Luke's P.O.V.

"Shit..." Is the only thing that comes out of my mouth when I see her.

She lays on the bathroom floor, her arms carved with vertical cuts.

The blood streams down her arms, and my body doesn't react.

I have absolutely no idea of what I should do.

I snap out of my thoughts and run over to Charlie.

My hand tries to search for pulse, I can barely find something.

Her blood slowy soaks into my black jeans, which reminds me I need to call an ambulance.

The other side rings over for about a minute, which really annoys me.

"Emergency call, how can I help you?" The woman's voice asks calmly.

"Uh, my girlfriend cut her wrists and I don't know how long she layed here and I really need some help." I quickly speak up, realising my voice is shaking badly, my hands also.

After I've given the woman all the information she needed, I'm still on my knees, trying to staunch the cuts.

A once white towel does a service to pressure the wounds, and within minutes, it's stained with deep red blood.

When is this fucking ambulance coming?

Just when I thaught this, I hear a faint sound of a siren.

A few moments later, I hear a loud knock on the door, so I rush to open it.

Two men and one woman are standing in the hallway, staring at me.

"She's in the bathroom, second door on the right." I inform them, and they nod at me, making their way to the bathroom.

I decide to go wash my hands in the kitchen, since the bathroom is stocked.

I only now realise my hands are stained with Charlie's blood. When I look in the shiny surface of the tap, I can see my face has also a few swipes of the red fluid.

Now I get why the paramedics were looking at me, I look like a fucking zombie.

"Excuse me, young man?" The womans voice surprises me.

I turn around to face her, full of hope.

"We're taking her to the hospital right now, but she'll make it."

A huge sigh comes out of my mouth, and I can feel my muscles relax.

"You may want to pack a few stuff for her, like pyjama's and fresh clothes." She informs me, she's really calm.

"Thank you so much." I say, giving her a hug, which may sound weird.

It probably is.

"It's nothing, young man. You already did a great job cleaning the wounds. She's one lucky girl." She smiles at me.

"Lauren, we're going now." One of the men says, carrying Charlie on a brancat, white sheets covering her body.

She looks pale, very pale.

"Take care, young man." Are the woman's last words before closing the door.

Silence falls over me, I'm in some kind of shock.

A thousand thoughts are crossing my mind at the same time, I can't figure out the words that are flowing through my head.

I should probably clean the bathroom, but I don't dare.

I can't face more blood.

I decide to just to it, I couldn't bare it if Charlie had to clean it herself.

A good thirty minutes later, the bathroomfloor is back to white, and all the razors are thrown away.

It's already a quarter to three in the afternoon, and I still need to pack Charlie's stuff.

I make my way to her room, I've never seen it properly before, to be honest.

I switch on the light, and it exposes two walls covered in posters and pictures, the other two plain white.

Most of the posters are from common bands, like Bring Me The Horizon and Green Day.

I find a black backpack next to her bed, so I guess I'll throw her clothes in there.

I feel like such a stalker when I open her closet, it feels odd.

I'm surprised to find some DropDead shirts, she's never worn them before.

I decide to take a black sweater, which seems mine.

I wonder when she took that.

Also a skinny jeans and some clean underwear.

When I picked her socks, I bump into a dark blue book with silver letters on it.

"Charlie Tompkins' Diary"

It's pretty thick, and it doesn't has a lock or something.

Only a white elastic around a little button.

Should I read it?

Maybe one or two pages.

I get the white elastic off of the button and open the book.

Date: September 13th, 2011

Dear Diary,

Today was okay, I guess. We had a class photographer today, I hope I look okay!

Probably not.

I didn't had panick attacks since June, that's a big plus.

Rebecca is acting weird towards me.

She says I have a weird face, and that I'm fat... Am I fat? I weigh 53kg for 1m65, that's regular.

But she's the popular brat who gets everything from her beloved daddy.

Anyways, I have Joy. She's really nice and funny.

I hope this is going to be a fun school year!

Lot's of Love

Charlotte

This doesn't seem too bad, so I decide to skip a few pages.

Date: February 2nd, 2012

Dear Diary,

It's hard writing with a cast till my elbow. How it happened? Tasha pushed me down the stairs, fucking bitch.

Almost everybody on my school hates me for no goddamn reason. So I made a reason to hate me.

Pencil sharpener blades are pretty sharp, huh?

But Pierce The Veil and Joy are here for me.

