Michael's point of view

"Luke!" I yelled when he started purposely attempting to fit his fist into the rips in my denim jacket. "You're going to mess it up!"

"It's already falling apart!" He said and I huffed as he continued. "I can do it!" He yelled and I rolled my eyes, rolling up my sleeves around my elbow.

"Am I Michael yet?" Ashton yelled, waving his arms around. Bracelets covered a good half of his arms and he wore a flannel, an all black outfit right underneath it.

"No."

"Never." I agreed with Calum and he laughed as he began to take them off. "I'm one of a kind."

"Sure you are." Luke sang, Irreplaceable by Beyoncé. I rolled my eyes and then crossed my arms as I sat down on the couch. "You know I love you."

"Bull." I said and he literally jumped on top of me, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face into my chest. "Get off of me you parasite."

"You're just mad because I'm not as fat as you." Luke said and I rolled my eyes, pretending like it didn't hurt. "It's called muscles."

"It's called your fucking ego." I muttered and just let him lay on top of me, knowing that I couldn't just push him off. He was too heavy for me.

"Why do you have so many?" He asked and my heart pounded as he messed with the black bracelets around my wrist. "It's weird."

"You're weird." I retorted and then looked at Ashton. "Hey, put those back. I don't want to lose any, they cost more than what you make in a year."

"We make the same amount Michael." Ashton said and laughed. "Dumbass."

"That's how I know they cost more than your yearly salary." I mumbled and Luke laughed as Calum 'ooh'ed, like the child that he was.

Ashton rolled his eyes and then set them down, leaving them alone to mess with his phone. Calum did the same and I closed my eyes, leaning my head on the back of the couch cushion.

"Tired Mikey?"

"Yeah." I said and he told me to get some sleep. "Luke it's not... yeah, maybe that'll help." I lied since he didn't know about my insomnia, despite how many times I tweet about being unable to sleep.

"Wait, Manny is calling." Ashton said and Calum laughed, telling him that's not his name. "He's our manager so I call him Manny, shut up Calum." He said and then answered it as I looked up at him.

"Hello?" He asked as he put the phone on speaker. "What's up?" He asked and then leaned back on a chair.

"Hey boys, we have a bunch of fan mail here, do you want it?" Our manager said and I fumbled with my bracelets as Luke laughed.

"Throw mine out." Calum said and Ashton nodded, agreeing with him verbally as he did so. "It's going to be mostly 'follow us' or 'marry me'. I don't want to go through that." He told him as he laughed on something on his phone.

They are paying for that phone you asshole, least you can do is read one or two letters.

"Same here. I'm good. Maybe next time. I'm busy right now." Ashton said as he messed with Luke's acoustic guitar. "Mikey, how about you? Toss it?"

They also paid for that guitar...

"Send me mine." I said and they all looked at me shocked. They shrugged and then told 'Manny', telling us it's on its way over.

"Toss mine, I'm too tired to go through them all." Luke said and I mentally rolled my eyes at all of them. Fucking losers.

Ashton hung up and then looked at me. "Why do you want your fanmail? You know it'll be mostly requests for follows and vulgar stuff." He told me and I shrugged.

"I-I wanna see." I said and he nodded, not pushing the subject. "They spent the time to write and draw and do stuff for us, so why not?"

"I gotta pee." Luke said and then stood up, getting off of my lap. I thanked him and then took a deep breath as he pointed at me. "I'll be back."

"No." I said and he laughed as he walked away. Calum whistled at something on his phone and then babbled on about this hot girl who he switched numbers with at the last concert.

I stopped messing with my bracelets and then stood up, walking to my bedroom as I took my denim jacket off. I left the tank top on but when my eyes caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, I changed my mind.

I threw on a long sleeve to hide my jiggly and pale arms, aswell as my stomach that budged out, and then I sat on my bed. I pulled my phone out and then opened twitter, seeing people worshipping the fact Ashton, Calum, and Luke are always posting selfies and tweeting.

I'd take as many selfies but you know... I'm not exactly the most attractive person in the world.

I scrolled through a bit more and then Calum was carrying a box into my room not even an hour later. I looked at it and he set it down on my bed. "Full of letters and shit, here you go. Have fun." He said and I thanked him as I stood up.

I grabbed the box and pulled it close, underestimating how heavy it was.

Or maybe I overestimated how strong I was, who knows?

I made sure the door was close and then reached into the drawer, opening the box as I ran a box cutter through it. I put it away and then opened it, seeing bunches of letters and even a couple of packages.

I took a handful and sat down on the bed, opening the first five letters. As Ashton said, it was mostly lists of social media with the occasional paragraph. I sighed and threw them aside, before reaching into the box.

I wasn't going to admit that they were right though, I want to prove them that I wasn't an idiot for asking for my fanmail.

I grabbed a package and then opened it up, finding a bunch of bracelets in there. I smiled and then picked one up, fitting it onto my already covered wrist. It fit perfectly, not too loose and not to tight.

The others were all the same size and I made a mental note to thank whoever sent them to me on twitter. I set them aside and then grabbed the other package, opening it up.

I looked at it was a box full of guitar picks and stickers for it. They were pretty cool, so I set them aside and then decided to thank them too. My guitar was looking a little too plain anyways.

I grabbed a couple of more letters, ripping them open and reading them. Some were sweet, paragraphs full of how much they love me and how much I mean to them, others about how they can't wait to see us live because we're absolutely amazing.

You'd think with all that, I'd find even the smallest bit of love for myself, but I don't.

I sighed and grabbed one last envelope, which was bigger than the last few I grabbed. I ripped it open and then looked at the number in the bottom right hand corner.

One.

I furrowed my eyebrows and read through the half paged letter, seeing it was a girl named Aleigha who was ranting to me about her day.

"People are dumbasses." I agreed and then flipped the page, the second letter helping me have some background knowledge on her.

"When was this written?" I asked and saw a date in the top righthand corner. "Oh, my day was... sad actually." I said as I remembered the day.

We had an interview and we were talking about our newest album, which we said that it was about real life problems people deal with. I had to stop myself from talking because just mentioning mental illnesses and self harm made my wrist itch and my eyes water.

I turned the page and then saw another letter. This one was about her family and stuff. "I'm not close to mine either..." I hummed and then chuckled. "Is that an eating disorder? If so, then I have it." I said as I read about her binging and restricting.

Before I could go on to the next, Calum was walking in with his camera pointed at me. "Mikey's reading fanmail." He said and pointed at me.

I gave a small wave to the camera and then closed the letter, setting it down before ruffling my hair and yawning quietly. "Aww, is little Mikey sleepy?" Calum teased as he walked further into the room, putting the camera all up in his face.

"Yeah." I answered and then covered the camera. "Cal." I whined and then pouted at him. "Out."

"Mikey's being mean." Calum wailed and then ran out of the room, exaggerating for the sake of their fans enjoyment.

I pushed the box off of my bed and then tossed all the ripped envelopes inside, along with all the bullshit letters. The meaningful ones followed, and the one I had yet to finish laid on my dresser for me to read when I woke up from my nap.

I rubbed my eye and then scooted down further into the bed, gasping in pain as one of my tighter bracelets dug into my wrist. I moved the black material, seeing that a small portion of the scab wad removed and blood beaded slowly in the area.

I simply wiped it away and then closed my eyes as I took all my bracelets off. I kept the long sleeve on and then covered my hands with the sleeves as I pulled the blue comforter over me.

I yawned softly once more and then buried my face into my pillow, hoping to fall asleep.