A/N: So, a few things to start off. First, I am SO sorry it's been like two weeks since I updated. It's been a crazy, sucky two weeks, but that's honestly no excuse. Second, I'm warning you in advance, the writing is probably going to suck. I'm writing at two-thirty in the morning because I'm trying to escape the fact that the human brain (or maybe it's just my stupid brain) can't comprehend it when someone you love dies, so I really don't have a lot of faith in myself right now. And third, I almost threw up writing some of this, so I'm sorry! It's not as bad as it'll seem at first, I swear!

Alexis

Fresh scars burn on my arm for what seems like the millionth time since I promised Colton I'd stop, and, as it always does, a fresh sense of shame threatens to overcome me. Why can't I just get it together?

I look up sharply at the sound of tour bus door opening, and frantically grab my pillow, shoving it into my lap to cover my razor and cloth and keeping my bleeding wrist pressed against it.

"Lexi, are you in here?" I hear Colton's voice the moment before he appears in the hallway. "What are you doing?" he asks, curiously eying where my arm is pressed against my pillow.

Immediately, his easy smile changes to a frown.

"You're bleeding." It's a statement, not a question.

How does he know? I open my mouth to protest, but the words catch in my mouth when I glance down at my lap. The blood on the pillow. Of course! How could I be so stupid?

"Colton, I..." I falter, as tears leap to my eyes. "I'm so sorry! I know I..."

He cuts me off, a look of pure anger that I've never seen on him before contorting his face and making me wince.

"Get down here right now." His tone is deathly quiet and packed with fury.

My hands are shaking, but I obey.

"I'm sorry, Colton!" I repeat through the tears that are now streaming down my face. "I..."

"You're sorry?" His yell stops my apology and makes me retreat a step, only to find the bunk at my back. "You're sorry?" he repeats, closing the distance between us in a single stride. "Do you really think that cuts it, Alexis? After all I've done for you, after all you've put me through... all the times I've forgiven you over and over and over again, and all you can say is you're sorry?"

Without warning, his hand comes across my face in a sharp blow. I stumble back onto the bed, too shocked to say anything. How could this be the Colton I know?

"Answer me, Alexis!" His voice only continues to raise. "You worthless, ungrateful brat, how could you even call yourself a Christian?"

"I..." He doesn't wait for me to respond.

"I bring you into my home, take care of you like you're my little sister, and you thank me by cutting up your arm like your life is still as horrible as it ever was?" Colton reaches out and hauls me to my feet, holding me there while his free hand strikes me across the face again. "How about I take you back? Do you want to go back to living like you used to, Alexis?"

He hits me again, and releases me. Desperately, I scramble for the door of the bus, but find Eric standing in my way. He takes me by the shoulders and shoves me back towards Colton.

"Take the punishment you deserve, you little brat!" he spits at me as he does. "How about I give you two a little privacy, Colt?"

Colton nods to him briefly. "Sounds perfect. We'll be out in time for the show. I just have to remind Lexi here where she came from."

I realize what they're talking about, and feel myself panic. I sprint for the door, but Colton catches me by the arm and drags me back towards him, striking me in the stomach and emptying me of air before shoving me back towards the bunk.

He takes a step toward me, and I scream.

I wake up in a cold sweat, to the sound of my own yell.

Colton

I start awake at the sound of someone screaming. Someone right above me. Lexi.

I sit up quickly, throwing off my blankets, as her yell cuts off and I hear her breath catch. Hurriedly, I stumble out of my own bunk and step onto the ladder, quickly pulling back the curtain.

"Lexi, Baby, it's okay," I whisper. "It's just a dream."

Her eyes lock onto me, and I start to offer her a comforting smile, but falter at the fear that appears in her gaze.

"I'm so sorry!" she gasps, tears beginning to run down her face. "I'll stop, I swear! I'm so sorry!"

"What are you talking about, Sweetheart?" I ask, as concern instantly begins to tear me apart. "Everything's gonna be okay, alright? I'm right here. You're just fine."

I reach out to place my hand on her arm, but freeze as a scream of pure terror is torn from her while she back desperately against the wall.

"Don't touch me!" she sobs. "Please!"

I open my mouth, but no words come out. What on earth is she talking about? Unless...

I turn to her frantically. "Alexis, listen to me, okay? Whatever you're thinking is going on right now... it was just a dream, alright, Sweetheart? I'm right here, and I'm not gonna hurt you, okay?"

I reach out for her hand, and she panics, diving past me in a desperate jump to the ground. Eric rolls from the bunk across from us catches her before she can run out the door, still shaking sleep off of himself.

"Lexi, what's the matter?" he asks groggily.

She screams again, backing away from him desperately.

"I know!" she gasps out through her tears. "I know, I'm just a worthless brat! Please, just let me go!"

I drop from the ladder, tears leaping to my own eyes as she says words, and winces away from me when I take a step towards her.

"Lexi, you're not worthless," I tell her desperately. "You are a beautiful, priceless daughter of the King, okay?"

"Stay away from me!" she cries out, crumpling to the floor in utter fear and shoving herself into the corner. "Please, don't do that to me! Not again, please!"

I open my mouth, but am cut off by the sound of the bus door opening, as Alan bursts inside.

"I heard Lexi scream," he says as he comes in. "What's going –"

He's cut off by Alexis streaking across the bus to hide behind him urgently.

"Alan, please don't let them hurt me!" she gasps. "Please! They... they're gonna... please, I can't do that again!"

"Do what?" he asks her frantically, turning around and placing both hands on her shoulders. "Baby, what are you talking about?"

She points back at us with an arm that's shaking. "They, they're gonna... they'll... I can't! Please don't let them!"

