, I need to listen more."

He read my diary? Fuck. That's all I can say to that. But I'm certainly not mad at him. I can't.

"Just please, please wake up soon, baby. I miss you like crazy. I'm a mess without you."

I really try to wake up, just for you. But my eyes seem to be glued together, I really want to see your face. I want to feel your lippiercing touching my lip.

I need you.

"It sometimes feels like I'm talking to myself or these hideous walls, but somewhere, I feel like you can hear this, I just know it.

Oh, I also told the girls, who told you to kill yourself, that they're the reason that you're in the hospital right now and that I'm miserable because of them. I need them to have mercy.

It may sound rude, but it isn't."

Thank you. Thank you a million times. What should I even do without you?

"What if you didn't called me up?

Or what if I wasn't on time?

I'd litteraly killed myself if I wasn't.

I can't live without you anymore, as you can probably hear by my pleading.

God, I love you so fucking much, Charlie.

I love you.

Oh, and Merry Christmas."

And I love you, Luke Hemmings. More than you can ever imagine.

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