Chapter Ten
Soroya

"We'll hear the sound of violins,
out yonder where the blue begins,
the moon will guide us as we go drifting along."

The Ella Fitzgerald song 'Stairway to the Stars' continues to play as we drive through Zima, filling the silence around us that neither James nor I want to fill. On my part, I'm far too distracted to make conversation like I usually do. I'm too consumed with worry and anticipation over what we'll find when we get to Dr. Becker's lab. Will I find the answers I've been craving? Will I find nothing? Will going there send us on an even longer path to get answers?

I have no idea why James is so quiet. It could be because he's trying to be considerate and not pressure me into talking when I'm so distracted, but I can tell something else is bothering him. As he turns our stolen car down a darkly lit alleyway, his expression is thoughtful, his body language rigid. He seems stuck in his own mind.

I would bet his mind isn't the most pleasant place to be stuck in.

"Did you remember something?" I ask him softly, no longer able to contain my concern.

"Yes."

"When?"

"Last night." It's taken us three days to get to Zima, and both of us had agreed to alternating driving shifts so we could drive through the night and avoid staying in another bug infested room. But last night we were both so exhausted we didn't care, so we stopped at the nearest motel and passed out. I had thought he'd slept well...perhaps I was wrong.

"Do memories always come back to you while you sleep?"

"Lately yes," James sighs, his jaw tightening. "Last night I dreamt of the war."

It takes me a moment to realize he means World War II. Sometimes I forget how old he is. "Do you want to talk about it?"

James doesn't answer for a moment, then he says, " I dreamt of battle; how chaotic it was, how loud and terrifying it was. I watched so many men die; men I knew, men I had become friends with. Even after the fighting was over I would lay in my tent and listen to the screams of the wounded. I dreamt of writing letters to my family, to Steve, staring at the pictures of them I had in my tent as I did...up until last night I didn't know what any of them looked like—apart from Steve—and now because of the pictures in my dream I do."

"James..." I have no idea what to say, which is a first for me. There's nothing I could say that would lessen all the pain and suffering he has endured, and it leaves me feeling helpless in the face of his anguish.

Since I can't think of anything to say, I reach out and grab onto his flesh hand, linking my fingers with his, resting our arms between our two seats. For a second I think James will pull his hand away, but instead he squeezes my hand and continues to drive using his metal hand, his expression a little less haunted than before.

It takes another ten minutes to arrive at the address given in the note we found from Dr. Emma Becker. As with all bases in HYDRA, Becker's lab looks like a worn-down abandoned warehouse in order to look inconspicuous, but unlike HYDRA bases, the lab is in the middle of a field, not some abandoned alleyway or ghost-town. It's actually a pretty beautiful location; the grass is lush albeit unkempt, there's hills rolling in the distance, the sun is shining and the breeze is just right.

It's sad such a place of beauty is tainted by HYDRA.

"Do you sense anyone inside? Or is it abandoned?" James asks me as we head towards the lab, the grass swishing against our legs as we do.

As the breeze hits me again I take a deep breath, searching for any signs of life inside those walls, but I sense none. "It's empty."

"No matter what we find in there...I'll be right there by your side." He assures me with a smile, one that sends a flutter through my chest.

I reach out again and try to grip his hand, his metal one this time, but the moment my fingers brush his he flinches away. I'm about to apologize, worrying that I've been too forward and made him uncomfortable, but he explains before I can, "HYDRA gave me that arm, it's what's been associated with the Winter Soldier for decades. I saw the way you looked at it when we met again in that safehouse...I don't want my touch to make you uncomfortable."

I firmly grasp his metal hand in mine, my hatred for HYDRA reaching new heights. I hate that he's insecure about his arm. I hate that he constantly worries that he'll scare me or make me uncomfortable. I hate that he thinks his touch is something disgusting. "It doesn't. It couldn't."

We continue to hold hands as we head towards the lab, even as we enter it. The interior looks about as rundown as the outside, and strangely, it actually appears like a warehouse; there are rows of shelves filling the volume of the building, some with boxes and crates in them, some empty. There's a light switch near where we stand at the entrance, but when I flip it on nothing happens, which presents a problem. The lab is clearly hidden and we kind of need to be able to see to find it.

"Any animals you can change into that can glow?" James asks.

"Yes, but they're sea creatures which would be problematic in the current circumstance. But don't worry, I can shift into an owl. They can see in the dark."

I reluctantly let go of James's hand, and without even having to ask he turns his back to me and lets me get undressed. As I strip, I tell him, "If I find anything I'll hoot."

James's shoulders bob as he chuckles. "Then I await your hoot."

I glare at his back, fighting off a smile. "It's not smart to make fun of a shapeshifter."

"I've never been known for my intelligence."

"Keep it up and I'll torture you with the 60's channel on our way to the motel."

James's gasp is so dramatic I choke on a laugh. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"You cruel woman."

I just grin. "Just stand there and wait until I call."

"You mean hoot."

I roll my eyes, my grin widening as I finally shift into an owl. I fly right past him and hoot indignantly in his direction, which makes him chuckle again. With my enhanced eyesight in this form, it takes virtually no time for me to find the wooden lever on the wall opposite the entrance. I perch myself on top of it and begin to hoot just as I promised. James follows the noise, and when he appears before me, he smiles and gestures for me to move out of the way. I fly over to him and perch on his shoulder, and James just continues on like this is a totally normal occurrence.

