"You are ridiculous," Logan giggles. I hurl a gum wrapper at his forehead. "No really. You cheated on the girl. She didn't even sleep with whats-his-name. You're not the only one who can be wrong, you know." Logan sips the last of his vanilla coffee and gives me a knowing look.

"I can't stand her. I can't stand this. I'm ready to jump into the school with a shirt that says 'I'm a fag' printed on the front," I shrug. Logan rolls his eyes and grabs my hand. "Really, Logan, I'm sick of it." The girl at the counter obviously eavesdrops on our conversation. I would get mad, but she looks about nineteen and probably has no life. Then I remember that she has given us close to free drinks for the days we've been coming here. I decide to just lower my voice. "I saw Conner today. He looked absolutely wrecked. I mean... I don't know. He wanted me back and all that junk. I didn't listen to it, of course. But he just wasn't right."

"You think people are picking on him? He is a small one, and if people know he's a bender then who knows what hell he might go through," Logan throws both our cups away. In the few months Conner and I were friends, he never mentioned anyone picking on him. I know Tyler bothers him now, but...

"Tyler. He's with Tyler right now and he mentioned that Tyler wouldn't leave him alone twice now. Oh, I swear if that fucker is hurting Conner--"

"Woah, woah. Don't get ahead," Logan walks with me to my car. "You said Conner was a sassy sonofabitch and he can take care of himself. I met Tyler once. He was hitting on me hard but once I told him to bugger off, he did without question." Logan opens the door for me. I roll my eyes. "Just... calm down. For me? You're so worried about Conner and Christina and Tyler and American football. Just calm down," Logan smiles and kisses me gently. "Can I come over today?"

"I thought you'd never want to step into my house again," I grumble. "Anytime after 6 is fine." Logan kisses me again and goes to his own car. I inhale deeply and sigh the breath out with a frustrated huff. I don't want to take Christina to F&F. Why did I have to kiss Conner? My life would still be relatively perfect. My palms slam onto my steering wheel. I hear a distinct crack. In a panic, I inspect the round wheel. It's loose. Could my life get any worse?

* * * * *

"Brandon!" Janie exclaims and runs toward me.

"Janie!" I say with a fake smile. She nervously shuffles me to a corner. "What--"

"You feel alright? I don't think you're feeling alright. You look sick. Sick as hell. You should go home," Janie says nervously and looks around. "Go talk to the nurse and go home. I mean, your eyes a-and your teeth. Man, you look messed up. Stomach flu? Yeah?"

"Janie, I'm fine--"

"Brandon! Just go. Please," Janie sing-songs. She looks around again. Before she dances in a little mamba. "You're sick, you're sick, you're sicky sicky siiiick. La la la go home la la--"

"Um, I think you need help. Wanna tell me what's going on?" I demand. Janie just smiles and runs her hand through her short, black hair before awkwardly waddling back and forth on her bowlegs. "Janie. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, nothing. You just--" Janie begins. I push past her and begin to walk to my next class when Hannah stops me. Seems like she's come out of nowhere. Her hair is almost a mess and she's breathing heavy.

"You need to leave. You need to go home," Hannah says lowly. "Brandon, just say you're sick or something. You need to get the freak out of here." I pull both girls into a small group with me. "Brandon listen to me--"

"No, you listen to me. I've had a bad day so far, and you're telling me to go home for what I think is no reason. What. Is. Going. On." The small girls exchange worried looks and push me into the same corner.

"Ashley. S-she keeps telling people about the party. She told people you made out with Logan," Hannah whispers. No. No! This can't be happening. I haven't done anything for Karma to kick my ass. My ears hear the words coming out of Hannah's mouth, but my brain just screams DANGER. DANGER. Isn't my life shitty enough? People already suspect things about me. This doesn't make sense! I should've never ever taken that dare.

"You're kidding," I gasp. They shake their heads. "Why would she... I don't understand--"

"Apparently she was super jealous when you picked Hannah over her. But I suspect it was something else. She's such a bitch, ugh I am so sorry!" Janie whispers sharply.

"This is not funny. What the fuck am I supposed to do, Janie? Goodbye high school life, Christ. I'm dead."

"We don't know what to do. We never should've let her play with us. She was already nasty to us before. I can't believe she would do that to you," Hannah says. Her eyes are almost watering with tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Guys." My brain sorts through a million different thoughts. This is the absolute worst time for this to be going around. "I broke up with Christina today. Everyone's going to think it's because-- goddamn it!" I slam my fist into the wall. "What am I gonna do?" This is the worst possible thing that could've happened right now. Goodbye football for sure.

