I don't think it's physically or emotionally possible for a male to love a woman. Not in my experience, anyways. I haven't really ever been in love, I've never even been in a relationship. Unless you count Dakota Barnes in Preschool. But I've observed it. I've watched it totally destroy people and leave them empty. I've watched my Mom suffer from heartbreak and loneliness the past fifteen years, after my dad died. She says he treated her like a Queen, maybe if he was still here, I'd know what love was and what it's supposed to be like. I've watched love destroy my grandparents, they're still together... but you can tell there's no love left there. I can't say I've never experienced some kind of love from a male, because that wouldn't be true. My best friend, David, happens to have an X and a Y chromosome. I also had my father, for the first seven years of my life. But I'm not talking about that kind of love.  I mean the kind of love in the books and the movies. Where the man is staring at the woman with so much adoration, like she is his whole world. As if he couldn't breathe without her. The kind of love where he'd always come to your rescue and never see you as an inconvience. Where he dances with you in the kitchen, with no music. A man that will read to you and play with your hair. Who will care for you when you're sick, or maybe even just tired. Where he always holds your hand and makes sure you're walking on the inside of the sidewalk. He will do things for you just out of the kindness of your own heart. He will be so incredibly patient for you, because God knows how stubborn you are. That man will actually take into consideration your thoughts and feelings.  He doesn't manipulate you to do things he wants or blames you when things go wrong. Maybe I've been choosing the wrong guys to give my love to, or maybe guys like this truly just do not exist. You might say I have unrealistic expectations, but I would do all of that and more for a man I love. Shouldn't I receive the same thing, if he truly loves me? It is said that love is patient and love is kind. But I've never met someone who is patient, but who is also kind, and vice versa. Does someone like that even exist? What would even make me worthy of them? I'm nothing special, I have boring brown eyes and boring brown hair to match it. I have white porcelain skin, that makes me look like I've never even seen the sun. I'm practically a stick, I have a bit of a figure but nothing to lust over. Certainly nothing to fall in love with...

"Lottie."