Aiden

Hey, my parents are making us fly out to Denver to visit old friends of theirs. We're gonna be in town at the same time you will for the tour. You wanna hang out or something? I promise Jessica won't be there.

I stare at the text dully, willing a response out of her. I mean, yeah, it's only been five minutes since I sent it, but I've just about lost hope.

I mean, when I scroll back through this text thread, it makes me feel like Peter Parker texting Happy.

Because she hasn't responded since we talked after Jessica first started in. And that was two weeks ago.

I exhale heavily. I don't even know why I'm still trying. I just... there's something special about Lexi. We've only spoken in real life once, and yet I just feel something about her... something that I've never felt before.

And anyway, it's the least I can after what happened to her, especially since it's my fault.

I mean, I didn't exactly want to answer when my parents asked if I'd heard anything about Lexi's story, but I wasn't going to lie to them, and when they found out I did, they really wouldn't stop asking me. They didn't think she'd care. And maybe she wouldn't have with them. But it didn't even cross my mind that Jessica would be listening. Or that she would end up doing what she did.

And I'm pretty sure she's still doing it. I mean, she switched to an account that my parents don't know she has, under a name that isn't hers, so there's really no stopping her. They took away her phone for a week, but then I know she was just using her friends'. And now she has it back.

I just don't get it. How could she do this to an innocent girl? It doesn't make any sense. And how could so many so-called Christians go along with it and even join in?

I'm pulled from my thoughts by the quiet chime of my phone.

Could it be... no. There's no way.

I look down, and joy I can't explain floods over me. Lexi responded.

I guess. Like what would we do?

I hesitate.

Have you seen Spiderman Homecoming yet?

No.

It's really good. How about we go see it?

Sure

I shoot back a smiling emoji, then drop back on my bed where I'm sitting in triumph. It finally worked. I just hope something doesn't ruin this, too.

Alexis

I sigh as I feel the bus pull into the venue in Denver. I'm not looking forward to this... at all.

I mean, first of all, I have my... thing... with Aiden. And for some stupid reason, I'm totally nervous.

And second... I just don't know if I'm ready to be back here yet.

Colton asked me before they scheduled a tour date here, but I told him it would be fine. I thought that it would be fine. But it's not.

There's just so many memories I have in this horrible city. Good ones, of my childhood and Danny, but all of those are tainted by what came next. And that was horrible.

"Hey, Lexi, we're gonna unload, okay?" Colton asks, poking his head around the corner.

I nod. "Okay."

He smiles at me. "Come in if you feel like it. If not, I'll be back over in a while."

I just nod again, and he disappears.

I reach back to pick up my journal and open it to a fresh page. I've been trying to song write every time I feel like cutting. It doesn't make the pain go away, but I'm building up quite the collection of songs.

Why can I remember

The way I smiled when you looked at me?

Why can I hold that day forever,

But only through the screen of reality?

Cause I thought love so true,

The unbreakable kind.

I thought skies were so blue,

Now all I wanna do is die.

I stare in a mild amount of shock at the line I just wrote.

Is that true?

I feel tears sting that back of my eyes as the realization hits me.

Of course, it's true. It's been a reality I've been trying to escape ever since Jessica happened.

I shove the thought away and continue to write.

And I know that my life

Has turned again,

But how long until strife

Takes the upper hand?

And why can I remember

The way it felt when you looked at me?

Why can I see that day forever,

But only through the screen of reality?

Cause you stepped in, an' you saved me,

Like a knight in armor that shines.

Had no idea that you would be

One of my hardest times.

Cause oceans were deep inside your eyes

But the ocean turns grey

When the blue leaves the sky.

And why can I remember

That I felt loved when you looked at me?

Why can I hold the moment forever,

But only through the screen of reality?

The touch of your hand,

It felt like life itself.

And I my feet left land,

But I flied, and then I fell.

I hesitate again. Flied? Where did that come from? Shouldn't it be 'flew'? And yet, the other one sounds better, and I can't bring myself to change it. Whatever.

And I miss your smile,

And the way you looked at me,

Even though now I know,

I was blind, and now I see.

And why can I remember

The way I smiled when you looked at me?

Why can I hold that day forever,

But only through the screen of reality?

Cause I'd rather not remember

If pain is all it's gonna make me feel.

And I'd rather not let love in again,

Cause there's no hurt to a heart of steel.

The touch of your hand,

It felt like life itself.

And my feet left land,

But I flied, and then I fell.

And I miss your smile,

And the way you looked at me,

Even though now I know,

I was blind, and now I see.

Through the screen of reality.

I read back over the song, and tilt my head slightly. It sounds like a break-up song, but it's not. I was thinking about mainly Danny, the way he was so wonderful, until his cancer took it all, and also my parents, the bliss of my childhood before the harsh sting of reality. Weird. Whatever, I guess.

I turn back to the beginning of the book and start to read. I started this journal a little after I started living with Colton and Annie, and now it's nearly full. There's a lot of songs hiding in here.

The bus door opens, and I look up sharply.

"Lexi?" I recognize Alan's voice.

I don't say anything, but he comes back anyway, smiling when he sees me.

"Hey. I wanted to come and check on you. You've seemed a little quiet lately."

I shrug, looking away.

In fact, I've just had way too much to think about. And I've had to keep my head about me ever since I had that dream a few days ago, or else I freak out whenever Colton touches me. And the posts and texts keep coming.

He crosses the hall and climbs up to sit beside me.

"Anything you wanna talk about?" he asks gently.

I shake my head, not meeting his blue eyes.

"I'm fine."

He nods, though I know he doesn't believe me.

"Whatcha doing?"

I realize my book is still open, and I let one arm drop to cover it.

"Nothing."

But he's not fooled. He looks down at the page, and his face lights up.

"Wait... Lexi, were you song writing?"

"I..." I hesitate. I've never told anyone I do this. But there's not much hiding it now. "I guess."

"Girl, that's amazing!" he exclaims. "How many do you have?"

I swallow hard, flipping through the book to where I just ended.

"Those are all songs?" he asks, his eyes wide.

"I guess," I repeat, staring at the ground.

"Lexi!" he says, total joy in his voice. "Lexi, that's your thing!"

"What?" I ask, actually meeting his gaze for once.

"Your thing!" he repeats excitedly. "You know, like we talked about that first night. I told you that you had something!"

"I don't think..." I start, but he stops me.

"Lexi, you obviously love it if you've written that many. It helps you deal with stuff, doesn't it?"

I bite my lip, nodding it.

"And I know already you're gonna be good," he says seriously. "Girl, this is amazing. I know how much song writing can help you with life."

"I'm not gonna have to, like, sing them all to you guys now, am I?" I whisper.

He smiles. "Of course not. I'd love to read any you're comfortable with letting me, but no one's gonna make you do anything, okay?"

I nod, studying the book in my lap. "Okay."

"Now is there any of them... just one... that you'll let me read?" he presses.

I hesitate, thinking back through them. With a lot, I'm definitely not ready for that yet. But I can think of a few that I guess I wouldn't horribly mind him seeing.

I flip through the book until I find one of them. It's one I wrote about the day I almost killed myself... when John stopped me. I mean, it's pretty dark, I guess, but it doesn't really mention much that they don't all already know. Without looking him in the eye, I shove it his way.

He's quiet as he reads, but I see his eyes fill with tears. Finally, he looks at me again.

"Alexis, this is absolutely amazing. I knew you'd be good, but that beats anything that I could have imagined.

"Thanks," I whisper.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes gently. "I said you had one, didn't I?" he teases quietly. "Didn't I?"

I exhale, but I can't help a small smile. "You were right."

And I guess he was.