"We'll deny it ever happened. Ashley tried to use us as witnesses but we said it never happened, I swear," Janie explains. "No one else saw, so they might not believe Ashley."

"That's not good enough," I complain. What would James do in this? Oh, he'd shrug it off and go smoke pot. What would.... what would Christina do? The gears start turning rapidly in my head. Rumors are only defeated by other rumors. "Guys, I have an idea."

* * * * *

"Did you hear about the crap Ashley Durst started about you?" Matt asks before practice. He's so perfect, he's almost pretty. Not a blemish on his skin. Perfect, straight teeth and deep salmon colored lips. Lavender tinted eyes framed in long lashes—

Brandon, this is not the time.

"Yeah... not all of it, though. She said something like, I kissed a dude or something, right?" I ask. My devious plan worked out perfectly. I think I'll keep Janie and Hannah close. Ashley is gonna have a hard time tomorrow for sure. "Gimme a break. As if people already don't talk about me."

"She's thirsty. I heard she only claimed that because Mitch says shit like that, you know? She wants on his dick, bad," Matt shakes his head. "Janie said Ashley was pissed at the party cause you wouldn't let her suck you off." Matt smacks my shoulder.

"Oh, yeah. She tried a few times. Girls are dumb sometimes, you know?" I smirk. "Why Mitch anyway?"

"Who knows? Dude, you're seriously not bothered by this?" Matt laughs. Why does he care? Matt is cool and all, but this isn't normal locker room talk. I can tell many of my teammates are listening to our conversation.

"No. Seriously, Matt. What dude would kiss me? Hey, Mitch! Would you kiss me?" I ask loudly. Mitchell hands me the dirtiest look he can muster. "Aww, come on, Mitchell. You don't find me attractive?"

"I'd kiss you, Brandon," Tyler says loudly. I try not to wince. Usually, I wouldn't mind joking, but since he knows my situation, since he's Tyler, I want to punch him. Most guys laugh anyway.

"Me, too!" Darian Shields joins in. Oh, good. A life saver. The other guys chime in on my little crack against Mitchell.

"Not before I get a smooch in," Conner says with a smirk. The other guys 'ooohh' out of habit, and the fact that Freshman just talked in the locker room. And the first thing he talks about is kissing me. I feel my cheeks get hot and immediately put on my helmet.

"You're all gaayyyy," I say exaggeratedly as we all pile out of the school and onto the field. I feel someone grab my butt on the way. It's not Conner or Tyler. Those two are ahead of me. I just shake it off.

"Number 17!" Coach Troy calls after we've completed warm up. I jog over and pull off my blue helmet. Coach Troy puts a hand on my shoulder. "You're a pretty positive player. Do you think you're a positive player?"

"Um... I kinda just play, Sir," I reply carefully. Great, he heard I was going to quit. This is either going to be a heartfelt lecture to keep me on the team, or a threat to keep me from quitting. Neither of which are worth my time.

"Good, good. You're good with Freshman, yeah?" he asks. Keep cool. I nod once. "He needs a confidence boost, Owens. Furst is having some family trouble, and Freshman is gonna have to play in two days."

"I'm not sure what you're asking," I lie. My heart rate speeds up. Why me? Why can't someone else hang out Conner until he stops being a shy little twerp?

"I want you to just... kick start the kid. Before the season even started, he told be that he wanted to be as good a player as you. I just shrugged him off. I mean, c'mon. He's two feet tall." Coach Troy points at Conner standing next to Carter. "This wouldn't be an issue if we had someone else to throw."

"I'll be quarter back," I offer. Coach just gives me a look. "Okay. What, so I'm supposed to give him a treat everytime he does something right?" In the distance, Conner almost falls over when he sneezes.

"No, Owens. Take him on a date and give him flowers. What do you think you're supposed to do? Just befriend the kid. He's got nobody on the team." Coach Troy blows the whistle and everyone hustles in. Now I have to babysit Conner. Oh trust me. He's got enough confidence.

* * * * *

I'll be the last one out of the locker room tonight. With all that's happened today, my nerves, muscles, bones, eyeballs, teeth, brain cells--- everything is worn out. I just stand under the hot shower water to relax.

