The sudden gust of wind lifted up the stack of papers on the desk before the secretary slammed her hand down.  "Here again, are we?" she said, without looking up from the keyboard. 

"It's never my fault!" Ryland exhaled out and slapped the pink slip on her desk. 

Behind her round spectacles, her dull eyes took a slow roll down to the paper.  "I thought you said you didn't need a guidance appointment?"

"I don't!" he roared and stomped past her into another room. 

By the time the secretary lifted her eyes, Delilah was already brushing past her.  "Miss—get a late slip!  Wait—who are you?!"

But Delilah didn't have time for annoying secretary ladies.  Before Ryland could slam the glass door on her again, she stuck her foot between and cut into the room.  A cloud of smoke followed behind as Melon Head snuck behind.  The joint-sucking idiot was never far.

The guidance counsellor looked up from her iPhone.  "Ew.  You again?"

Ryland flashed her a fake smile and plopped down on the first seat in front of her desk.  Delilah did too.  Melon Head reached for a seat, but the guidance counsellor flew a crazy hand up.  "Don't move!  Watch the wig!" 

Melon Head looked down and saw the black mop of strands sitting in the seat.  "Give it over," the guidance counsellor ordered. 

Mortified, Melon Head reached in and used only two fingers to pick it up.  "Put it on my lamp," she added.  He made a weird face, dropping it on the simple desk lamp.  She patted the top of the before settling back in her chair.  "Sorry.  I was running late for an assembly and felt more of a redhead today."  She gingerly pushed her red bob up and smiled. 

"Insert skull emoji here..." Melon Head distantly spoke, averting his gaze from the 50 Shades series on the shelves.  

"So"—the counsellor folded her two hands over each other and looked to Ryland—"What are we here for today?  Bullying incident?  Wedgie problem?  You killed a freshmen?" 

"This psychotic bitch came screaming in my gym class and claimed she has my child," Ryland yelled.

"Ah."  The counsellor took off her glasses and started folding the ends.  "It's one of these situations."

Ryland shot to the edge of his seat.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

She pointed the glasses at Ryland.  "Someone is fucking you over, Ryland." 

"As crazy as it sounds—I don't think this is a prank!"

"If you call inserting a living being into my vagina a prank, then this is the best fucking prank I've had in centuries," Delilah said. 

"Who are you?" the counsellor asked. 

"We're the new exchange students," Melon Head casually answered, leaning back in his chair. 

"Sir, we don't smoke in this institution," the counsellor ordered.  

"Then how the fuck do you get off?"

"You put your hand down your pants," Ryland said. 

Melon Head let out a bitter laugh.  "I like this one, Delilah.  Keep him."

But the Devil kept her arms crossed, steam pouring out of her ears.  "I don't know why the fuck I'm here.  I just wanted to talk with Ryland because he owns this fucking demon inside of me and I'd like him to take it out," Delilah explained.

Melon Head raised his hand.  "I swear I'm the only one on crack here."

The counsellor smacked his hand down with her pen.  "I don't even know why you're here.  Where's your pink slip?"

"Up your ass," Delilah sneered. 

"Attitude problems.  And I thought you kids were gonna give me a challenge." The counsellor rolled her eyes and looked between the two.  "Clearly you guys have something to sort out.  Sounds like something two hot chocolates, a nice indie café, a pouring of emotions and hidden thoughts could definitely fix.  Here, I actually have a coupon to this cheap indie café down the street.  You can save sixty nine cents on a coffee if you buy one of their mini muffins."  She began taking out her wallet and Ryland just sat there, picking at his shirt, mumbling. 

She gave Ryland the coupon and he miserably accepted it, snatching it out of her hand and stuffed it in his pocket. 

"Great."  The councellor clasped her hands together.  "So now that we got that settled—how are your days going?"  Melon Head opened his mouth, but she cut in, "Okay!  That's all for now!" 

The councellor wrote something on a slip and stuck three of them on her desk.  Ryland took one, crumpling it in his hand a bit.  "So kids avoid drugs, and—I mean"—the councellor laughed a bit—"you've already gotten unwanted pregnancy so I really have nothing else to say.  What could you really do, right?"  She laughed at her own joke and then dropped her smile.  "Now shoo and be that sexuality confused teen most of you are.  Make out in janitor closets and snog behind book shelves and do your homework." 

Ryland got to his feet and left without a word except with a trail of grumbles under his breath. 

Delilah, slightly lost by this guidance counsellor shook her head to wake herself out of this confusion and got up, going after him.

Melon Head removed the joint and put it in the counsellor's glass of water.  He reached for the door, but spotted the wig sitting on one of the vases and snatched it off. 

Delilah finally grabbed Ryland's arm, but he quickly flinched away.  "Gagh!  Get away!" he exclaimed and rushed out of the office.  The secretary slapped her hand over the papers again as she kept clicking on the keyboard.

Then he slammed the door.   

Delilah groaned and turned around.  "Why is this so difficult?!"

Melon Head had a lopsided smile with the pink, curly wig on his head. 

"I'm five seconds away from slapping that smile off your face," she said with such venom. 

He smiled even bigger and Delilah screamed again.

"Ma'am!  Boy with the weird baseball cap."  The secretary, with one hand, kept typing as the other dropped a heavy brown bag on her desk.  "Found you in the server."

Paris had worked his magic again.

"Here are your textbooks," the secretary continued.  "Class schedule is a yellow paper on the first page."  She flickered her gaze from the screen and to Delilah.  "Try not to shove that paper up anyone's ass.  Wouldn't want to kill a tree because of your indecency."

Delilah flashed her a fake smile and grabbed the textbooks off, staring at the screen for a moment.  Her computer screen went black and the secretary screamed at the monitor, grabbing the computer from the side.  "What?!  No!  I didn't save my work!"