Alan looks at me, his face desperate for answers, but all I can do is shake my head, and he turns back to the terrified girl hiding behind him.

"Alexis, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you, okay?" he tells her steadily. "How about I take you back to my bus, and we talk about it there?"

She nods eagerly, her entire body shaking as she looks back at me, terror in her eyes.

"Okay." He takes a deep breath, looking back at me apologetically.

I wave him on. I just want to get Lexi calmed down. If he can do that, that's what I want to happen.

He nods briefly, then, placing an arm around her shoulders to support her shaking body, he leads her out of the bus.

I watch them go, confusion and fear struggling for control of my mind.

Oh, Jesus, please help her to be okay.

Alan

I help Alexis back to our bus, feeling her fear in every inch of her body, until we're finally inside.

I sink down on the couch, gently pulling her down as well, and wrapping her in a hug that presses her face to my shoulder as she sobs. I rock her shaking body carefully, feeling utterly helpless.

What on earth could have her so worked up? And why was she so terrified of Colton, when he obviously had no idea what was going on?

It was probably a dream. But... gosh, it must have been terrible, to put her like this.

We stay like this until her body slowly relaxes and her breathing steadies. She's asleep.

I don't want to risk waking her up, so I leave her like she is, carefully leaning back on the couch.

Cautiously, Chad pokes his head around the corner of the hallway, and I incline my head for him to go ahead and come out.

"What's up?" he whispers.

I just shake my head. "I have no idea. I heard her screaming, so I went over there, and she started asking me to protect her from Colton, like he was gonna hurt her or something. Like he was gonna... you know..."

He sucks in a sharp breath. "Ouch. That's not good. Nightmare, you think?"

I nod slowly. "Has to be. But it must have been horrible. I felt so bad for Colt..." I shake my head slowly. "He was just trying to help, but she was so scared of him, and there was nothing he could do about it. It must have hurt to see her like that."

"Yeah, really." Chad exhales heavily. "Satan is a real jerk."

"Seconded."

I look up to see Spencer coming from the back of the bus.

"Sorry," he adds. "I guess I was kinda eave's dropping. I woke up when I heard her scream, but you beat me to it, Alan, and I didn't wanna overwhelm her or anything."

I nod understanding and agreement. "Right. But don't worry about it. I would've been talking to you too if I had known you were up."

He offers me a half-hearted smile, but his eyes are drawn to Alexis again, and he shakes his head sadly.

"I just wish the devil would freaking leave her alone. She's already been through so much. And it feels like there's nothing we can do to help."

"What we can do is cover her in prayer." Caleb's the one joining the conversation this time as he enters this part of the bus, with Joey only a few paces behind. "She's a child of God," he continues, "and what Satin's doing to her isn't okay with me."

We all nod, silent for a long moment. Finally, I glance at the clock and see it's almost six anyway.

As if reading my mind, Joey turns to the kitchen. "I'll make coffee."

I grin at him playfully. "I knew there was a reason we kept you around."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he chuckles. "You know, me making it means I can withhold it from whomever I please."

I clear my throat, struggling to keep a straight face. "Joey, have I told you lately how vital I think you are to the band? No one could do better than you."

He rolls his eyes. "Alan, that just means so much. It so obviously straight from the heart, with absolutely no selfish intentions behind it."

"Yep," I reply easily, and look at Chad. "You know, Chad-man, I think I've told you this before, but I just want you to know how amazing your voice is. It's truly a work of art, a gift from God, a..."

He holds up his hands, sighing, though he can't help but smile. "Yes, Alan, I will make breakfast."

I grin at him. "Well, if you insist. That's so nice of you."

He shakes his head. "I'm only doing it 'cause you have Lexi in your lap."

"I don't care why you're doing it," I tell him, shrugging, "I just care that you're doing it."

He just laughs and gets to it, and soon he has pancakes and bacon cooking on the stove top.

I turn my eyes back to Lexi, still fast asleep in my lap, and my smile disappears in an instant. I can only pray that, when she wakes up this time, she'll be able to realize that whatever she dreamed was nothing more than that.

It's nearly eight by the time Lexi starts to stir. I managed to eat with her in place, and now I'm watching Caleb and Spencer race on Mario Cart again. It's kinda troubling how obsessed they are with the game.

I look down as Lexi shifts, before her eyes open and she sits up slowly.

She combs her hair out of her face, blinking uncertainly.

"What... what happened?" she whispers, her eyes finally focusing on me.

I reach out to brush away a strand of hair that she missed, offering her a small smile.

"I think you had a bad dream, Sweetheart. Something about Colton, maybe?"

Her eyes widen as I say the words, and I can see the memory flooding back into her mind.

"Oh my gosh," she whispers, her eyes squeezing shut. "****." It seems to take her a minute to realize what she just said, and she looks at me apologetically. "Sorry."

I just shrug slightly. It's not like I've never heard the word before.

"I can't believe I did that to Colton," she says after a long moment. "After all he's done for me... he must be so mad."

"Lexi, he's not mad," I tell her gently. "He was scared. Really scared. But not mad."

She just shakes her head. "I'm such a loser."

"No, you're not." It's Chad who says it, coming over and sitting down on her other side. "You've got a lot of mental scars from what you've been through. Those are just manifesting themselves in dreams. I don't blame you for reacting the way you did."

She doesn't answer, looking around and sighing before rising timidly. "I think I'll go talk to him." She hesitates before looking at me again. "Th... thanks, Alan."

I offer her a sad smile, pulling her into a quick hug. "You're so welcome, Sweetheart. I'll see you in a while."

And with that, she takes a deep breath and leaves the bus.