Granted, some people will believe Ashley, but Janie and Hannah are school queens. I whisper a meaningless plea that people will just forget and think Ashley's crazy. Ashley did think that the water fountains recycled toilet water because "why else would all of them be placed by the bathrooms?" I want to know why she snitched.

'Playing chess with your dad. It's 6:30, mate. ~Logan :)' Oh my gosh... it's 6:41 now. Logan is not playing chess with my father. I might scream. I consider seriously running out of the locker room in only a towel, but the weather is getting nippy this time of year. However, if I do get sick, I don't have to play on Friday--oh forget it. Forget it like I forgot that I said Logan could come over anytime after 6.

Fully clothed, I run out to my car and start the engine before I even sit down. When I turn my lights on, I catch a view of Conner sharing heated words with Tyler by his car. I roll my windows down to hear them.

"You're always making goddamn excuses," Tyler says.

"You don't want an excuse? You want the truth? I freaking hate you. You make me sick. I want you to leave me alone," Conner sneers. I see Tyler's arm wind up before he smacks Conner hard across his face. Conner tries to swing back, but Tyler is too quick and holds his arm before striking Conner again. My only reaction is to honk the horn on my ugly truck loud and long. They both jump.

"Go home Tyler!" I shout. Both guys squint into my window. "Conner, get your ass over here!" Tyler shoves Conner my way and immediately speeds off. Conner slumps to my truck window. "What the hell just happened?"

"He's just being a dick as usual. Don't worry about me," Conner shrugs.

"He hit you. In the face," I say shortly.

"Why is that your concern? I thought you 'couldn't be around me'. So how about we stop pretending. You like me, I like you." Conner shrugs like it's the simplest thing in the world. Ah, yes. Let's inaccurately sum up our relationship in two seconds.

"I don't like you, Conner."

"Then why did you call me over?" he asks, annoyed.

"Because I care that Tyler slapped you in the face for no reason. Is it hard to understand that I... care about you? I don't have to like you to care about you, Conner." He just stares into my eyes blankly. He just doesn't get it. "I'm not gonna forget what you did, but I can put it aside, Conner." Conner's eyes still show that he has no idea what on earth I'm saying. Like I'm explaining the facts of alien life forms.

"Okay, so you supposedly 'care' about me," Conner puts finger quotes around care, "but you don't want to sleep with me?" Conner laughs. "I think you have some issues." So, he's serious. He has no idea you can have friends and not bang them. Conner walks away with his last statement and laughs. I worry about him.

* * * * *

"I'm so sorry I'm late," I sigh once I get into the door. Logan wasn't kidding; both him and my dad look up at me from their game of chess. I smell food from the kitchen and my stomach reacts, growling loudly

"No bother. We just ate without you. And your parents adopted me." Logan flashes me a bright smile before adding: "You're living in the basement, now."

"We don't have a basement, Loser. Wouldn't surprise me if they adopted you, though. What's for dinner?" My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I ignore it.

"Sloppy joes," Dad sighs. "Extra sloppy, since your mother is cooking."

"I heard that!" Mom shouts from the kitchen. "No food for you." I hear pots and pans clank into the floor. Then a bigger crash. "Shit." My dad sits up and frowns. I crack up. My mom really can't cook.

"Julie, we have company." My dad shakes his head. "Logan. I'll have to cut this one short," my dad grumbles.

"No, you won't." Logan takes his piece and places it in front of my dad's. "Checkmate." My dad sits there, stunned and mouth half open. "What are sloppy joes anyway?"

"You take one half cup of everything from your fridge, literally everything. Then you put it in a pot and boil it until it turns solid. Then you eat it like a cookie, dipping it in mayonnaise." I lie. Logan's expression is horrified. "If it never turns solid, you slurp it with a straw," I continue.

"Please don't ever cook," my dad shudders.

"I won't. Logan, let's go upstairs." I head to my room with him close behind. "Actually, it's just ground beef and a tomato-barbeque-like sauce," I explain an open the door for him. "It's pretty good."

"Good, because what you said before just made me cringe." Logan flops onto my bed. "So, I heard you kissed a boy at a party last week." He raises his eyebrows suggestively. I roll my eyes. "Then I heard it wasn't true, and the girl who said it has mental issues and wants you to get her pregnant."

"Yeah--no? I don't even want to go though this right now. I never should've done that da--" Logan half smiles and diverts his attention to the floor. "I don't mean you. I'm just saying..."