Delilah slinked out of the room, Melon Head giving off a small 'tsk, tsk' in disapproval. 

Just as they exited the office, Delilah slammed her textbooks to Melon Head's chest.  He grunted, using his one knee to keep them from falling.  "I hate the education system here," she snapped.

"Yeah, so does the entire teenage population but you don't see them setting fire to the school," Melon Head muttered.

She whirled her head to the side.  "And why not?"

"Because they're not psychotic devils from Hell?" he offered. 

She let out an annoyed sigh.  "I just don't understand!  How the hell does Ryland not remember anything?!" 

"Look what Hell dragged in." 

Delilah froze in her steps at the familiar voice and lowered her sunglasses.  "Oh my seven sins..."

A pair of shredded boyfriend jeans dragged against the floor as a moody blonde girl approached.  

"Her eyeliner is so dark, it makes me feel like she's staring into my soul," Melon Head whispered.  

Delilah moved past the idiot and embraced the blonde in a tight hug.  She sniffed.  "You smell like a human." 

"I try to wash off the scent every day," the blonde grumbled. 

"What are you doing here?!" Delilah exclaimed, pulling away. 

The blonde checked over her shoulder before leaning in.  "I live in this town now.  With Paris.  I go to this whorehouse called a high school everyday and have to try and be...ugh, normal."

Melon Head cleared his throat.  "Who are you?"

Delilah rolled her eyes and nodded her head behind her.  "That's Melon Head.  The human looking meathead of what he calls my 'squad'."  

Melon Head slung his arm over Delilah's shoulder, flashing the blonde a proud smile.  "Our squad is lit."

The blonde didn't even glance at him.  "What kind of drug are you on, Delilah?  You know you're not supposed to be on Earth!  It's gonna fuck up the atmosphere around here!"

Melon Head cleared his throat again and both girls rolled their eyes. 

"I'm like Paris," explained the blonde.  "But I'm the spiritual form of Heartbreak crammed in this short, ugly body.  I'm called HB for short."

"Like as in the sauce?" Melon Head asked.

"That's HP sauce you dickwitt," Delilah said.  

Melon Head blinked twice. 

HB explained, "Because of the universe or some shit, I'm soulmates with this fucktard named Paris.  Have you met him?  I'm stuck to be his lover, for like, forever.  Crack open a book if you want to know more 'cause I hate talking about it."

"Wow.  Being soulmates and having to eternally love someone for the rest of your life?  Sounds like a lot of work," Melon Head said.

"I want to kill myself.  But I can't even do that because we're stuck together for all freaking eternity, bounded by the law of opposites attract."   You know, 'eternally bonded' and all."  She used her two hands for air quotes.  "I tried getting rid of him, but nope--soulmates are glued together.  Don't ever get married.  They say it's the same thing."

"HB!" shouted Paris from down the hall.  HB groaned, whispering prayers below as a long arm wrapped around her waist.  "You smell funny.  Did you forget to use deodorant?" Paris cooed at the blonde. 

Delilah grumbled at his cuteness.  "There's my other favourite universe spirit."  

"Hey, keep the cosmic lingo to a down low," he whispered, lazily leaning against poor HB who was twice as small. 

Then HB's sharp voice sent everyone jumping a bit.  "You put my whites in the reds again!" HB shouted at Paris.

"All things you wear should be red.  It's the colour of love," Paris sang and even tugged proudly at his red knit sweater.    

"And you drew hearts in my shower glass!" HB shot. 

"You need a hug," he said and reached out with long arms. 

"No!" She slapped him away.

Delilah cleared her throat and clasped her hands together.  "Anyways, I have a huge problem."  She smiled.  "I'm—"

Paris clamped a hand over her mouth.  "Let's not talk about angels and demons because we are around humans who go batshit loco at the thought of mystical creatures existing and although I love it when people go crazy, right now in a high school full of curious teens isn't the best place." 

"You love freaking everything," HB mumbled.

"I love you," he said, his body melting into his big huggable being.

"I hate you," she said but he hugged her anyways.  

He started hugging her tighter and it was quite amusing to see this tiny, blonde creature wrestle a hovering six foot piece of love off of her.  Paris rustled her hair before giving his girlfriend space.  

"You guys are cute," Delilah said.  Her smile dropped.  "It disgusts me."

"Oh, you know you love it," Paris sang.

"I'm fifty seconds away from smashing your face and wiping this disgusting floor with it," Delilah replied. 

"I never knew you liked cleaning," Melon Head quipped. 

Delilah glared, but Paris quickly swooped in and slung an arm around each of them.  "So how 'bout we take this ah-mazing conversation after school at my ah-mazing crib?"

"No!  I need to find Ryland—"

"Sounds lovely!" Melon Head interrupted and shook hands with Paris.  Paris laughed and grabbed Melon Head instead, hugging him tight. 

"Handshakes are for business partners.  We're friends now!" Paris insisted. 

Melon Head laughed and Delilah couldn't even tell you if it was fake or not.  "Let's go, friends!" Paris exclaimed.

HB groaned.  "This is what I have to deal with every day," she told Delilah. 

"At least you don't have to deal with an idiot named after a fruit," Delilah responded back with a shrug.

+++

A/N:

I wanted to make it longer, but then it would've been way to long.  Sorry for being a day late—I just got back to school today (its Monday here) and I have so much homework.   

I'm debating if HB should be played by either:

Emma Watson

Or

Anna Kendrick

What do you think? Which one?

I know there's a bit of description in this chapter, but that's because you need to get to know the characters and understand what's going on.

In the next chapter, it'll be much better now that you know more.

Please vote!

What do you think of the story so far? 

Love you! Xx twister