My dad hit me also. Let's just say I have some bruises on my arms and chest now.

Life sucks. Balls.

Byebye,

Charlotte

I didn't knew the selfharming started this early... And who is this Tasha cunt?

Another few pages are being skipped. A lot of pages, actually.

Date: May 25th, 2012

Dear Diary,

I finally did it. I dropped out of school, and I'm glad about it. I disconnected with all the people from my school, they don't need to stay in touch with me if they're not planning on being nice to me.

Depression is being a dick to me too, the cuts have now spreaded to my stomach and thighs.

I moved in with Joy, that's way more chill than living with my prick of a dad.

Also, my DropDead merch arrived! Exited thing of the week.

It was expansive, yes, but totally worth my money.

I'm thinking of a piercing.. Maybe an eyebrow piercing.

Or a stretcher.

I don't know yet.

Anyways, ciao!

Charlotte

I find Charlie's diary very interesting, there's something about it, but I can't lay my finger on it.

There are still a few pages left, maybe fifty.

I guess she doesn't write everyday.

She definately doesn't, because when I turn over five pages, it's already 2013.

Date: August 17th, 2013

Dear Diary,

It's been a while, I really didn't had any time to write, and that will remain for a while.

Today was awkward.

First of all, I died my hair a blue kind of shade. I didn't bleached it before, so it turned out really dark.

Also, Joy's got a boyfriend! Ashton.

I'm so happy for her.

I met his friends today, they kinda bumped in on me when I was singing some Blink-182.

There were Ashton, Calum, Michael and Luke..

They all seem very nice, they have a band together!

The boys really keep me off my mind, which is good, or atleast, that's what Joy told me.

They listen to the same music as me, that's so cool.

I'm really glad I now have more than 1 friend, it gives me a good feeling.

Speaking of music, my new DropDead merch arrived, a black beanie and some socks.

Do I need to tell more?

My life is almost good now.

Love,

Charlotte

I really like the fact that she still uses the same beginning and ending of her diary, it's some kind of habit, I guess.

Date: September 21st, 2013

Dear Diary,

I really don't know where to begin.

The boys and me are doing some great jam sessions, and Luke is teaching me how to play the guitar.

I suck at it though.

I almost broke a string, god.

He doesn't own two guitars, so he has to teach me when I sit in front of him.

I know it sounds stupid, but I feel very comfortable like that.

The way he lays his chin on my shoulder, because I can't seem to find the bloody g-string.

I begin to like Luke, like, REALLY like him...

He's one of the nicest and kindest boys I've ever met.

And let's not begin over his blue eyes.

God, I really have a thing for boys who play guitar.

He has an amazing voice also.

I sound like a teenager drooling over the popular boy on high school,

don't I?

I don't know what else to say.. I tasted beer for the very first time yesterday, and it's disgusting!

I guess I'll stick to chocolate milk and smoothies for the rest of my life.

I'm gonna go now, Luke is picking me up to hang out :)...

Adios,

Charlotte

So that's when Charlie started to like me, that's about the same time when I did too.

It's funny that she writes about me.

It feels weird.

Maybe one last page?

Date: November 29th, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today has been crazy, I might have a boyfriend now, hehe.

Yes, it's Luke, and yes, I love him with all my heart.

He has found out about my cuts, and he really tries his best to prevent me from selfharming.

So gentle of him.

We got together today, after a fight.

Sounds crazy, huh?

I started cutting agian, and he noticed.

So that's when he got pretty pissed off, me also.

When I asked why he cared so much, he just blantly kissed me.

Just like that.

And it was simply perfect, as cheesy as it sounds.

I hope we stay together forever, and I surely hope he doesn't get bored of me.

His hair is really soft, by the way.

I cannot explain my feelings for him, it's something complicated.

I feel like.. Like I'm problem free when I'm with him. But at the same time so goddamned concernd that I'll loose him by acting like a fool.

But he's a sensitive boy.

He really takes care of me, he even cleaned out my cuts when he saw them.

I really am happy for once.

Lots of love,

Charlotte

And that is the last page she's written. I'm absolutely stunned by her diary. How comes I didn't knew about this?

But one thing is sure:

I even love her more than I did before.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

EARLY UPDATE BC ILY ALL AW

Slightly different chapter today :)

It was hard for me to write this because I never owned a diary

Comment&vote<3

Xoxo