"No, I get it. I'm not all that sexy until you kiss me," he jokes. "Try before you buy." He pretend sniffs and swipes away fake tears. I shake my head and tackle him on the bed. That contagious, too adorable laugh sounds from his chest. I can't help but kiss him. I've never met a naturally happy person besides my mother, and I think that's one thing that attracts me to Logan so much, besides his model good looks.

"Hmmm... I'm single now," I say with a click of my tongue. "What will I do about that..." I slide my fingers past the waist band of his denim jeans.

"Dinner's ready!" my mom announces along with a strong knock at the door. By the time she's walked away, I've hopped off of Logan landed with a thunk on the carpet. My heart is beating faster than when I sprint in football.

Logan inspects his sloppy joe before he cautiously takes a tiny bite. Then he shrugs a, trace of a smile tickling his lips.

"How's everyone's day?" my mom starts. We all glance at each other, cueing who should go first.

"I had a good day, Brandon's mum," Logan jokes. He definitely knows my last name now. "I fell asleep in three classes."

"I also fell asleep in three classes," I fib. Yeah right. I'd never ever fall asleep in class, even if I were paid.

"You did not," my mom laughs. "Stefan, how was your day?"

"I fell asleep in three classes," my dad nods. Logan laughs out loud. I've seen more humor out of my father in the past week than I have in six years. It's too foreign to laugh at, but I chuckle anyway. "All jokes aside, I had a more overwhelming day than usual. I think I signed and stamped at least 700 papers."

"At least you don't have to observe flowers for the rest of the semester," Logan says.

"At least your girlfriend didn't start hitting on your worst enemy," I shrug. Six eyeballs hit me with a stare. "Yep."

"Who's your worst enemy?" Mom asks after some silence.

"Mitchell Kern?" I say. I've told her this before.

"Aww. I thought you were friends with him. His brother was the nicest thing. Used to cut our grass for free in the front yard."

"For only about the 28,374th time, I hate Mitchell. He's a terrible human being. He could melt for all I care." I take a big bite of my sandwich and stuff some chips in my mouth.

"Brandon, don't say things like that. You know how you would feel if something really happened to Mitchell," Dad nods. "And don't stuff your mouth."

"I'm seventeen, not seven," I say nonchalantly.

"What else happened today? Sorry about Christina, sweetie. She seemed like a nice girl," my mom interrupts. "Well, speaking of the Kerns, I heard an interesting thing at work."

"Is this about the lunchroom?" I ask quickly. My mom gives me a questioning look. "Nevermind."

"No... Michael Kern is finishing college early. He's a smart boy."

"Michael used to kick me and call me lard ass," I reply. My parents both give me the 'you are pushing it' look. "He did. I never told anyone because I was actually obese. He even compared me to Jigglypuff." Logan discreetly places his hand on my leg and squeezes. But my filter is gone. "Michael also threw things at me and told me I was just a huge balloon and he was trying to pop me because I'm probably full of chocolate milk. Oh, and he used to hit me with a baseball bat, so I'd have to run away, but I couldn't really run so I'd just cry and cry until he stopped. Now, Mitchell calls me Gay Boy all the time for no reason. He used to put tampons in my gym bag freshman year. One time he super glued the lock to my locker." Everyone just stares at me in shock. I've never expressed those feelings before. I barely think about them at all. It all pours out like a fountain.

"I wish you would've said something, sweetheart..." my mom says softly with a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, whatever. May I be excused?" I ask quickly. Both my parents nod and I storm to my room. What possessed me to say all those things? I've never been bothered by it before. Really, I haven't. Now it all spews out of me at once.

I must've stashed those feelings and thoughts away for a long time. It didn't matter that Michael called me fat after I lost all that weight. It didn't matter that Mitch glued my locker shut after I got popular from football.

The soft knock on the door twenty minutes later is my mom. "Why not?" I sigh. She comes in with a giant cinnamon roll and a cup of milk. At least I know why I was a fat kid. My mom says cinnamon rolls were the first thing she learned to bake.

"Logan went home. He said to let you know you should call him." She hands me the plate and sets the milk on the table next to Satan-Roger.

"I ruined dinner," I crack.

"No... I admit you put a cloud on some aspects. But after you left, your dad and I realized a few things. And that's very good."

"Whatever." I fork a piece of the gooey roll into my mouth. It doesn't even taste as good as it should. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Brandon Shay." She kisses my forehead. "I won't ask any questions, but I'll be up if you want to talk. Love you, Sweetheart."

"Love you, too."

*

*

Author's Note: So, yeah. Kinda sad. What do you think?