An unexpected warmth spreads through my chest.

James pulls the lever and a flight of stairs appears in the floor a couple feet away, the steps completely covered in darkness. James walks over to the top of the staircase, peers down it, then says to me, "Go on ahead and find a light switch. Let me know if you need help."

I nip at his ear with my beak and then fly off his shoulder, soaring down the staircase just as he instructed. When I reach the bottom, I hover in the air and look around, but instead of a light switch, I find what we came here for.

Becker's lab.

There are long tables in three neat rows filled with scattered test tubes, microscopes, and paper scraps. Filing cabinets line the wall left of the entrance, some of the drawers open and seemingly empty while some are locked tight. On the far side of the lab there is a chair with a large metal arm attached to it and metal cuffs on the arms and legs. Next to the chair are wheeled tables stocked with equipment whose only purpose could be torture.

A chill erupts through my body.

"Soroya? Did you find the light?" James asks, appearing right behind me.

I scan the room again and find the light switch just a few feet away on the wall, so I hoot once and James flicks it on, allowing him full view of the lab in all its horrifying glory.

"Here." James pulls my clothes from his backpack and sets them down, turning his back to me once again. I shift back and get dressed, then I tap James on the shoulder and gesture towards the torture chamber in front of us.

"Let's get started." I tell him.

He turns around to face me and nods. "Filing cabinets?"

I nod back. "Filing cabinets."

There are ten cabinets in total with four drawers each. There's at least one drawer that's empty in each cabinet, and the ones that aren't empty have papers and files scattered without any organization. They look as if they've been thrown in there. This tells me this place has already been looted, though given the dust in here, I would say no one has been here for well over a decade.

That begs the question of who came in here and rummaged through everything.

"Find anything?" I ask as I break open one of the locked drawers.

"Nothing about you, just some formulas and files on deceased subjects."

I freeze. "H-have you—"

"No. I checked. Your parents and brother aren't among those files."

I let out a sigh of relief, giving him a small smile. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He brushes it off, returning to his search.

We work quickly and efficiently; going through each drawer and skimming each loose paper. Nothing we find is of interest though, that is until I open the bottom drawer of the fifth cabinet. It's locked pretty tight, but when I finally manage to pry it open, I find just a single file inside. It's thick, with a red stamp on it's cover that reads 'PROJECT SHIFTER: TERMINATED'.

"I think I found what we're looking for." I say, glancing over at James; finding his gaze on the chair across the room. The one with the metal arm.

"James?" I question, suddenly feeling concerned.

He whips his head around towards me, his eyes wide in panic, but this emotion quickly fades as he nods. "So we can go?"

I take the hint, clutching the file close to my chest. "Yes. Let's go."

-

After we find another crummy motel to stay in, I settle down on the floor—once again the beds are absolutely disgusting—and flip open the file I took from Becker's lab.

James is sitting by my side offering moral support.

"No matter what that file says or doesn't say," James whispers. "I'm here for you."

I nod, focusing my attention onto the file, and with a large gulp of air, I begin reading.

PROJECT SHIFTER began in August of 2000. Dr. Emma Becker was asked earlier that year by her superiors to create a serum that would allow whoever was injected to transform into any other human they wanted to, even being able to have the same DNA and finger prints as them.

Dr. Becker spent months developing the serum; primarily in her personal lab in Zima, Russia. When she claimed the serum was completed, she picked 12 human subjects to be injected; each of them a different age ranging from eight to twenty. These subjects were taken by force, injected with the serum, and then placed back in their lives with no memory of their interaction with HYDRA. This was to prevent 'stressed induced' effects.

The serum took time to work, ranging from a few hours to days to a few months. However, within six months of being injected, ten of the subjects were killed due to complications with the serum. They were all found with their bodies disfigured and broken; their DNA not able to transform as the serum had intended. Due to this, the project was then terminated within the year it started.

The remaining two subjects reacted differently than the others; subject 11–a 19 year old girl from Paris, France—was able to shift into another human's form; taking on the appearance of her mother and her school teacher. However, once taken in by HYDRA, she died like the previous subjects. Subject 4–a 12 year old girl from Hamburg, Germany—was not able to change into other human forms, but into forms of other animals. HYDRW took her into custody to train and study her abilities. Dr. Becker wanted to study subject 4's genetics to replicate it, but HYDRA had terminated the project and would not allow it.

"So it's true," I whisper; resigned. "They did this to me."

I hand James the file and let him read through it, and when he's done, he slips his metal hand into mine and says, "I'm so sorry Soroya."

I squeeze his hand, smiling softly. "I had always suspected, and at least now I know for certain. But I wonder why my powers are so different from what they were intended to be...I guess I'll never know."

"Don't say that. We'll keep searching different bases; there has to be more information about you and your powers out there somewhere. We just need to find it."

I scooch a little closer towards him and lean my head against his shoulder, taking in a deep breath. "I'm really glad I didn't shoot you, James."

His shoulder's shake as he chuckles, then he wraps an arm around my waist; tucking me against his side. "So am I, Soroya."